I went back for an episode here or there. Psy used my presence as a hook to get more people to come and listen since he must have known that MOST people weren’t listening in as they used to.The experience was altogether rather uncomfortable. I didn’t know anyone, there were just….random people. The jokes were in the same vein of being crude, but it was people I didn’t know making them. The audience in the chatroom listening live seemed far more interested in talking to each other or professing love to those in the podcast than they were in actually listening.Psy barely spoke anymore, it was all very surreal. It was far more regimented and dull, in my opinion. Not to say that a bunch of people screaming at each other to try and talk over Kirb was a good thing to listen to back when I was a regular, but still. For me, conversation is a very organic thing. Trying to compartmentalize it really limits where it can go.I couldn't keep up. The topics were of little interest to me. And I was sort of just there to be a showcase item. "Look! Cailen came back! Pay Us Money!" I didn't really feel welcom, and I knew at that point that it was a part of my life not worth revisiting. I hadn’t really spoken to Psy one on one for years, and I deleted him from my contacts without a word soon after my last appearance. He never attempted to contact me again.As far as I know, Liz and Kirb were still together when I was on my last Wha-Chow, if that helps the timeline any. I don’t know what flavor of the month Psy had at that point, I had stopped paying attention long ago for my own sanity’s sake. Wha-Chow was a very bizarre, darkened period of my life that I'm proud of. Happy that people enjoyed what little I brought to the table, but still. Were I to go back I would change many things.
