#whaleblogging

[queer-cosette]

I’m laughing so hard at this YouTube clickbait thumbnail. What the fuck. It’s such a disaster. The implications that a blue whale and a sperm whale would fight as if they’re not just out there vibing. The thumbnail showing two completely different whale species. The humpback leaping directly into the false killer whale’s mouth. The way they’re photoshopped so the false killer looks bigger than the humpback when humpbacks clock in at 30,000kg and false killer whales come under the ‘ambitious dolphin’ category. Everything about this is a trainwreck I’m so obsessed.

[Image description: a screenshot of a YouTube video thumbnail. YouTube is set to dark mode. The video is titled “Blue Whale vs Sperm Whale”. The video thumbnail depicts a humpback whale photoshopped so it appears to be breeching backwards into a false killer whale’s mouth. The timestamp for the video is 11 minutes and 1 second. /end description]

[breezilis]

whale weekly just started and i have decided to commit to it. for the next 3 years im gonna be reading moby dick in real time

[hairybuttsarebeautiful]

ugggh I need to go shopping today but I'm not in the mood to be seen by people

[hairybuttsarebeautiful]

good news, I think it was gas

[thewhalespaceemissary]

Oh shitballs I uh

forgot my phone charger

Tentative peace out from the front line until I can find a seabeast with an iphone 5 cable

[thewhalespaceemissary]

The car's owner is an old dude, like, a human. I asked Mr. Jinbei if the guy's an ex-duelist, but he's got no idea. Dude has a lot of stories though, apparently. I tried asking him personally and he just told me about the time some guy wanted to buy a convertible? From a friend called Puddy? The original deal was going to be cheap, because the friend was an acquaintance, but a series of trumped-up costs for "extras" started to get racked up. 

Meanwhile, some guy called Kramer (he wouldn't explain to me who Kramer was) took the car out for a test drive, eventually running the fuel tank past empty. He was also talking about a bunch of drama George was having to deal with over a chocolate bar.

The way he talked about it all, it sounded like some kind of TV episode or something. I wouldn't have a clue, I don't watch that much TV and none of those names sound familiar.

Jinbs and I agreed the guy's kind of freaky. I probably shouldn't be texting while driving come to think of it bleh

[thewhalespaceemissary]

Trout County , sometimes known as Mount Trout County, is an independent mountain-state. The nearest neighboring whale-state is the Sei Seas, though the County itself is embedded in Orca grounds. The current head of the County is the rainbow trout Count Prisma.

The County is the stronghold of the migrating riverfishes; the main demographic groups of the County are trout (51%), salmon (33%) and eel (12%). The freshwater outflow coupled with the numerous narrow waterways which stream from unknown sources from the mountainous island creates a safe haven for these species, which would otherwise be voraciously preyed upon by marauding orcas.

Orcas are one of the most populous whales in Cetaspace, and certainly the largest demographic without a central government. Their phylogenetic kinhood with the dolphins has been used as justification by "true whales" to ostracize the species, though orcas themselves have little interest in improving their reputation.

Orcas are predatory pack-hunters, often living on the contested borders of other whales' geopolitical territories. These packs will intermingle with or fight other orca packs as they apparently see fit. There is no universally acknowledged leader of all orcakind, though with every wave of Whale Duelists there will invariably be one individual who attempts to unite the species under one banner.

While Orcas are reviled by most, if not all whales, they have a particular animosity with the similarly-nomadic narwhals - possibly due to the latter's esteem as an arbiter and diplomat among the interwhaletional community.

[thewhalespaceemissary]

Made it to Trout County! Granola gave me less trouble than I expected, partly because I used him as bait to head off some Seicret Service whales who had been pursuing us through Orca badlands. (badwaters?)

Finding Eunice's colleague was a bit more problematic. Being a separate entity from the whale states, Trout County is one of those places that's less than happy with Whale Duellists invading the dimension and causing havoc. They hold their own thanks to the mountain stronghold, but ultimately rogue elements like us duellists just cause more problems for them.

Case in point: one of the contestants holed himself up on the mountain, and they've been raiding the creches for food. The whale dimension is conspicuously bear-deprived, so it's not like they can rely on a grizzly to fuck the guy's shit up. It's on those grounds that I was allowed up onto the mountain, and that's where I met the minke friend of Eunice.

Or, should, I say, minky friend. Turns out Mr. Jinbei is a Whalespace native!

Not, legally speaking, being a true whale (whale sharks being fish, not mammals), the NNN has him listed as a Minke whale affiliate. Whoever runs that network has a shitty sense of humour and I can't wait to meet them. He'd heard the news about Eunice, but seemed excited to have a reason to leave the County and report on something legitimately interesting. That, and we're roommates, so that's gotta count for something right?

Anyway, we hired this car and we're going to go off-roading, see if we can't find this turtling asshole who's eating the poor baby salmon.