"What I Learned From 100 Days of Rejection" with Jia Jiang, TEDxMtHood Review
I just finished the TED talk “What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection” by Jia Jiang and it has got me so pumped. This morning, I wanted to stay in bed, and just be warm and wrapped up in my blanket, but now I feel like I need go out and conquer the world, or at least my career. Let me share with you four of the key points that I took away from the talk.
Don't Run! Engage the Situation.
Jia gave this example of when he was publicly rejected as a child, and how that scar stayed with him throughout his adult life. Going on this “rejection” path has taught him that if he just faces what’s in front of him, instead of running, his engagement could change the overall outcome of the rejection.
Ask “Why” & Pay Attention to the Answer.
Sometimes the reason why you’re being rejected has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with what you’re offering. It may not fit the needs or expectations of the person you’re talking to, so before you turn tail and run, engage, and then ask “why”.
Mirror the Mentality & Confront the Fears of the Rejector.
Jia gave one example of being in a Starbucks, and asking if he could be a greeter (like a Walmart greeter, but for Starbucks) and the manager looking uncomfortable with the idea. Before the manager could even say “no”, Jia asked “is that weird”. He just asked what he could see on the managers face - that it was a strange request he was making. The manager was able to acknowledge his own hesitations and then granted Jia's request. Mirroring often guides people to align with your thinking. First you align with their thinking, their body language, etc., and then they flow and align with yours. I think it’s great that that kind of psychology came into play when Jia was discovering more about rejection.
Ask for What You Want Until You Get it!
Jia has been rejected on a number of occasions, and it has never stopped him from continuing to make requests. Remember that just because the first person doesn’t accept whatever you’re offering, doesn't mean no one will. Learn from the reason for their rejection and move on to the next person, because it’s a numbers game. All of life is a numbers game. At some point someone’s going to give you a “yes”. Jia gave the example of wanting to teach a class for college students. However, he doesn’t have a background in teaching. He doesn’t have all these prestigious accolades following behind his name, though still he asked a professor to teach. That professor said “no”. He asked another professor. They said “no”. He asked a third professor, and they said “yes”. I find that story to be fantastic, because it worked well with his talk, and has inspired me to keep asking until I hear “yes”. That’s what I got from Jia Jiang’s talk this morning on what he learned from 100 days of rejection. I hope that’s helped you. If you are interested in listening to this talk, it is on TED right now: https://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection