Jan 7
the problem with family gatherings is that i will say regular-sounding stuff like "i don't really like opening gifts because you have to figure out what to do with your face the whole time" and my sister will be like "just act regular???" and i have to remember she doesn't get that i'm speaking literally and if just acting regular were obvious and straightforward i would probably do it. and i could use advice on how to even
#like ma'am if i am truly not putting conscious thought into it it's gonna be this: 😐#i think she hears it as me being like i don't want to have to put an effort into being nice and polite#when it's like#idk not to be like how can i relate this to heated rivalry#but when hudson williams was like sometimes autism presents physically as sitting totally still for ten seconds before#moving your arm because you don't know what this motion is or what it means#it's just like this would be such a non-odd thing to say to virtually any of my friends even if they don't have that specific issue#so when my relatives just on a conceptual and sentence level are not picking up what i mean i'm like well. guess we're doing it the hard wa#i've tried explaining it but i do think she and others think i'm just being obtuse possibly willfully or because i don't care enough to try#personal nonsense
