Okay. I don't know how coherent this is going to be but I have Thoughts and I need to get them out.
The last scene of episode 4, with Shane and Ilya both looking directly at the camera and also mentally and metaphorically at each other.
Ilya is alone in the shower. Ilya is getting himself off alone in the shower. After specifically going to the club to get laid.
Now I know Ilya can canonically go more than once a night. But I don't think that's what's happening here. He didn't go out that night because he was horny and he's just not done yet. He went out that night because he was desperately looking for a distraction and for some solid ground because he is in free fall after so tentatively daring to reach, just a little, for more with Shane and Shane running from him.
Yet Ilya ended the night alone in the shower. Why?
Because loving Shane has changed him so irrevocably that those old coping mechanisms don't work anymore. When Shane left, Ilya reached for that old safety net only to find that it's not strong enough to catch him anymore.
Which we saw alluded to in the opening montage. That last summer, Ilya is at the club like always but instead of doing what he usually does, he's sitting alone at the bar texting Shane, replacing the comfort he gets from clubbing with the comfort he gets from Shane.
And as Ilya found out at the end of the episode, the former doesn't even hold a candle to the latter.
