#whichisgood

[juliettalewis-blog]

#goodmorning #sortof getting my prescription delivered through #fedex #whichisgood #feelingalittletrappedthismorning been #watching #random #netflix #documentaries could always #rewatch #buffythevampireslayer for the #billionthtime honesty anytime #jamesmarsters is on screen the world is a better place #foraminute #imtired #baddreams #lastnight https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Kq3aXnd2c/?igshid=1f13pvl6o0qu2

[kajel-jeten]

I feel really really bad about the new decade. 

[ohdanggnikkayy]

Tired×3

To be honest, I’m so exhausted. Tired of doing the same thing every single week. School. Work. Ministry. Sleep. Repeat. I’m just going through the motions.

I’m never looking forward to anything anymore. I realize that I’m never excited about anything anymore. I don’t even know what the heck I’m doing with my life, myself, anymore. I just don’t know anymore.

Do I write because I really am passionate about it, or because people always praise me & my writings? Do I serve as a Christian leader on campus because that’s where my heart is, or is it just because I’m used to serving? Why do I even do the things I’m doing? There’s no excitement, no fire, no spark. I’m all burnt out.

I don't smile as much as I used to. I don't laugh as much as I once did. People always tell me that I have a beautiful smile, but do they know that inside I'm disgusted at the person I've become? I was always vocal about inner beauty, but now, it feels as if my inner parts have been ripped apart and destroyed, consumed by a poison that continues to be fueled by self-hate. Who am I?

Now I’m stuck wondering how I can ever get back to the person I used to be. How is it possible when every time I try to pray a genuine prayer, it just seems forced? Every time I try to make myself vulnerable, repenting, asking God to reveal Himself, I still find myself with a guarded heart.

I can’t explain this. I’m trying. I’m giving everything 110%, but how can I keep giving when I’m so drained? I am physically, mentally, spiritually, & emotionally drained. I need rediscovery. Revival. Renewal. Rethinking. Re- everything. Just, where do I go from here God? Where?

I’m tired.

Tired.

Tired.

[a-lone-so-blog]

"You need to get drunk and get high before you leave. But I can only provide you with alcohol." -my brother "You need to drink a beer before you leave" - my dad It's like they don't know!

[fortheloveofcolinmorgan]

I made spaghetti, cheesy garlic bread, and brownies with icecream for dinner. Sometimes I could just marry myself.