#my fanfiction recommendation column
leave no soul behind by whochick
james t. kirk / s'chn t'gai spock, star trek: kelvin timeline
(i love it genuinely so much, so i even have playlist for it)
The Vegans have a legend among their kind. It speaks of beings that live in the ocean. Unlike the human mermaid mythos, these water angels sing no siren song to call souls into the dark embrace of death. Far from it. They are said to flock towards the drowning, providing buoyancy, succour and support. The Vegans swear that in the water, no one dies alone.
There are many reasons why you love stories - some enchant with their beauty, some break your heart with their quiet sadness, some help you get through hard times and believe in miracles, some, especially important ones, irrevocably and forever change your life, and you carry them with you carefully as the most precious treasures in pockets near your hearts, but sometimes, and I love such stories the most, they are simply familiar to you, as if you've always known them, as if they have always been here, and you wear them like your favorite clothes, slightly worn and so undeniably yours.
And if TOS became for me that precious treasure from my pocket near my heart, Leave No Soul Behind is undoubtedly this rare, familiar, very mine story. And besides, by a strange coincidence, this was the main reason why I even turned on the first episode of TOS in early spring. Even before my sister and I found evenings together to watch the reboot, which I had fond memories of since my early 20s, I remembered K/S (my memory was hazy, but I definitely knew that there was some obvious hungry codependency between the two of them) and decided to read something purely out of curiosity. LNSB wasn't even first on the list, but I opened it, and it wasn't until halfway through that I even remembered that I sat down to read it for K/S. Because it was just, damn, why wasn't it released officially? It was so whole, so self-contained, and so tactful in the way it showed us relationships that it was probably the first time I thought I could even show it to my sister, who is very skeptical about fanfiction.
When I think of AOS, I think of LNSB first. This is simply the best reading of AOS that exists, better than AOS itself, to be honest. It's such a well-built world, with a well-maintained dynamic of speed, character relationships, plot drama, and, most importantly, this story somehow manages to take everything that was good in the reboot and make it a serious, psychologically literate thing. It does what AOS should do: explores important themes in TOS through the prism of the lost utopianism of today's harsh reality, and does it with such tenderness, with such love for the original, that it somehow disarms. This is a well-written story of the life of paramedics in a world at war, where things you know disappear with each passing day, and you fall asleep to the sound of a radio that no longer brings good news, and you don't know if tomorrow will come. It's vociferously anti-war, and it's especially familiar to us today. It openly talks about PTSD, and painfully true, and somehow simply, without undue dramatization or attempts to soften it, speaks of SA/DV childhood trauma, as it is, unremarkable, unsightly, shameful, and not heroic at all.
This is clearly the most accurate depiction of AOS Kirk, in his lostness, disrespect for authority, and trust issues. In how he only has one bag to carry his entire life in, an old, worn-out jacket, and paperback books that he sends to a house he can't return to. In how his desire to feel like he belongs is more important to him than any ambition or achievement. And this story is incredibly authentic in its little personal things, in its witty dialogues, in this nostalgia for a non-plastic life with coffee cups and bagels in the city center, for morning runs and long night car rides, for divided breathing in the cramped bed, in this "you and I, we've both been through hell, and in complete disarray and terror we don't want any loud victories, we just want a simple, quiet life". And, yes, the K/S here is something special. Despite all the drama, the constantly high degree of tension, and the roller coaster of the transitions between parts, it's a very concrete, fundamental thing from the very beginning. What's between them, they're building it step by step, they're talking and helping each other on the path to healing, and it's somehow so... right.
Just the way it should be.
And in many ways, this story is much closer to the original series in its essence than anything else, and it's strangely, humanly very dear to me, because we humans tend to get attached to stories.