#whoooo

[delicatelymorbid]

need someone to fuck me so slow and soft under my blanket while my oblivious roommates are just a few feet away. wanna try my best to be quiet, maybe suck on their fingers to keep my mouth occupied while i feel every inch slowly sink into me, giving me what i need

[fullmoonlovestuff]

Pedro Pascal for fantasticman magazine SS26 - issue nº 42

Okay, bye...xD

[thethoriumreactor]

Requests part 3 (feat. A hell of an anatomy practice)

[thedalflower]

The starlight princess

[fish-with-more-eyes]

[id in alt]

tgaa~~ as someone who gets into most games by watching streams, i'm so glad onsta and karina had so many silly times with these guys

i've been thinking about them more lately because twitter has realized i like seeing people report on tgaa miis fooling around in tomodachi life sdkjfs

[saisaixchan]

While rereading Eyeshield 21, something I noticed was how Agon seemed to be especially spiteful towards Hiruma and Kurita. He's a naturally spiteful person, sure, but with those two, it seemed really personal. And I've been wondering... Why is that?

And i think i have my answer

More than once through the series (and especially during the Shinryuu Nagas game), comparisons are drawn between Hiruma and Unsui

Even on the character intro pages in volume 23, and the credits page in volume 20, they're drawn in ways that directly parallel each other.

And i think this is meant to imply that, on some level, Hiruma reminded Agon of Unsui.

Except, at this point, Unsui had already given up. He stopped trying to reach for higher, accepting the fact that he's just not that talented, and began existing only to try and make Agon look better

And what i find interesting is, despite how arrogant and selfish he is, Agon doesn't seem to like Unsui's decision here.

If anything, he looks disappointed. Pensive. Maybe even a little frustrated.

When Unsui got the news about the scholarship and broke down, Agon went to see him. Not to gloat - and in fact, he doesn't even say anything until Unsui is finished.

Agon may have gone there to try and comfort his brother, but he's such a self centered person, that he didn't know how.

Agon and Hiruma started working together sometime around this. And when they were working together to build Hiruma's threat book, i wonder if... Well

Maybe Agon was using his relationship with Hiruma to fill the void that Unsui created?

Unsui gave up. He lost his ambition, and it seems like he stopped hanging out with his brother too. We see a lot of flashbacks of them together as kids, but we see very little of them interacting outside of a school setting once they're in highschool. Their relationship has effectively ended.

But Hiruma still had that drive. And, even if they were just using each other, it was still a relationship. It was still some kind of interaction where Agon was working together with someone again. Someone of average skill who was intelligent, driven, and on the same wavelength as him

And, given how the narrative pushes the idea that Usui and Hiruma are similar... I think Agon was subconsciously using Hiruma as a replacement.

But then Hiruma broke that illusion.

He refused to bow down and agree with everything Agon believed.

And then, even worse - the reason Hiruma was doing all this in the first place was for Kurita.

In the end, i think it all boils down to jealousy.

Agon didn't have Unsui anymore. Even if his brother wasn't as strong or as talented as him, he was still always there, and at least tried to compete despite always losing. But that was gone now.

So then he and Hiruma start working together. And it's a good enough replacement for a while- until it isn't, and Hiruma unintentionally reminds Agon that he isn't Unsui.

In the end, Kurita is more important to Hiruma. He's the reason the threat book exists, and the reason they're trying to get into Shinryuu in the first place.

Kurita - someone Agon considers significantly less than him. An untalented loser. Trash.

So Agon lashes out, and takes the scholarship.

(which, i will admit, the timeline here is a little bit confusing, bc Agon effectively stole the scholarship twice and at different points in times, bc in one flashback he had natural hair, and in the other he had dreadlocks

There were 2 scholarship slots open, and Ikkyu already had one. That's why Kurita was gunning for the other.

My understanding is that Usui sent in the scholarship request, and since they mistook him for Agon, the scholarship became null, and the spot was still open for Kurita to grab

So, bc Agon already knew he'd get in bc of the mixup with Unsui, he went in to formally request the scholarship and stole it from Kurita)

In addition to everything else - i think Agon was also envious bc Hiruma had the kind of relationship he'd been missing.

Hiruma , Kurita, and Musashi were a happy little trio, trying to live out their dreams together. And maybe, looking at them reminded Agon of what he didn't have - and honestly, never had - with Unsui. Something he subconsciously craved, that sort of connection.

Now, you know who else has been directly compared to Hiruma by a character in the series?

Habashira Rui.

By Rui himself.

And he's right. Hiruma and Rui are very similar in a lot of ways. The only real difference between them were circumstances beyond their control.

Rui largely stays out of the series up until the World Cup, to the point that he and Agon never even interact until then. But what's really interesting is that Rui reminds Agon of someone else.

He reminds Agon of Unsui.

And this particular comparison doesn't bother Agon in the way it did with Hiruma. And i think that's bc Agon has no history with Rui - none of that baggage that Hiruma's existence carries. He's effectively a blank slate.

It makes sense that Agon would make this connection too, since Unsui, Hiruma, and Rui have all been set up by the narrative to be parallels with each other.

We see Agon already thinking about Unsui during the World Cup, before Rui reveals himself.

He's actually considering his brother's situation and feelings. It's one of the few times he shows that kind of care for anyone else.

And he seems almost regretful about it all. Bc he knows he's the reason Unsui's self confidence got beaten down so badly. It doesn't matter if Agon intended to do it or not - the fact is Agon was born more naturally gifted, and that wore away at Unsui until there was no ambition left in him

But seeing Rui struggling reminds Agon of his brother. Of the times before, when Unsui did have that ambition to keep going.

And so, knowing Unsui is watching, Agon challenges him by playing the rest of the game without his wig - looking like Unsui.

Effectively telling Unsui "You could be here too. Why aren't you?"

And, i think it's important to note that Agon does this after getting MVP points for saving Rui. In other words, saving Rui made Agon look good.

Which, I'll remind you, was literally his goal from the start when joining Team Japan

But Agon doesn't look like he appreciated that at all. Bc he's already made the connection between Rui and Unsui.

Bc he actually wants his brother to be there with him. He isn't satisfied by Unsui giving up. He wants his brother to have that drive and ambition again.

He doesn't want Unsui to exist just to make Agon look good.

And it works. This finally ignites a fire under Unsui. He wants to play again, not just to make Agon look good - but for himself.

Agon helped Unsui regain his ambition, because of Habashira Rui.

And i wanna point out - despite Rui being exactly the kinda person Agon would have called a loser, trash, worthless, etc earlier in the series - Agon never once says those things about him.

Anyway uhhhh this post started with me trying to figure something out, and then it became a long analysis about Agon and his relationships. oops

Idk how to end this uhh bye

[doctoreveel]

Celebrating After Being Prescribed HRT Stimboard;

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[xenerical]

He kept the secret tucked close to his chest, like a faded photo one would have of their lover in a locket. But it wasn't about his lover, wasn't really about the crush he had, it was the guilt over past experiences, and the knowledge he could never act on his feelings. He loved Simon, more than anything he's ever loved before, that just made it hurt all the more.

He couldn't have him. Couldn't even bring himself to spill his feelings. Anytime he thought he might have the courage, he locked up, vacating the area with an excuse. He told himself to get over it, shouldn't stay lost in something he can't have, but that just made him obsess more. He wanted him. So much, if he had the opportunity he'd give his life for the man, but he couldn't muster the courage to even ask.

So he kept it locked away, like he did all those years ago. Johnny was the boy who got sat down for a talk, told it was improper to hug his friends like that, but he was never told off when he hugged the girls. It festered in the back of his mind, rotting away like an infection that took away who he was. Joining the military was supposed to be an escape, not as stifling as his home where he couldn't be himself. He'd never talked about it properly, never admitted it, but he knew who he was. Knew he liked men more than simple comraderie.

Which is why it hurt so much. Sexuality wasn't something he pondered on, it was just something he knew, a part of himself wouldn't still be here if he'd bottled it up forever. So he let it simmer, never fully cracking the lid, open just enough that he wasn't choking down emotions when he saw Simon. He knew he loved him, would do anything for the man, taking a bullet in the line of fire was something on that list. He'd do it without hesitation, but with him too afraid to speak his feelings, he wouldn't ever know if Simon felt the same way.

He'd do anything for the man, and he did. He took that bullet for him. Only thing he couldn't do, was be honest before his chance was taken from him. Looking back on it, Soap knew he was just the same as the people telling him to hide himself away. He was back to being Johnny, a little kid afraid to find out why he felt like this. Why he felt so.. wrong when people would coo over how cute he looked with a girl. He internalized it until it hurt to so much as look at Simon.

So he's glad the man he saw before he died was Ghost.