WIP Wednesday
thanks to @elskanellis for the tag. please enjoy my extremely in progress Stucky MCU AU in which they work in the White House Situation Room.
Bucky slid his phone from his pocket, trying to subtly see what was happening.
Natasha has added Bucky to TEAM ROMANOV GROUPCHAT
Bucky: what
why are you texting me
Natasha has added Stark to TEAM ROMANOV GROUPCHAT
Stark: And we need a groupchat...why?
Bucky: what is happening right now
you are sitting three feet behind me
you could hit me with a jelly bean from there
Stark: Oh now you've done it.
Sure enough, something small hit the back of his head with a surprising amount of force. Bucky jerked his head forward, glancing toward Hill’s office to see if she was watching before turning around to glare at Tash. Her face was pleasant and neutral, as if she was expecting him to ask a quick question, rather than knowing he was pissed because she’d just assaulted him with candy. He mouthed, “fucking OW!” and she raised a single eyebrow at him.
Bucky: that was not an invitation Tash
Stark: Wait, why are you both first names and I’m Stark?
I can’t change it.
Why can’t I change it?
Romanov what the fuck did you do?
Natasha:
Stark: I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.
A BITMOJI my god.
Bucky: ok seriously tho why are we in here
Natasha: Because, children, I have RUMINT.
Bucky: oooooo
Natasha: Guess who just picked up one of Jane’s shifts?
Jane, who may I remind everyone, is on Team Rogers?
Bucky: wait that’s not rumint
i did
that’s not interesting
Stark: OH HO HO
AU CONTRAIRE MON AMI
Bucky: what are you french now?
Stark: This is VERY interesting.
Thank you beloved SDO for sharing this very interesting information.
Natasha:
Stark: Please stop, you're embarrassing yourself.
Bucky: what
why is this interesting?
everyone picks up shifts from jane
because she’s insane and she’s getting her phd while working 24x7
if we didn’t pick up shifts they’d always be short on that team
Natasha: Are you really going to play dumb, James?
Bucky: why are you being weird about this
tony picked up one of jane’s shifts last week
there was no groupchat
Natasha: True, but Stark is not crushing on Jane’s SDO.
Tony: Yeah I’m saving myself for Ms. Pepper Potts.
Natasha:
Tony: Why.
Why, Romanov.
Natasha: You have a loose definition of “saving yourself,” but fine.
Bucky: wait you think I’m crushing on steve?
steve ROGERS?
Natasha: No.
Bucky: okay GOOD but then why did you
Natasha: I know you’re crushing on Steve Rogers.
Stark: Walked into that one Buckaroo.
Natasha:
Stark: Okay STOP with those things.
You have never made that expression in your life.
Bucky couldn’t stop himself from frowning at his phone, despite the fact that the phone could not see it and Actual Tash, who was in the room with him, also could not see it. How on earth had she gotten this deeply wrong idea? Rogers was cute but was so square that he might as well have been made of stone. Also: straight.
Bucky: i’m not crushing on steve ROGERS
Natasha:
Stark: Or that one!
You’ve never made ANY expression that I’m aware of.
Bucky: it’s DISTURBING that you would think that
Natasha:
Stark: STOP DOING THAT
I CAN SEE YOU
YOU ARE COMPLETELY STONE FACED RIGHT NOW
Bucky: i mean the man has a spectacular ass
but he’s straight
also I’m not interested
even if he wasn’t straight
which he is
Natasha:
Stark: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
A small sound came from his right, and Bucky looked over to find Tony had knocked his headset off the desk, apparently while actually throwing his hands into the air in distress. He was sputtering and beginning to turn red. Bucky glanced nervously at Hill’s window again and looked away just as she lifted her head to look out at the WHSR floor, specifically at the group desk where they all sat.
Bucky: okay Tash maybe dial it back
Hill just looked out at us
Natasha: So your position is you have no interest in becoming more closely acquainted with Steve’s ass?
Bucky: i don’t have a position in that i have never given it any thought
but yes
not interested
Stark: Heads up here comes Hill.
Bucky slid his phone back into his pocket just as Hill approached the ledge in front of the group desk.
