Ive been thinking about a lot of stuff with supernatural and i think the thing that has been sending me the most, is the fact that Dean grew up knowing he had no future, and he tried so hard for Sam to have a future, but still felt betrayed that he would try for that future. And like just like in general Dean's abandoment issues, and how much Cas' last sacrifice was just like the final act of Dean's everyome i love leaves me and they chose to leave me even if, or because, they love him. Sorry if this isnt supper coherent
no need for coherency in my askbox or while talking abt spn, dw. we are all just waving our arms and yelling.
and god, yeah, my kneejerk reaction to cas' confession was "jesus that’s mean" and i stand by that because. it was! what’s dean supposed to do with that! would’ve been one thing if show had reunited them, especially if that reunion was dean's idea, but as it is in canon it is just. dean's absolute worst fear realised. even the people who love you the most it is possible to love someone will leave you!!! what a fucking thing to do to your protagonist!!!
i have a LOT of feelings also about how dean's Whole Deal is making sacrifices so sam doesn’t have to, and not quite resenting sam for it, because sam didn’t ask, but resenting that sam doesn’t understand just how much it cost dean. but also going to extreme lengths to make sure sam doesn’t know just how much it cost dean. and not being able to do anything with that resentment, either, because he knows damn well it isn’t fair or deserved, so he just. sits with it. and then it festers.
like god. yeah. everyone's canon arc sucks now but dean did really get the worst deal.
