#whythehelldoidothistomyself

[winchesterlegacies]

We're setting fire to our insides for fun.        Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home,    It was a flood that wrecked this home. (x)

[winchesterlegacies]

People talk about his smile.

Jess used to say it lit up the room and Dean laughs about the way he uses those damn dimples, once joked that Sam could do some damage if he ever used them for evil, but when Sam looks in the mirror he doesn't get it, he just sees lips and teeth and skin.

But Dean, that's different, he has that cocky smile, you know the one, the one that says I-know-I'm-awesome-you-don't-need-to-tell-me and more often than not that's directed at Sam. There's the sexual one, that one's laced with innuendo and nothing but an invitation and much to Sam's dismay that never seems to come his way. The grimace hurts the most, that smile that Dean wears through the pain, the one he thinks Sam can't see through when in truth Dean's an open book to him, still Sam humours him. Smug though, that's Sam's least favourite, that settles on Dean's lips, all mister-high-and-mighty and Sam often wants to wipe it from his face in frustration. It's such a contradiction to Dean's smile that breaks out from laughter, that one's the most infectious, spurs Sam to grin from ear to ear in return. 

Then there's the one that Dean saves for when Sam isn't looking, the smile full of affection and wonder and I-can't-believe-he's-still-sitting-right-there-next-to-me and Sam loves that one the most even if he only ever catches the briefest of glimpses of it.

People talk about his smile and Sam sees nothing but Dean's.

[winchesterlegacies]

Sam can't remember a time when he didn't love Dean.

It started with the innocent devotion of a boy looking up to his brother, of gentle hands and soft lullabies that would ease him to sleep when the bad things came, of a child wide-eyed and in awe of walking side-by-side with his hero.

It grew into the easy tumble of half-hearted insults and juvenile pranks, of affectionate punches and breath-heaving side-aching laughter and it lost just a little of that innocence of childhood.

Somewhere along the line the secrets started, and the words they both meant to say, the ones that they both think the other knows, those truths got buried beneath so many lies until they became twisted beyond recognition until all that innocence was gone, scrubbed out like it never even existed.

Sometimes when they lie in the darkness that Sam used to be so afraid of, when he hears the quiet steady breathing of Dean's sleep, he'll let those secrets out. And for a few minutes that innocent love of brothers is alive in the silence that seems to stretch between them these days.

Sam doesn't remember a time when he didn't love Dean. And if that's all he ever has, it's okay, it's all he needs.

[winchesterlegacies]

Only then can I awake, direct my own arrow.

[winchesterlegacies]

Hey So I'm home and in one piece and apparently very brown. WOOP.

How's everyone been? What did I miss?

[winchesterlegacies]

definitely. I'm pretty honoured you're trusting me enough with it. I'd just pretty much go 'asdfghjkl help cute' all over it though.

And I will smush your face in return okay! I value your opinion on fic alot okay, because you always rec me the best! :D

[winchesterlegacies]

you know how awesome that idea is? I can just see Jensen writing odes in his head to Jared's hair texture and the colours in his hair in the sun and his fingers itching to stroke and find out the hair texture and OHMYGOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IWANTTHIS

Ha! Right, I was sat in the hairdressers like it is not normal for me to be fixating on this, and then I went home and started writing it, I've written like 1k already which I know isn't much but hey gotta start somewhere, if I ever finish it will you look it over? give me your opinion.

[abrocados]

wow your blog makes me want to do something really creative and cheerful, something mad like hunting down all the resource masterposts ever made on tumblr and clicking on each and every link and doing those things. Your blog is really really really dangerous. And awesome.

i hope you succeed in your mission, young hero. my faith lies with you.

and thank you for that message <3