TV WIG REVIEW: GAME OF THRONES SEASON 7
I know this review is a little late but such is life during the golden age of television! Also yes - Winter is Here - and there are family reunions and huge battles and zombies and incest, oh my, but nothing much has changed as far as wigs are concerned. These are still THE VERY WORST WIGS ON TV. Let’s discuss:
WIG THAT CANNOT, WILL NOT GROW OUT OF IT: CERSEI
In this season especially, time seems to move slower or faster depending on plotlines, and yet Cersei’s terrible Rosemary’s Baby cut remains the same. I mean how long has it been since her public shaming?!?! She should have hair at least as long as Stranger Things’ Eleven by now, right? Or is she purposefully cultivating this lewk? These are some of the biggest questions on this show - I know.
NEW ENTRY FOR WORST WIG: SANSA
Sansa USED to have some of the best hair on the show since it was her own, but this season, Sophie Turner decided to suffer no fools (in the form of dying and stylin’ her hair) so we must suffer through ANOTHER TERRIBLE DRIED OUT FRIZZY UNIFORMED RINGLET WIG. DAMMIT. Also do you think they sell that necklace at Hot Topic? Asking for myself.
WIG THAT DEFINITELY NEEDS A HAT: THE HOUND
I mean...shouldn’t they all be wearing hats beyond the wall?? This wig would definitely be easier on the eyes (to say nothing of those facial burns) if it were entirely covered by a hat, just sayin’.
WIG TO BE MANSPLAINED TO: GILLY
Gilly’s ratty ass, dried up tumbleweave of a wig made a rare appearance this season to read some old books and dig up a super important plot point, only to be mansplained to by Sam (who, I guess, did ultimately listen to her but totally took credit for the info. SIGH).
Das Spider actually has a full head of hair! So I will throw him a bone and say that this non-wig is the best wig on the damn show.
STILL AND ALWAYS THE MOTHER OF BAD WIGS: DANY
Margaery and early Cersei gave her a run for her money for the crown of worst wig on this show of horrible wigs, but Dany is still the queen mother of worst wigs. Her braidology is getting more complex this season but the terrible curl uniformity remains the same and now we have some DAMN TENDRILS that are giving me horrible acid flashbacks to late-90s proms. NO NO NO NO NO.
I understand that basically all the budget for the show goes to frozen location scouting, whoever gives Peter Dinklage his highlights, and zombie dragons, but still: give these wigs some damn coinage! Maybe, just maybe, they’ll get their act together for the final season. See you in 2019!
