Whumpmas In July - "Something's Wrong"
Summary:
Koya is not a fan of the fact that his "therapist" has no credentials and is reporting directly to his boss. Thankfully his rival Hareta is also open for talking.
Notes:
This is like doodling, but it’s writing. If it’s kinda bad, I don’t care. I love Koya. (Some of my earliest fandom memories are looking up “[favorite character] dies, fanfiction bloody,” and Koya was one of those guys I looked that up for, if you want a clue about how not normal I am about him) Oh also, if it was not clear, do NOT LIKE GOING TO THERAPY. Congrats if you do, but it is not for me, and I felt like giving Koya some of that today. XD Do what works for you, not what others say or whatever. Blah blah blah. Oh yeah also this is randomly Yuujoushipping. I like them a lot okay. Warnings: Disliking therapy, kinda upsetting job situation, maybe kinda a mess to read I couldn't bear to edit properly. Words: 3,054
Fic also under the cut and on the same scratch discuss page as sometimes linked in other posts. @whumpmasinjuly-archive
”How are you feeling today?“ The man asked.
Koya sighed and let his face fall into his hands. He didn't really want to answer that. It was bad enough that the International Police had decided to institute a mandatory questioning as a part of the day, but even worse that “Agent Handsome” had to be the one to do it. He didn't want to be in here, he wanted to be out there! Fighting crime, making a name for himself, hanging out with his friends!
But he knew he had to be truthful to get it over quickly, so he looked up at Looker. The man's sharp face was set in a frown, but Koya knew that his own was no different. The worries that his superior directed at him never did much to make him feel good about himself.
“I'm feeling alright,” he said slowly, sure to be careful so that he didn't end up lying about something and stuck in the stupid therapy session any longer than he absolutely had to. ”But I don't see why this is necessary for my job.“
He kept the bite out of his voice, remaining calm and questioning, as if his words were a ligament concern and not anger. But Looker only sighed, clearly seeing through to Koya's true reasoning for questioning him.
The brown haired man put down his notebook, and Koya was able to see a not very good doodle of himself before the more experienced agent closed the book. ”As police officers,“ Looker was saying, ”and as Pokemon trainers, we see many things that can make a person worry about the world, you know just as well as I that talking to someone is a good way to deal with the things that we are forced to see.“
He said it matter-a factly, but Koya already knew all of that. (He had already been delt his fair share of trauma, after all.) Still, Koya wanted to get out of here. Sure, maybe talking to people like them helped people like Looker, if they truly believed that it could, but Koya didn't want any part of it. He wanted to talk to Hareta, he wanted to talk to Mitsumi, heck, he'd even talk to Jun! Just so long as the person with the clipboard wasn't someone in charge of his earnings and employment status.
”I know that,“ Koya said, still trying to sound calm, even though his mind was rushing to skirt around the sadness that Looker was trying to get him to open up about.
Looker tilted his head and waited, but Koya did not add anything else, so he just sighed again, reopening his notebook and scribbling something down at the top of a clean page. Koya grimaced, this was not boding well for his career.
“I thought therapy had to be done by someone who couldn't fire you,” he muttered, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. His turtleneck bit around his throat, and he had a sudden and uncharacteristic urge to loosen it.
“I can't fire you,“ Looker said calmly, even though it should have been pretty clear that Koya didn't mean to speak loud enough to be heard, ”Besides, it's team building, and we could always use more of that around here.“
Koya mumbled something about that not being what he meant, but Looker didn't respond. (Maybe this time he actually hadn't heard him.) They sat in silence, and Koya found himself suddenly deep in thought. No, not about the unfairness about being put into something he couldn't care less about, not right then anyhow.
He was thinking about the true reason for his annoyance.
Hareta.
His rival, that mysterious boy from the forest. Someone who seemed to see the good in everyone, but refused to even contemplate the bad. Someone who, despite his want to protect everyone in the world, had absolutely zero interest in anything related to the police. Someone whose father was on the run. Someone who would be more likely to break a criminal out of jail than to help put them in. Someone who always gave second, third, and even fourth chances, so strong was his belief in the good of the world. But yet, he was also someone who knew when someone was beyond saving, and someone who would endanger his own life to save art made by people and societies long since dead.
Hareta was someone who cared about everyone and everything, even as he enjoyed the thrill of Pokemon battles and the adventurous life of a trainer. He was someone admirable, and he was someone Koya could not find similarity with, even after he had been reunited with his dear Growlithe.
But despite the differences between Hareta and himself, Koya couldn't help but feel interested in a little more than just his rival's world views when he thought about him. For example, did he ever comb his hair? And if not, could Koya help him out with it some time? Or, as another example, how much weight could he lift? (And, from that, how easily could he pick Koya up?)
Koya felt his face redden, and he quickly leaned over to adjust the fold of his sock. This was not the place to be thinking about Hareta! Looker may not be trained as a therapist, but he absolutely was trained in noticing little things about a person's demeanor! The rest of the International Police had gone long enough without finding out about the details of Koya's attraction, and he was pretty dang keen on keeping it that way.
“Koya?” Asked Looker, prompting Koya to sit up with a very fake look of interest on his face, “Are you alright?”
“Oh yes,” Koya said, scrambling through his mind in an attempt to find a good excuse, “I just remembered an old battle I had sir, nothing to worry about,”
Looker nodded understandingly, but scribbled a note down in his notebook as if Koya couldn't see him. “Is it anything you'd want to talk about?” he stared at Koya earnestly, “If it has something to do with your Growlithe, we would love to hear any lingering problems you may be having.”
Koya forced a cordial smile, but internally he was pretty sure that the entire situation he was in sounded far from allowed. Or, at least, it shouldn’t be. ”No sir,“ he said calmly, ”It's not about Growlithe, your phrasing simply reminded me of an announcer in the League, that's all.”
Looker studied him for a moment longer, but soon nodded and scribbled something out of his notes. Koya let out a quiet sigh of relief. He didn't want his salary impacted by this, but even less so by something that hadn't even actually been on his mind. While his history with Growlithe did, admittedly, still bother him from time to time, it wasn't anything that he couldn't talk out with an actual friend, or even just think through by himself.
No matter how much Koya disliked talking about his feelings in a situation like this, he could quite enjoy the experience if it was with one of his trainer friends, rather than a superior in the police force. Jun always took a chance to defend his strength in battle, Mitsumi could relate to many parts of his response to his traumatic past, and Hareta...
Koya scrunched up his nose in an effort to keep the blush off his face. No. Not again. Not when he was just getting out of the questioning. Didn't the part of his brain responsible for his blushing understand that his attraction to Hareta could still get him demoted in most regions? Was it even on his side?!
“If we're done here,” Koya started, hoping he was more successful in his attempts not to blush than his face felt like, “I have some training to do oft of base,” he gestured to the door, and gave Looker his best convincing smile, “I'm sure you'd understand..?“
Looker glanced at the clock, studied Koya's expression for a few moments, and then slowly nodded. Koya pushed his chair back casually, even though he felt quite like running out of the room and far from the building, but was forced to pause as Looker spoke. “I do understand Koya,” he said sounding slightly apologetic, “Trust me, it's more common than you might think for someone to be opposed to the therapy idea in their first session, but I hope you can find the positives in this work by the time of your next appointment.”
Koya wanted to scream at him that he would probably be alright with the therapy if it wasn't for the fact that whatever he said was being relayed to his bosses at the top of the chain, but he knew that would probably get him called back into the room, so he just nodded and smiled. “Of course sir,” he said, walking backwards out the door, but already reaching for his Metagross, “I'm sure I will.”
As soon as the door was closed, however, Koya began to speed walk down the hallway, immediately losing all of the composure that he had managed to keep in that room. His mind was a blur, switching between worries and worrying wonders as he raced for the door. Once he was outside, he was pretty sure that the fresh air would fix whatever was currently causing a hairball in his mind, so he was quite hurried to get out there.
No matter how much he had told himself that it was alright that he liked Hareta (you know, like that), it always seemed hard to feel true to his own mind. With ranks of his job filled with people who would like nothing less than to get him kicked out, and people on the streets who would rather a queer person dead in a training accident than coming second in the league, it didn't feel safe by himself in times like this.
Oh yes.
Koya had come second in the league.
Somehow, as he exited the final circulating door and called his Metagross to attention, Koya found his brain stalling on that more than any of the more serious things that it could be. Hareta had defeated him, in the end. Even with his strange team structure, self sacrificing values, and not barely any mind to injuries inflicted in battle, Hareta had beat him.
He was too wild to predict. A wrench in Koya's plans in more ways than one. First, he messed up Koya's battle philosophy by the connections he had with his Pokemon, then he was related to one of the people Koya had been tasked with, then, despite everything, he had saved Koya's Growlithe when Koya could not. And now, with his shining tangled hair and short muscled legs, Koya felt his face heating up just thinking about talking to him.
How could a boy born with the wild nature of a Pokemon in his own right, have captured the heart of the strong and logic based trainer that Koya knew he himself was. They were like night and day, and their jobs, world views, Pokemon teams, and nearly everything else reflected this, but still... Koya could not help but love him.
He could not help but love the person who managed to distract him every mission, who outwardly encouraged letting major leaders of Team Galactic have more chances that could be counted, who was so strong in his own wildness to have befriended Girithia itself. Hareta was everything Koya was not, and when things like today's “therapy” session made Koya feel so little, that seemed to suggest that Hareta was everything to him.
“Metagross, bring me to Professor Rowan’s Lab,” Koya muttered, hopping on top of the large metallic Pokemon as it lifted into the air. Everything felt wrong, but still, Koya found himself seeking out the source of his troubles, because with him, everything seemed right.
He was weird that way.
Maybe it was the wild nature of Hareta that made Koya’s heart soar, or maybe it was the bravery and determination that he took with him through all occurrences. His incredible battling skills, the tension that sparked between their every differing opinion, a caring heart that could be matched by no other. Koya worried that, if he thought about it any longer, he would find himself admitting that he had a crush on Hareta, or something immature like that.
He tapped a hand on the side of his head to clear the thoughts. The day was already messed up enough, there was no way he needed his meeting with Hareta to be any more awkward than what he already had in mind. After the unfairness that was the most recent move towards team building in the International Police, Koya felt like he needed someone who he could actually argue with. Someone that he could bounce ideas off of that wasn’t the man responsible for reporting his abilities up to the boss.
Someone who was wild. Someone who cared.
And, as Koya had clearly already decided, Hareta was just that person for him.
His mind swirled with thoughts as Metagross sped towards the lab. Was the International Police’s innerworkings even something he was legally allowed to talk about? If it was, what would he talk about when he got to Hareta? That is, if Hareta even cared about rules of that sort. (Which Koya knew he didn’t.) In fact, Koya was so busy thinking that he hardly even noticed as Metagross floated down to its resting height outside of the lab. Truthfully, he was so deep in thought that he only realized he was already at his destination when someone small and warm tackled him to the ground off of his Pokemon.
“Koya!” yelled Hareta joyfully as the two of them rolled across the ground, “I didn’t know you’d be coming over!”
Koya blinked rapidly and struggled to sit up, fighting a growing blush as Hareta continued to cling to him even as he lay on top of him in the grass. “It wasn’t really all that planned,” he managed, pushing Hareta off of him and recalling Metagross as smoothly as he could given the circumstances.
“Just felt like seeing me?” Asked Hareta happily, springing to his feet as if the bruising strength with which he had tackled Koya had not bothered him even a little bit, “Awh, Koya!”
Koya felt his ears heat up as Hareta giggled and did a cute little twirl, but he couldn’t deny that what he said was true. He really had come here to see him, with absolutely zero planning. (Something that Koya liked to imagine was fairly out of character for a strategy based trainer such as himself. Impulsive decisions were not supposed to be his cup of tea.)
Hareta stopped twirling as he seemed to recognize that Koya was not denying his assumption. He gasped and seemed to physically hold himself back from tackling Koya once more. “Really?!”
Koya grimaced as he struggled to his feet. “Yeah, has it really been that long since I’ve seen you?” But even as he said it, he knew that it was true. The two rivals had barely seen each other since Hareta had turned down a job in the police, and Koya suddenly realized how much that span of time had been missing without his trusty rival.
Hareta laughed like he thought Koya was crazy. “Maybe I really would have joined you guys if I’d known how much time you’d be spending at that job of yours.” (But, as any sane person would, he said it like the very idea of dropping his freedom for a gig putting people in jail was the really crazy part.)
“Ugh,” Koya groaned, “don’t even think about it.”
Hareta calmed down slightly and tilted his head. His dark eyes caught the light for a second and Koya was momentarily reminded that they both had green eyes. That was unlikely wasn’t it? “Why not think about it?” Hareta asked, reading through him instantly, “Something wrong?”
Koya remembered the way Looker had scribbled on his paper and imagined the looks on his supervisor’s faces when they read them. Indifference? Some kind of dislike for the way he was so clearly lying? A visible want to get rid of him? He wanted to tell Hareta that nothing was wrong. He had already spent all that time thinking about how much he hated having to tell people his feelings, but the truth was that he really only hated being at the mercy of someone with more power than him. Hareta was powerful, but they were rivals for a reason (and besides, Koya did want to get closer to him, no matter how much the way he shook off his blushes said he didn’t). He sighed and nodded.
“Oh,” said Hareta, completely lacking tact as always, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Koya looked at him.
Really looked at him.
Hareta was nice, probably nicer than he should be, but he also liked to make fun of people when they were down sometimes. He was Koya’s friend, but they’d really only been friends for a little while now and besides, Hareta insisted that practically everyone he met was his friend. He was pretty for sure, but based on Looker alone Koya knew that that wasn’t a marker of being a good person to talk to. (Though, of course, he much preferred Hareta’s uncombed hair and strange fashion sense to his boss.)
But despite all those contradictions, Hareta was a good person. He’d talked Mitsumi down from a much darker place than Koya was now, he’d befriended the literal chaos god just because he was so nice. He was really amazing.
Koya decided that he wouldn’t mind telling him what was wrong. Maybe he wouldn’t even mind telling him a bit more. (Arcues knew there was stuff to talk about.) The blush from his thinking earlier returned with a vengeance, and he nodded as his answer. Hareta did a celebratory jump into the air, seemed to remember the seriousness of the situation, and apologized by doing a second, slightly less smiley one. Koya, face still red, smiled back.
Talking with Hareta was definitely much better than talking with Looker.
Notes:
Comments very appreciated!!! Thank you for reading if you did! Also bros who know my time zone do not worry about how late I'm posting this. (Both in date for the prompt and in time because golly gosh for both.)
