#wildethoughts

[wildesights]

do you ever write something so perfect with almost zero editing or effort that you worry nothing you ever create again will be as good. holy shit.

[wildesights]

this man is going to end me

“i’d have you biting your pillow and thanking the universe you’re a woman” 🥵🫠 are. you. joking. me. this literally had me begging for it. i need it. i need that. i still need it. i don’t know what it is about him but holy fucking fuck. followed by “i just want to unload into you” and “to hold on until i just can’t bear it” 😳 which are three of the hottest things i have ever heard anyone say. i know those last two are kind of universal but it was the tone. them being said in his voice. the knowing of the intention. no one has ever treated me the way the poet has. it’s unmatched. by anything i have ever experienced. and, not just for this reason, but i am in love with him. i love him. holy shit.

[wildesights]

im so fucking beyond cooked.

tell me why i just wrote 6 pages in my journal about how badly i need the poet… while im in my period. either my hormones are SEVERELY fucked or i am really that deep in it

[wildesights]

hmm. woowoo shit, i guess.

i asked for a sign that i was on the right path with the poet by showing me an orange flower. pictured clearly in my mind it was like a orange daisy. tell me why i saw a whole garden of them yesterday just hours after asking.

now i’m worried that what the universe considers the right path and what i consider the right path may not be aligned. lol.

fuck.

[wildesights]

lol. uh oh. i’m in trouble.

i think intense eye contact is a turn on for me. i don’t know how or why because i can’t hold eye contact to save my life but thinking about eye contact with the poet has me 😳

[wildesights]

fuck

peer pressured into putting my tree up today because my parents are still in town with their car in the shop. my partner didn’t even seem interested in doing ornaments together this year. i basically had to force him. and then he left before i was done to get on a hours long phone call that he is still on!

so now i’m mentally taking stock of all the christmas things i’m going to take when i leave this horrid place. i’ve been doing that for months now but the christmas stuff was the last thing. and i’m thinking i’m taking all of it. that was the small thing that always meant a lot and he didn’t even seem to care. so.

[wildesights]

soskdnfbchjxnns i am so. just.

literally the only thing to cure me right now would be for him to actually rearrange my insides. like. i need him in the most unhinged obscene way possible. i want him to rail me into a new consciousness. i want to watch his hips snap against mine. i want to feel the small of his back as he ravages me. i want his lips on every inch of my skin. i want to worship literally every inch of his cock with my mouth and make eye contact while i do it. i think i could come close with that alone. i want to hear the sounds he makes when i go down on him. that would finish me off for sure. i get so much pleasure out of giving pleasure and HEARING it. just imagining the sounds i could wring out of him 🥵 and the sounds i would make while giving him head. and hearing him finish. i’m literally parched of him. i need him so badly.

[wildesights]

i’m gonna go insaaaaannneeeeee.

this man i swear to god. i want him in the worst way. tell me why. tell me the fuck why he would respond to a selfie with “god i’m in love”. tell me WHY when i say i was thinking the same thing about him that i don’t hardly hear from him for like 15 dayyyyssss. tell me whyyy????? fuck. i’m doing my best not to be a needy little anxiously attached girl but damnit. he is so avoidant and i hateeeee it. but i really like him. and after my marriage where i basically didn’t have autonomy or personhood outside of “us” it’s kind of refreshing.

in other news. i’m going to be dramatic and say that he hasn’t sent me a selfie in a bit (not one where i can see his eyes) and i could cry. i just want him to call me babe or love and i want his lips on me. everywhere. until I’m breathless and begging 😇