A/N: With this this little serial is 60% done! I have two parts left – none as action packed as this, they're mostly fluff, but hey, who doesn't love fluff? This one is the continuation of Seeing Red, as you can tell from the title.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (You are here!) | Part 4 | Part 5
Request: Continuation of @writers-block0o0's request!
Navigation: Masterlist is here.
Taglist: @writers-block0o0, @imaginesbyemma. Tell me if you want to be added.
Summary: Serving as a member of the Trinity – which, ironically enough, contains four people – you're dragged into things you never wanted to do under your half-brother. Soon it gets to be too much.
Warnings: Okay! This one is pretty intense. Matches and gasoline with implication that they're to be used for arson. Language – the word “asshole”, “asshat”, “ass”, twice “shit”, and “damn”. Use of God's name in vain, guns, gun fire, blood, violence, unhealthy family relationships, and slight PTSD. Angst. Really all-in-all just bad.
Word Count: 3,000
Other Notes: Female reader, and also, this one takes place during Terminal. J'espère que vous l'aimerez – I hope you'll like it! I wrote this really damn fast but I think it's good. I ALSO FORGOT SOME CRUCIAL PLOT DETAILS IN THE ORIGINAL DRAFT FORGIVE ME IF YOU CATCH ANYTHING WEIRD.
“There's a reason Cole sounds like asshole,” you grumbled to Chance as he drove you to another infuriating, obscure location for another infuriating, meaningless job.
He nodded. “He's not the most stellar, personality-wise.”
“Understatement of the century.”
“Live with it, Y/N.”
He parked, and you got out of the car, wincing as the Trinity member's wolf whistle met your ears.
You chanced a glance at your brother, wondering what his reaction would be.
“She's taken, asshat,” bit out the older Claybourne, eyes flashing.
“Doesn't mean I can't admire the only good thing your father's made.”
Exasperated, you stalked across the grass to Cole, grabbing him roughly by his shirt collar.
“Mmmmm, you're a woman with-”
Whatever he was about to say, you would never know, because your fist meeting his face effectively silenced his next words.
“Damn, no need for violence,” he muttered, rubbing his cheek with a scowl.
“Compliment me again and I'll be sure I flare before I hit you,” you threatened with a smile, relishing the horror that his expression morphed to show.
That aside, you begrudgingly got to work.
You wished that was the worst thing you had ever had to do.
You would be wrong.
“I can't do this. Don't make me do this.”
Backed into a corner, you knew that you had no choice.
What would Chance do if you didn't obey? It didn't matter what he did to you.
If you didn't go along with this, your best friends in the world could die.
But if you did, they would be devastated.
“Take the car. There's gasoline and matches in there. Don't crash it.”
You winced, not sure whether his concern was for you or for the car. “Okay. I'll do it.”
“I'll take care of Tory. Make it quick.”
And with that, he placed the car keys in your hand and left through the front door.
“This isn't legal,” you murmured, before making your way to where the car was parked and unlocking the door. “This isn't right.”
“This isn't what I signed up for.”
But if it was what it took…
It was difficult to be inconspicuous when you had to reach the island by boat while carrying flammables, but you had managed.
It was difficult to find again the bunker, especially in the dark, but that you had also managed.
Dousing the belongings of your best friends in the world with gasoline after they had taken you into their secret hangout spot and shown you how significant it was to them?
Something it was proving exceedingly difficult for you to manage.
Taking your phone out of your pocket, your finger hovered over the names in your contacts, wanting nothing more than to talk to someone.
You couldn't call Tory. That would have been your first bet, but she was with Chance, if he was to be believed.
Hi's name had a heart next to it, and you smiled lightly, before having the happiness fall from your face as you realized that he would be the last person you'd want to see you like this, no matter the reason.
Ella wouldn't understand. She'd just do it herself.
Chance? Never.
Ben would be less understanding than Ella. He'd never forgive you if he-
“Y/N?”
You whipped around to the source of the noise, the matchbox tumbling from your grip and your phone almost joining it.
“Ben, I can ex-”
“You're in the bunker. Alone.”
Shit.
“Again, I can-”
“You have a match box.”
“Ben, I-”
“You're one of them.”
He crossed the room, the way he stalked silently reminding you of a predator as he closed in.
“It's not what you think.”
The laugh that escaped Ben's lips was harsh, cutting the thick air and slicing through to your heart. “You know what? I get it.”
“Wh-what?”
“You wanted to be something more. You wanted to be special. So you decided to do something you knew was wrong to be seen as a hero when you fixed it.”
“That's not it at all!” you retorted. “I didn't have a choice.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? I don't exactly see anyone here forcing you to try and burn down the bunker.”
“It wasn't my fault!” you cried frantically.
Quieter, you repeated the words, trying to convince yourself that they were true.
Hoping that they were true, because that was the only thing holding you together.
“He did this to me.”
“Who?”
“He's the one who made me this.”
“Y/N. Who is he?”
“He did this to me! My own brother!”
He didn't get it. Of course not.
“He made me this monster.”
SNAP
Your emotions spiraling out of control, your discipline over your flare finally gave way, your more alert red-eyed gaze catching how Ben's resolve seemed to shatter just from examining his face.
“Monster?” he repeated, a rare tinge of pain accenting the word.
Footsteps pounded from outside, and the two of you turned, red eyes telling you who it was before the rest registered.
Shit.
“I thought my instructions were clear.”
“I'm sorry,” you whispered. “Where's-?”
“I trusted you.”
“They're my friends! They're my family. Not that you'd know what that means.” Feelings suppressed for so long came to the surface, the bottle of emotion suddenly spilling over. “They love me. You never did. If you loved me, you wouldn't have made me-”
Wouldn't have forced me to go against the people who actually do love me, you wanted to finish, but he started to reach for a bulge at his hip, the gun he pulled out one you could never have prepared for. “You've left me no choice.”
Chance's face blurred into that of the Gamemaster, your memory of the experience and the gun he had held to your head resurfacing as panic set in.
You scrambled away from the person your traumatized mind tried to convince you was the same psychopath who had done horrible things to you, reality becoming obscured with the fear setting into your system.
Pulse racing, you blinked rapidly, not able to fully comprehend what was happening, overwhelmed as your mind betrayed you.
A flash of red hair and a sharp crack of the gun had hardly registered before you were shoved to the ground.
Tory.
It was all moving too fast, too fast for it to register, too fast for you to come back to reality, too fast for you to do anything to stop what was happening.
Tory rolled off of you, clutching a hand to her arm as your eyes, now seeing clearly, sought out Chance to see if he had any remorse for what he had just done.
To see if there was any part of him that was still human.
He looked down at the gun in his hand, something seeming to shift in his expression, and then his gaze flicked to the red starting to bloom on Tory's sleeve.
With his flare now gone, the pain in his eyes was no longer obscured.
I didn't want it to come to this, his expression seemed to say, as he cast away the gun as if it were a snake.
You couldn't help but wonder if he'd have had the same reaction to having realized he had shot you.
“I'll kill you,” hissed Ben, alerting you to the presence you had almost forgotten, anger making its presence known in the baring of his teeth, the narrowing of his eyes, the way his entire posture had shifted.
But Chance was silent, as if accepting his fate.
Something inside him had broken, and you could only hope that it was the part of him that had stopped being human.
“Let's go, Y/N.”
He left the room without another word, taking your following him for granted.
You didn't follow.
“Are you okay, Tory?” you asked quietly, the smell of blood flooding your nostrils.
She smiled painfully. “Superficial wound, really. I'll be fine. What's up with your eyes?”
Summoning the control you had fought so hard to gain, you released your flare.
SNUP
Concern took its place.
“We'll worry about that later. Are there bandages in here?”
Ben stole out of the room, coming back a moment later with a first aid kit.
“I've got her, Y/N. I… I think it might be best if you got home.”
I don't think I can bear it if you stay was what he didn't add. The lack of conviction in his voice scared you more than if he had yelled at you.
“I agree,” you replied, “but I'm not quite ready to go to a home with nothing between Chance and I.” You managed a smile. “Besides. I think we're going to have to take Tory's shirt off in order to treat this, and it's a little early in your relationship for you to see that, don't you think?”
Tory giggled at the look on his face. You couldn't blame her.
But it quickly returned to the serious expression that he wore so well as he nodded. “How are you getting home?”
You shrugged. “I'd say the same way I got here, but I'm assuming Chance took that.”
“Call me when you're done.”
Watching his shadow retreat, you turned back to Tory.
“I had no idea,” she said quietly, “that Chance was like that.”
You nodded as you pushed away her shaking hands, taking over the job of unbuttoning her shirt for her. “He's a complicated man.”
“He's been experimenting, hasn't he? And he dragged you into it?”
“Something of the sort,” you answered quietly, grimacing when the shirt started to stick, saturated with blood as it was. “Tell me if I'm hurting you.”
“How long have you been… like this?”
Infected, she doesn't say, because she seems to know it's like a plague to you.
“Remember when I puked in the toilet at school and you basically asked if I was pregnant?”
Her eyes widened in realization. “I should have seen it.”
“How could you have? There was nothing to suggest it was more than a flu, and besides, weren't you under the impression that it died with Karsten?”
“Chance flared in front of us, though. I should have known there would be others.”
You frowned. “He did?”
“You didn't know? That's why he's been spending so much time with us.”
“He has?”
Tory nodded, her eyes pained. “Recently, you've been drifting away. He's sort of filled in that gap – not that, not that he could ever replace you, but-”
“I get it.”
And get it you did.
All those missions that he'd sent you on, all those times stalking your friends and moving rocks and staking out territory.
All those interactions with Ella, having to ignore her hatred of Tory, with Will’s delusion that he was the leader and his pretending that Chance didn’t orchestrate all of the Trinity’s moves, with Cole’s comments on how “your brother's an ass and you've got a nice one, must run in the family”.
All those times you'd had to turn down invitations to hang out because of what had been planned.
Of course he'd have used it.
Of course he'd have gotten close to them.
He'd purposefully ripped out the stitching holding you into your friend group and sewn himself in with new threads weaved of lies and deceit.
Was it really to help them, or to get closer to the girl he was in love with?
You weren't sure you would ever know, nor that you wanted to.
Instead of letting the anger now forming beneath your skin rise to the surface, you funnelled the rage into focus as you dressed Tory's wound, seeing now that it was clean that the bullet had grazed her but not entered – shaving off the skin and making it look far worse than it was. You could handle this.
Thank God. After all, with your current state, it wasn't as if you could exactly take her to a hospital.
“Are you okay?”
You almost laughed at Tory's concern. “You got shot and you're asking me if I'm okay?”
“It's only physical, it'll heal,” she replied calmly. “You're finding out that your brother betrayed your trust and used you while simultaneously trying to replace you.”
“My trust? I've never trusted him. He's young. He's stupid. And until he realizes that, I won't give him the respect he thinks he deserves, simple as that.” You shrugged. “He's got a heart somewhere in there, I'm sure. He cares for me, his ambition just obscures it. And right now he's invested so much in one person that he's become less aware of others.”
You had never quite thought it through, but you found the words came easier than you would have expected, as if they’d been there all along.
“So it's… my fault,” she muttered.
“No,” you replied firmly. “You are what you love, not who loves you.”
“Deep.”
“It's a Fall Out Boy lyric.”
“Still deep.”
You pulled out your phone, smiling shyly to yourself. “You don't hate me?”
“Hate you? How could I hate you?” Tory laughed. “You're an awesome friend and I understand why you've been keeping this from us. We kept our flaring from you for the longest time. But you make us happy. You make Hi happy. Not that he's not constantly cheerful, but he's in love with you and you both want the same thing – to be loved and to be in love.”
“Deep.”
“It's a One Direction lyric.”
“Still deep.”
The two of you laughed as you dialled Ben, him picking up on the first ring.
“She'll live,” you announced as soon as you heard the ring fade.
“I'll be there in a minute.”
He hung up, leaving you in silence.
“So, I haven't talked to you in a while. Any juicy relationship gossip?”
She smirked. “Your brother is a good-”
“Shut up! Shut up!” You smacked her on the arm, laughing, time apart almost forgotten in the way you interacted.
At least she forgives me.
You could only hope that the rest of your friends could come to do the same.
“You control it really well.”
It had been awkwardly silent between you and Ben for the last few minutes, the boy you considered a brother obviously somewhat hurt by the fact that you had been keeping a secret from him, and his words surprised you.
“What?”
“Your flaring. You never lost control in front of us.”
You shrugged. “You guys just never made me mad enough.”
He chuckled lightly, the rare sound music to your ears.
“You must not have listened to Hi much recently, then. The man's running commentary is enough to make anyone homicidal.”
Ben was back, and you couldn't be more relieved that he was talking to you.
After all, when the man's coping strategy was “ignore until it goes away”, it demonstrated that he must have at least partially forgiven you.
“I didn't expect you to get it,” you confessed, wringing your hands in your lap.
“Please. I think I win the bad decisions that put my friends' lives in danger game.”
“I didn't put anyone's life in danger.”
“See? You're already losing.”
You laughed lightly at his bluntness, before asking, “Are you going to tell Hi?”
Ben exhaled loudly, turning away from you as he considered his response. “That's a tough question to answer. Is he going to see Tory's arm in the morning and ask what happened? Yes, he's too curious for his own damn good. Is Tory going to go into full detail and explain everything? That, I cannot say.”
He cast a side glance at you. “He's going to find out one way or another. Chance can't just hold on to the foolish idea that after that, we're not all going to know.
“The question is, are you ready to risk losing the love of your life by telling him this? Are you fully prepared to accept if he doesn't feel he can trust you any further and the two of you break up? Will you understand if he's hurt and keep your distance if he asks?”
Ben turned to look you in the eye. “I won't blame you if you avoid the problem. God knows I've done enough of it myself with Tory. I won't blame you if you stall so you're fully prepared for however he reacts. I won't blame you if you never say anything at all.” He shrugged. “I'm your friend no matter what. Even if I don't always act like it. And, quite frankly, I care about you too much for you to get hurt over this. Just because I get it doesn’t mean he will, much as he loves you.”
“Ben...” You didn't know how to react to his sudden shift in demeanor, so unrecognizable from his usual emotional detachment.
“Now mention that I said any of that and we're going to have a real problem.”
There was the Ben Blue you knew.
“Said any of what?”
“Exactly.”
Looking out on the gentle waves lit only by the moonlight, you felt everything, the weight of what you had done, catch up to you.
You would never approve of your own actions.
But at least you could accept them.
“I'm so tired,” you murmured to the salt water, leaning your head against the rail of Ben’s beloved Sewee.
You weren't sure how you'd face Hi in the morning, or how you could speak to Chance after what he'd done, and what he’d made you do - the wedge that he’d driven in between you and your friends, that you weren’t certain would ever be fully forgotten.
Meaningful thoughts blurred into meaningless words that started to overlap as you tuned in to the sounds of the boat's motor, adrenaline long gone from your system and your sleep deprivation catching up.
It wasn't long before you succumbed to the exhaustion, knowing that you were safe with Ben and, to be quite honest, relieved that you didn’t have to stay awake any longer.
