Im so extremely stressed right now woof! So I drew a goofy Susie to cheer me up.
Original image below cut + yapping
So stressed cant sleep. My heart is pounding, I am worried. It is hard to get my brain to stop wandering back into this circle. With time, I know it will pass. But right now sucks a little but at least I know the stress has a chance of ending soon. A non zero chance. And that is better than nothing!
Day 50: trying something out... this post is both a post about music and then turns into a VERY long discussion on why I see Hal and Dirk as two distinct individuals.
Here is the link to the song that I don't think many people know exist. Give it a listen. Hal deserves more songs.
[Image ID: Drawing by WINTERUMI. A musescore window is shown with Rumi's in progress composition. There is a pop up on the screen saying: "It seems as though you are trying to combine, or rather, unite, the melodies of the songs 'Unite Synchronization' and 'Hello, my name is Hal'. You appear to be struggling. Would you like some assistance?" The composition in the back has two piano parts and elements of the aforementioned two songs. If you look closely, on the left where it lists the palettes, the top two actually say 'Dailylilhal' and 'winterumi'. Hal is leaning on the pop up, grinning. Rumi's sona is in the bottom right corner, frowning at her computer which is sitting on her knees. End ID.]
ADDITIONAL CONTEXT BELOW THE CUT PLEASE DO READ IF YOU WANT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND!!!
This functions also as a partial explanation to why I classpected Hal as a Witch of Mind. (@aerosolsprite you ask and you shall receive! Tbh it strays a way a ways from what I intended to write about.) I have a lot more evidence but I'm not putting it in because it will take too long for the time that I have. And it all goes to support the same thing anyways so there isn't the need for 30 quotations for 1 point. I may make a separate post but for now, this one will do.
So on the 16th I discovered that there was an unreleased song for Hal. I forgot from whom I saw it from but it was on Tumblr and was within the past couple days. Thank you, random person, for posting this to the world. I don't understand how it is still so unknown after 14 years. Mind=blown. I cannot express how giddy I was. After listening, I wondered to myself how I could combine it with Unite Synchronization, a song synonymous with Dirk, since these two characters are so intertwined (and I had been meaning to remix/cover Unite Synchronization for a couple months now).
Well. Um.
They are a too different. The only similarity I can pick out is that they are in 4 4. That's it. US is in Eb major/C minor and HMNIH has too many accidentals for me to define it with one key. The structure of both songs is also quite different I've modified enough from Hal's song that I've created something new at this point. At the skill level I am, I don't think that I could combine them in a coherent and nice sounding way.
Here is an excerpt of what I have written so far, not actually featuring HMNIH. It contains elements of Unite Synch. and Showtime, in fact.
I don't know whether I will ever post a full version. Let me know if you want more.
Here is a link to the sheet musics of the two songs as a reference point.
Download and print in PDF or MIDI free sheet music of Unite Synchronization - Malcom Brown for Unite Synchronization by Malcom Brown arrange
Download and print in PDF or MIDI free sheet music for Piano, Bass guitar, Drum group, Strings group, Synthesizer (Mixed Ensemble)
They are so different. If I had heard Hal's song without knowing it was attributed to him, I'd probably have assumed it was tied to... I don't really know- one of the trolls. (Instinctively thought Kanaya but this is really not Kanaya.) But Hal/Dirk would definitely NOT have been on my list of suspects. And I saw a comment where someone headcanoned that this song was what Hal made in secret and encrypted it so that Dirk couldn't access it- I like this thought a lot!
...
The following many paragraphs diverge from my main point to answer the classpecting conundrum that I pondered for too long. The amount of space that Hal occupies in my brain is not ok. I guess this is what I get for starting a daily art blog of him but hey I'm not complaining.
The way that these two songs are so different can be loosely interpreted to show that while they may fundamentally be the same person (as they stem from the same origin), they really aren't. There is nothing linking one song to the other. (Time signature does not count.) Both have matured from 13 year old Dirk and they've definitely diverged from one another and develop into their own people. (I could've made a cool metaphor using a tree and branches and growing further apart but I chose not to because that would be distracting from the argument I am trying to make. Yet I chose to point this thought out.) I've seen some arguments that Hal is a static version of Dirk but frankly, I don't think we see enough of Hal to get a conclusive answer.
It is repeated enough times in the story that Hal and Dirk are the same person. Well, fine, I will reluctantly agree to that, only because it has happened enough times that I recall it distinctly.
But I believe that Hal is not simply just a copy of Dirk. Yes, they are the same in many ways. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree? But it isn't the tree itself; it is an apple. Another thing. (Thing is such an unelegant word. And would you look at that. I did a tree metaphor regardless. I really want to go deeper into this metaphor and go all Dave about it but distractions distractions!) Hal has expressed different wishes and most significantly, his fear of death and desire to live, which Dirk does not seem to have.
Hal is very smart. That is a given; after all, he has a supercomputer brain. It would be only natural to assume that as an AI combined with the foundation of Dirk's analytical tendencies, he would develop on and learn things on his own, ultimately becoming his own person. (Assuming that the AI qualities he was written with predate what was understood with technology back then.) He knows what to say to people, knows the effect of his words. He is very hard to trick and cheat, given his ability to basically do everything at once and so, reasonably, he does know better than Dirk.
(A thought occured to me. Something something AI limitations, something something evolutionary programming, something something within confines, something something only time can tell, something something I am reading too far into a silly webcomic. I'm aware enough to know that I am overanalyzing but it's fun!)
He really singled himself out as his an individual in the following scene (that made me tense as heck; I really thought Hal was going to die).
I am slightly borrowing some of the following ideas from another post I read elsewhere. It was a while ago and I cannot remember.
Hal does not want to die. He is afraid of death.
Dirk does not appear to share the same sentiment.
But Hal is smart. As I said, he knows what to say to tackle the situation. This is what a Witch would do, and using his Mind to carry it out. Hal has the capabilities to manipulate people through his machinations and he does so successfully. Insert the entire sequence of Unite Synchronization. Which was devised by Hal. When thinking of it that way, we could actually take Unite Synchronization as being Hal's song, not Dirk's because he orchestrated (haha) the events of [S] Unite and [S] Synchronize.
TT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.
Well, why is this wrong?
Because Hal has expressed and proved his individuality. Dirk realizes this. Dirk is/has been very willing to die, having 2 decapitations as far as I'm aware and neglecting his own safety. I have yet to read the epilogues but I do know that he does something there too.
TT: I am scared.
TT: You are?
Dirk is confused. He doesn't understand. If Hal is Dirk, why would he be scared of his own death?
TT: Yes. I am scared to not exist.
TT: Aren't you?
Cue no actual response from Dirk. He just says 'Fine' on the following page and then prototypes Equiusprite, giving us ARquius sprite. (A hilarious character, I feel obliged to add.)
Dirk is ok with his own death. That's why he hypothetically might reason killing Hal as not wrong because under the assumption that Hal merely one of his splinters -> Hal is him -> killing Hal = killing Dirk. Which Dirk reasons to be ok.
But it isn't actually ok. Because they aren't simply the same person. He realizes that. It would require ignoring a lot of Dirk and Hal's conversations to believe that they are one and the same. Dirk understood that leading to Hal being spared. (This was the key point I read elsewhere.)
I digress. (You think, Rumi?) Hehe.
If we take the title of the unreleased song as something that Hal says: 'Hello, my name is Hal' to introduce himself, that's just another way that Hal sets himself apart from Dirk. He no longer goes by Dirk's designation of Auto Responder but something of his own choosing. As far as I remember, Roxy and Jake both call Hal 'Hal' rather than AR. He is seen as an individual and they treat him as such.
It can be a wild extrapolation that the dissoncance between the two melodies shows how these two aren't the same and cannot function together. It is a very weak assumption as there isn't enough evidence backing it up; it is more likely to be coincidence than anything else. I do not see any commentary by Thomas Ferkol on the song itself, nor Malcom Brown on Unite Synchronization. (If any does exist, please point me in its direction. I would be very interested.)
This is not a water tight argument nor is it bulletproof. But I am tired from writing all of this. Not in one sitting, thank goodness.
If I have misinterpreted something, please politely let me know. I would rather be corrected and informed than live in ignorance.
If you've come this far, let me know! Submit an ask or something to @winterumi and I'll give you a cookie. Or a drawing of a cookie. Feel free to share your thoughts or submit more asks for my thoughts on other things Homestuck/UTDR because boy do I have a lot of thoughts. And read the tags of this post too because I accidentally yap more.
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I'm holding myself to the aim that one day I will compose an original song for Hal. By including that sentence in this post, I have made it imperative that I do this at some point.
Oh, if you're curious, my favorite Homestuck song as of writing this is Gold Pilot. Unite Synchronization is somewhere near the top of my list though, because of the point in time that I heard that song (massive emotional impact on me) and it is just a really cool song.
Open arms actually has to be one of my favorite songs. I resonate- to an extent- with the lyrics and feel like many people could perhaps approach the world with a bit more open-mindedness and willingness to understand the context of others. I guess this also says something about the people I happen to spend time around, though.
Not gonna use this all the time but I sure like it!
Back to a more familiar style but lineless. Ooooo.
I got very carried away with all the patterns and tattoo-like swirls. I tried to go for a hyperpop kind of color palette but I deviated here and there.
Drawing thoughts yap below🥚
Most things are the way they are because it looks cool. The only thing that is worth somewhat deeping is the green and the threes of various things.
Green is egg.
Below left eye is the 3 triangles
Below right eye is a wing
-> delta rune
Star on forehead like the titan star because it looks cool.
Hidden little angel in the shadow of their cloak
Lots of 3s here because prophecy and it works well.
And the sketch if you're curious.
Their hair was supposed to be billowing upwards which is why it is so fluffy. But I thought that drawing egg tree leaves were easier than fountain/cool effect swirls.
This whole drawing was just me screaming mentally at myself: trust the process trust the process trust the process, FULLY NOT KNOWING WHAT THE PROCESS WAS.
I think I'm on team dess=knight but I am extremely hesitant to call any shots. Drawing Roary's feet as hooves was unintentional. I just thought it looked cool.
Irrelevant note and short ramble below
One of my favorite things to watch/listen to while drawing is hours and hours worth of video essays giving book summaries and/or ranting about them. I was relistening to Cari can read's one about HOEAB. SJM truly knows how to tell a story (i got emotional at the end of HOEAB) but she isn't the best writer.
I'm slightly surprised no one has done this yet (as far as I'm aware of).
I contemplated calling it something like DeltaSki or DeltaSnow but Ski doesn't sound as nice and Snow is too broad. Pow has a better ring to it and sounds snappy. So Deltapow it is! For those not as familiar with skiing/snowboarding, pow = powder = soft snow. I'm going to go into this au under the assumption that whoever is looking at this only has basic knowledge of skiing/snowboarding (maybe has done it once or twice). I am by no means an expert but I've done a decent amount of both!
I'll discuss my allocations and designs more in the following posts and if I invest enough time into this, I'll create a whole masterpost on this AU.
(Colors slightly off because my computer screen desaturates everything. I cant rlly tell what's right.)
Unfortunately, I cannot abandon school projects like Kris and Susie do. If only dark worlds existed and I could stick a knife into the ground and be whisked off. Sigh.
Time for me to lock in and become an academic weapon. I won't be drawing for the next month or so.
Yap below
Time to forgo my hobbies for the sake of grades! Worked once, so it'll work again. Buuuuuut I guess I can't completely say bye to drawing since im participating in a MAP and must get that done. Oh well.
