Wisdom and good decision making are within your power: just as soon as you start speaking of yourself in the third person
The benefits of the studied technique:
In a study by Igor Grossmann, participants who used "illeism" (referring to oneself in the third person) showed improvements in wise reasoning qualities like intellectual humility, perspective-taking, and finding compromise, compared to a control group.
Those using illeism were also more accurate in predicting their future emotional reactions, indicating better emotional regulation.
The benefits were seen after a 4-week daily diary intervention prompting illeism.
How one might use the technique themselves:
When facing a challenging situation, try silently referring to yourself in the third person, e.g. "David felt frustrated that..."
Keep a daily journal describing situations from a third-person perspective.
This can build wise reasoning skills over time. Use it particularly when making difficult decisions or during interpersonal conflicts to reduce bias and improve perspective-taking.
The more it is practiced, the more illeism can become a beneficial habit supporting wise reasoning and emotional regulation.
First person example: I'm absolutely fuming that my best friend since childhood cancelled our concert plans tonight with barely an explanation. We've had these tickets for months to see our favorite band that we've been obsessed with since middle school. She texted me an hour before we were supposed to leave saying she didn't feel like going anymore. I tried calling her to get a better reason but she wouldn't pick up her phone. Now I'm stuck having wasted money on an extra ticket and feeling like our decade-long friendship means nothing if she bails on me so easily.
Third person example: Ryan is absolutely fuming that his best friend since childhood cancelled their concert plans tonight with barely an explanation. They've had these tickets for months to see their favorite band that they've been obsessed with since middle school. She texted Ryan an hour before they were supposed to leave saying she didn't feel like going anymore. Ryan tried calling her to get a better reason but she wouldn't pick up her phone. Now Ryan is stuck having wasted money on an extra ticket and feeling like their decade-long friendship means nothing if she bails on him so easily.
