Hi Pia! One thing I always seem to have trouble with is thinking separately to what the narrating characters think, if that makes sense? It's kinda why I love reading your replies to comments & tumblr asks & lurk on discord. You give more insight to them & other characters & their thought process & reasons behind why they say, think, or do certain things sometimes & that really helps me understand each of them better. I was re-reading FFS & came to the chapter where they were going through the form & Arden told Efnisien that he was "extraordinarily sweet". I wanted to ask, if it's not a bother, what is it that Arden finds sweet about Efnisien? Like what made him describe Ef in that way specifically? I've tried to think back and see Ef through Arden's eyes but I can't make that connection and was hoping maybe you could elaborate on that if that's ok? I'm super curious about it.
I wanted to ask, if it's not a bother, what is it that Arden finds sweet about Efnisien?
I actually think, as is so often true with Arden, it was a lot of things added up together, like:
* Arden saying that Efnisien needs to get his permission to touch him in a scene, and Efnisien automatically translating that to ‘asking for permission under every circumstance, including not automatically assuming he can return hugs.’
* Efnisien’s overall hesitancy and shyness. For all that he was initially hostile, he can be quite...on the back foot around Arden. For example, he literally says ‘am I your boyfriend?’ before Arden says he’s sweet. He doesn’t say ‘can I be your boyfriend’ or ‘so we’re like boyfriends now.’ He leaves the choice entirely in Arden’s court, and lets it be entirely his decision. Efnisien’s language around Arden is very... ‘I am going to give you complete control over me.’
(Which Arden finds sweet).
* Arden’s aware that Efnisien probably hasn’t been called sweet very often because of his background and his past. He does actually do it on purpose to (again many reasons for this) partly put Efnisien on the back foot, partly introduce him to softer terms he feels Efnisien deserves (like sweetheart, etc.), partly because he thinks Efnisien is sweet, partly because he likes to subvert expectations of masculinity by using words typically associated with women lmao, and partly because he likes flustering Efnisien.
Arden’s complicated.
* Efnisien’s general willingness to a) let Arden take the lead, b) not encroach on Arden’s life or ask for his time or his help etc. (this is thankfully changing a little, too much of it was not a good thing), c) be very quick to offer to give up something he enjoys (like seeing Arden, or visiting the bookshop) for Arden’s comfort. Efnisien does this all the time.
Which means Arden’s extremely aware that Efnisien is naturally very empathetic towards other people, and wants them to feel comfortable around him. Even if Efnisien isn’t aware of this.
***
I could go on, but basically he believes that Efnisien is an unusually giving person - especially since he doesn’t really feel it’s specifically because Efnisien is trying to ‘compensate’ specifically for what he’s done so much as like...that’s actually just who Efnisien seems to be -> an innate people pleaser who is happiest when the people around him are happy.
And he specifically uses words like sweet because - as stated above - he likes to use subversive words sometimes and he especially likes to fluster Efnisien, lol. But Efnisien’s shyness and his... I guess the way he can dance along the line from regressed behaviours to adult behaviours, lends a sweetness to his behaviour that Arden appreciates.
(And maybe secretly wants to destroy during scenes sometimes).
