Hope and the Dark Destroyer
“--and then she said, ‘well, so many men are so scared to buy lady products for their girlfriends! It’s like, nobody thinks they’re for you!’ and then she laughed, and it was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been in my life.”
“Well, look on the bright side. Means she thought you were cis. That’s cool, right?”
High above the little town of Harmony, on a disk made of golden light, two young men in colorful attire sat with their feet dangling, eating ice cream cones while the townspeople went about their lives below.
The larger of the two wore a sleeveless yellow longcoat over a yellow and blue tank top and yellow leggings; a pair of mirrored sunglasses sat on top of his head, apparently abandoned in favor of the prescription glasses he now wore. His hair was pink, and a little fluffy, and the shades were pushed up as much to keep it out of his eyes as anything.
His companion was smaller, but in stature and build; he wore a long-sleeved red shirt, blue spandex workout shorts, and a long blue scarf that trailed behind him on the golden disk they were sitting on. One of his legs was off just below the knee, and replaced by a prosthetic that had been painted the same red and blue as his outfit. Unlike the first, he still wore the ski goggles he’d adopted to protect his identity.
The first was known by the people of Harmony as Hope, generously called a superhero by those who believed that what he was doing was more than running around in a silly costume and failing to stop any crime whatsoever. The latter had branded himself The Dark Destroyer; to his eternal annoyance, everyone, Hope included, just called him Dark.
Hope sighed, and licked a stripe of melted ice cream off his hands. “I don’t care if people think I’m cis or not. I mean, it’s nice to be cis passing, but the point is that they think of me as a man. But I mean- it was so embarrassing! Why did she have to draw so much attention to it? No wonder guys don’t like buying menstrual stuff, if that’s the kind of attention we get for it.”
“True.” Dark bit off the bottom of his cone, grunted in irritation, and bit off more farther up, past the fudge, so he could suck the last of his ice cream out of the bottom.
Hope watched him do this, then turned his attention to his own cone. “You stole these ice creams, didn’t you?”
Dark snorted. “Hope. C’mon. Do you see the shorts I’m wearing? I don’t have pockets on these things, where am I gonna keep my cash?”
“Those are exercise shorts, right? Don’t they have a pocket inside the band for your wallet? I’ve got some shorts like that, they’re supposed to have a pocket.”
“They do, but, like, not a very big one. It’s got room for my phone and that’s it. Besides, I’m a fucking supervillain, I don’t pay for things. Anyway, you needed ice cream, so I got you ice cream.”
“I didn’t need ice cream. I needed something to go right for once. Like not being given stolen goods by my archnemesis. Now I’m an accessory.”
“I’ve seen less stylish accessories,” replied Dark, adjusting his shorts.
“You’re not helping.”
“At least I’m trying to. Face it, everyone in your life sucks but me. Admit it. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Hope rolled his eyes, and then gave Dark a weak smile. “You are,” and then, a horrified look, and, “Oh god, you are, aren’t you? The best thing that’s ever happened to me is the guy who tries to kill me on a weekly basis.”
“Aww, don’t be like that-” Dark began, and then, without warning, the light disk they were seated on flickered.
It was only for a moment, but it was just long enough to drop them from its safe support: Dark kicked off of what was, to all appearances, thin air to land safely back on the disk, but Hope was having no such luck. He was trying to halt his fall by reforming a new disk to catch him, but he couldn’t get the power to take hold. Meanwhile, the old disk was flickering each time he tried.
“Ah, shit,” Dark said, and kicked off into a dive.
It was a remarkable thing to witness, had anyone been around to witness it. Dark seemed to be parkouring off of thin air, following a zigzag pattern down until he was in line with Hope. He caught him as he went by, still descending by slowing enough that by the time they reached the ground, he was only jostled a little as their momentum ceased. He set the hero down carefully.
“There, back on the ground. What happened, anyway?”
“Lost control for a second,” Hope said, moving over to flop onto a patch of grass. “And nearly killed us both.”
“Nah, I was fine. Honestly, you only nearly killed yourself because you were trying to keep me safe. If you’d let the first shelf go, you could have made a new one.”
“And then you would have been the one falling.”
Dark rolled his eyes. “This may come as a surprise to you, Hope, but I can actually fly. Ish. I would be fine. You have to stop worrying about other people so much- it’s going to get you killed, and then where will I be?”
“Eating stolen ice cream without anyone to shame you for it, probably.”
“Exactly! And that’s way less fun. Come on. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about me. Just take care of yourself.”
Hope sighed, and Dark threw his arm around his shoulder. He looked up at the setting sun. “Come on, let’s get back to town the old fashioned way.”
“Yeah, all right.” Hope leaned into him as they walked. “You really are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Dark. I really am that pathetic.”
