#witty reply

[totiffanysandbeyond]

"Chipmunk cheeks, and missing teeth"

[diehard-fangirl]

To call that writing, madam, is an insult to quills and ink across the world.

Blake, To Catch an Heiress by Julia Quinn

[mustafa1183]

Presence of mind helps, Never Panic....!!!

In a shop a man asked for 1/2 kg of butter. The salesperson, a young boy, said that only 1kg packs were available in the shop, but the man insisted on buying only 1/2 kg. So the boy went inside to the manager's room and said "An idiot outside wants to buy only 1/2 kg of butter". To his surprise, the customer was standing right behind him..!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

                   So the boy added immediately, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half!!!!!!". After the customer left, the manager said "You have saved your position by being clever enough at the right time. Where do you come from?" To this the boy said, "I come from Brazil. The place consists of only prostitutes and football players!!!!!" The manager replied coldly, "My wife is also from Brazil ". 

                   To this the boy asked excitedly, "Oh yeah? Which team does she plays for?" Presence of mind helps, Never Panic....!!! - 

  REGARDS MUSTAFA.

[mustafa1183]

At an airport

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

                     A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.

                   " The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14". 

                   With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."

  REGARDS MUSTAFA.

[dreamyspacecadet]

when i was in the 5th grade some girl i barely knew came up to me and said  " you did pretty well in the exams, I though you were stupid. I mean you look quite dumb."

I haven't thought of a smart reply to that yet ....and i'm 18!

[elfcirynn]

When asked, "Why do you believe in free will?", it was said in response, "Because I cannot choose to do otherwise".