Katsuki Yuuri’s 30 Day Diary Challenge: Day 5
List 10 things you are grateful for today
It was hard to feel gratefulness for anything when all he could think of was the echoing emptiness that left his head numb. His resolve from the previous day had managed to disappear by morning, just gone as if it had never even existed. He skipped ballet practice with Minako-sensei despite knowing she would make him pay for it later. He just couldn’t find it in himself to get up, to put on his clothes, to do anything.
Winter break was ending in three days and he would be cut off from the Madoushinai world again. He would miss Viktor’s return to the ice at the Four Continents Championship, a fitting start to show the world that Viktor was unstoppable. He would be shut away in the grand castle and surrounded by Madoushi who looked down on him and magic that only ever cooperated when he was waving runes and crooning age old charms, long forgotten by most of the modern magical society.
If only he could look forward to graduation. But even that left him with the vague feeling of a mountain troll sitting on his chest. Just where was his resolve when he needed it most?
Gritting his teeth, he clicked the pen on out of spite. Yes, he was hiding under his blanket fort. Yes, he was still in his pajamas in four in the afternoon. Yes, he was going to have to face Minako-sensei the next day and apologize for missing practice even though she had been counting on him. But even if he was a disaster, maybe he could do this one thing.
Find ten things he was grateful for.
List 10 things you are grateful for today
1. My mother
(Yuur’s lips twitched up at the thought of his wonderful mother, who was always there for him, supporting his every move.)
2. My home
(Hasetsu was as much of a haven for him as food always had been.)
3. Ice
4. Viktor
He paused, looking down at his list. His chest gave a pang when he realized that he missed his dad and Mari. But he didn’t know what to do. He started writing without thinking and now here he was. He ignored his father and sister, as if they had no role in his life, as if they hadn’t been just as amazing and supporting as his mother…
Swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat, he squeezed the pen in his hand harder and hastily added to the first point of his list:
1. My mother and my father and Mari
He looked at it and quickly scratched it out even though he knew it was against the rules. But it was just so obvious he added his father and Mari as an afterthought. If someone ever seen it… No, he needed it to be perfect.
There. That had to be the correct answer. Except he felt even worse because it all just rang false. He did not feel grateful at all in that moment. Not for his family and not even for Viktor.
He buried his face in his pillow and let out a wet, choked sigh. He couldn’t give up. He got this far and even with the mess he made, he already had four things he knew he was grateful for. Even if he did not feel it at the moment.
With a deep breath he pulled away from his pillow and forced himself to look at the diary again. He even managed not to wince at the heavy inky stained scratches over the first point.
1. My mother and my father and Mari
1. My family
2. My home
3. The ice
4. Viktor
5. Phichit’s friendship
6. Magic
7. Minako-sensei’s…
8. Yuuko’s support
He only needed two more. Just two. Why was this so hard? Why couldn’t he appreciate things more? Gritting his teeth he added another item.
And then another because even if it wasn’t the whole truth, it was more than nothing and it had to be enough.