#wizard kitchen

[wizard-line-cook]

Have you ever seen a fifth dimensional being eat a burger? Fuckin wild

[whatamirolling]

taako at the beginning of each of his cooking shows: i would invite you all now to assume the position... and get ready to do it to ‘em.

[wizard-line-cook]

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

This couplet from the witches’ chant in Macbeth is actually a serviceable soup spell. Keeps a pot simmering as long as you keep singing to it. I usually just do a shanty of what I’m making. One of the other cooks does diss raps. The soup just likes being sung to.

[wizard-line-cook]

I call the spirits of feast and plenty! I call the spirits of griddle and flame! By the seven hungers and the three thirsts of the belly of the world I call you! By the sacred code of franchise distribution I beg your aid! Dark lords of bread in your fiery caves, specters of sesame in your airy fields, I ask of you a bun! From the lands of grass and corn I call on the spirits of beef for two patties and a slice of cheese! Faeries of the garden realm, I beg a shred of lettuce, and onion minced! Spirits of hearth and pantry, send me a pickle! In the name of hunger I ask you! By the will of the customer I command you!

Day 1 training at McMerlins, they teach you how to ritual cast Big Mac. Special sauce is always made in-house.

[whatamirolling]

today on wizard kitchen

taako, having finished making deep fried ice cream: we did it! and it wasn't even messy

kravitz: taako, it is a disaster in here

[wizard-line-cook]

*clasping hands together *

warmth, lifeblood, heat of a pumping heart

* hands moving apart *

spark, fire, furnace breath, engine thumping

* hands wide *

brick and stone, wood and coal, spirits of the kiln hold my fire!

That’s good for a stable flame portal, then you get a pair of bakers to toss dough back and forth through it. Not easy to do, but we just got an awesome flame mage, and the bakers have been casting Stone Hands and practicing their juggling

[wizard-line-cook]

When you work in magical fine dining every so often you see someone attempt some pretty questionable things.

This morning’s phoenix egg omelette experiment did not go well.