#wizard paperwork

[thewizardcouncil]

Dang chronomancers.

that is the last time we allow any experiments from chronomancy to occur with all memebers of the wizard council present. From our estimate we've been thrown forward in time a solid 4 to 5 years.

We aren't aware of how many regulations the wizards who noticed our absence have violated, but rest assured we will return to enforce them promptly.

Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go fill out a reverse leave of absence form T90735-J.

[thewizardcouncil]

To the Wizard Council,

I hadn't realized you had resumed regular operations. I am a former necromancer and veteran of the Skeleton War, and given the destruction caused by the war, I had assumed it would take longer to return to normal, even if it ended in a stalemate.

the council was temporally shunted from an earlier point in time that preceeded the skeleton war unto to this current timeline, It took a full year to rewrite and and update our regulations. There's probably stuffed we missed and we're saving that for our future selves

[thewizardcouncil]

from: Pondering orb who wishes to be anonymous

I recently got into a small argument with a wizard over said wizard pondering something and getting eye damage,could you please release some guidelines on what is safe to ponder so no more wizards make that mistake?

First when pondering an orb one should first consult the Councils Orb Pondering safety checklist- Is the orb actually an orb? Or is it merely a crystal ball. [Attentping to ponder a crystal ball in lieu of an orb has an unfortunate side effects afflicting the user with the Cassandra Curse.] Confirm all pondering is relevant to the current reality or timeline if intending to take action based upon said pondering, imagining other realities is facsinating but may not be relevant to the current extant reality. Have the viewing glasses or the orb itself been enchanted with the reversal of the view of eldritch horrors and maddening truths of realities, and/or obsession with specific aspects of reality charms? [Perhaps you just want to know the distance to your local star, but are obsessed that the ratios must be equivalent to the ratio between each higher platonic solid] Has the orb itself been enchanted such that is able to contain the pressure to withhold all realities, past and future, the maddening realities of the space within space, the subliminal void and the aberrations of beings unbound and untethered to the fabrics of space-time and the ethereal aether of the spell touched realities? Once all of the above have been performed, it mostly comes down to user preference on how one should ponder their orb. Most council members prefer a comfortable chair with a writing desk or an autoscribe to record their musings, but we know some prefer to ponder on the precipice of the dreamscape and Astral realm upon their sleeping chamber. Just remember, you still have a physical body, the orb may call out to you and demand the psyche of yourself to feed its eternal parasitic hunger with the false promises of satisfaction and communal engagement, but *you* still have to sleep eat drink and use the facilities.

[thewizardcouncil]

is there some way to join the wizard council? i would like to enact change in my community

You can either join a small local council and overtake the previous one whilst you siphon their magical energies for your own nefarious purposes, which we would never do, or submit an application form HBW991-AZ-F-9J to the nearest interdimensional rift.

We find it's much easier to enact change in the community with others and by direct action though

[thewizardcouncil]

Remember rule 15-B of binding a familiar provides a list of pre-approved animal familiars

(Bats [currently under review for a potential ban for transmitting plague], rats [see 15-B(3) for black death clause], & cats)

But should you be willing to fill out the proper paperwork you may have any animal familiar desired.

Mine is a miniature Giraffe named Jirard.

[thewizardcouncil]

For the wizards, witches, sorcerers, enchanters, warlocks, and those other magically inclined asking why a single publication of all the wizarding rules and regulations have not been placed in a central location.  That would be because someone has enchanted the paper they are written on to fight all council members when they are attempted to be gathered in a group of more than twenty tomes. We found out that the scrolls combine into a fully realized Tome Golem last week. 

Oldalf had to drink 10 liters of healing potion before he could walk again.