Shocks, Startles, & Swears for the American Witch and Wizard
Likely going to be an eternal WIP as I compile more, these began a few thousand words into Mr. Blue Sky, as I realized American witches and wizards really had no specific phrases or terms of their own to fling outside of the oft-repeated Mercy Lewis. I seek to change that.
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Invoking the name of George Corwin:
Referring to an exceedingly untrustworthy and callous person, usually a No-Maj, with no reservations toward potentially or purposefully endangering the wizarding populus. Occasionally used to reference the threat posed by No-Maj society in general.
Examples:
“Slow up! Corwin’s just around the corner. Don’t give her any more ammo against us. She’s already paranoid as hell.”
“Do you really think kissing Corwin’s boots is going to stop him from stamping on your throat?”
Invoking the name of Giles Corey:
A highly contextual jab that refers to either:
(positive) A noble sacrifice, usually by means of stalling while oneself is in danger.
(negative) Stubbornly refusing aid or generally prolonging one’s own suffering, for a perceived, but not necessarily real, cause.
Occasionally used in law enforcement to describe an uncooperative suspect.
Examples:
“I-I can’t believe he did that. We were all supposed to stick together, but then he had to go Corey on us!”
“C’mon, Giles. Pack it up and clock out. I know this needs finishing, but you’ve been here all day. Go home and get some sleep.”
“We should have had this interrogation over by now, but she locked up Corey on us. Refuses to talk. We’re gonna have to go in with another angle…”
Invoking the name of Alse Young:
Invoked in expressions of disheartened sympathy.
Example:
“Young’s blood! That’s horrible— Are you sure that’s how it happened?”
“Brooms over Philly”:
Referring to popular legend of William Penn’s dismissal of convicted witch Margaret Mattson, by commenting (regarding her self-professed right to fly a broom over Philadelphia) “Well, I know of no law against it.” Often used to describe a legal loophole, especially by persons looking to exploit it.
Example:
“We’ll be fine. So long as we stick to the plan, it’s all brooms over Philly. Don’t worry!”
Invoking "Old Scratch":
While many American wizards and witches are nonreligious (or at least less religious than their No-Maj counterparts), they often find the No-Maj fixation on the Christian devil over-dramatic to the point of silliness. Invoking anything related to the Devil is generally lighthearted word filler.
Example:
"Old Scratch and His kin willing...", as an alternative to "God/etc willing”.
“Scratch’s sparks—”, as an expression of awe.
Prick/Witcher’s Prick:
More highly specified than its No-Maj counterpart, this refers to a deceitful person, often in the same breath as accusations of intentionally harmful deception, treachery, or fraudulent business practices. Almost overwhelmingly pejorative, will occasionally be heard as an exclamation of shock and surprise, where deception as used, but not maliciously (like in cases where the recipient of a surprise birthday party is revealed the secret)
Example:
“Remember that great deal I got last week? Turns out the seller was a real prick. Everything broke before I could use it!”
“You rotten bastard—you'd have made a great witcher’s prick in a past life.”
“Murphy, you old witcher’s prick! This is amazing! When did you find the time to plan all this? You told me you’d be out of town!”
“Your mother likes them mundane”:
An immature insult favored by younger blood supremacists, implying both that the recipient of the insult’s mother fucks No-Majs, and that the recipient’s perceived lack of a particular trait or skill is due to their bastard heritage (real or imagined). While used across the pond in Wizarding England, the American variant (prior to the repeal of Rappaport’s Law) carries the added implication of criminality.
MACUS-ey Goosey:
Pronounced “ma-KOO-see”, this term is used exclusively by (often lower ranking) MACUSA employees as a general exhausted criticism for the interdepartmental inflexibility and overall chaos experienced when handed down new changes in laws.
This was later misheard by No-Majs in the sixties and reimagined as “loosey-goosey”, where the meaning was interpreted as “imprecise, disorganized, or excessively casual”, which was, in all honesty, mostly correct.
Example:
“You wouldn't believe it. One statute gets a tiny rewording and suddenly our entire office is all MACUS-ey goosey, trying to fix old paperwork and make sure the branch offices are up to date. It's been a nightmare…”
