I’m reading a paper on skin lighting and shadeism in different cultures and I can’t stop crying thinking about all my sisters who were told that we’re “too dark” or that we shouldn’t play in the sun for too long lest we get darker. I love you and I’m sorry. If you were ever given fair and lovely as a gift for your birthday, I love you and I’m sorry. If you were ever made fun of by other people for your skin, I love you and I’m sorry. You should have never felt like you were anything less than perfect no matter what your skin looks like because true beauty come from within. No matter if you’re black, brown, asian, or indigenous you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I want you to know that you’re perfect the way you are and don’t need to change for anyone. I love you and I hope that you’re ok
First of all, I hope everyone is staying safe and able to quarantine themselves at this time. I know so much is happening around us, and it can feel overwhelming and frightening. Thus, I hope that this takes your mind off the craziness of the world, even just for a second. I know it definitely helped me!
This was inspired by so many things - my love for angst, Jake Gyllenhaal’s latest photo shoot, and this tweet by Nichole of Thirst Aid Kit Pod. However, after watching this scene from Nocturnal Animals, I finally figured this piece out. Enjoy!
“I don’t want to hide anymore,” he whispered.
Your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the harsh morning light. It was too early to have this argument. The dreaded never-ending argument that he recently kept bringing up. You didn’t want to have this fight either – you didn’t have the energy.
“Babe,” you groaned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You surprised him last night by showing up in LA to support his latest project. Dressed in a trench coat with nothing underneath, you were the first thing he saw when he walked in the house. He teared up at the sight of you, a reminder of how long you’d spent apart, and how much he’d missed you. Lately, the video calls and texts just weren’t enough. Seconds later, you dropped the coat and revealed his other surprise, which he was more than eager to touch. He ravished you, kissing every inch of skin, until purple bruising showed on your dark skin.
You hoped that your presence would dead his request to go public. But nothing deterred him, so you were now waking up to the same argument that you kept repeating on the phone. Only this time, there were no barriers to hide how you felt. It wasn’t that you didn’t love him or were embarrassed by him – you just had a better understanding of the aftermath of this announcement. The things they would say about him, the things they would say about you. Not to mention the impact it would have on his career. A committed Jake Gyllenhaal ruined the fantasy of every women planning their future with him. Then there was the reaction to you - the opposite of every woman he’d ever dated or admitted to crushing on. Publicly, you didn’t fit into his world, no matter how progressive society appeared to be, you knew the truth – you lived it. The slew of hate comments that would await every social platform you visited. Now, that Jake was on Instagram, it was bound to get worse.
It was easier keeping things the way they were, with only a few friends, family, and close associates knowing about your relationship. Besides, he always kept his relationships private, which is why his request sounded so odd.
It took a bit of adjusting, but you both found a way to make this relationship work. Yet, you noticed the little things that started chipping at him – his frustration when you let go of his hand in public settings - but it wasn’t enough to warrant concern. You still touched him in every way; you just learned to curtail any pda in case of prying eyes or cameras. Yet, he frowned every time you did it, and pushed for more affection.
“I don’t want to hide you anymore.” Jake trailed kisses down your neck, tracing the curve of your waist. He knew your body well, remembered it well, and treated it well. Memories of last night replayed in your mind as he continued to tease. The phone sex was good, but nothing beat the real thing. It’d been too long since you had it. You leaned into his touch, letting him guide the pace. Arms draped around his neck, you’d completely forgotten the argument. Although, in this position, you’d damn near forget your name. He shifted his weight, allowing your legs to instinctively wrap around his torso. The hunger in his eyes matched yours as you stared each other down. You were ready to rekindle what you both were missing these last couple of months. Closing your eyes, you tilted your face, ready for his kiss, but nothing happened. You opened your eyes in a haze of confusion. “Walk the carpet with me,” he insisted. “You have the dress, you already know how these things work, and I’ll only do four interviews max.” Jake kissed your nose, before kissing your lips. His eyes pleaded with you, waiting for your response. It was much harder to say no, when you were doing it in person, and couldn’t avoid his blue eyes. “I’ll be with you the entire time, and we don’t even have to stay for the whole movie.”
There was this part of you that wanted to say yes, and give in, just to see the joy on his face. Yet, it wasn’t that simple. This was about you as much as it was about him, and you needed to protect him, protect your relationship, and most importantly, protect yourself. Of course, you wanted to jump up and down, and scream from the mountain tops that you were dating. You were gorgeously happy, and madly in love with a man whose last name you’d gladly take in a heartbeat. Some days, you wondered why you put yourself through the secrecy and hiding, but then you remembered that this wasn’t a fairy tale, this was life. There were consequences to your perfect ending.
“It’s a small theatre. Private screening. Less people.” Jake argued, leaning in to kiss you again. A sigh escaped your lips, you knew where this was headed. You discussed this before, argued over it, laughed about it, then argued over it again.
“I don’t think we are ready.”
“Three years, and we aren’t ready? Bullshit.”
You freed your legs from his torso, realizing that you weren’t going to get any this morning, and that this argument was far from over. “Have you spoken to Hanna,” you hoped that mentioning his publicist would remind him that he couldn’t just spring you into his world.
“She thinks it’s time. Plus, it will generate buzz about the film.” He brought your hands to his lips, kissing the palms, before intertwining them with his hands. “The whole team thinks it’s time. I can’t be a bachelor forever.”
“George Clooney did it,” you quipped.
He smiled before turning serious again. “And, he is also married with two kids. C’mon, walk the carpet with me.”
You closed your eyes, letting out a heavy breath. It was too early to have this conversation, and you didn’t have the proper words to explain your hesitation. You sat up, and turned towards him with a smile, “What do you want for breakfast?”
Jake stared at you in complete disbelief, but you ignored it. Rising out of bed, you put on his shirt and started fluffing the pillows.
“What,” he asked, as he sat up.
You continued making the bed, ignoring his quizzical stare, “Pancakes sound nice.”
“I don’t have to answer any questions. I can be with you the whole time. Five minutes tops.”
“I don’t think we are ready.”
You fussed around, tidying up for no reason, awaiting his response, but he was silent. You looked over and found him staring at the light shining through from the windows.
“Babe – “
“We aren’t ready, or you aren’t ready,” he asked.
“Jake – “
“I love you. I want to spend my life with you, and I have no problem admitting that to the world.”
“I love you too – “
He didn’t wait for you to finish, before cutting in again. “You love me, but not enough to tell anyone about it.”
“That’s not true. I – “
“Are you happy…with me, with us,” he asked.
“Of course, I’m happy – “
“Paparazzi? Press? Cameras? The scrutiny? The comments? –“
“Jake, - “
“The backlash? The outrage? The stares? What is it?”
“Jake – “
“Okay, if not now, then when? Three years is a fucking long time to be hiding.”
“I don’t think you’re ready,” you blurted.
He went silent. The surprise coloring his face and taking away his breath.
“Fuck,” you sighed. This wasn’t the way you wanted to have this conversation.
Adaeze (Adeze) was the daughter of two African magician that thanks to their kindness and magic they became marquises in France. Thanks to them the land where they were ruling was one of the most flourished in the all kingdom.
It was 1500 and 4 people arrived in their building. The Mikaelsons were one of the most known novices in all kingdoms.
The eldest of the brothers is attracted to the daughter of the marquises, he had never seen a woman like her. The woman was also interested in the mysterious man, from that moment on they gave each other looks full of love and hidden.
Elijah had never experienced feelings like then, for the first time, in addition to giving all his heart to the person he loved, he was paid back with more love.
Unfortunately, their love did not last long, because his brother full of paranoia, revealed the true identity of the marquises and because of this they escaped, but the brother was still not satisfied, and so he killed Elijah's first true love.
“My love you don’t have to worry, I swear, under this moon and under this rain of stars, I will come back to love you more”
