#wolfstarheadcanons

[pranksinatrastrikesagain]

sirius would absolutely be the kind of guy to put his and remus’ name in a love generator and be giggling and kicking his feet when it’s says 100% compatibility.

[wolves-and-stars]

'Aural Fixation'

When people looked at the Marauders they expected four extremely cool individuals with varying taste in music. Sirius Black with his leather jackets and Doc Martens was expected to be a bowie and queen kind of guy.

Remus lupin with his sweaters and casual disinterest was expected to be a Beatles and Nirvana kind of guy. James an abba kind of guy and Peter probably listened to Oasis and the Bee Gees. 

However, what they didn't expect was for the marauders to participate in synchronised singing, it wasn't even in a "We're in a band" way but in a nerdy marauders way.

 Maybe they should've expected it with the whole "we researched and mapped Hogwarts for ‘fun’." thing

It actually started in first year, they were all doing their homework on the weekend because it was raining outside and Sirius had a habit of humming while he was concentrating, Walburga hated it, which naturally made Sirius love it.

They were sitting in a secluded corner of the common room and he started humming while noting something down. After a while, he got into it and started mumbling bits and pieces of the lyrics. 

James, having the attention span of a goldfish, started humming alongside, tapping his quill to the back of his book, matching time with the beat.

When Sirius noticed, he started singing, elbowing James to join in, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

James looked up from his work and smiled at Sirius as he began coordinating with the lyrics smiling wide. 

The song had a lot of back vocals and Peter began to pitch in singing the parts that came simultaneously in the back with the main vocals, doing comedic high notes and gesturing wildly, reenacting the lyrics of heartbreak and sadness with a dramatic flair. 

Sirius was holding his quill up to Remus who was determined not to sing and finish his essay.

So, he ducked and playfully glared at the boys before Sirius and James burst into the chorus.

Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulders singing at him, James motioning from his heart to Remus in an ‘I dedicate this song to you, moony, love of my life’ gesture.

Remus rolled his eyes and put his quill down, he took a breath, puffing up his chest.

The boys paused with bated breath looking at him expectantly.

Remus smiled really wide, his cheeks dusty pink, and burst out the bridge of the song.

The boys joined in immediately and all of them sang the same part, surprisingly in perfect harmony.

When they reached the end Peter tapped the table on beat with James and Remus slowly fading their voices.

All of them turned to Sirius, who climbed onto the table opened his arms and sang the end, falling to his knees dramatically at the end.

They stared at each other for 30 seconds before they burst into laughter.

James tackling Sirius on the table and Remus elbowing Peter.

After that, it just became routine, whenever one of them started humming the other would pick up the tune and sing along.

At one point they fancied themselves to be an acapella group, which Remus shut down immediately. ‘Sirius, we are not going to call ourselves the ‘aural fixation’ stop trying to make it a thing.’ “aca-sucse me, Remus, I am offended” to which Remus just sighed.

Thankfully it never stuck, but they were careful never to mention it to Sirius, he was still salty about the topic.

The only way they got Sirius to drop the name was by signing up for the talent show every year under that name, provided he would never refer to them by said name on any other day of the year.

They were hit, winning every year without fail.

They’d practice for weeks, on insistence on Sirius’ part, before the show. Although Sirius wasn’t allowed to say the name even during practice.

Which he agreed to but only after coaxing from moony.

They did it for fun too, usually, Sirius would start singing something and James would start humming along, harmonising, Peter would sing all the background notes and Remus eventually would trade off singing the main bits with Sirius.

It'd be 3 in the morning and you would hear strangely angelic sounds coming from their dorm.

It’d become a party trick and everyone that knew them looked forward to it after a quidditch victory when the fire whiskey was broken out and all of them were high on adrenaline.

Sirius stopped singing after Regulus died, James and Lily went into hiding and they barely sent a letter let alone sang, Peter was never a leader, and unbeknownst to them he was very busy, so he never started anything, and Remus missed all of them.

Eventually, when James and Lily died, Sirius was in Azkaban and Peter was supposedly dead, it was too painful a memory for Remus to think about.

So eventually the memory faded, into something that never happened, even when Sirius escaped, he rarely spoke let alone sing.

Maybe in another life, Remus was able to think about it sometimes and use it as a memory to conjure a Patronus.

Maybe in another life. 

[wolves-and-stars]

WOLFSTAR+JEALOUSY

*some random guy flirting with remus*

sirius- ..and I'd better not catch you with your hands on my man again.

random guy- you're that threatened?

sirirus- no, honey, you're threatened

random guy - how come?

sirius- because I'm threatening you, on site, bitch.

remus- yeah, baby, you tell him.

[wolves-and-stars]

6 days 3 hours 28 minutes 

After the first harvest moon at Hogwarts since the boys found out about Remus’ ‘furry little problem', Remus had been in the hospital for over a week.

The moon had been stronger that month, and he couldn’t keep the wolf stable enough for the marauders to let him out into the forbidden forest. He’d stayed inside the shrieking shack and the wolf did not like that.

So, he took it out on Remus, who’d been so roughed up the next morning that the marauders couldn’t patch him up alone like they usually did instead of taking him to Madame Pomfrey because Remus hated the infirmary or any hospitals in general.

James had begrudgingly carried him to the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey had taken him into intensive care immediately.

After a while, she’d realised that the resources she had weren’t enough and had to move him into St Mungos.

Where he’d been for 6 days and counting…. 6 days 3 hours and 28 minutes but Sirius wasn’t counting.

For those 6 days 3 hours and 28 minutes Sirius hadn’t slept, nor had he visited Remus. He just couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to walk into the room where Remus was probably lying down, completely alone.

Whenever Remus was in the infirmary he requested the bed next to the window with the curtains open because he liked the sun to come in after spending so long in the dark.

And this time Sirius didn’t know if James made sure he got that bed, he didn’t know if he would’ve remembered, but he couldn’t bring himself go ask or do it himself.

So, all he could think about for 6 days 3 hours and 28 minutes was how Remus might not have the sun on him, the one thing he asked for, because of him.

It's not like he didn’t try, he’d gotten permission from McGonagall and Dumbledore multiple times to go to the hospital, but he still hadn’t been able to get to it.

I mean in his defence, he got sidetracked every time. He was totally gonna do it, but every single time someone or the other needed him and he couldn’t let them down.

Which James would call ‘ironic’ to which Sirius would say

‘Jamie, you don’t even know what that means, shut the fuck up.’

The first time he’d tried, the knight bus was late and he’d seen Rosemerta at Hogsmeade and she needed help with a shipment.

“She really needed some helping hands, James, I couldn’t go, do you remember how many times she’s slipped us fire whiskey”

“Sirius, she explicitly said she did NOT want your help. And we had to let the workers go overtime because you significantly slowed down the process.”

The second time he’d actually reached the hospital

“At least I made it into the hospital this time, that's progress, Prongs” “ "It really is not, mate”

The third time he heard the receptionist talking about the gift shop and immediately realised that he couldn’t show up empty-handed.

By the time he’d asked for directions and reached the shop, it was closed. He couldn’t just go without a gift now, so, he’d just have to visit tomorrow and be in time for the gift shop to be open.

“My mother always taught me never to show up empty-handed, James.”

“Pads, your mother is crazy, why have you chosen now to listen to her”

“Everyone has their vices”

“What?!”

“Shut up”

On the most recent try, he reached on time for the gift shop to be open but there were too many options, snow globes, teddies, and t-shirts.

So, he had to have a long look and find the perfect thing because gift-giving was not a laughing matter.

“James, gift-giving is not something to be taken lightly. When I still tolerated my mother I got her a perfume for Christmas, and what I meant by the gift was ‘mother, I literally don't know anything about you but you like expensive things so here’s this perfume.’ but what she saw when she got the perfume what she saw was ‘here is some sex juice, I think you’re a prostitute and believe in the devil.’ Which would now be true, but in that context was not!”

“Sirius, stop. Remus needs you to be there for him and you’re too scared to do that, but that's your problem. Remus shouldn’t have to be at the receiving end of you not being able to get your shit together. So, you need to fix whatever this is and go visit him because he needs you right now.”

“I know but Remus and I have always had this unspoken agreement that he doesn’t need my help or empathy and I was gonna treat him just like one of us no matter what. If I had to see him lying in the hospital bed hooked up to god knows what it's hard to pretend nothing's wrong”

“Don't make this about yourself, pads, sometimes all you have to do is be there. Now go to the hospital and show Remus that you care”

And that made so much sense and it made him hate James. But hating him didn't make it make less sense.

So, the next day the knight bus was on time, the gift shop was open, and he immediately bought the chocolate and cookies.

He had tunnel vision and nothing could stop him.

He got angrier as he was stomping around trying not to psych himself out. The aggressive walking and tunnel vision mixed with his angst about James being right steadily made him angrier as he approached Remus’ room.

He didn’t have to ask the receptionist, he’d been here enough times to have memorised the room number and the directions to the room.

He just stormed past the reception looking for the room threw the door open with a ‘BANG’ where he saw Remus sit up, startled.

“Look who’s in the hospital Remus John Lupin. What a surprise. Well if you think I came here to feel sorry for you, you have another thing coming, because I didn’t feel sorry for you when you told us you were a werewolf, or the time you couldn’t go to class for a week after a bad moon, or the time you fainted in the bathroom, and I’m not gonna feel sorry for you now. Glad you didn’t die. See you when you get out." and with that Sirius had turned and walked out

He had barely reached past the corridor when he’d felt another bout of rage so he stormed right back into the room where Remus was sitting upright like he somehow knew Sirius wasn’t done yet, watching him expectantly.

Of course, perfect Remus always knew exactly, what Sirius was going to do, like the stupidly perfect boyfriend he was, which only made him angrier, 

“AND HERE'RE YOUR COOKIES!” He said tossing the pack of sweets towards Remus’ bed storming back out.

Now, Sirius didn’t really know how Remus reacted to that, all he knows is when Remus came back to the dorms he kissed Sirius just like he always did in the morning and everything was back to normal.

But if he’d stayed a little bit longer before storming off, he’d see Remus smiling to himself, look at the patient in the bed beside his and say “I told you he’d come” taking a surprisingly cocky bite of his cookie.

[wolves-and-stars]

"Case two hundred fourteen, Remus Lupin-Black, step towards the podium"

"The court accepts your guilty plea, Mr. Lupin. And since you are unable to post bail, you'll be remanded until your sentencing hearing. Do you understand?" Judge Harlow said frowning, looking down, Shaking his head. Like he had any right.

"You have no record. Not so much as a traffic violation. So, I must admit, I find this arrest rather disappointing." He went on, flipping through some pages that didn't matter, none of this mattered.

"What would you have me do, Your Honor? On every corner, there's someone selling, so I buy... and I use. If you had my life, you'd probably use, too." Remus manages to push out through the ball that's been forming in his throat, choking any of the words out, that's the most he's talked in weeks.

"Just a year ago, my family was alive, and my husband was alive, and we were having a son. Now, they're gone. They're all gone." He says brushing the tears away, he will not cry, he won't cry infront of this man. Not now, not when he didn't before this. This was nothing. It was nothing.

"Mr. Lupin..." the judge said managing to look it.

No, this man wasn't disappointed, no one in the world was more disappointed than Remus Jhon lupin.

So, he forced the words out, and he held in the tears, because nobody deserved to be disappointed, not like he was. Nobody deserved it .

" I come here, and you tell me you're disappointed? Well, guess what? I am more disappointed. I am the most disappointed man you've ever met in your whole damn life." He said lip quivering.

His husband was six feet under with anyone else in the world that he cared about, their house burnt down, no pictures, nothing to prove the life he used to have, only a spotless record and memories, most of which he wanted to forget, so he used.

It got rid of both, two birds one stone, hopefully it would take him down too.

The mighty marauders, and all it took was some wood and fire. Everything crumbled and god was cruel enough to let him out. Locking him in.

"So, if you want to lock me up, lock me up. Put me inside, because there is nothing out here for me anymore." Head bowed, this was his resignation.

Remus Jhon Lupin-Black was none of those names anymore, he was nothing more than the most disappointed man.

[wolves-and-stars]

Judge: anything you say will be held against you

Sirius: remus lupin

Judge: please stop-

[wolves-and-stars]

Sirius: I love talking to myself, I get me.

Remus: Then why are you constantly talking at us.

James: not even with us. constantly. not one breath.

Peter: this is the first time you've stopped speaking in an hour

[wolves-and-stars]

"Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine"

-remus lupin, after having three consecutive panic attacks