Sep 25, 2017
#wontgiveup (at Springfield, Virginia)
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#wontgiveup (at Springfield, Virginia)
I can't tell you how happy this video makes me. Is my form perfect? Not even close! However, after taking huge steps backwards the last few weeks, I finally turned a corner and am moving in the right direction again. If you are interested in more of my form videos, make sure to check out my YouTube channel where I document my changes beginning day 1 with a recurve. #keeppushing #eyesontheprize #wontgiveup #ididquitforanhourlastweek #thewinningfaktor #easton #arcHer #toughchik
Lucha docente en defensa de la educación pública. Teacher’s struggle for public education. Open classes on the street.
meet me
It’s been an extremely few difficult days, but after pushing myself to my limits to find some joy in each moment, I am finally feeling a little bit better. I doubt anyone out there is reading this, but I want to explain more about my condition and how I have become who I am today.
I’ve spent nearly my entire life sick in some way. Whether it was lactose intolerance in first grade, acid reflux in second grade, mono in sixth grade, a broken wrist and surgery for it in seventh grade, and migraines and stomach aches the entire time, I’ve basically always had something wrong with me. From the moment I began forming my identity, illness was too large of a part of that identity. When I was twelve, I saw a neurologist for constant headaches, dizziness, neck pain, and numbness and tingling in my hands, arms, legs, and feet. After an MRI, I was diagnosed with a Chiari Malformation. Chiari is a herniation of the cerebellar tonsils into the spinal column, simply put, the back of my brain sags down into my neck. At the time of my diagnosis, I was told my herniation was not significant enough to take any action, and for years after that I almost forgot about the diagnosis.
I went on with high school. I continued my relationship from the age of thirteen through all of high school, I played travel soccer, I studied hard, and I had the absolute best group of friends. As I got older, my headaches started getting significantly worse. I started to have uncontrollable nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and headaches. By the time I was a junior, I was missing half of each week of school, only able to be active for about four hours each day, studying in extreme pain, vomiting in my sleep, and passing out in the halls on the days I did make it to school. I would dry heavy constantly throughout the day, I could barely eat, I only slept a few hours each night, and I was beyond miserable. Many more MRI’s were ordered, and a neurosurgeon told me that I had no cerebral spinal fluid between the posterior part of my brain and my skull. Essentially, I had no “jello” to protect my brain from bashing against my skull, so he told me I was experiencing what he would consider to be “a daily severe concussion”. He told me I had a surgical option, and within two weeks of that appointment I was in an operating room. A Chiari Decompression surgery consists of removing a portion of the skull bone to relieve the pressure on my brain, hoping to reinstate the flow of CSF and prevent further pain.
I remember waking up from surgery and feeling high out of my mind, but I felt better. I could tell the pain was better. It didn’t matter that I had just had every muscle in my neck cut in half, I knew I felt better. I ended up vomiting from the anesthesia later after a night in the ICU, and immediately after vomiting, I looked to my mom and laughed. I laughed and said to her “that didn’t hurt” and we both cried. Even throwing up, I felt better. After four nights in the hospital, I returned home and was ready to be a new person. For months after my surgery, I was so much healthier. I was so much happier; it was a miracle in my mind. I watched my parents cry weekly at seeing how much better I felt.
Months passed, and my symptoms began returning. They were originally mild, but they were back. I started my senior year of high school, and despite not feeling as great as I previously had, it was amazing. I had the best group of friends, I had the most amazing boyfriend, I was crowned homecoming queen, and I was finally catching up on the life I had been missing for so long. Despite feeling sick again, it was one of the best years of my life. I had gone from being 10/10 miserable every minute of every day, to such a great final year of high school. Graduation rolled around, I was committed to a college two hours from home, and I was so excited to take on the future.
I was lucky to end up at the same college as my boyfriend, who I have been dating since we were thirteen. I could talk about him for hours, but I’ll do that on another day. The idea of college terrified me. I was always such a homebody. I consider my parents to be some of my best friends, I love my dogs, and home is my favorite place in the world. Still is. College brought on a great deal of anxiety for me. I shared one small bedroom with three other girls, each extremely unique and quite different from me. I struggled to maintain my physical health, my mental health, and my grades all at the same time. I ended up coming home every chance I got. I ended up hating college. I wanted to love it, but it was just not the place for me.
I continued on with my college career, doing lots of driving too and from home to school on the weekends. I am now finishing up my sophomore year at the same school, but I am also still in the same situation. Always at home.
My entire life I have known I wanted to work in the medical field as an adult. My mom is a Physician Assistant and my dad is a Nurse Practitioner, and if I could follow in either of their footsteps I would be the happiest person in the world. When I went to college, I knew where I wanted to go, but I was just not sure of how to get there. The idea of medical school was beyond overwhelming, and frankly I am not enough of a competitive person to be a doctor. I decided I wanted to follow in my mom’s footsteps and become a Physician Assistant. I have watched her work for years, and I absolutely adore her job and her. She is the smartest person I know, and over the years I have learned that she is my best friend. I’m not sure if she knows it, and I will probably never admit it or say it out loud, but I look up to her more than anyone in the world.
After many semesters of trying to determine a major, I decided to take on the big role of becoming a neuroscience major. I mean, why not? I could read about the complexity of the brain all day. It’s amazing, and it will never cease to be my passion. My goal is to graduate as a neuroscience major, with a minor in psychology and nutrition. I pray to be accepted into a Physician Assistant graduate school, and make it through the program to be a successful PA.
I would do nearly anything in the entire world to be a PA one day. I want to be that person for someone. I want to help someone become pregnant, I want to help someone kill their cancer, I want to help someone find out what has been hurting them their entire life; I want to be that person to someone like my doctors were to me my entire life. Right now, I doubt myself so much. I have memory issues, I have attention issues, I can barely retain anything I study, I struggle to get out of bed each day, but I won’t give up. I have not given up for two years now, and I won’t do it this far in.
So that’s me. Yes, it’s stressful, it’s overwhelming, and it’s really fucking scary. But I’ll be successful one day. It is a constant battle, but I won’t give up.
Thank you all so much you allean so much to me 🥰🥰🥰🙌🙌🙌 #sograteful #thiscommunity #yourallamazing #wontgiveup (at South Bronx) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClmNrZzpyRc/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
What she said #wontgiveup #notsureifitskillingmeormakingmestronger #willdietrying https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce3zK6Yrqbt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. If you want to live a luxurious lifestyle , go for it ,work hard, don't let other's opinions get in the way. Listening to other's opinions and letting them get in the way won't get you closer to your goals. Remember that. #nevergiveup#wontgiveup#keepgoing#keephustling#keeppushing#keepgrinding#stayfocused#staymotivated#hardwork#selfdevelopment#quotestagram#quotes#champion#steveharvey#motivation https://www.instagram.com/p/CV9sa1whrbM/?utm_medium=tumblr
We're all on this earth for a limited period of time, so don't try to live an imitation that someone else puts on you. When you're sixty , are you going to be happy that you lived the way your parents wanted you to ? Or are you going to be happy of living your life the way you wanted to? No matter what your dream is there's going to be more failures than successes. The pain will last for a limited period of time but the the regret of giving up will haunt you forever. So keep grinding!!! #nevergiveup#wontgiveup#keepgoing#keepgrinding#keephustling#keeppushing#staymotivated#besilent#staycalm#chosenone#iwll#iwillkeepgoing#quotestagram#quotes#iwillmakeit https://www.instagram.com/p/CV9j7xLBoCy/?utm_medium=tumblr