#woo done

[ask-the-archs]

Boo! :3

*Gabriel blinks, memories flooding back to him them(?) as they(?) stare at MJ*

“Hey, sobrinho.”

*His their(?) mind is going a mile a minute and they(?) aren’t making eye contact with MJ*

[solely-ashes]

In his true element

(Click for higher quality, close up on kitty + reference picture under the cut)

Close up on softness 🥰

Inspiration (someone once sent this on one of the tma servers I'm in and for the life of me can't recall who or where it's originally from):

[local-triggerhead]

Otome Villainess Manga Recs

So recently I just discovered the gem that is the sub-genre otome villainess of the isekai genre. Normally, I hate isekai with a burning passion, but this sub-genre has changed that for me. It’s a normal isekai, but this time a chick got reincarnated as a villainess doomed to a bad end (usually involves death) in a generic otome game, and has to wiggle her ass out by any way possible. I’m gonna recommend some since there isn’t much activity here for a while now. But beware though, they’re isekai so originality is pretty much non-existent, and don’t bother to read the entire title.

1. I'm a Villainous Daughter, so I'm going to keep the Last Boss

(aka Villainous Daughter)

This one is the first and best manga I’ve seen of this sub-genre. Words can’t describe how much I love the protagonist, Irene. She ain't fuck with nobody and has balls of steel. As the antagonist, she doesn't get much support and mainly relies on her wit and intelligence. It’s interesting to watch the protagonist using their wit to gain allies, and intelligence to strategize their way towards a goal. To me personally, Irene is terribly fucking relatable. I nearly teared up for her at chapter 1.

It’s mainly a romance/comedy manga, and it’s been years since I last saw a good romance anime/manga (because most of them are cliché). The romance feels refreshing because the main ship generally communicates well, and the comedic timing is on point. The plot is presenting a good conflict right now, because the antagonists are more threatening than just being plain assholes. It currently has 8 chapters. Worth checking out.

2. Common Sense of a Duke’s Daughter

(aka Common Sense)

If you like something more serious, then this one probably suits your taste. It’s similar to Villainous Daughter, except the protagonist, Iris, has probably evaded her bad end for good and got sent to a fief as its lord. The manga hence contains a lot of textbook knowledge of economics. The vibes are more serious/mature than Villainous Daughter’s shenanigan vibes, and the romance is developed gradually, so it fits anyone who likes a slow-paced story. It currently has 47 chapters plus tons, tons of extra chapters. I haven’t read much of it to have anything to say for now.

3. The Villainess Wants to Marry a Commoner!!

(aka Marry Commoner)

This one is quite the opposite. The protagonist knows she’s a villainess years before the game campaign begins, but there isn’t much planning or scheming to evade the bad end, rather she’s just enjoying her life as of now. She decides to just avoid the heroine and her capture targets, and spend time with her love interest instead. The love interest is giving me some suspicious vibes though. Marry Commoner is great if you want something more laid-back. Currently has 5 chapters.

4. Of course, I'll claim Palimony!

(aka Palimony)

My second favourite in this list. This isn’t an isekai, but rather the protagonist, Yulia, is selling a prophetic manga that portrays her as the villainess. Yulia is a businesswoman who fucking loves money. That’s a love I can feel from the bottom of my heart. She doesn’t give a shit about her (ex)fiancé and the heroine because they’re braindead morons. Palimony is mainly about Yulia developing her business while the writer of the prophetic manga tries to set her up with a prince. Yulia just lets her do it because she doesn’t give two fucks about romance either. I like the topic of business and money a lot, so I’ll stick around. It currently has 5 chapters.

5. I Reincarnated into an Otome Game as a Villainess With Only Destruction Flags

(aka Bakarina)

Bakarina is similar to Marry Commoner where the protagonist, Katarina, realizes that she’s a villainess at an early age, years before the campaign begins. It gives her a strong head start and she uses it to work hard and make friends with the game characters. The manga basically runs on the power of friendship as Katarina solves every problem by making more friends. I got a little disappointed because this power is overused, especially towards the end. But overall, Bakarina is pretty strong. Currently has 21 chapters plus extras, and it’s up to what seems like the beginning of the final arc right now.

6. Fiancée's Observation Log of the Self-proclaimed Villainess

(aka Observation Log)

Something like Bakarina, but instead of trying to avoid the bad end, the protagonist, Bertia, hits the gas pedal and rams head first into it. She knows she’s the villainess and completely insists on following the game’s script, setting her fiancé up with the heroine. Like Katarina in Bakarina, she has also made friends with the game characters (but accidentally), and even though she claims to be evil, her friends love and want to protect her. Currently has 14 chapters.

That’s all. Enjoy.

[tragicism]

TAGGED BY: @dcngercuswoman TAGGING ( EIGHT PEOPLE ): @sicklxttlehearts @xstillsane @lespcir @jetblackpoison @lespcir @tiidalwavcs @inhalcyon @tvmmykisses

ONE ( NAME / ALIAS ): krystal or krys TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): march 6th THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): pisces FOUR ( HEIGHT ): 5′8″ FIVE ( TIME ):  23:50 PM SIX ( SLEEP ): i can’t live off less than 5 hours of sleep. literally i’m a zombie on just that SEVEN ( FAVORITE BOOKS ): the pendragon series EIGHT ( FAVORITE ARTISTS ): we the kings, ATL, one direction, 5sos, mayday parade, the maine, literally most pop punk bands from the 2000′s NINE ( LAST MOVIE WATCHED ): Jaws TEN ( COLLEGE ): I’m in my last Spring semester at Florida State University ELEVEN ( DREAM JOB ): sound designer for a touring band, or on Broadway TWELVE ( THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): tbh i have no idea. i just thought it sounded cool and was available. 

[ravenousnature]

My Thoughts on Reylo being Endgame

Many opinions have been flying around about the potential love interests for Rey after only ten days of the film’s release, with a large portion of the community leaning (unsurprisingly) to the darkside in the form of the Kylo Ren and Rey pairing. Many of the arguments against the pairing have already been posted (Incest, abuse...etc.) but I will be focusing primarily on why there is a good chance they may be the main love story of the next three episodes.

As many people have pointed out, there is a lot of evidence pointing towards Finn and Rey becoming a couple. They meet on Jakku in the midst of a huge action scene, they have a chemistry and connection that allows them to escape the First Order via the Millennium Falcon, Finn constantly trying to impress her and the obvious emotional reactions each of them have when either is knocked out and/or kidnapped. And all of this evidence would solidly place the two in a position where their relationship could evolve into a romance, but there is one factor that has to be considered;

This is a JJ Abrams production, and if there is one thing JJ Abrams hates above all else in a film, it is predictability. Rey and Finn are too predictable, and that is exactly what Mr. Abrams wants you to think, it’s a misdirection. This isn’t the first time he has used a tactic like this, it is seen in majority of his work (*cough cough Lost) but I will mainly be focusing on examples from Abram’s other major project, Star Trek and how some of the elements seen in those films may be utilized in Star Wars *Spoilers for Star Trek and Star Wars  ahead*  

One thing everyone can agree on at this point is that JJ is a ballsy guy. In the 2009 Star Trek film, a Romulan ship called the Nerada travels through a wormhole in space in order to kill commander Spock, the Vulcan they think is responsible for destroying their entire homeworld.But they arrive about 30 years too early. In the process,  they actually destroy the U.S.S Kelvin, which kills Captain Kirk (the main character of Star Trek’s) father, which results in an alternate timeline being formed. This is a very smart move on good ol’ JJ’s part because it gives him free reign to change everything in the original story without actually having to mess with the original canon because it is not the same universe anymore. The destruction of the Kelvin has huge repercussions on the rest of the story, resulting in Kirk growing up abused by his uncle, his mother depressed and estranged from him, which overall effects his personality and outlook on the world. He is angrier, darker, and far more rebellious and carefree than the original Kirk. Besides the personality changes, an alternate timeline means that fans and people who are familiar with the Star Trek story are unable to predict where the storyline is heading. It becomes a “surprise.”

A Film Theory episode came out recently about Luke going to the darkside, and explored in depth why JJ would be willing to go down that road, but in sum, JJ’s philosophy on films is that the story, characters, and conclusion should be a “mystery box” that is eventually revealed to the audience but it constantly leaves them guessing up until the very end. He even cites the original Star Wars as an example, explaining how the opening shots of Leia (who we know nothing about) gives R2D2 a drive telling him to find Obi-wan Kenobi (Who we’ve never seen) while the motives, goals and conflicts of any character, faction or group remains hidden, prompting several questions that aren’t answered right away.

It is with that principle in mind that Abrams was able to destroy Spock’s home planet with the 6 billion Vulcans on it, endangering his species as well as killing his human mother Amanda, a prominent character in the original show and movies without anyone seeing it coming. it came out of left field, and was a shock that fans couldn’t really complain about because of the fact that it was an alternate dimension. But Abrams used this “shock value” concept again in TFA by having Kylo Ren kill his father, something Luke was unable to do in the original trilogy. It is heartbreaking because it is unexpected, and the audience has very little time to process the event because Han immediately falls into the depths of Starkiller base without saying a proper goodbye.

Why is any of this important? Because it gives us insight into JJ’s character. Like I said he’s  a ballsy director, and this is not only seen in the unexpected character deaths and destruction of planets throughout his films, but in romance as well.

In the first Star Trek movie JJ directed, it is revealed pretty early on that Kirk has a thing for Uhura. They meet in a bar, he asks her for her name which she only tells him her last name (Uhura) they banter a lot with Kirk making many flirtatious comments that the audience assumes she will reciprocate in time, and she even walks in on him having sex with her roommate at the academy. The formula of their interactions, the types of language and imagery used that is most commonly seen in the romance trope gives the audience the impression that the two will end up together.

But this is not the case.

In one jaw-dropping scene that paralyzed the most devoted of Trekkies, Uhura passionately kisses Spock before he beams down to the planet below, and he reciprocates in kind, murmuring her first name, “Nyota” as Kirk watches on with the same amount of confusion as everyone in the theater.

Uhura wasn’t turning down Kirk’s attempts at wooing her because she was playing hard-to-get, but because she already had a boyfriend. Holy. Crap.

Spock and Uhura? who would have thought? No one, because they barely had any interactions in the show that insinuated an attraction beyond that of being acquaintances. It is far more likely, far more predictable,  to assume that Uhura would fall for the charming bad-boy Kirk instead of the emotionally void (but sometimes violent) Spock who would most likely believe a relationship between co-workers to be “illogical”. But that’s why JJ did it, because literally no one would see it coming.

Once again, there are many parallels in TFA that we can already see forming that are reminiscent of certain JJ-isms from other films. Finn and Rey meet, and they seem absolutely perfect for each other, following the whole boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl gets taken away, boy tries to get her back, boy and girl overcome obstacle, boy gets hurt,  boy and girl return home. Girl then goes on epic quest and leaves the boy she cares for behind.  it is not exactly a damsel in distress story, but  the audience naturally believes that the next progression for the two will be love. The story is structured in such a way that it is impossible to believe anything else can happen.

Haha. Nice try, this is Abrams we’re talking about, and as demonstrated by Star Trek that means they are doomed to stay in the friendzone or something far worse.

So who would fit the bill then? If Star Wars is a cycle doomed to repeat itself with each new trilogy possessing at least one love story, then exactly who can appeal to JJ’s “mystery box” philosophy?

The answer is Kylo Ren.

You see, JJ’s choices may seem shocking and strange, but they never are outside the realm of possibility. The reason why Spock and Uhura end up together is because Kirk joined Starfleet way after the original Kirk did, meaning they hadn’t formed a friendship that may have influenced the original characters to not even consider a romantic relationship with each other. In TFA Rey and Ren have already demonstrated that they have a connection via the force, and whatever Rey’s past may be (a mystery box) it is somehow related to Kylo Ren. You may argue that Rey possessing Skywalker blood is the answer, which would make Ren and Rey cousins but I am not really convinced that is true.

Yes, it was a shock when Darth Vader revealed that Luke was his son in the original trilogy, but that in itself has become predictable. “I am Your Father” has been used in pop culture so frequently that it is redundant and clearly something JJ has considered. If Rey really is Luke’s daughter than her past is revealed and it no longer captures the type of mind-blowing power Darth Vader and Luke’s moment had. With JJ, you cannot trust what may seem obvious to you, because there is always a twist. (See Cumberbatch’s reveal of “I am Khan” in Star Trek: Into Darkness)

What does this mean then? Well, a relationship between Ren and Rey remain in the realm of possibility and her origins do not result in the same incest-infused confusion that left a generation flabbergasted and a little grossed out. It becomes a tension-fuelled, emotionally gripping tale of two people from opposite sides of a war (the fight scene when the earth literally splits them apart was a little on the nose there, Abrams) who are struggling with the Light and Dark that exists inside of them, each trying to purge that little  bit of remaining light/dark within them to become pure. However, as the war trudges on and each becomes stronger with their training ( Ren with Snoke and Rey with Luke) the weird pull they have towards each other will also grow stronger. Rey has already proven she is stronger than Ren, and her influence over him will most likely penetrate deeper than any other character. Compassion seems to be the key in Star Wars and as noted in the novel, Ren has already shown to have compassion for Rey. Darth Vader is one of those strange characters that went to the dark side for love and returned to the light for love when he saved Luke, redeeming himself with his dying breath.  So who's to say that Ren, a man who literally wants to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps would not return to the light for love, falling for a girl whose powers exceed his own and whose influence will leave a lasting impression?

So, even though a relationship between them seems impossible as they have totally different personalities and motives, is it really that hard to believe?  It’s hard-pressed to say at the moment, But when it comes to JJ, anything can be fair game.

So don’t lose hope Reylo shippers! you guys may be on to something after all!

[bonesofthesound]

m e e t   t h e   m u s e .

REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG.

t h e    b a s i c s .

name.  Kimimaro nickname(s).  Kimi age. 15 (in canon verse at least) species.  Human

p e r s o n a l .

morality.  lawful / neutral / chaotic  /  good / gray / evil religious belief. N/A

sins.  lust / greed / gluttony / sloth / pride / envy / wrath

virtues. chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice primary goals in life.  To fulfill his purpose. languages known.   English and Japanese secrets. When he was younger, he was a very kind and sweet person, and he still likes flowers. quirks.  Seemingly emotionless, his urge to kill those he sees as weak. savvies.  Strength, Taijutsu skill, and utilization of his cursed seal.  

p h y s i c a l .

build. slender / scrawny / bony / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / babyfat / pudgy / obese / other height. 5′5 weight.  109 lbs scars/birthmarks. None except for his curse mark due to the fast that his skin seems to heal relatively quickly from any wound. abilities/powers.  Can form extra bones at will. Cursed Seal which allows him enhanced power and a second form. restrictions.   His illness weakens him, preventing him from using his full strength.

f a v o u r i t e s .

favourite food. no favorite food favourite drink.  Any tea favourite pizza topping.  has never had pizza favourite colour.  Red favourite music genre.  Never really had a chance to listen to music favourite book genre.  Hasn’t really read any books favourite movie genre.  Never seen a movie favourite season.  Spring favourite curse word.  No favorite curse word favourite scent.  Lavender

f u n  s t u f f .

bottom or top.  Never did that loud burper or soft burper.  Soft sings in the shower.  yes / no likes bad puns.  yes / no

their opinion on the mun.  “He seems alright.”

was tagged by.  blindsunshxne Tags: electric-kunoichi shuyukiamurosa the-sannin-orochimaru

[illwynd]

My Life as a Palimpsest 4/4 (AO3) (4k words)

Summary: After Thor’s unexpected visit went unexpectedly well, Loki goes about trying to follow through on his promises. But he’s not the only one whose future is on the line, and the other Loki may have something to say about it.

Contains: graphic violence, rape, dub-con, non-consensual bondage, first time, size kink, breathplay, choking, gags, violent sex, heavy angst, feels (these cover the entire fic, not just this part).

Spoilers for Loki: Agent of Asgard #8-13

Part 4: Or the text can burn (This part is set during the same timeframe as L:AoA #12 and #13)

It was a story of Loki.

A story of a god who twice over sacrificed himself (along with countless others) to finally have a chance to change, and found that it didn’t make any difference at all.

A story of a god who lived out that bitter truth as Asgard’s perennial villain, ever-present, ever-defeated, until the very end.

A story of a god who was trapped in a cage for aeons and finally found a way to slip through the bars.

It was a story of Loki, and Loki found a way to change it.

But he was discovering that there were some strange and unexpected things about walking back into his own tale, rewriting bits and rearranging the words and getting ink stains on his fingers. The parts where the characters got away from him, for one.

Las Vegas had been the first time he’d really noticed.

“Well, that’s not like I remember,” he mused, one eyebrow raised, as he watched from afar while Thor tied his squirming brother down on a bed in a casino hotel room. The other eyebrow joined it as Thor shoved his fingers up his own ass and started whining about centuries of frustration.

“Your own fault, you arrogant, thickheaded buffoon,” he told the shimmering image, annoyed, “given that you never bothered to mention any of this. Blaming me for not reading your mind—that isn’t really fair, you know.”

But he’d watched the rest with his hands clutching tight to the arms of his throne in the depths of Asgardia’s dungeons. He sputtered out a few curses as it went on.

His eyes went wide as an obviously pent-up Thor rode his obviously eager younger self (and oh, how amusingly brief that resistance had been), and wider as Thor put one hand to his own cock and another to the starry-eyed young hero’s throat and squeezed.

“What are you doing?” Loki muttered, aghast, though he wasn’t sure who this was directed at.

The Thor in his own past had never—Loki could not even imagine it, could only remember the centuries of battles and hatred, the endless acrimony. And while he knew that he had once lusted after his brother, he had left that ridiculous emotion behind ages ago, on the dustpile of everything else he’d abandoned when he finally understood the nature of his cage and who it was that held the key.

It had been so long that he didn’t recognize the uneasy, quivering tension that settled inside him as he watched Thor come all over the younger Loki’s struggling chest. He only understood that this was not the story he’d meant to tell, and he was going to have to change it.

Even after Thor left, Loki occupied himself for a good hour by re-tightening the knots with a flick of his fingers every time the little fool succeeded in loosening them, while his mind wandered and he tried to decide what to do.

If the characters were going to misbehave, then it seemed he was going to have to do a little scribbling in the margin to force them back in line.

So he’d picked the perfect moment. Arranged himself in the perfect place. Waited, buzzing with giddy anticipation, for Thor to arrive. And then, ah, the sheer thrill of so easily capturing Thor, so easily overpowering him, stealing him away and chaining him and knowing that he could do whatever he liked and Thor could not stop him.

It had been worth it for that alone, and the Thor of this time was such a tender young thing that Loki wanted to devour him.

In the midst of it all Loki began to realize he really had forgotten.

He’d hated Thor for so long that he’d forgotten where it started. He’d forgotten dealing with year after year of Thor’s ambivalence, Thor eyeing him with cold reproach whenever he stayed away, rolling his shoulders as if to shrug Loki off whenever he stood too near. Forever reminding him that he was the god of lies, even when he opened his mouth to say something true. To maybe, finally, tell Thor how he felt.

And now at last he understood why. Thor had done that to him because—because—

He had never enjoyed anything more than when he shoved inside and tore from Thor’s throat a sound of pain, and he watched in fascination as the mighty Thor’s broad shoulders trembled with misery and rage, and he could have bottled that and drunk it. He’d pawed at Thor’s flesh, feeling how much Thor hated his touch, and wanted to tear him to shreds then and there.

But no. No. He wouldn’t do that, because that wasn’t part of the story. In the story he was telling, Thor lost and Loki won.

He paused mid-stroke and took a deep, calming breath.

Thor was lucky that he had so much practice at keeping a grip on himself in the face of the extreme provocation that Thor's existence provided. Thor was lucky that he restrained himself to just a few casual taunts and such a little bit of damage.

With so much on the line, it simply wouldn’t do for him to get all emotional.

*

Two days later, upon his throne, King Loki was practically vibrating with fury.

He had been watching the whole time. He’d started out spying on his younger self’s endless pathetic wallowing, wondering whether it was time for him to make his grand entrance, whether the kid was ready to listen yet. But then Thor showed up, and Loki had found himself grinning, smirking. After what he’d done to Thor—well, there was so much he’d done to Thor, wasn’t there? From young Loki’s great crimes to his own little peccadilloes—after all of that, this was bound to be good.

Loki snickered into his hands as the sight of Thor’s barely restrained hatred and the young fool’s comical look of terror at his arrival.

He bent forward, rapt, unwilling to miss a moment of this unexpected twist.

His smile fell by increments, until at last he found himself gaping in horror at the sight of his young self leaning in for a kiss, and Thor letting him, moaning into his mouth and pulling him close.

The scream of rage that erupted from Loki’s throat at that moment should have frightened entire realms. It made the shimmering green sphere of light in which he watched them shiver.

Loki had done all of this to win. He had done it because he had come to the end of time, with an aeon of waging endless futile battle against his brother under his belt, and it was going to end without anything changing at all. He had come back here to change the story for his own benefit, so that Loki would triumph.  

He had not done it to watch as the naive little idiot spoiled all his plans by falling into Thor’s arms like a swooning maiden.

He had not done it so that this Loki could get everything he had once wanted.

Fury roared like a bonfire inside him, rising higher as he watched the two precious cooing lovebirds part their sad ways, making eyes at each other all the while.

He fumed upon his shadowy throne, conjuring small trinkets just so that he could break them, hurl them at the walls and shatter them in his rage.

He would put an end to this. This was his story. It would be his victory. And it was going to happen his way, even if he had to burn the little wretch to cinders to do it.    

*

As Loki began the work of trying to rebuild his life and really become better this time so that he could prove it to Thor, he decided that Verity would be a good place to start. And if he succeeded, then at least he would have one friend to support him through the rest of it.

However, Verity didn’t seem to be home when he ventured down the hallway to her door.

Loki wasn’t completely sure whether she really, truly wasn’t there or if she just wasn’t answering his knock. But he had come prepared for this eventuality. He’d managed somehow to find a pad of paper and pen that had survived the destruction of his apartment, and he’d written out a note.

In it he’d explained himself, and he tried not to let it turn into excuses. He’d apologized, but he’d told her he didn’t expect that would make things better. He’d told her she was right: he had been selfish and thoughtless. He’d used her, and then he’d thrown her away. He’d been a terrible friend. He’d owned up to it all as best he could and said that if she was ever willing to give him a chance to make it up to her, he would. And then he’d folded the thing and sealed it with a puff of magic so that only she could read it, and he’d slipped it under her door, hoping it would at least be a start toward healing his mistakes.

All he could do was try, really try this time, because he owed it to the people he cared about. 

He’d started to feel a bit better about everything by the time he was heading back to his own door, so he didn’t notice the way the hairs rose on the back of his neck as he turned the knob.

As soon as he stepped inside, a claw of a hand came to rest on his shoulder.

Things happened quickly then.

Two Lokis fought, like two snakes coiling against each other, strikes too fast to track, one swift and slender green, the other dull and dark and powerful.

The younger was fueled by self-preservation, the energy of youth, sheer outrage on his own behalf and on his brother’s, the memory of Thor’s voice resonating in his bones and making him fight harder, fiercer, than he could ever remember before.

But the elder was driven by a darker malice, and the tenacity and skill of one who’d fought his way through the millennia alone. He had strength for the fight and magic to spare, the walls dimming and shifting around them as they struggled, and when the electric Midgardian lighting gave way to flicker of sconces, they were someplace else. Someplace darker and colder. And the younger Loki was caught by chains that dangled from the ceiling.

The older Loki stood over him, glaring with a fiery animosity utterly unlike his previous air of insufferable smug.

Loki glared right back. “I should kill you for what you did to Thor, you wrinkled old bastard.”

The other Loki answered with a fist to his cheekbone, hard and fast. Only then did he bother to retort.

“Kill me? I was trying to give you everything, you brainless little twit! What I would have given to have someone—my kindly, generous older self, maybe—tell me exactly what I needed to do in order to win! To practically hand it to me on a platter! But noooo,” he mocked, sneering. “You had to decide you knew better! You had to cave in and give our self-righteous cretin of a brother exactly—what—he—wanted!”

These last words were punctuated with more strikes, each one whipping Loki’s head back and making stars burst in his vision.

Muzzy and dazed, Loki found it all made a certain kind of sense.

He remembered being fascinated when he’d first encountered this older, darker version of himself, his suspicions about the jar fulfilled. At first it had been a mystery, a knot to be untangled. He’d wanted to know what had brought him back, doubting that the answer would be a nice one but unable to keep himself from flipping the pages to find out the rest of the story. And even more compelling, there’d been the sense of inexorable recognition, memory’s opposite, its mirror image, the feeling of seeing what he might become. The feeling of someone overwriting the page yet again. He'd needed to know. 

It was just his luck that it would lead to this. He always was his own worst enemy.

“—and why? What do you think you’ll get out of it? You believe that if you show Thor how pathetically sorry you are, he’ll love you and forgive you and bring you roses? Maybe when the rest of Asgard still kicks you and calls you a lying murderer, he’ll let you screw his brains out sometimes, as a consolation prize!” he screamed, spittle flying. “But that’s not how it works. Nothing is going to change. Loki is the god of lies, and even Thor, no matter what he says now or how kind you think he is, will never let you forget it! He will never let you forget that you are beneath him!”

“You’re… wrong…” Loki answered, breathless from pain and the hits he’d taken to the gut, blows that would have doubled him over if he hadn’t been chained.

And that time, when his future self struck, he felt something crack. Loki thought—rather distantly—that this was probably not a good development.  

His head lolled, too difficult to hold upright and the dizziness too great to be sure which way that was, and when next he took a breath—his ribs hurt, sending knives of agony up into his shoulders—he sputtered and almost choked on the fluid that had already pooled in his throat. And then when he spat it out, he heard something plink on the floor, and his tongue discovered the empty spot among his front teeth.

Oh.

And then there was just the sound of dripping, and the older Loki’s panting, wheezing breaths.

Loki steeled himself for more blows, but they didn’t come.

“Well, that was a bit excessive, I suppose,” the older Loki said lightly, “but it was cathartic.”

Loki really hated him.

“And now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I think it’s time that I tell you our story, the one you would be living if I hadn't come back to rewrite it into something better. When I finish telling you, you’ll be glad I went to all this trouble. You’ll know that I’m right.”

Loki found himself barely listening, and not just because of the distracting throb in his swollen, bruised eyebrow and the nauseating taste of blood on his tongue.

His elder self—his more powerful, more experienced self, steeped in rage and hardened by it, bitter and twisted beyond recognition—would not stop, unless Loki stopped him. So Loki would have to face himself, trickster versus trickster, and he would have to go up against him alone, with few allies and fewer friends, mistrusted and outcast. While any wrong move would be a strike against him.

But it was what he had to do, and not because he needed to prove himself or to show everyone that he had changed. It wasn’t for himself at all. It was for Thor. For what would happen if he failed, if he let that bitterness win.

He would just have to be the best trickster he could be, whatever that might mean. 

“You’re going to burn, little Loki, just like I did,” he heard dimly, as if from outside himself, his elder self’s grinning voice only a distant threat.

Maybe that was true. Perhaps he would.

Odin had told him that this would be his time of trial. Odin had said this would be his time of fire. But Loki had the one thing he needed to face the flames and walk through them: his brother was waiting for him on the other side.

He had to believe that sometimes not everything burns.

  Epilogue

Thor was standing in the hallway of an apartment building in Manhattan, staring at the wall where Loki's door had been, when footsteps approached behind him.

It was not Loki, of course; he'd known it would not be. Thor’s heart dropped a little anyway.

"Miss Willis," he said.

Verity eyed him from a few paces away, wary, and didn’t return the greeting. Thor could hardly blame her; when last they’d met, Verity had seen him beating Loki to a pulp. She had even been brave enough to try to stop him, a mortal shouting back at an enraged Asgardian god to try to save her friend.

Thor met her gaze solemnly as she sized him up again now.  

After a moment, she sighed.

"I haven’t seen him. I got home to find a note slipped under my door, and I came up here the next day—not because I was ready to forgive him, but at least we could have talked about it—and... it was like this. I've been down to the building office and there was never an apartment here. Apparently."

In the empty wall before them there was no sign of a door. There was no magic involved here, no concealment, no trick. Thor could sense that. Loki’s apartment simply was not there.

"I've tried his cell phone, too, and nothing," Verity added, pushing her hair out of her face with a sound of frustration. "At this point I'm really hoping he turns up with some crazy story so I can go back to being mad at him for being a thoughtless jerk. But I'm starting to worry that he won't."

Thor frowned. “How long?”

“A week ago yesterday,” she said. Then, brows drawing together in suspicion, “Why were you looking for him?”

A week. Almost the entire time since they had parted.

A week that he had spent mourning, because that was where he needed to begin, mourning his brother who was dead.

By the third day, he had found himself mourning two of them, and missing another.

By the seventh, he’d needed to see Loki again.

"I too was ready to talk to him, even if not yet ready to forgive," Thor answered.

The mortal woman gave him a dubious look, a little uncertain. “I’m not sure what you’re lying about, but you are.”

Thor frowned. “My apologies, Verity. If there was a lie in that, I am not sure I know it. I did only come to speak with him. We met again, the day after he confessed to the both of us, and we spoke then as well. When we parted we were at peace, though not wholly reconciled.” After a moment’s pause he went on. “And I am sorry to have frightened you. Your attempt to defend him was admirable, and I am glad he has such a friend.”

Verity looked away, uncomfortable, arms folded across her middle. “Yeah, thanks. I get the impression that hanging around Loki isn’t always for the fainthearted.”

The corners of Thor’s mouth lifted, though it was too pained to be called a smile.

On the second day of his mourning, Thor had grieved for the child Loki, and he had raged, within himself, at the one who had killed him. He had wept openly and recalled to his mind every memory he could of the carefree, courageous little trickster who had made him smile, who had brightened his days, who had filled his chest with a warm, fond glow.

My brother, as he should have been.

And then at some point he had wondered where the last true memories of that boy ceased and when the memories of the murderer in his place began.

The thought had been a knife to the gut, that he’d never known, that he had sensed no difference. And he’d raged and wept all the harder for it.

On the fourth day, he had thought of the murderer again and just for a moment he imagined what would have been if he had been able to do it. If he had been able to wreak justice upon him for what he’d done.

There would be no more Loki-of-the-future, or at least the thousands of years of hatred and ruin that he had claimed would never come to pass, whether they might have or no.

But the thought caused Thor’s heart to ache, hollowly.

Just as it did now, to find Loki unexpectedly gone.

“So… do you have any idea what could have happened to him?” Verity asked into the almost funereal pall that had fallen in the quiet hallway. “Did he… did he tell you anything? Does this have something to do with everything that’s been going on with him?”

Thor hesitated.

It was possible that there was some other reason behind his disappearance. Perhaps Loki had fled of his own accord and covered his steps behind him. It was even possible this was part of some scheme.

But the heaviness in the center of Thor’s being said it was not. That this was something worse, tangled in Loki-who-would-be, whose plan had perhaps been on the verge of failure the day before Loki disappeared.

Thor thought of Loki and his vengeful future self clashing in some sorcerous battle, and tried to imagine what must have happened to leave nothing behind but a bare wall.

“I am uncertain,” Thor said. “But I fear it may be bad.”

A little shudder passed through Verity’s shoulders and she bit at her lip.

“Is there anything we can do?”

If Thor’s fear was right, Loki could be anywhere. If he lived. If he still existed at all.

Thor shook his head. “I would not know where to begin.”

On the fifth day, Thor had woken from a dream in which Loki was kissing him again, waking a thousand years of dead hopes and slain dreams with warm lips sweet upon his. He had tried to put the thought aside, but all through the day it had come back to him, over and over, again and again. The look on Loki’s face as he’d crawled near, the feel of him scrambling to be nearer, to be as close as possible, bodies pressed together as if they should never be apart.

But those daydreams, like the memory they recalled, ended in the same place, with him pushing Loki away, heart pounding in his chest. He could not accept it yet. He was still grieving. He was still angry. He was not yet ready to feel anything else for him.

At the end of the sixth day, those feelings had not changed. But he could no longer deny that he was also in love with his brother, just as he had always been, and that he was almost sick with longing.

But when he had at last forced himself to return to Midgard to tell him so… he found that Loki was no longer there to hear.

“But we should have hope. My brother is resilient, and he is resourceful,” Thor added, as much for his own benefit as for Verity’s. “Whatever has happened, he will triumph. He will come back.”

“Yeah, he is, and I’m glad you really believe that,” Verity said with a quirk of a grin. “So, um, if you hear from him first, will you let me know? Or tell him to get in touch?”

Thor nodded. “Aye. If you will do likewise for me.”  

Verity nodded back at him. And then the mortal woman’s steps trailed away, leaving Thor alone in the hallway again.

Thor had to believe it.

He remembered Loki’s fervent promises. The feel of him clasping Thor’s hand between his own and kissing Thor’s fingers to seal his vow. The hopefulness in his face and the love rolling off him in waves. He remembered how his own heart ached, so near to everything he’d wanted for a thousand years.

So he had to believe he would see Loki again.

He had to believe that Loki would return, and that those things would still be true when he did.

***

[befriande]

2 and 7!

2 - Villains

Medusa (Soul Eater), Azula (ATLA), Melancholia St. Clair (Skulduggery Pleasant), Cora Mills (OUAT),  Darquesse (SP), Perona (One Piece)

7 - That I’d invite to a sleepover/dinner party

Martha Jones (Doctor Who), Asami Sato (Legend of Korra), Winry Rockbell (FMA), Valkyrie Cain (SP), Ahiru (Princess Tutu)