A round alarm clock rang next to him, making him cover his face with his pillow and groan in frustration. “I don’t want to go to work,” Mayday complained, tugging his blanket even closer to him. Being part of the Coruscant Guard who was assigned to the call centre on the Republic’s capital planet, the idea of dealing with madness from his callers makes him gag.
Trained as a sniper back on Kamino, he was the cream of the crop, literally. Like the rest of his brothers, Mayday has tanned skin and brown eyes, with his hair dyed blond and tied into a high ponytail. Despite that, he was given one of the worst jobs that a clone could not dream of. Dealing with idiots on comlinks.
Every single day of his life, Mayday had to deal with a huge tumour inside his head whenever someone called him. He felt like cutting the end of the line, but at the same time, he didn’t have any other choice. If he complains to his superiors, such as Admiral Tarkin, he might get assigned to the worst job in the Grand Army of the Republic, cleaning duty. That’s the last thing he wanted in his life.
But for now, he had to put on a straight face and head to work. Mayday grabbed his red-painted armour that was hanging on the side of his bunk and put it on, before wearing his helmet. He got out of his quarters and headed to the mess hall, pouring himself a cup of black caf.
Another day, another caf, he said to himself, as he sat down on his desk and opened his comlink while holding his mug when he felt a sudden pat on his pat.
“Hey Mayday,” Harley spoke, grinning at him. “I see you look sleepy, as usual.”
“Shit, Harley,” he shouted, almost spilling his caf on his armour. “Don’t scare me like that next time.”
“Oh cheer up, Mayday. You’re so uptight sometimes.”
He rolled his eyes at his sister as he focused on the computer screen in front of him. Harley and Mayday were quite close together, their friendship going back to Kamino where they were both in the same batch.
Unlike Mayday, Harley was a clone of Krystal Mereel, who had darker skin, a flat nose, and frizzy hair, which was dyed in pink and blue to match her favourite comic book character, who was a popular villain. She was cheerful and feisty, who tries her best to give positive vibes to her brother, despite not asking for one.
That doesn’t mean he hates her, though. They do love each other, but at the same, he gets annoyed by her never-ending speech about things that he doesn’t even want to hear about every second.
“Mayday,” she snapped her fingers constantly in front of his face, catching his attention. “Are you there?”
“Yes, Harley, I’m here,” he answered, deadpanned. “Also, don’t you have a job to do right now?”
“I’ll do it later,” complained Harley, sitting beside him. “Besides, life is too short to worry too much on small things, you know.”
He just sighed at her remarks. As much as she makes a good point, their superior, Commander Fox, would have a big headache dealing with a slacker like her. As Mayday scrolled through the HoloNet, he received his first call from someone. Oh my God, I wonder who’s calling right now?
“Coruscant Call Centre, how can I help you?” he replied to the call, with a fake smile plastered on his face. He prays for the call to end as soon as possible, but alas, that is only a dream that is unachievable for a clone like him.
“Hey, is this Coruscant Call Centre?” a deep, male voice asked, which made one of Mayday’s eyes twitch. No, this is the Children’s Department, thank you very much.
“Yes, sir,” he refrained himself from making a sarcastic comment in the morning. “This is the Coruscant Call Centre. How can I help you, sir?”
“Uh yeah, I think I have a situation here.”
It better be an urgent one, or I’ll kick your ass. “What kind of situation, sir?”
“Well, you see, I just returned home when I found a tooka destroying my couch.”
Harley and Mayday exchanged looks of amusement and held in their laughter. “Well, sir, that’s tookas for you. They love scratching things, especially couches.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not my tooka.”
“Well, in that case, sir, may I suggest you call animal control? I’m sure they know how to address this problem.”
“Oh, well, alright then. Thank you for your time then.”
As the line was cut off, both of them burst into laughter as Mayday filled up another cup of caf. “I must admit, that was hilarious.”
“Yeah,” Harley laughed along. “I mean, a tooka somehow ending up in your house and ruining your couch? That makes a good comedy on the NecFlic.”
“I agree with you, Har, know nowadays, it’s difficult to find good series down there, if you know what I mean.”
“That is true,” she shrugged, chewing on her toffee sweets that she stole from Thorn’s candy bowl, without anyone noticing. “Nowadays, it’s just lousy sequels for lousy movies and cancellation of actually good series.”
“Yeah, like what happened to Days Ahead? That was the best sitcom, but NecFlic decided to make the second ‘Kissing Scene’ movie instead. I mean, that movie was shitty and problematic.”
“Let’s not talk about that movie,” she scoffed. “Romantic comedy, my ass. It wasn’t even that good anyway.”
“Yeah,” he smiled, when he received another call, which made him breathe. “Coruscant Call Centre, how can I help you?”
“Hey, is this Coruscant Call Centre?” a high-pitched, male voice spoke. Mayday blinked a couple of times before he could answer his question that was asked millions of times. He was a few seconds away from tossing his comm right across his room, but that would spell decommission for him and his job.
“Yes, this is Coruscant Call Centre. How can I help you, sir?”
“Just wondering, but what do you do for a living?”
“Say that we shove people’s ass for a living,” Harley mouthed, inserting her fist inside her mug.
“Well, sir,” Mayday decided to ignore his sister’s remarks. “We’re here to answer your calls and do our best to help you out with your problems, big or small.”
She slapped her forehead and let out a groan. This is going to be the most exciting conversation I’ll ever watch outside NecFlec.
“Oh, well, I have a couple of problems that I need help addressing.”
“Okay then, sir,” Mayday took a deep breath. “What kind of problems do you have for us to solve?”
“Well, it’s about this girl I saw in school,” the recipient began his story. “Her name is Veronica, and she’s really popular in school and I think I have a humongous crush on her. How do I let her know that I love her?”
For a moment, Mayday was speechless. This man, no, not a man. He’s too young to be a man. Well, this boy dares to call up the Coruscant Call Centre, which was meant to reach out for urgent help, to ask for dating advice to woo a girl that he hardly knows? His fish clenched on his desk and the smile on his face disappeared.
He only had two hours of sleep. He just finished another round of coffee, and he needs another right now so that he can give a smack on the boy’s head. Some people just want to create chaos in the world, and this boy is the perfect epitome of the word.
“Look, kid, if you want dating advice, then go ask someone else,” Mayday scolded the boy. “This call is only meant for emergencies, okay? Good day.”
He cut the line and took off his helmet, rubbing his temple with his fingers. Harley, who was watching the entire skit, chuckled at his misfortunes. “Well, Mayday, I hate to say I told you so, but yeah, I told you so.”
“Do you ever shut up, Harley?” he replied, in a snarky manner. “Do you?”
“Admit it, Mayday,” she nudged his ribs. “You could have put down that call when you had a chance but no, you decided to go on and ended up with some stupid kid who has hormonal problems, Mayday, so yeah. You should have ignored them.”
“Whatever, Harley. It’s not like you helped me or something.”
She chuckled at his remarks. “Oh, please. I asked you to tell him that we shove people’s asses for a living but you didn’t do that.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. As I said before, you don’t help that much anyway.”
Harley tightened her lips. He knows what he’s referring to, and she had no other choice but to bring it up in their conversation between them. “Look, Mayday, if it’s about that stupid mug that you drank coffee with every day then-”
“Actually, yes, it is about that mug that you broke it.”
“Oh my gosh, vod, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to break your favourite mug.”
“Well, you did,” he turned to his computer. “And you owe me a new mug because of your carelessness.”
“Mayday, I got you a new mug two weeks ago,” Harley pointed out. “I mean, it even has your name written on it twice.”
He glanced at his mug, which says ‘Mayday, Mayday’ twice and twitched his lips. “Well, it’s a terrible mug that you got me.”
She jabbed her fingers on his forehead, prompting him to yelp dramatically. “Ouch!”
“I didn’t even hit you that hard,” Harley stuck her tongue out. “You’re such a drama king.”
“And you're the most annoying piece of shit I’ve ever encountered.”
“Why thank you, smartass.”
“You’re welcome, asshat.”
Before Harley could open her mouth, she and Mayday heard another phone call. With another sigh, he took a seat and answered the call. “Coruscant Call Centre, how can I help you?”
“My tooka is stuck on the tree,” an old lady told him. “Could you help me, please?”
He gave a glance to Harley, who bobbed her head in approval and gave a thumbs up. “In this case, I will redirect you to the fire department of Coruscant so please be-”
“Actually, sir, my grandson tried to climb the tree to grab my cat and now he’s also stuck as well.”
Both Mayday and Harley gleamed at each other before he composed himself from dying of chortling. Well, I am confident that the fire department will be entertained for the whole day.
