Cop-Con 1983
Something that crossed my dash this week - and it's still needling me days later, so I'm going to throw something new into the ether on it.
I was stunned to find out Fanlore had an entry on Cop-Con. David Lubkin had been so kind to pass some photos he'd taken at the banquet to me, frankly I hadn't been in a frame of mind to care even if any were being taken at the time I hadn't known there were any. That was about a year or so ago.
Since then, the Hanky Panky archives have been added, it would seem. That letterzine - by invitation, hush-hush-don't-you-dare-TELL ANYONE - letterzine, is now public and available for viewing. Anyone in that, go tell Fanlore if you have any objections. I was never on that list, and never saw what they said about me.
I find myself rather nonplussed. *I* wasn't happy about how the convention tailed out, to be blunt - but Paula Smith had been supportive, consoling me with 'but it was your baby, and you did it in spite of everything - you can be proud of that.'
Annie Yeager and Dave Yeager came in at the last moment to staff the con when everybody poofed on me. They had neither interest or knowledge of the material, and they ran the dealers room and art show. Yes, we had them. We had *no* other staff, if someone needed a potty break, the room closed while we got one.
I ran the video room all by myself. Matter of fact, I had intended not to sleep so I could keep the videos going - when I found myself neatly tucked into bed - still in my clothes, still in the video room, with everything turned off - I was livid, apologized profusely and got things underway with the understanding that was not to happen again.
I was told to have things. Like a first night reception. My mother spent three days making baklava for me. I baked carrot cake one night - all night - because I couldn't afford the catering - for a reception NOBODY CAME TO. I put the food in the video room and let people have at it.
I was approached regarding the art auction with "please, let us help you?" Of course I accepted, thanked them from the bottom of my heart and grateful? Seriously.
I happily drove Leslie Fish around Los Angeles after the con closed, she was the only one who took me up on the offer to go visit locations. She sang me so many wonderful songs. Very much the reward, sez I.
As far as paying artists at auction time - folks, I was the bank. I said no sleep. Also, I'd never participated in one of these before, and was completely caught flat-footed. When I got back to the ability to process checks/money orders the Monday after, those were the first things to hit the mail, even before I got reimbursed for my expenses. You know what? That's on me. I wasn't prepared for that. I was all alone.
I still managed to send $350 to Children of the Night. We've had a relationship since then, I'm proud to say.
I was barely old enough to sign contracts. Cop-Con was a month before my 23rd birthday. Terri Librande helped design the con, and Franny Moore-Kyle was one of the people who advised me (thank you both), but nobody local - except for Annie and Dave - came to my rescue to help run the con, and if people stepped up during the event? Relief, you have no idea. I accepted any offers with both hands and grateful beyond words.
Hanky Panky, by its nature, was never to be shared with the public at large, and folks truly thought they had the privacy to let fly at will. Looks like they had a lot of will, and without me present to defend myself?
Look. Go ahead. (Where the FH is Chez Helena? I couldn't afford that, I was in college working two jobs and chewing water at the time. Sounds great. Where was the suggestion ahead of time?)
Yeah, it wasn't the best time I had either, thank you very much. (And I'm holding back.) But none of this was ever brought to me, outside of 'you know, don't say anything to so-and-so, they don't like you very much.' Nope, as Marian Kelly used to say, 'we eat our dead.'
Paula, I could use another hug.
BTW, if you want to show someone what a con run by one person looks like? Here you go. This, unlike recent events, actually happened.