How to give negative critic or an advice?
When I was in my first job place and there came a situation where I said my thoughts out loud to my boss. She didn't tell me that my attitude was wrong and would be clear that I wouldn't make any profit that evening. Next work day I quit my job after I had talked with my boss and she had told me about problem with my attitude.
At jobs and other human relationships is a common problem that we don't dare to give advice to their problem even tho we see it by ourselves. We don't even talk about the advice or negative feedback.
We are blind to our own problems usually and a tip from an another person could be very helpful for our development as humans. Why do we not give it? It's not true friendship or good boss job when you don't dare to say truth even to the one asking for it!
What if my boss had told me about my attitude problem already on that evening? I could have done something about it during that shift and make some profit for myself and the company? Instead she was afraid that I would walk out immediately and then no one would be taking responsibility of the evening shift since the evening shift boss had quit his job suddenly. Also she had already asked me to take the leader's role temporarily so she wasn't able to back up in her words anymore because of her pride. Also I understood that she wasn't very good at f2f communication and since I had shown some temper she was probably lil afraid about my reaction. However as my boss she should have told me immediately about my attitude problem because it would have helped our cooperation in general and maybe I wouldn't have quit the job so soon. I do understand that she had stress over the sudden situation and she just didn't want to get things even more complicated. This tells me that her communication and leading skills were not very good ones and I had my own opinion about the job already plus my own problems which led me to the final desicion about quitting even though I didn't think it over very well.
I decided that since I'm still a student and I don't have to pay any bills, even if I didn't get any other job I wouldn't stress myself over it. Instead I would take my time this summer and use it for developing my social communication skills, understanding about human behaviour, philosophy and also my physical fitness. After all, this will be my last free summer. Next autumn I'll start studying for new profession and from then on, I won't have long vacations anymore where I could focus fulfilly on myself as a human-being.
We often act the way that friendship is the kind of relationship where you do not hurt each others' feelings by talking the truth. However think by yourself, would you be happier to hear truth from person whom you consider as your friend or would you rather hear lies?
Try remember a situation where your friend asked for your honest opinion or view. What did she ask and what did you reply? If you weren't honest, why?
Your friend was probably kinda satisfied with your answer, because its meaning was to make her happy right? However your friend probably sensed that you weren't honest. If you had told her the truth she/he might have considered you as her/his true friend. Think how could have you told the truth in the way that the other one would have understood it as help, not criticism.
How about so called 'white lies'? Your friend has bought a new clothing and you don't think that her choice was very good one. Think what you should do in that kind of situation.
I wish everyone a great day and happy summer!
