Courting & Wedding Traditions of Ruanaidh Sìdheach
Oftentimes in the Highland territory that was Rowan’s homeland, fairs and ceremonies would be held which allowed young men and women to come together and choose a companion whom they would live with for a year and a day. This was known as a “trial marriage” of sorts, in which both parties could eventually discern whether they wanted to officially marry each other and spend their lives together.
At a hand-fasting ceremony, it was custom for Highlander boys to cut two small strips of tartan from their own kilt, while the girls’ fathers would do the same with theirs. Two bracelets would then be made by sewing the boy’s tartan to the father’s, and during the ceremony itself, each partner would take one another’s hands while a single strip of the connected tartan was laced around them.
Afterward, both strips would be tied around each partner’s wrist and worn from day to day, but could be removed and worn on a different part of the body, such as the ankle, the forearm, or the neck. For girls, these tartan bracelets were often tied into a bow, and for boys, they were very commonly tied near the hilt of their swords.
If both parties decided they were not pleased or happy at any point in their year of hand-fasting, they would undergo another ceremony in which both tartan bracelets would be cut in half and burned over a fire - a tradition which symbolized the importance of letting go and beginning anew. If both partners reached the final day of their hand-fasting trial and decided they wished to be married instead, each bracelet would be removed and tied together into one large bow, which would then be placed with freshly cut boughs of heather in the center of the mantle of their new wedding home.
Many noble Highland families observed the hand-fasting tradition, but never hosted their ceremonies for the common folk in order to ensure their bloodline would remain purely of nobility.
In terms of dress, bridegrooms would wear a more formal variation of Highland garb on the day of their wedding, often in the style of the great kilt, but with the sash pulled over the right arm instead of leaving it free. Brides would wear a wedding dress that was made either completely of the groom’s tartan, or primarily white with that very same tartan somehow incorporated into the garment, from simple bows pinned over the heart of the dress all the way to intricate full-blown designs.
The night before the wedding, a foot-washing ceremony would often take place, in which the bride would sit down upon a stool and have her feet washed and cleaned by her unmarried female friends. It was believed that a ring from another happily married man would be placed within the tub of water, and whoever found that ring would be destined as the next woman to get married. For the grooms, this process was different - instead of having their feet washed, they would sit in a tub of water while their legs were smeared with ash, grease, and soot, which was superstitiously believed to ward off evil spirits.
When leaving the house, it was customary for both the bride and the groom to put their right foot forward upon exiting the threshold, as it was considered a gesture of good luck. Sometimes, a gold coin would be placed at the bottom of the bride’s shoe, also for the purpose of bringing good fortune and wealth to her future. On their separate ways to the ceremony, both the bride and the groom would be followed by family and friends, and either one or both of them would be accompanied by a band of pipers, fiddlers, and men beating their drums.
During the wedding, it was a common sight to see fresh sprigs of white heather decorating the kirk (or church), as the flower symbolized purity and good tidings to come. The ceremony itself consisted of not only the common vows, but also the Gaelic blood-vows, in which the wrist of the bride and groom would be slit open, their wounds pressed together, and their wrists tied with a single strip of fabric (more often than not a piece of tartan from the kilt of the groom), and then, one after another, they would speak these words:
Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean, is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh.
Is leatsa mo bhodhaig, chum gum bi sinn ‘n ar n-aon.
Is leatsa m’anam gus an criochnaich ar saoghal.
When converted to Tamrielic, these vows translate as follows:
You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone.
I give you my body, that we two might be one.
I give you my spirit, 'til our life shall be done.
Once these blood-vows were spoken, they were allowed to complete the wedding ceremony with a kiss. Afterward, a party was usually held, in which the pipers, fiddlers, and drummers would break into song and urge the attendees to dance. As whiskey was many a Highlander’s favorite beverage, there was no shortage of alcohol at these events. At some point, the party-goers would all join together to perform a reel, a traditional dance more commonly performed among nobles and royalty. At noble weddings, many types of reels were danced, and were performed more frequently than at commoner weddings.
When the new married couple departed the venue, the groom would reach into his sporran and throw handfuls of coins all over the ground for the children to hurry and gather for themselves - this tradition was known as a “Scramble”, and was believed to bring possible wealth and fortune to all those in the area. They would then climb onto the groom’s horse - brought to the ceremony by a friend - and ride off towards their new home.
On the second day after the wedding, a “Creeling” would be held, in which the married couple and their friends would assemble in a field with a basket full of heavy stones. The basket would be picked up by a man other than the groom, and he was tasked with carrying it all the way across the field until one of the women came to kiss him, thus relieving him of his burden and allowing him to pass the basket onto another man, and then the process would begin again. This process repeated until all of the men, save for the groom, had carried the basket of stones.
When it came time for the groom to carry the basket, no woman was allowed to take pity on him, except for his wife - and once he had carried it farther and longer than everyone else, his spouse would go to kiss him, allowing him to put the basket down. This ritual was meant to mirror the burdens a man might carry during his marriage, but of which it was within the power of a good wife to relieve him.
