#worm divorce

[wbcannibalgf]

Divorce court judge: Thank you for that unprompted performance of Spiral of Ants, ma'am. Is everyone in agreement on the death penalty?

Me (trying to act like im not excited): Oh no anything but an eternity of bliss in shard heaven with my new wife Ashley Stillons from Ward Wildbow!!

Emotional support Mannequin impersonator I hired to stand next to me: if i vote yes can you make sure its painful

[f1rewalk3r]

bitch wife asked me for “dalloncest rp” tonight. i don’t know what that means but from the sounds of it i think i’m glad. anyways she put on red gloves and then started chasing me around the apartment screaming “vicky i’m not a homophobic caricature! i promise! i’m just misunderstood!” jesus fucking christ. this divorce can’t come soon enough

[gay--dog]

[seventeen362]

Lone (Taylor Parahumans Dallon Interlude)

>be “taylor parahumans dallon,” 22

>one parent is completely checked out, doesn’t care about us much (other parent once compared her to “the LaBourn mother”)

>other one is obsessed with worm

>still recovering, hours of therapy every day. unlearning tendencies to collect bugs and doing physical therapy to recover from that one time worm-obsessed parent did a “leviathan dice roll”, trying to forget every line of worm (parent had me memorize all of it)

>have a younger brother, still a minor (chubster)

>since chubster can’t move out, he’s still living with worm-obsessed parent

>going to get sent to non-worm-obsessed parent, which might be even worse (she forgets to give us food sometimes, at least worm-obsessed parent takes us to that burger place once in a while

>pleads me to get him out of there

>do my best, drive over there (my friend Nancy taught me how to drive)

>mother who likes worm finds out, demands an explanation and threatens to “bonesaw” me if i don’t provide a reasonable explanation

>panic

>tell my mother i’m doing a worm reenactment

>she allows it

>pick chubster up without her noticing, drive him over to Nancy’s house

>if worm-obsessed parent founds out i lied, she might bring out the echidna costume

>can’t let that happen

>what kind of worm reenactment could i do that would do

>pick up phone to ask worm-obsessed parent for advice

>crash my car cause i’m not paying attention

>oh. shit. like annette

>fading in and out of consciousness

>half-wake up on a hospital bed, months later, just like taylor hebert from worm after the locker

>doctors say i might die

>chubster is okay though

>realize i’m ignoring something

>weird background noise in senses

>more senses than i’m used to

>oh no

>cant let worm-obsessed mother find out about this, can’t let anyone find out

>don’t want to be dissected

>going to have to find a way to remove whatever part of my brain is letting me do that

>like contessa did to the original skitter, maybe?

>put the idea in the back of my mind, workshop it later

>neither parent has visited. haven’t found my drivers license under my fake name, so they just think i don’t know how to drive

>worm-obsessed parent wants to legally rename me to annette

>can’t let anyone find out about the bugs

>fall back out of consciousness, specifically tell the bugs to do what they were doing before i woke up (can’t let anyone know)

>i hope chubster’s ok

[wbcannibalgf]

worm fan wife getting turned away at the pearly gates

st. peter: heyy so usually worm fans always go straight to hell but we had like twelve people instantly become full blown christians after seeing your echidna costume so im willing to make an exc-

me (trying to paint little bug legs on my halo so it looks like the gold morning logo): shut the fuck up and go back to your dragonslayers. i dont think you even read ward theres barely any red crystals here

my emotional support mannequin impersonator: if i push her off the edge can i take off this horrible costume before i go in

[wbcannibalgf]

worm fan wife getting isekaid to worm after death (it's a coma dream)

*shoving taylor hebert back into the locker i just rescued her from* nice try devil but a real worm fan knows her hair should be black and not dark brown *seeing emma barnes walking past* omg is that clockblocker

[f1rewalk3r]

thank god i managed to convince the ex to take out a life insurance policy. all i had to do was say “it’s like if number man and lab rat teamed up.” and then she got so excited she started shaking and i’m not sure but i was doing laundry later and i think i smelled piss on her clothes. gross.

it’s reassuring knowing the policy will let me afford to send chubster to college. especially with no more exorbitant spending on ridiculous “costume play”

[f1rewalk3r]

obsessed with your worm themed divorce tbh. your wife accidentally sets a pan of oil on fire and nearly burns down the house because she had to take a picture of it because "it's just like burnscar!"

took 3 hours to convince her to go to the hospital because she kept breaking down and sobbing “don’t take me to panacea i don’t want to be wretchfied” 🙄🙄