#wotfaq

[highladyluck]

Third Age Relics

Yet another funny bit that used to be in the WoTFAQ, but which was moved out over time to make room for new content. Honestly, this is surprisingly good WoT filk (the tune, should you not immediately intuit it, is “This Land Is Your Land”.) {by Ruchira Datta (& Rupa)}

This land is Rand-Land, this land's Egwene-Land, from Arad Doman to the Aiel Waste-Land. From Kinslayer's Dagger, to the Dragon's Fingers, this land was made by LTT.

[highladyluck]

Third Age Relics

This is the last set of funny bits from old versions of the WoTFAQ that got edited out to make room for new stuff.

This one makes an extremely compelling point about research funding everywhere, not just at the Collam Daan...

{OilCan} Well, as Pam points out, when writing grant applications, one would do well to avoid phrases like "Release into the world the Source of All Evil (tm)." Use of "Develop a single Power source for both male and female channelers," is encouraged, however, because that falls into the category of "directed research," and hence will be extensively funded...

[highladyluck]

Third Age Relics

As usual, here’s a funny bit that used to be in the WoTFAQ, but that was moved out over time to make room for new content.

I am not sure how many grains of salt to take the below quotes with, as I do know that Patrick Nielsen Hayden was in touch with rasfw and may very well have been a newsgroup poster himself. Bill Garrett is the person who archived all this material, hats off to Bill!

{Patrick Nielsen Hayden, the Tor Books Man, and Bill "Fain" Garrett}

PNH} No, it's a signal that I don't work for the real Tor, but for Bizarro Tor! No! Am Bizarro editor, send unsolicited terrible manuscripts to aspiring writers! Send huge sales force nationwide to confiscate and hide bestselling paperbacks! Force Orson Scott Card to erase only extant manuscript of fourth Alvin novel! Go into chain bookstores, turn all competitors' books face out! Bizarro editing am big fun!

BG} You forgot the part about sneaking unbidden into peoples' homes at night and ripping the covers off their Tor paperbacks.

[highladyluck]

Third Age Relics

Here’s another funny bit that used to be in the WoTFAQ, but which was moved out over time to make room for new content. This presumably dates from the time between when The Fires of Heaven and Lord of Chaos was published, and technically has spoilers through the end of The Dragon Reborn, book 3. {by John S. Novak III}

Ah yes, I can see it now. Jordan, while making a trip through scenic, snowy Peoria, skids off the road and crashes. A big, burly, not-too-friendly electrical engineering grad student rescues him, brings him to his apartment and nurses him back to health.

  ("No, Mr. Jordan, you don't want to go the hospital, or even the Bradley    University Health Center. _Bad_ things happen to people there.")

Months later, after being given privileged use of said EE's personal computer, the sixth book is finished. Said EE reads through draft manuscript, reaches end, and storms to Jordan, shouting:

"YOU HAD HIM FIGHT ISHAMAEL AGAIN, JUST LIKE THE FIRST THREE BOOKS!"

[highladyluck]

Third Age Relics: Old WoTFAQ Humor

Some of you may remember the WoTFAQ, which originated with rasfw and was diligently written/edited/maintained by Erica Sadun, who passed it to Pamela Korda, who passed it to Leigh Butler. Sadly, it now exists only in our hearts and various outdated versions on mirror sites. I think Dragonmount is currently heir to the data, but they don't appear to have a version up at this time. (For those looking for WoT reference material and lists of data, Encyclopaedia WoT is still kicking and somewhat up-to-date.)

My next Third Age Relics series will be some funny bits that used to be in the WoTFAQ, but that were moved out over time to make room for new content!

It seems appropriate to start with this bit, about working on the FAQ itself. Minimal spoilers here, given that this is a parody of the Dark Prophecy in chapter 7 of The Great Hunt.

A PUBLIC APOLOGY POEM FOR PAM (Sorry again!) {by Erica Sadun} Daughter of the FAQ She writes from now. The ongoing opus, she yet writes Her new public she seeks, who shall read her and delight, yet read still. Who shall get out with her coming? The Georgia Tech Walls shall kneel. FAQ feeds FAQ. FAQ calls FAQ. FAQ is, and FAQ was, and FAQ shall ever be. The man who loves lanfear stands alone. He gives her for the sacrifice. Two roads before him, one to lanfear beyond dying,    one to Nynaeve, eternal. Which will he choose? Which will he choose? What lust shelters? What humor slays? Hair feeds Hair. Hair calls Hair. Long Hair is, and Long Hair was, and Long Hair shall ever be. Judy came to the Mountains of UMCP. Tom waited in the High Passes. The hunt is now begun.  The coursework now hounds and kills. One did study and one did work, but both are. The time of midterms has come. Grade feeds Grades. Grade calls Grades. GPA is, and GPA was, and GPA shall ever be. The Jordanites wait on r.a.sf.w. The split of the newsgroup burns the ancient rn tree heirarchy. Flames will fly and email burn before the great split comes. Flames will reap and votes will fail before the great split comes. Now the great split comes. Now the great split comes. Postings feed postings. Postings call postings. Posting is, and Posting was, and Posting shall ever be.