#bizarro

[sweethotspot]

The Superfamily:

Meanwhile Connor:

[zan-miya]

Jason and Bizarro as that scene in Frankenstein (2025) 🍁 I love jason as bizarro's big brother figure so much. The way their relationship shows jason's kindness and compassion that most people often forget when characterizing him.

[incorrectbatfam]

Inspired by this week's WFA:

Bruce, emailing: Dear Clark, I need you to report to Wayne Manor at your earliest convenience. Signed, Bruce Wayne.

Clark, emailing back: Dear Bruce, I will be there within the next hour. Signed, Clark Kent.

———————

Dick, texting: Meet me and Babs in 30.

Kara, texting back: K.

———————

Jason, shouting out the window: YO BIZ!

Bizarro, five minutes later: Not here!

———————

Damian, at a normal volume: Kent.

Jon: *zooms across the country in three seconds*

———————

Tim:

Kon: *breaks the sound barrier*

[punnifullife]

Had this idea for soooo long. Poor Bizarro 😔He's surrounded by gingers

bonus pic:

[ivebeenbamboozeled]

Does this art by @jjmk-jjmk remind you of something…?

[robs-your-robins]

Based on my own post about Bruce holding a seminar about how to properly care for your Kryptonian, I think that while less structured, less invasive and sewn with seeds of country idioms and wisdoms, Clark takes each of the Kryptonians aside how best to deal with their chosen Bat.

The Bats have a complicated relationship with each other, questions can and should only be directed at specific openings made by your Bat. On the other hand, never praise or criticise another Bat in your Bat’s hearing, they can be very protective.

Bats tend to brood over things for a long time. Whilst you can sense they are getting irritated, the best thing you as their Kryptonian buddy can do is keep jammering because noise drowns out their dark thoughts and they will accept a nice cup of something hot.

Don’t ever press a Bat to talk, they’re skittish things. Approach them when they are quiet slowly and cautiously. Offer them some of Ma Kent’s cookies. If quite concerned, approach Alfred.

Batman is very protective of his children and this Robins. You will be asked invasive often insulting questions but take it as a compliment, be polite and respectful. He is testing you. If he suspects you are a threat or feels you are getting too fresh, he will hunt you down with a rifle with Kryptonite bullets - Kon, are you listening?

Bats are still human, make sure that when catching them at speed or flying that they remain in your grasp at all times. You may catch a falling Bat by leg, arm or cape but when possible you must set them down safely or secure them, under arm like a football is safe but undignified, under their arms is also not acceptable. Honestly, the Bats do not like to be carried but if it’s necessary, don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty there.

The Bats are famous as human celebrities as well, they may attract unwanted attention. While you may wish to protect you must allow their human security to deal with all non lethal threat. Shielding your Bat is allowed but he prepared for unwelcome comments in local media.

Bats also tend to act tougher than they are but that being said, don’t try to one up them. They will push themselves to the brink to beat you at anything. They will shatter every bone in their bodies trying to prove themselves wrong.

Remember you are stronger and faster, moderate your speed for the Bats but also be careful when roughhousing, sparring, hugging, hand-holding, any physical contact. Jon, Damian may have extra organs stored away, a pool that will revive him and a metal spine but you cannot fling him like a tennis ball. Understand, buddy?

When flying, remember your Bat cannot leave the atmosphere or ascend too high, they will burn up or freeze to death.

When chastising your Bat, don’t ever ask them “who raised you?” because they will either answer emotionally which is terrifying or sarcastically in their caustic humour which is almost as bad.

Some Bats will try to feed you what they deem as “odd” stuff, such as guns, gravel and rocks and that is totally Clark’s fault because Bruce saw him eat these things while in Gotham and now he thinks it is some delicacy in Krypton.

If you note your Bat’s heart rate increase around others, do not point it out. They will not welcome it.

Bats may lean or rest against you due to your excess body heat. This is not a gesture of anything else other than to keep warm. If you believe it is or it stirs something in you, MAKE SPACE FOR RAO BETWEEN YOU UNTIL YOU ASK THEIR FATHER FOR PERMISSION TO COURT THEM. NO KARA, I’M SERIOUS.

Make sure to always offer help in a non patronising way. Bats are strong and clever by nature but if they’re moving furniture or late to some engagement or have a burn that needs icing, offer you services.

The use of x-ray vision and hearing may not be used on your Bat, they do not like it. Even for surprises like birthday gifts, that dog just ain’t going to hunt.

That being said, if you notice your Bat is injured and is hiding it or does not realise it, you are free to act as you see fit. That’s even with Red, Bizarro. He tends to minimise.

Clark doesn’t have a fancy PowerPoint or educational videos about how to best approach a Bat. He will take the Kryptonian who needs the talking to on a hike somewhere or out into space to chill on the Moon and have a heart to heart, where he may share what he’s gathered from a study in his best friend and his many many many children.

[ashlettuce]

If bizarro has zero fans im DEAD.