wovenofgold asked: ❛ i was giving you a chance. ❜ / thor is in trouble ;;
He was a disappointment, he knew he was. Thor had disappointed his father, something he didn't necessarily care that much about (or at least, he tried not to care. He shouldn't care what his father thought, not after everything, but he very much did), but more importantly, he'd disappointed Sif and Thrud.
Even though he had promised Sif that he was going to be better, that he was going to drink less, to be a better father, a better husband, he had failed her, the way he did everything else. He couldn't even do the one thing he was good at right: he hadn't been able to kill who he'd been sent to kill.
And as much as he thought he'd look forward to avenging his sons….., there hadn't been any joy in it. There hadn't been the thrill of the fight, the glory of battle. He had fought another father who had wanted to keep his son safe.
Because to some extent, Thor understood where Kratos was coming from. He hadn't always treated his boys the best, but he would have done what he could to keep them alive.
And it's at that thought that the guilt rushes through him once more, the fact that his own actions were what had caused Modi to run off again, to face the Ghost of Sparta when he'd still been recovering from the beating that he, Modi's own father had given him….., that he'd called him a COWARD……; he was responsible for Modi's death, and that would haunt him to the end of his days.
"Maybe you shouldn't give me any more chances," he said, looking down, his disheveled red hair hanging down in front of his face. "I don't fucking deserve them." Sif and Thrud deserved better than he could ever be.
