#wpgvotes

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A recent survey found that among the highest percentage of Jenny voters are those people who angrily demand to see a manager when a teenage worker screws up their food order.

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After an exhaustive special investigation, we’ve come to learn that it is in fact possible for Winnipegers to cross the street at a busy intersection without incident. Stay tuned for our next special report where we’ll go deep undercover in every other North American city to reveal how motorists can actually share the road with bikes.

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- If they individually focus on staying on task, they’ll have a better shot at winning.

 - Professor which candidate are you talking about specifically?

- Oh I was talking about the Jets. Isn’t this Sportsnet?

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The vote may be bleak but the music is really getting to the crowd. 

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Mayoral candidate Umar Hayat manages to get some attention drawn to his safety concerns regarding the opening of Portage and Main, unfortunately it involves him purposely wandering into traffic to get hit by a car.

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When reporters asked Jenny Motkaluk if she’d be okay after losing the mayoral election she said, “Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

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At this point we’re willing to project that incumbents picking new incumbents will always be elected in Winnipeg.

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With 0% of the vote reporting in, we're ready to predict Janice Lukes will retain her seat in Waverly West.