May 23, 2025
“There’s a hunger in me poetry can’t feed. A longing too wild for language. So I bleed metaphors just to keep breathing.”
—wordsintheattic
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“There’s a hunger in me poetry can’t feed. A longing too wild for language. So I bleed metaphors just to keep breathing.”
—wordsintheattic
academia things to research when you're bored (because doom scrolling is insipid) :
african architecture
medieval methods of washing clothes
the history of religion
oceanic mythology
the renaissance era's idea of masculinity
the colour wheel
the history behind braids
donna tartt's childhood
the influence of cigarettes on women in the 1920s
how, exactly, swords are forged
the history of cinnamon (very interesting!!)
the different shades of maroon and their names
who the first person was to dissect a human body
the side affects of anaesthesia
your favourite university's mantra
the black dahlia murder
the controversy surrounding psychiatry
why do we smile to express joy
music theory and how it shaped the making of instruments
symbolism in renaissance art
the rat race
the most poisonous plants
the history of calligraphy
what ancient greece thought about music
how to bake sourdough bread from scratch
conspiracy theories
how to study latin
turkish proverbs
the history of metaphors
the process of erosion
the act of proposing
ETERNAL THIRST: 02
the anchor / release
"How noble, how blind you are." His laugh was muffled, shaken yet cruel. "You speak of love as freedom, yet you pull it like a knife." The storm behind his eyes, barely contained. "Admit it, darling. You enjoy being the one thing beyond my grasp."
Astarion · cadence study / knife-under-velvet micro-scene
coal
He had been working in the mines for the past three months and he was beginning to cough like the others did.
A crooked picture ornamented the otherwise bare wall. That and the piano were his only valuable possessions. He would come back home every night and see both of them, one hanging a little too much on the left, one yawning with some of its off-tune teeth missing. There used to be a midsize mirror on the floor, its back against the wall, but as the weeks passed, as his arms and legs grew thin and as his eyes adopted a permanent look of worry, he had gotten rid of it.
Before lighting the kerosene lamp, seconds after entering through the door, he would sit down in front of the piano and would let his weakened, tired, fingers fall onto the keys. He wasn’t a very good player, he would have to pause between some of the notes in order to cough. He played clumsy nocturnes, only alighted by the moonshine, the grime on his hands making the keys stick to his fingers. It was always quiet, the neighbors were fast asleep and he would be alone with his moon. The tears would trickle onto his cheeks, mixing with the dirt on his face, as he thought of her.
He was scared that he would forget what she looked like. He would slightly tilt his head to the left every day, but the picture was blurry and he was certain that she was prettier in real life. You couldn’t tell by looking at it that she would always say “Keep the change” at the cashier, even though they could’ve used the extra dollar for another day’s worth of soup.
“Keep the change”, he would sometimes whisper. His lips pressing against each other, his tongue touching his palate while he said those three words- it made her seem more real. It was the concrete in the abstract of sentiment, it was feeling her pulse beat against his skin.
The moon seemed far away that night. It looked as if it were crying.
© Margaux Emmanuel
What I learned in 2017
1. Your life with be a back and forth roller coaster ride. You will face almost death experiences, and you’re going to choose to live anyway.
2. What you wish for, won’t always come easy. Sometimes your heart will break, other times you’ll be jumping in excitement from the euphoria you cannot contain. Nothing is guaranteed.
3. There will be plenty of boys who will want to lift you off your feet, but if none of them makes it better than being single, don’t waste your precious time. It’s not worth it. Especially if it means risking your heart for someone who is incapable of making you feel whole.
4. Try a little more each time. Whether it’d be falling in love, or even studying for an exam that worth half your marks. You will improve yourself for the better.
5. You will gain friends, and you will loose friends. People will go out of their way to seclude you from others — they will claim you as their own. Don’t give into their selfishness. They are not worth the tears, or the time. However, when you gain an old friend, keep them. Because if someone really loves you, and cherishes you, they will come back around. They will continue to support you, and appreciate you, rather than keep you hidden.
6. Forgive. Forgive yourself, and allow yourself to be free from the weight on your shoulders. There is so much more to life than burdening yourself over something temporary. Become immersed in forgiveness and soak yourself in love.
7. Seek help. When you’re the most hurt, the most defeat, do not go on this journey alone. People are there to guide you. Friends, family, and if that’s not enough, there are councillors who will happily give you insight on your situation. They will be patient with you, and they will try their very best to give you the care that you need. Do not feel as if you’re not “sad” enough or “anxious” enough. No matter how you feel, it is always the best decision to talk to someone. You are not alone.
8. You are going to cry. On your bedroom floor at 3am questioning yourself as to why things had to go the way they did. You will pinpoint every insecurity, every flaw, and yet you will love yourself anyway, because you are worthy of love. You are worthy of being adored.
9. Sometimes you will backslide from Christ, but the beautiful thing is that Christ does not run from you. Whatever circumstance you’re in, he will continue to accept you as you are. No matter how far you’ve gone, no matter what you did, because his love is unconditional. There is no boundaries for his adoration for you. For he gave his one and only son to save you from eternal judgement.
10. Sometimes, healing consists of sitting in coffee shops and writing the year's from your mind. Sometimes healing is laughing till you cry, it is kissing your friends faces and being moved and inspired by your life. And sometimes, healing is rest, it is hiding from the world, it is having everything inside of you be still and quiet and eerily bare. Sometimes healing feels like nothing at all, like you are a silhouette of hope and hurt at the same time. Do not fight it. Whatever your healing looks like today, whatever it consists of — just allow it to be what it is. Just take care of yourself.
They spoke of forever as if it were a place. But forever was just the hallway between their glances. Love rarely dies, it only forgets the way home.
—wordsintheattic
“I have lived and slept beside endless metaphors, and each time I woke up devoured. Not every poem leaves you alive. Some are written to end you.”
—Anish KC, wordsintheattic
The clock ticked without mercy, yet no time seemed to pass. Days stretched like shadows, but they were never truly owned. If only time were measured in hours, not by the moments missed.
— Anish KC, wordsintheattic