When I woke up, it took me a moment to remember what had happened. I still hoped that it had all been nothing but a dream, but I knew that was wrong.
The frigid air of winter met me as I walked slowly out of the cave. The ice below my feet was slippery, but my claws held tight as I pawed my way to the top of the mountainside. Smoke from their fires still drifted into the sky from below, fires that my anger had extinguished during the night.
I recall thinking that this was their fault and I had every right to do what I had done, but now I know I was wrong. There was only one thing I could have done to change this, and it wasn’t what had happened. Instead, I had reopened the old wound, become what I had been before. I knew I was not a creature of darkness. I could be better than that, I could calm my anger, my instinct to despise with a sizzling hatred.
Even now, my anger was sinking down, down, fading away to be replaced by sorrow. I alone had destroyed these people, my people. I was their protector, and yet now they were all gone.
I howled at the moon above me, knowing that this time there was no going back. It was a simple act, to cry to the moon. Even when I was most alone, it had always made me feel like there was someone listening. But not even the moon would listen to me now.
I slumped down the hill to my cave, thoughts racing through my mind. I would have to leave now, and soon. After gathering my few belongings, I left the place I had called home for many years.
Once outside, I glimpsed my blurry reflection in the thin sheet of ice that covered the ground. My one red eye and one purple eye blinked back at me, reminding me of who I really was.
My image was part of me and part of my curse, the curse to be like no other and to be alone forever. It seemed that I had forgotten that lately in my anger. I had forgotten all the things I had lost and the many things I had yet to lose. It was something I shouldn't have forgotten. I promised myself that I would never again forget, but try to accept myself for who I would become and live past my horrible mistake.
Without looking back, I left my cave, I left my home, left this place that I would never — could never — return.