I need fellow Autistics opinion on something, if you're willing to share your thoughts about it.
I have a younger brother (24 years old) who just got diagnosed with Autism. I myself got diagnosed with Autism when I was 22 years old (I'm now 28), and I have another younger brother (27) who got the diagnosis when he was 18. We have two other siblings, but they're neurotypical.
My 24 year old brother's name starts with an 'N', and my 27 year old brother's name starts with an 'S', so I'll call them that for short. Me and S both have many of the "stereotypical" Autism traits, and while S has been showing his Autism since his infancy, I didn't show any signs of Autism until I was about 5 or 6 years old. But now that we're "adults", we both need to live in assisted homes for Autistic adults.
Now, I told you N had recently gotten his own Autism diagnosis as well, but he doesn't show ANY signs of Autism at ALL, and never has. Me, S and our mother (neurotypical) all agree that while he has some difficulties, he is very non-Autistic in many ways. I can give you a list of his difficulties/advantages/past diagnoses: !!!WARNING!!!: SOME OF THIS INFORMATION CAN BE TRIGGERING AND VERY VIOLENT FOR SOME READERS. THOSE POINTS WILL BE MARKED WITH A (!TW!) SIGN.
- He has always been excellent at making friends as, atleast when he was a kid and teenager, was talkative, adventurous, confident, and knows how to read people's face/body/emotions. The last one is still true today. - He still has the majority of his childhood friends to this day. - He was never teased, bullied or otherwise wronged in school as a kid, and was actually one of the more popular kids as he was pretty 'normal'. ('normal' as in he very rarely did anything 'peculiar' or 'weird' that others didn't understand) - As he is the youngest of 5 children, he was the most spoiled of me and our siblings, and could sometimes lose his temper if he didn't get what he wanted, when he wanted it. I know that that can also be an Autism trait, but I am literally 100% sure he was like that simply because he was spoiled by our parents. - He learned everything at the appropriate ages: talking, walking, playing with other kids, sharing toys/other objects, reading, counting, telling time, tying his own shoes, and the list goes on, while me and S learned all of those things much later than the 'norm'. - Even to this day, N is very in tune with other people's emotions, and can easily put himself in other peoples' shoes. He has always been like that, and even as a child, was very good at cheering up others and calming people down if needed. - Our parents separated when I was five years old, back in 1998/1999. Our father got a new girlfriend, let's name her 'D', and D was the one who spoiled N rotten from when he was only 1 year old, and to some extent still spoils him to this day. Ever since our parents separation, D has been more of a 'mother' to N than our maternal mother, since D came into our lives when N was basically still a baby, and has been spoiled by her since day one, basically. Our father died in 2012, and our mother mother died this March, 2020. - As I have already said, N is still very spoiled today, even though he's 24, and can lose his temper quickly if he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it. When he was a child and teenager, he just got angry and/or sad when he didn't get his way. Now, as an adult, he gets violent when he doesn't get his way. - N has been seeing several psychiatrists over the years, and even been admitted to psychiatric hospitals, sometimes on his own accord, sometimes forced. There, he's gotten a few diagnoses, such as: acute psychosis, Tourrette's Syndrome, and ADHD. I think he got another one, but I don't remember which one. But not even a month ago, 'Autism' was added to his list of diagnoses. - (!TW!) As an adult, whenever he wasn't admitted to a psychiatric hospital/institution, he started to wreck havoc whenever he didn't get his way, and in the most brutal of ways. He has hit and kicked people, even women, almost completely destroyed our stepmother's, D, entire house; the only thing that was intact was the kitchen and bathroom. He even destroyed all the windows in her house, and (presumably, according to D) kicked her cat. - (!TW!) He has admitted to physically abuse D's old dog by kicking her, punching her head with a brick in his hand, and I hope with every part of my soul that I am wrong on this, but I have a feeling he has also sexually abused the dog. - (!TW!) He has killed multiple animals; D's pet bunny, a newborn kitten, and an aquarium full of fish (about 8-10 fish). None of the animals were his own, not that it makes a difference. - (!TW!) This summer, our neurotypical brother ('A') and N were playing a video game on their computers while talking over the phone. N lost to A, and N lost his temper. N threatened to not just kill A and his girlfriend, but to kill A's girlfriend's entire family, cutting off A's skin and using it as a costume to 'start a new and better life'. A understandably has cut off contact to N since. - N is also still doing semi-harmful things to people on almost a daily basis, including, but not limited to: spitting on/after people at the psychiatric hospital, yelling and screaming at them, threatening them, and other forms of verbal abuse.
There are two reasons I'm making this post. 1; N is not Autistic. He has problems, yes, and they're escalating quickly, but he is not Autistic. He has never acted Autistic in any way, and no matter how many 'professionals' give him the Autism diagnosis, I refuse to believe it. 2; the psychiatric hospital he's currently admitted to are planning to send him to an assisted home for Autistic adults, like the ones me and our brother S are living in. This could prove to be extremely dangerous for the personel working there as well as the other residents, especially the latter as we Autistic people won't be able to cope with someone as extreme as N.
I am asking for as many (Actually Autistic people only!!!) people as possible to tell me your take on this. I know that each individual Autistic person is different, and that we all share a lot of the same difficulties and advantages, but are still completely different from eachother in many ways. But N is not Autistic, and again, no amount of 'professional' NT diagnostics doctors can convince me otherwise. What I need is opinions, preferably as many as possible, from other Autistic people like myself.
N is a danger to himself and others, but he is my brother and I love him with all my heart, and I just want to see him get better. But people are about to send him off to a home he doesn't belong, with people that won't be able to handle him. Please, send me your thoughts on this; you might be able to help me being able to help my brother.
