#wrp: task

[avrilyork-blog]

             i’ll be ready when the morning comes ; ( x )                                                                      a avril york playlist

[roniwentzell]

Reflection

“What do you mean I actually have to talk if I’m in here? Can’t I just sit?” Veronica’s arms were already crossing defensively as she received the answer. She’d come across the booth and thought it’d be the perfect escape for a few minutes from work, after all, she’d seen a couple of the other catering staff enter and exit. “Fine, fine. What’s the first thing? My new year’s? Last year was the first year I actually had an ounce of freedom.” Her answers were meant to be short, draining the time without divulging too much. The previous year had been her first alone, away from the people she was forced to call family. Her sister had passed, and her year long probation had finally been lifted. She moved into her apartment only a few short weeks later and thankfully her roommate had been participating in a party. She found a sort of bliss in being alone, away from the people she blamed for all her trouble. It wasn’t lonely, for she never held much stock in the year rolling over anew. “I don’t do new years resolutions, they’re fucking stupid.”

“Why the hell do you write down some mindless goal at the beginning of the year? If you really want something, they you work for it whenever you first think of it. That’s why so many of these losers fail at losing weight or getting promotions or whatever the hell they wish for. Go out and get it, stop waiting from some grand revelation to push you forward.” Veronica had never been a patient person, she reach for what she wanted with selfish hand. Never a thought to those it may affect later on, as long as she was successful. That mindset had taken her far away from the romantic notions of New Years traditions.

Pride was something she often battled but nothing clearly came to mind as she read over the next question plastered on the side of the camera. “I don’t know? What’s there to be proud of? I guess I got an okay job; only place that hires in town, really.” The Mystic Dragon was her only steady source of income, without she’d likely be out in the streets too proud to return home to her biological family. Not that there was anything left to return too. The Mystic Dragon may have been her only stability, despite the strange dealings in backrooms and the weeks she came home short on tips.Maybe she’d even made some friends in town but she wondered if those relationships could truly be called friendships between the groans of company and insults. 

A sharp laugh escaped, a bit melodramatic and stale as eyes glazed over what she found disappointing. “I’m fucking sick of being blamed for shit I had no part of. Wouldn’t anybody?” There’d be a long list of disappointments from the previous year but as always only one stood out as priority. She still was exiled from the people she thought to be her real chance at family: The Reapers. Veronica had done everything she thought possible to fall back into good graces, even when history repeated itself among the Wentzell name, she took the upper road. Sacrificing any chance at normalcy by accepting the charges against her. After all, the state of Georgia had a reputation as one of the strictest enforcers of anti-drug legislation. She still hung onto the promises Harlow never quite made, and now evaded.

“Fuck it. That’s it, just fuck it all.” A phrase she found slipping from her lips more often than not. Her eyes drifted down, arms still wrapped tightly into one another. She had no more to say, but the idea of returning to work felt defeating. Catering was easy money, but she found it aggravating passing by the upturned noses of party goers. The curtain ripped open, someone presuming she had finished due to the silence and Veronica saw red before thinking of a reaction. “Five more fucking minutes! Get some patience, you idiotic dick.” Grumbling as she ripped the fabric back for privacy. Maybe she’d find another place to hide away from.

[theoxrhodes]

Reflection

“Oh—this is cheesy.” Theodore wasn’t quite sure how he ended up in the line of the video booth, but he’d follow the masses and taken a seat. His hand awkwardly gripping his knees as he took a deep breath, squinting at the questions listed to the side. Maybe his new years resolution would be to revisit the optometrist for new glasses. The first question already caused his heart to drop, the previous year had been spent in a hospital bed waiting for his leg to heal enough to begin rehabilitation. An exaggerated breath left his lips. “Uh—last year…um, it was nothing special; really just spent the night in bed watching the ball drop.” A few friends had moseyed in and out of the hospital room, a quick visit to drop of a card or flowers pressured by their significant others to purchased. Not many stuck around long, and eventually he was left to spend the New Year count down alone.

“I don’t think I had a resolution last year, or well—any since making the team. I guess that was what I was working towards the whole time, so there was no point in making another since…” Though now it’d been taken away, and for the better part of the year his recovery consumed his thoughts and feelings. Each time his leg and knee ached, it was a reminder that he’d still yet to shake away.

“God, I guess I’m lucky I ended up finding a job here. It’s nice, I still get to be part of the world I grew up in to an extent. And I guess I should mention that I’m lucky I had family to tell me about it and give me an extra room.” He paused, brows heavy. “This isn’t going to be shown to anyone, right? ‘Cause I’m not letting him have that leverage. He’ll hold it over my head for months.” A smile broke as he thought about the potential of Silas teasing him about his debt. Anytime he’d make a quip, he imagined the older male would gently remind him rent was due. “Disappointments? Other than the obvious?” The question struck him far deeper than the surface appearance allowed. If there was one thing that left him hung up more than his ultimate removal from the professional world of baseball, it was the haunting thought of his father’s opinion of it all. If his childhood had ingrained one thing inside his mind, it was that his father would never miss a game on the television. Despite not speaking to him for years, he never doubted the fact that his father had seen his downfall being aired live; just as he’d finally succeeded in reaching his goal. The letter he received months later still sat tucked away in a drawer, he hadn’t found the courage to open it. A part of him naively wished it read ‘It’s okay, you made it.’; but he suspected that wasn’t the case. “Nah, no disappointments really.”

“A catchphrase?” He was laughing again, there was something about the feelings wrapped around this task. He found it almost cringing, but something continued to pull him to confess. An innate need to participate in the giddiness that others seem to feel exiting the booth. “I don’t know, maybe something like ‘Sometimes it takes a while before you know what you want, and that’s okay.’ Is that good? Yeah? Can I go?”

[athenawclker-blog]

location: callahan’s new years eve party

time: 11:05pm

task: new years resolution / reflection over the year

An invitation to a party like such was quite memorable for Athena Walker. It was the needed distraction over the past few months, more said the recent month and a half over anything recent in her life. The opportunity to dress up, step away from the not so glitz-and-glamour of the precinct, to simply enjoy the bustle of the party around her - mostly needing alcohol to get through a few said conversations throughout the evening. Wine was her choice for the evening. Figuring she needed to lay off any hard in alcohol stance, knowing here and there, hasn’t been all of the greatest and eyes were focused heavily upon the police force for news of Alexis’ Hawthorne. Tonight, her mind was attempting to find the off switch and just enjoy, for whatever it may be. When hearing word of a video booth, one where resolutions’ were to be shared. A unique approach, she knew. It did catch her interest, ever walking by the said area where the booth was and eventually finding relief of the simmered down line closer toward the new year, one not looping around the room but one where Athena could enter into the booth with her wine glass in hand and soft smile upon her lips - one that hasn’t been rather steady upon her lips. It was mostly being alone which brought considerable relief. Even though, being alone with your thoughts wasn’t entirely the greatest of feelings.  

“Well,” she began to herself, reading over the instructions upon the screen - pulling the curtain shut and setting her drink down on the provided table. Someone thought this equation out too well. “Why the hell not?” By the sounds of her words, all simply to herself, it was needed words of motivation before second guessing her choice of being here and doing this video booth. Confidence came with Athena. Although, she knew her state of mind hasn’t been all of the greatest recently. A few prick of her thoughts, here and there, triggered it - memories and remainders from her mother to return to Los Angeles for the holiday instantly caused her to tense up. Christmas was her favorite time of year. Underneath the whole glazed exterior Athena simply wore around town, there was someone deep down who struggled and wasn’t trying to force every single human being away. Not even wondering a second thought, she pressed the start button and read the first question. A loud hum fell right off her lips, hands collapsing into one another before words formed, “I was here - at the Callahan’s annual party. I was far more invested in the party last year though. Speaking, drinking, oh, hell, I was having the time of my life there. I was enjoying myself. I didn’t have to fucking stand around - like tonight and double think my moves like now. It sucks. Thinking people are probably wondering why I’m here instead of working. Like I need to be on my best behavior. I’m human after all, don’t people know that?” words escaped as a lazy shrug rolled off her shoulders, collecting her composure and tucking a dark lock behind her ear. “I don’t really have any set resolution’s. If I want something, why do I need to set a goal for it? I find it rather... stupid. I go for what I want. If I don’t get it, a big lose but it’s not the end of the world for me.” Commenting with a soft tone, finding her find roaming further into the question before smiling to herself, “I would love to find happiness around everything going around. Just to be genuinely happy. Not having here or there days - the ups and downs has sadly been the moody self for me. But, the real and permanent deal. Hell, I have no idea how long it’s been for something like that in my life. I just want to be happy and not hold onto things anymore. I truly want to turn the year for the better.” 

It was the truth. She wanted happiness. But, she didn’t even know where to begin. It was a small step forward for even allowing people in her life instead of pushing them away. After all, she was the one to determine her happiness. Could it be finding it in a positive outlet, dropping the whole act of pushing people away could be the first step. It would help her to avoid the mindset and believing everyone was out there to hurt her. Thirty years, three decades on this earth, destined to eventually learn and seek forward. Yet, she grew older and saw people around her finding their own set of happiness and jealously arose in her. Having only been seen in such way, the rough exterior and the detective who was determined to solve the cases, part of her was slowly fading away and finding lack of happiness in one thing she promised herself to fight for - for others. Maybe, it was the way she relied her happiness on work instead of realizing her happiness needed to come within. It was something she read online, imaging how to enter into the New Year with a positive outlook compared to last. It was needed. As she paused after the first question, another sigh before laughing, “Nothing.” Was the simple response. Did she achieve anything worth remembering? Beside the news from Asher, things were quite mellow in her life. Work, sleep, eat and repeat. The hanging out with her girls but other than that, just the usual route of her life. Who would’ve thought Athena would’ve gotten this boring at thirty or ever. Younger her would’ve been tearing up the town. Hell, not even Athena expected herself to become this individual. Perhaps losing someone changes you and makes you turn out to be someone else - the person she would’ve always laughed at. She wasn’t always this serious. Sure, she didn’t favor many of people but at least, she knew not to be explosive. “Well, beside having a child’s middle name after me, sadly, nothing.” It was the sad but utter truth. It was the simple end to that question. Staring at herself in the recorded camera, she leaned to grab her glass of wine and indulging in her red wine before holding it out for the camera, like a toast was going to be shared. The striking, uncomfortable image of herself made her wonder how Athena allowed herself to become this person. Perhaps, if she listened to her mother when she was younger, played it like the other girls did and allowed people to love her - there would’ve been an enhanced amount of relief in her life.

Holding onto her wine glass, a tilt of her head brought around an surprising last question but somehow, something of it, brought her to smile before answering. “Oh God, a question as light as day. Something full of humor but perhaps, my favorite one. I like this one, whoever ended up thinking of this one.” Scrunching her nose, her free hand resting lightly on her cheek before lips were pursed. “Well, we all know I want to say Get Fucked, Be Fucked. We all know how strong I am with the profanity.” The words were slipping off her lips with laughter, shaking her head and waving that off for even being her catchphrase. “Honestly, it would probably be... ‘You have to experience pain to realize how much you need to fight for your happiness’.” Her posture was suddenly straightened, genuinely smiling for once this entire evening before nodding. “An entire year to learn and realize over what I want to head into the New Year, maybe it just dawned upon me because of these questions. I know I won’t.. maybe... heal from all of the pain of my previous years but I can try to look forward, right? Right, yes, I can. You’re a video booth.. I’m not expecting you to properly answer me. Honestly, that came to me right on the spot so I’m rather happy over how it came to me. Hell, I swear I’ll copyright this and make sure no one else steals it if it hasn’t been done before.” And for the first time in the evening, Athena felt a sudden weight off her shoulder and taking another look at herself in the screen before giving a thumbs up, sticking her tongue out before pressing end - opening up the curtain and exiting after having relieved something - perhaps, not enough to the specifics but it was enough for her to re-enter into the party with her head held up high and a genuine smile coated her lip. And, that wasn’t due to the liquor. For once, Athena Noelle Walker knew what she wanted going into the new year and it was about damn time.