yo this fic by @malevolentmango is sick as fuck! and once i finished the new chapter i was bored & drew WYAB!akechi... at least i tried to... my brain isnt the best at making Images of people from descriptions of clothing but i think i did well! :3
i didnt know how to draw his mask for a while so there’s Three of them there. Deal w/ it Lmao. sorry abt the shit outlining on them. it is 12am & i am Tired.
anyways Please read what you’ve already buried or i Will bury you. in a tomb. Goodbye.
hi, just wanted to say that i just read through your fic wyab and through your whole loki persona vs the mythological god meta post and: both of them are absolutely amazing. i’ve had my own goro/loki thoughts float around in my brain and i feel like a lot of what you said really meshed in with what i was thinking (particularly what you mentioned abt your loki being more sympathetic than other people’s portrayals. i have a lot of opinions on loki as a persona). i also read both of your other fics (and left a comment, i’m gooserings on ao3) and just wanted to say that i think your characterization is spot on, and if you wanted to post more long meta/analysis things i would definitely read them :)
oh gosh, thank you!! I'm really glad the way I wrote Loki resonated - I've always been interested in Trickster figures so when I got to his reveal in the game I was very excited lol and then digging into what it means for him to be Goro's persona was a lot of fun! If I get possessed with the urge to write more meta like that I'll definitely post it!
meta thoughts on Loki's role in What You've Already Buried
Yes, this is a meta post about my own fic. idk how I got here but I do in fact have a lot of thoughts about Loki and how I chose to combine the p5r persona, the actual mythology of Loki, and Goro's character arc, so here we are.
If you haven't read the whole fic and you care about spoilers, make sure to leave this for after! Also, this got... really long and sort of all over the place. I tried to organize it all but alskdjfa oops?
So, to start, I'll go through the various stories I referenced in the fic. Obviously we're playing fast and loose with the mythology here in general, but stick with me.
Chapter 2
The dream in chapter 2 was the result of me mashing together two different, unrelated stories. The poem Hyndluljóð briefly references Loki eating a woman's roasted heart, and no matter how many times I told myself I didn't need to include that imagery anywhere in my fic, you can see that it ended up there anyway because it's sexy as hell. The rest of that scene, where Goro/Loki talks about his fate and how they will always end up here, is a reference to Loki's role in the death of the god Baldr, which results in Loki being bound and eventually starting Ragnarök when he breaks free. This is the first real hint in the story that Loki is behind all of this - particularly when he refers to Akira as "the bleeding god," which is an epithet for Baldr.
Fun fact about the dream sequences, actually: originally there were only two, the very vague one in chapter 1 and the binding in chapter 3. As I was editing chapter 2, I realized that I wanted to start building up to the eventual reveal of Loki's involvement much earlier than I had while writing (and in fact, when I first started writing this, I hadn't even decided who or what created the app - I just wanted to get the concept down, and it all kind of snowballed from there).
From there though, I picked up a bit of a theme, and a progression. The dreams were meant to parallel certain scenes we get in Goro's confidant route - things like him joking about taking Akira out at the arcade, and the game of billiards that's one big metaphor about Goro's subterfuge. They act as warnings, and in the case of the dreams, rather direct ones: Goro is literally eating Akira's heart. Goro is the one who wanted to kill him, and therefore Loki, as a part of his heart, is a danger to Akira. But Akira never takes them as warnings. What he sees are cries for help, a cycle that Goro can't break out of on his own.
The parallels between Goro and Loki are pretty blatant in this one. Talking about his lies, the people he's killed, how "I can be no other than what I am." That line is actually a reference to the song No More What Ifs, which plays in Jazz Jin: "I do not / regret with my choices I'm rather proud / ooh I know I won't change anything / because I can only be me."
Chapter 3
The dream in chapter 3 was, as Goro himself explains later, the binding of Loki from the poem Lokasenna. This one is actually pretty close to the original, with the major differences being that Loki was bound with the entrails of his own son and the "poison" is actually venom dripping from a snake. I think it's neat that Loki's reaction to the venom touching him is what's thought to create earthquakes, so I wanted to include that as well.
As mentioned above, this dream was actually the first one I wrote. The idea just sort of came to me while writing and I really wanted to include it. This is why it's a bit different from the others, in that it doesn't take place anywhere that would be familiar to Akira, but rather in the Void itself. And I think the result is that it's even more pointed than the previous dream. This is Loki himself showing Akira exactly what he's getting into - that Goro, and by extension himself, comes with a whole helluva lot of baggage. That if Akira goes through with this mission, he will forever be the Sigyn who loves Loki too much to let him be hurt, and must watch him hurt anyway.
But as we know, Akira is too stubborn to let that stop him. Akira believes wholeheartedly in saving people, but especially in saving Goro Akechi. That determination is really put on display in chapter 4.
Chapter 4
The dream in chapter 4 is different in that it's not based on an actual story, but rather on the etymology of the name Loki, which is thought to originate from a Germanic root word related to loops, knots, and hooks. I'm just gonna include the direct quote from Eldar Heide that inspired this because it's pretty great: "There is quite a bit of evidence that Loki in premodern society was thought to be the causer of knots/tangles/loops, or himself a knot/tangle/loop. Hence, it is natural that Loki is the inventor of the fishnet, which consists of loops and knots, and that the word loki is a term for makers of cobwebs: spiders and the like."
It's important to note at this point, I think, that all three of these dreams take place in the story after Akira and Goro have a conversation in the previous scene about who Goro is and what he wants. In chapter 2, Akira dreams of Goro eating his heart in the interrogation room directly after Akira tells Goro what he learned in the Velvet Room and Goro tries to convince Akira that he isn't worth saving.
In chapter 3, Akira dreams of the binding of Loki after Akira tells Goro that he's worthy of Robin Hood, and then teases him about how he found Black Mask Goro, and by extension Loki, attractive. This was partially just for fun (I was imagining it a bit as Loki going "you don't have a book about me yet? well check this shit out--"), but it's also another moment of Akira reaffirming that he wants Goro around.
So chapter 4, then, takes place the same night that Akira sends the thirst trap pic of himself to Goro, and Goro responds with a last ditch attempt at intimidation - trying to insist that even if Akira cares about him, he won't be able to handle the depth of Goro's feelings for him, because they're too much. He's too selfish, too possessive. Unfortunately for him, Akira is into that.
And this dream thus breaks the pattern. The previous ones were about things happening to Akira - he couldn't even speak in them. He was a bystander, a victim. In this one, he is literally bound, a treat all tied up for Goro/Loki to enjoy. The more Akira tries to escape, the more Goro/Loki breaks down, talking about how he can't let Akira go, that everyone leaves him. And when Akira does escape and goes directly to Goro/Loki instead of leaving, he delivers on the promise he didn't even realize he was making two chapters ago: that he will pull Goro out of the cycle and set him free too.
Chapter 5
The PTs genderbending and being chased through a forest came from the Gylfaginning book of the Prose Edda, which details how Loki turned into a mare in order to lure a builder's stallion away from his work and thus cheat him out of his payment from the Æsir. This encounter results in Loki later giving birth to the horse Sleipnir.
Utgard-Loki
From the same book comes the story of Utgard-Loki (technically written Útgarða-Loki, but I chose to leave it as "Utgard" the way the Persona series does). Utgard is a giant who agreed to shelter Loki and Thor for a night in exchange for performing a feat. The reason the Thieves have to do four feats is because there are actually two children with Loki and Thor in the story, but I didn't want to get into all that here. For similar reasons, their feats are a lot more straightforward than, for example, Loki competing in an eating contest against the personification of a wildfire.
Fenrir, Sköll, and Hati
Next, in the forest, we get Fenrir and his sons Sköll and Hati. The two younger wolves are said to chase the sun and moon across the sky until the onset of Ragnarök, at which point they would be caught and swallowed. In the fic, this has already happened, as their light is visible when the wolves howl - implying that Ragnarök has already started, and the Thieves are moving closer to the final battle.
The place they lead the Thieves to, Fenrir's island, is a direct reference to the island Lyngvi (meaning "a place overgrown with heather") where the Æsir bind Fenrir with Gleipnir, as described in Gylfaginning. They do so by tricking him and questioning his courage, saying that if he truly can't break free of this simple ribbon, then he must not be a danger to them after all. In reality, Odin feared Fenrir, who the prophecies said would be the death of Odin, and the gods considered all children of Loki to be too dangerous to be free.
This is where a lot of the threads start to come together with regards to how I chose to portray Loki in this fic: as a deviant, as a trickster, as a murderer, but also as someone who (like Goro) was a victim of his role in the larger story he's part of. Ragnarök can't happen without Loki - it doesn't matter how much he aids the gods, how much he's a part of their ranks. The moment he pulls the strings of Baldr's death, he's an outcast. He is the unwanted, the persecuted, all because it's foretold that he will be. He cannot escape the cycle. No one escapes Ragnarök.
In talking about this story with a friend, I described my portrayal of Loki as being more sympathetic than a lot of other ones I've read in this fandom. I think that really comes through in this scene, even though Loki isn't in it at all. Part of that is because it's from Akira's POV and he has a massive savior complex, but really I just liked the idea of twisting the lens through which we think about Loki as a character and how we connect him to the actual stories about him.
When I was reading about Loki for this fic, the idea I kept coming back to was that he just seems... tragic. That as much as he delights in causing suffering, it comes at the cost of a deep, personal pain. Imagine having everything you've worked for, everything you've done and created, taken away from you at the whims of someone more powerful than you. A player in a game you were born to lose. That's Loki, and it is also, of course, Goro Akechi.
Loki in the Mead Hall
This piece was, of course, inspired by Lokasenna, Loki's Flyting. The Thieves hear the gods reacting angrily to Loki's insults as they approach the building, but ultimately don't understand what all that vitriol means. This was partly because there was no way in hell I was writing an actual flyting, but also because I wanted to show off a bit of Loki's power over this space. It's his realm, after all.
(Fun fact: the descriptions of the mead hall and the forest from the previous scene were loosely based on the truly batshit amount of time I spent playing Valheim.)
This encounter with Loki was actually the first thing I wrote that took place in the Void - I think it was around the same time that I wrote the dream in chapter 3. I wanted to show that Loki is someone to be feared, someone who by his very nature is crafty and powerful and terrifying... and I also wanted to show why that doesn't make him evil by more directly stating his intentions. This is the scene where the Thieves actually get an answer to why Loki is helping them and Goro - because he cares about Goro.
Which sounds like a simple answer - of course the source of Goro's persona cares about him - but it's not. One of the things that trickster figures are known for is defying expectations. The expectation for a god living separate from humans in the Void would be that they don't have particularly strong feelings for them one way or another. We see this in the previous scene when the Thieves encounter Odin, who was once Akira's persona - he acknowledges that connection, but still plans to trick them.
From the moment Loki captured Goro and then gave Akira the Crow app, he was defying his place in the cycle. Loki cannot change his own fate, but he can change theirs - that's what a trickster does. Similarly, Akira also defies expectations when he tells Loki that he wants him to be himself - Loki, who is meant to be a shapeshifter, who is meant to bring destruction by his very nature, is being told that that's okay. After all, Akira loves Goro just the way he is. Why wouldn't he do the same for Loki?
Plus, I just really wanted to make Loki sexy as hell in this scene. I mean Look At Him.
Jörmungandr
His appearance is brief and not as important as others, but there two important bits to take away from this. One, that Akira continues to empathize with Loki and his children where the Thieves are still frightened (this is more just to keep on theme). And two, that Jörmungandr is free - he's not biting his own tail and encircling the world, another sign that Ragnarök has begun.
Fimbulwinter and Ragnarök
So obviously there's a lot going on here. I wasn't pulling directly from any story here, just the general themes: Fimbulwinter is the harsh and unforgiving winter that precedes Ragnarök and puts an end to all life on Earth. Ragnarök itself is then characterized by the great battle in which many of the Æsir die, after which the world burns and is then completely submerged underwater. Only then can the world rise again and the cycle can continue.
An interesting note: While the Thieves battle Ragnarök Loki, the form that Goro's shadow takes, they never actually enter the part of this realm that is Ragnarök. They remain in Fimbulwinter because that's where Goro was being held - because Loki had to keep him far enough in to be safe, but didn't want to put him in the place where Loki himself is doomed to repeat his own death over and over again. It's another example of Loki's strange brand of kindness.
I'm actually pretty happy with how Shadow Loki turned out. The idea that Goro had to face his own shadow was one I took from P4, which a friend was streaming for me and a few others at the time I was writing this. Of course, in P4 it's about accepting a part of yourself you don't want to acknowledge or come to terms with, and that's not really the case for Goro. I think he knows exactly who he is - he's told both Yusuke and Haru outright that he doesn't regret what he's done. For him, facing his shadow is about proving that isn't all that he is - that he is more than the smiling prince and the bloodied assassin and the unwanted child.
And of course, the reason his shadow takes the form of a sort of amalgamation of Loki and his own Black Mask outfit is because Loki is the source of all that. He's the one who gave Goro the power to kill, and Goro used that power without restraint. Goro stepped willingly into the same cycle of violence that Loki has always known, and in this scene, he's finally breaking free of it.
After the fight, we finally get Loki explaining to Goro in his own words why he's done all this. It's slightly different from what he told Akira in the mead hall - to Akira, he admits that he cares for Goro, whereas to Goro himself he says he wants Goro to live because "one of us should." Both answers are correct, but I think the second one is more true to how Loki sees himself and how he sees Goro. Loki is limited by his nature as a god to never change, to always be both an agent and victim of fate, but Goro isn't. And rather than attempt to change himself using the so-called "leeway" afforded to tricksters, Loki uses that power to give Goro the life he himself can never have.
And finally, we have the moment where Goro gives the treasure he took from his shadow to Loki. As Akira learns later in the epilogue, this is a hair pin that belonged to Goro's mother, which he would use to hold a blanket in place around his shoulders when he pretended to be a hero. That he would give such an item to Loki - something he lost years ago after his mother's death, something he will never see again in reality - and thank him for lending him the power to survive as long as he did is, I think, really telling of their connection to each other. In a way, it's almost a challenge, even a threat - Goro is telling Loki not to forget him and what they stood for, no matter how many times he repeats the cycle. He's taking his own stance on the idea that Loki can never change, and that stance is "Try harder then."
And maybe he can. Or maybe he can't. One of the things that I really wanted to explore in this fic is the idea of how a persona and its user overlap with the stories that persona comes from, and Loki and Goro are a great example of this. Two characters bound by fate, doomed to die by their respective narratives. Of course they found each other. And of course Goro would never be happy with the idea of a part of his soul being controlled by outside forces. Whether or not Loki can really change, though, is up to interpretation.
In Conclusion
idk I just think he's neat. Which one of them am I talking about? Yes. If you read all of that nonsense, you're my hero.
And just for fun...
I actually did write an entire move set for Ragnarök Loki, even though it was completely unnecessary. Figured I'd include it here for anyone wondering just how tough a fight that would be!
Ragnarök Loki (2 actions/turn)
Call of Chaos - Boost self's attack but drop defense for 3 turns.
Laevateinn - Colossal Physical damage to 1 foe.
Megidolaon - Severe Almighty damage to all foes.
Concentrate - Multiply user’s next magical attack damage by 2.5.
Sigyn’s Burden - Inflict Despair (high odds) to 1 foe.
Hel’s Retribution - Decrease ATK/DEF/AGI for all foes for 3 turns.
Jörmungandr’s Venom - Medium chance of instantly killing all foes.
Fenrir’s Hunger - Heavy Nuclear damage to 1 foe. Medium chance to inflict Hunger.
Fimbulwinter - Severe Ice damage to all foes.
Ragnarök - Severe Fire damage to all foes and inflict Fear (high odds)
I mean this is just like, incredibly unfair to all my other WIPs, but wyab technically still counts because the epilogue isn't done yet and it IS the one that has possessed me for months. It ended up being a very ambitious project for being both my first p5 fic and the first thing I've written for fandom in about... four years or so? It started as the kind of jokey premise "well what if Akira's phone was haunted by Goro" and it really, REALLY snowballed from there into this exploration of what redemption looks like for Goro Akechi and what Loki represents as one of his personas. I'm very happy with it, and I'm delighted that so many people seem to enjoy it.
📝Share a snippet of an unposted WIP, with or without context.
only context I will give is that this is for shuake week :3
“You know, Akira,” Goro says, peering out the window at the sleepy little town with no small amount of disgust. “If you wanted to kill me, you could’ve just done it in Tokyo and not wasted both our time. I doubt anyone would’ve questioned you.”
Far from being thrown off by Goro blithely joking about his own death, Akira just chuckles. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Akira drives them through the town deftly. It’s clear he knows exactly where he’s going, and Goro watches him with narrowed eyes.
“You’ve been here before,” he says, as Akira parks the car in an otherwise empty lot at the base of a trail that winds up towards the mountain.
“Can’t get anything past you,” Akira says cheekily as he gets out of the car.
Goro scoffs, but follows him. “You can. Just the once, apparently.”
“Ah, yeah.” Akira pulls the bags out of the back and locks up the car, setting off towards the trail. “Guess I burned that one, huh? Hey, can you turn on your phone flashlight? My hands are kinda full.”
“Burning it implies it was wasted.” Goro obliges, lighting up the path in front of them. In the flare of light, he notices Akira giving him a strange look. He refuses to acknowledge it.
📄What’s a WIP you never finished that you would like to go back and revisit?
god, so many... I've been so consumed by wyab that I've hardly worked on anything else but shuake week stuff, and I'm excited to dig into a lot of these when I have the time. I do have a big soft spot for the shuake soulmate au that I got a decent way into before wyab grabbed me by the throat. Soulmate aus are really fun for me - I never write them the way they're meant to be lol. In this case, Goro is absolutely pissed about discovering he has a soulmate, which feels very in character for him. Someone who thinks he has full control of his life and his choices being forced to contend with a fated love interest... delicious.
Hey beautiful! You have amazing, radiant skin. It's just glowing and gorgeous! You have such a great little nose, and AMAZING cheek bones! Your smile is so pretty and white, and your eyes are just lovely. You have great, long hair too!
... Woah. YOUR EYES ARE INCREDIBLE! THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL! Their shape, their clearness, everything!!!! I also adore your makeup :) Your complexion is flawless, and your smile is so full and perky and stunning.
You’re beautiful!
No more submissions tonight please <3
If you guys want to do something sweet for me, vote for melonkids in vanillaocean’s botw poll!
