Here are the last few moments that sealed up my run at the #X45Challenge 2015. I continued the second day in 1st place after winning Event 4 but lost some ground with a 4th place finish in event 5. I missed my 90kg snatch+hang snatch opener thrice in event 6 before dropping to 85kg to seal a score before trying out 90kg again. As you can see, that didn't go too well and Howard Lee crept over me with an 86kg lift. 1 kilogram, 1 point, first place. Being on the podium is a privilege no matter what but I think this one stung close to the heart. I spent a good portion of last night wrestling with my mind because you can say second place is a great finish but also dude you messed up and lost first place by one point but also it wasn't yours to begin with but also maybe you need to look past that. I came into this competition humbled by the love and support shown to me by people I didn't know. This instagram account has become some sort of inspirational thing and I didn't realize my musings, struggles and hopes would reach people on an intercontinental level. I remember praying at the start of this career that I might be used to "show Your love and forgiveness" in quite a generic way. I've seen that in my own life through the various competition/training moments that touch me on a deeper level and tried to put it out without using (sometimes meaningless) "holy words" When I failed my 90kg hang snatch yesterday, at least 5 people came round to get me on my feet, dusting me off, telling me I was a champ in their eyes and that they were cheering me on all the way. So maybe winning first place isn't an answered prayer. Maybe winning first place would have been my heart having finally gotten what it's craved. And maybe that's not really winning at all, not in the grand scheme of things. Love is winning. Having people share your life and your hopes, failures and dreams and helping you be accountable to them is winning. Knowing that the man up there knows your heart and what it can bear and that every successful new challenge overcome is part of that grand scheme of life counts as a win beyond the immediate crowns. #stateracrew #teamsossg #crossfit (presso Likas Sports Complex)