#xcom squaddies

[knightrepentant]

Me, the Commander of XCOM: *shoves a wallet into your face, unfolding a long line of photos of all my squaddies* Look at my beautiful children, they can’t hit a fucking thing but I love them.

[globalcooldown]

And so, the brave and powerful Beefcake McBiceps gave his life to move the self-destructing alien mothership out of Earth's orbit, where it exploded with all its alien leadership. His heroics shall be remembered for all time; his handlebar mustache shall become a thing of legend.

And yet, Gutpunch Shinkicker and Zoosmell Pooplord shall never forget that moment, rushing out of the temple ship, when they looked back on their longtime friend and comrade and realized what a grave sacrifice he had to make--what sacrifice they all had to make. The no-nonsense Shinkicker lost a fellow badass and possible love interest; Pooplord, a dear mentor.

The other squaddies didn't look back as the ship collapsed, but they felt the loss all the same. The XCOM project had to shell out a good deal of money to repair several walls Francis Zombiestomper decided to punch in. Ashley Williams poured one out for the lost soldier; Roxy Lalonde poured out one too many in his honor. And Senpai Mangabeard, the revered Senpai, not only noticed him, but noticed him enough to shed a single manly tear.

Rest in peace, Col. McBiceps. You've done humanity proud.

[globalcooldown]

Got a new squaddie as a quest reward

Everyone please welcome Cpt. Kiltslinger "Third Wheel" Florentine.