#xechu asks

[xechu]

Honor and vengeance is absolutely my favorite fic ever. Like it genuinely just takes the cake it is so well developed, the slow burn the yearning the world building and characters. Like aughhahah it's tew good. I hope to see more soon chaps soon, your stories are beautiful. I'm hoping to start the higuruma ex husband fic soon, never stop writing queen 🥹💘

Bagel!! Thank you for your kind message both from AO3 and here. ❤️

(more below the cut)

H&V has constantly been on the back of my mind, ever since the release of Chapter 8. Even though I've been in the worst creative drought ever I think about it all the time. I have such a soft spot for my H&V followers, because I truly feel the patience, dedication, and love for this series from you all.

I have begun writing again, but it's more as an overall thing than it is specifically for H&V. I really want to find my rhythm and groove again, and hopefully chapter 9 will come out the way I want it to. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Personally, I was (and still am) really excited about chapter 9. I have a clear vision for it, but the words are just not flowing the way I am satisfied with.

I hope you enjoy the Higuruma fic! It has completely taken me by surprise by how many people liked it. Haha.

Thank you for the love. ❤️

[xechu]

Is Honor and Vengeance still continuing or has it been abandoned? If still going, when do you think it will be updated? No need to rush, just curious /nm

Nope, it remains ongoing!

If I decide to discontinue it, I will definitely put out a notice.

Hmm… as for when it will be updated, I am unfortunately not too sure. Sadly, I’ve been on the worst creative drought. On a good day I might get a sentence in, and on a bad day I delete everything I have.

I, too, wish that I could jump back into it asap, but it has not been a good time for me in terms of writing.

Thank you for your interest, nonnie. 🌼

[xechu]

Can you pleaseeee write a follow up for "objection, your honor: i still love my (ex) wife" its one if the best things i read on this site

Hi nonnie, I would love to do a follow-up! However, I’ve been in an awful writing stump 🥲 but I’ll be back with something when the inspiration hits. Thank you for the love!

[xechu]

sae please take all the time you need for the next chapter! the fic is so special to me because the way you tell the story really transports me into this world you've created💌 like i'd be reading H&V and wouldn't even have to try hard to imagine what's happening because the scenes just play inside my mind as my eyes move through the words💫 i wanted to tell you i appreciate how much thought you put into writing it👉👈 on top of the slow-burn romance, there's so much lore to explore and i'm excited to see how things unfold eventually! and of course i know suguru has a very long way to go before he redeems himself😤 ...but the kiss gave me butterflies, i hate to admit😔 i love how you sprinkle just the tiniest🤏 crumbs of romantic scenes across chapters like that time they rode together on horseback, suguru draping some garment over reader to shield her from the rain (which didn't really help), or her taking care of him when he got ill. i swear they'll be glaring at each other and i'm over here thinking: "ooOoOOohh you two want each other so bad😏" and i can just imagine they'd look at me deeply offended then i'd go: "i mean maybe not right now– but someday you two will be all over each other, sorry i don't make the rules🤷‍♀️"

Aww, thank you nonnie. You are so incredibly sweet. ❤️ It's so rewarding to hear how much you enjoy H&V. Even though I write for my own enjoyment - I've come to realize and acknowledge that it really is all the love and enthusiasm that motivates me. Because if I'm being completely transparent, my enjoyment alone is not enough to keep me consistently updating.

H&V is the first piece that I'm genuinely happy about, because I felt like I finally leaned more into my own style and really understood what kind of work I wanted to put out. I'm super excited about how the plot is unfolding, and how all the characters are coming to life - there's definitely a lot of room for lore exploration. 😁

Yessss, I LIVE for small romantic gestures. Nothing overtly loud or performative (unless the occasion calls for it). Hehe. Personally, I liked the kiss too and that tiny moment of realization. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ And when I wrote the horse part I kinda giggled because my immediate thought was "poor horse, it didn't sign up to have its back broken like this, but it shall for the sake of my story."

And I'm also so glad to know that you're able to envision the scenes as you read. I think one of my biggest struggle is actually with scenery and descriptive details, so I'm trying to put a bit more of a conscious effort in finding the perfect balance. 🙈

Another one of my biggest concern was pacing, so I spent a lot of fretting over it and asking myself "ok, would so and so do/say this, at this point in time?" "what are the consequences/ripple effect of their action or inaction? and how would that affect the narrative?" "is this happening too fast, or too slowly?" "have I lingered on this for too long?" - but I know that's all very subjective at the end of the day, so at some point I just have to roll with it.

Suguru is definitely entering his remorseful/yearning era. And there will be a huge power shift in the upcoming chapter, which I can't wait to share!! Right now I do have a full draft completed (yay) 🤟, but I'm just ironing out the details, and seeing what I need to close the book on for arc 1, and what groundwork I need to lay out for arc 2.

Thank you so much for your lovely message. Truly, it made my day, because I was in a bit of a stump and felt a bit anxious about the arc finale. ❤️❤️

[xechu]

hello sae! 👋🏻💛 may i ask what inspired you to write honor & vengeance? it's my fave ongoing x reader fic rn, but i'm a bit too shy to comment so i think i'll leave an anon ask instead🙈 i was looking for historical aus with geto (i kid you not, i looked through every fic in ao3 hoping someone else sees the vision and does his character justice) because i feel like he just suits the trope so well! there's actually a really fun regency era/bridgerton-esque au from 2022 written by ao3 user: loversfleur entitled: "dishonorable." suguru and reader have so much chemistry in it; it kind of gave me pride & prejudice vibes🤭 there were plenty of silly moments that made me laugh out loud as well, and it's one of those fics that made me sad when i noticed i was already at the final chapter. so when i stumbled across your fic, i felt like i hit the jackpot🥳 i got so excited to see that h&v only had around three chapters then because that meant more ✨️plot✨️ is getting cooked up. sae chapter 7 was so satisfying and felt like the best place to hit pause on the story. i hope you have a long and relaxing break; thank you for sharing the first arc of h&v with us readers!

Hi sweet nonnie 💗 It warms me that despite your shyness you still took your time to submit this ask - thank you so much! 😊 I’m so glad that H&V found its way to you!! I will definitely check out Dishonorable 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ (I just bookmarked it, so I know what I’ll be doing tonight) thank you for the rec! 🙏🏻 I love Pride & Prejudice!!! I wanted to actually delve more into the AO3 side hehe because in terms of reading it’s so much easier on there! And I know there’s a trove of goodies out there waiting to be explored.

Oouu. I love these questions! There were many things that inspired H&V - this entire story started with this one very specific scene in mind, which I haven’t written out yet! But if the way the story pans out still allows this scene to be added, then it will come up in Arc 2! And I’ll let you know then ~ 😌

Another inspiration is my alleged ancestry. I say alleged because I have no clue how accurate it is, and just take it with a grain of salt (but inspiration is inspiration nonetheless ☝🏻😎). So that’s where the idea of a general and a judge’s daughter came from. I had an uncle that crashed out during his one year of unemployment and did a whole deep dive on our family tree, and tried to reconnect with long lost relatives. Needless to say, most of them were skeptical and thought he was some unhinged man and hung up on him (because honestly same, I would too).

In terms of reader’s character especially - I was inspired by characters like Navier from the Remarried Empress, Ariadne from I’m the Queen in This Life, and Asha from The Age of Arrogance. I just adore resilient and intelligent women without it being overly preachy, while still having their flaws, insecurities, and adversities they have to overcome, which makes them human.

I LOVE historical settings there’s something about it that really draws me in. My love for storytelling didn’t actually begin with reading - it started with video games. So growing up playing Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda - really influenced me to gravitate towards history, fantasy, and even mythology!

I do have other historical/mythology au stories planned out 😌😌 but knowing more than 90% of my WIPs don’t make the cut feels kinda wrong of me to further tease you all about it 🙊

Thank you so much for your ask!! 🫶🏻💕 I’ll definitely let you know what I think of Dishonorable when I’m done ☺️☺️

[xechu]

Just a heads up the version of the link you chose indicates whether we can open them from with in Tumblr or if it takes us off the app to our mobile browser. Mostly only an issue for longer chapter fics with master lists. If I see chapter 8 first but want to start on chapter 1 it takes me off the map and makes rwofging/etc difficult

Hi cloudy, thank you for letting me know! I appreciate it so much. I presume you have come across this issue on the Honor & Vengeance series since you mentioned Chapter 8.

I have scoured the internet (Reddit) for a fix and I think I might have been able to fix it. I have since gone back and made edits to all the links tied to this series.

I would super appreciate it if you (or someone else who also had this issue while reading H&V) are able to help confirm if it has been fixed, since I personally never encountered that problem so I'm unable to tell if the fix worked or not. But I rechecked all the links between my computer and phone, and the links seem to be working as intended.

Crossing my fingers! 🤞🤞Thanks again!!

[xechu]

i accidentally came across this tweet and look at that, isn’t it just our precious general?? haha 🫶🏻

Evvie, this is so adorable!! Bahaha. YESS, this is definitely our precious general. 1000% 🥰🥰 he gives such cat energy too!

[xechu]

xechu! i know i was going to be rambling so i figured to send it in a lengthy message than under a post regarding my music choice for h&v! im so sorry if this is long, i went on a tangent 😭

aaah im shy hehe when it comes to h&v reader i think of andromeda - weyes blood. there's piece of lyric specifically that makes me SOB thinking of lady geto.

"treat me right, im still a good man's daughter"

i bawl my little eyes out. id like to think this would be a cry out from lady geto's thoughts when she was deeply injured physically and mentally from suguru's choice to save ayaka and his attempts at reconciliation. i think about those scenes where suguru treats her with such coldness despite remembering his late father's saying that suguru is his pride but sayuri is his honor to which reader's father expressed the same sentiment. our reader is still a lovely girl at the end of the day and someone's daughter underneath her layers being lady geto and guild leader.

"stop calling it's time to let me be if you think you can save me i dare you to try"

suguru might vaguely understand the severity of her swordhand being rendered inoperable (for now though, i have no doubt she'll keep fighting with grace), but the life of the sword is what dedicated herself by and we know how much that means to her as its her call to freedom + purpose. id like to think that this is her pleading for him to leave her alone after all the damage he's caused be it directly or not but with his stubborn need to show his alliance to her, its become a challenge where she dares him to try when all odds are against him at this point.

there's another song i love to listen to however it is in chinese called painted heart II - jane zhang. the english translation is what reminds me of the current relationship between suguru and ayaka as the song takes on a sad note of a woman expressing her heartache watching the man she loves find happiness in another woman. the poetic lyric describes ayaka's muddled feelings throughtout her interactions with suguru and lady geto.

"i watch the peach blossoms to see how they bloom i look at you embracing me with eyes as lonely as moonlight"

i'd like to think that when ayaka came to the eastern campsite, she is confused by suguru's distance and desperate to be his no matter what to solidify those feelings once more. in the scene where lady geto catches them in a vulnerable romantic moment, i think about how suguru describes ayaka smelling of peaches as he's almost in a trance to kiss her.

"exactly who has bewitched your heart?"

i have a vision that the second suguru pulled away from ayaka to chase after lady geto, she was deeply stricken with hurt from this as she has been the only woman in his life that he gave regard for until that point as well as his concern over lady geto's wound when they were escorted out by haibara. i don't think ayaka necessarily hates or has ill intentions toward lady geto but overwhelming sadness and envy for her brilliance and understanding of suguru more than ayaka tries.

"i'll just let you find happiness in someone else's embrace"

i feel like over time ayaka is going to mourn the idea that suguru and her will no longer be official lovers as the difference between them has grown over the years. lady geto understands that the world is full of hurt and to conquer her way through is by being cunning whereas ayaka is living life of naivety and innocence that suguru yearns for that he has seen for so long as reality when it's been a denial to his true self as someone who's shed blood. ayaka and suguru may have had a youthful love that could have blossomed to something beautiful however with the circumstances of his life, he would need a woman of sagacious caliber that matches house geto's strength in mind and body.

and lastly for suguru, i feel that wicked game - chris isaak fits his character best regarding lady geto. i feel like this entire song is reminiscent of geto as the lyrics depict one who doesn't want to fall in love but can't help it. the song's meaning is primarily about attraction to those that aren't good for you but this is my world rn so let me cook with suguru.

"the world was on fire and no one could save me but you"

i feel like this can be a lyric that is befitting of lady geto's affect on suguru as she has on multiple occasions helped him out with duties and more as the story continues. i think that the "world" can be symbolic of suguru's dark mind that is constantly thinking about his revenge on king sato. i believe that as time goes by, suguru is going to slowly rely more on lady geto without realizing it as she understands his way of life and possibly be in a future situation where their eventual trust in each other is going to save them from death.

the overall lyrics are simple and repetitive yet they mostly describe dreaming of a person, there is resistance to the feelings the singer has for that said individual. i really liked that you inserted suguru's dreams that recently included lady geto in them which is different from his usual dreaming of his past which the song reminds me of. he tries to resist the allure of lady geto yet her mysterious behavior is what captivates him no matter how much he tries to deny it.

"i never dreamed that i'd meet somebody like you"

this one makes me giggle because he initially thought he was settling for a quiet and submissive wife that would be easy to keep silent for the duration of his marriage however lady geto is the one to control the situation by allowing others to see her as demure until she strikes. i love that lady geto amazes yet pisses suguru off by being an absolute badass that he cannot predict. i aim to be clever like her.

if you read this entire thing, thank u. i might have gotten too excited 🤍✌️

MIA. 😭💗 OH MY—

You don't understand!!! I am over the moon with your message. ily 🫶🏻 You've definitely hit the nail on soo many things, which makes me relieved because sometimes I worry if I didn't delve deep enough on certain things, etc.

(yap and analysis below the cut)

our reader is still a lovely girl at the end of the day and someone's daughter underneath her layers being lady geto and guild leader.

1000% This really hits for me, because from my observation, women who are capable, intelligent, and reliable unfortunately, do not receive the same empathy from others, compared to those who come off as docile, or even 'incompetent'. But at the end of the day, everyone is human and even the strongest and most resilient person yearns for understanding and someone to lean on. And that whole realization and acknowledgment that mc is beloved by her father... yeah, that made me shed a tear as I wrote it.

id like to think that this is her pleading for him to leave her alone after all the damage he's caused be it directly or not but with his stubborn need to show his alliance to her, its become a challenge where she dares him to try when all odds are against him at this point.

Yeah, at this point after everything that mc has gone through there's a lot of conflict inside her, which we will continue to explore in the upcoming chapters. I know on the surface it may seem like it's easy for her to just let Suguru go, but it's not that simple. And in the upcoming chapter, we'll explore more about what she thinks of all this. Tbh, Suguru is enthralled by mc, but it's safe to say there are parts of him (despite how cold and neglectful he's been) that mc can respect and even admire. At the end of the day, it takes a certain character and grit to keep House Geto afloat from a young age, and to come as far as he has.

i'd like to think that when ayaka came to the eastern campsite, she is confused by suguru's distance and desperate to be his no matter what to solidify those feelings once more.

i don't think ayaka necessarily hates or has ill intentions toward lady geto but overwhelming sadness and envy for her brilliance and understanding of suguru more than ayaka tries.

Yesss, I'm so glad you don't just pin Ayaka as a villain right off the bat. I know it's very easy to dislike Ayaka at the moment, but at the core of it all... I'd like to think she doesn't mean anything malicious. Is she jealous, bitter, maybe even resentful after this whole ordeal? Perhaps. But her feelings - though negative - are understandable.

Taking into consideration where true love scarcely existed especially in high society and how everything was a political maneuver, we can't exactly fault her for clinging onto Suguru... even despite the fact that he's married. Especially, from her understanding, the feelings were mutual.

In fact, Ayaka's position in my honest opinion is quite pitiful - she's essentially her father's pawn and she knows it. She was basically groomed from the day she was born to become a charming, refined, and appealing woman, so that she can be married off to someone powerful. I know it's easy to compare Ayaka to MC and be like omg, Ayaka is so dense, annoying, and tone deaf, but again, she's basically been a bird trapped in a gilded cage her whole life.

Also huge disclaimer: I'm not trying to pitch that one type of woman is better than another. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. And I think a bulk of Ayaka's ignorance and insensitivity comes from her sheltered upbringing. I.e when she thought she could just plead with her father to be with Suguru, which we all know is not that simple. And though King Sato has been kind with Ayaka, it's safe to assume his love is conditional (but Ayaka doesn't see that). And also, when she said something super naive as: “I don’t care that I’m not Lady Geto, and if I must be second—” - basically here she was willing to be Suguru's second wife, without entirely understanding the reality of things. Hypothetically speaking, even if Suguru took her as a second wife, will she truly be happy then? Is her love for him enough for her to endure the complicated dynamics?

Anyway, I don't want to give away too much of Ayaka, because I do have a chapter that's dedicated to her in the upcoming arc. But perhaps it's just a little food for thought right now. ;)

he tries to resist the allure of lady geto yet her mysterious behavior is what captivates him no matter how much he tries to deny it.

omg, Wicked Game is perfect! Hahaha. The tension and realization is definitely there. Suguru is a man that values competence, and I think after feeling like he's the only one standing atop the mountain could be suffocating. It goes back to that whole theme of idealized love vs compatibility. Yes, perhaps if his family hadn't been massacred, if tragedy hadn't struck, Ayaka may have been the one who was good for him. But he also understands now at this point in his life and where he's gotten - Ayaka simply can't keep up or understand even if she tried. There is a darkness in Suguru which I believe is very overwhelming, and it's not easy to accept. But we all know mc is capable of doing so, and I think Suguru is slowly beginning to realize that too.

At the end of the day everyone just wants someone to understand and love them unconditionally, and all it takes is just one person. 😊😊

Thank you for your message and analysis, Mia. I appreciate you sm!! 💗💗