a/n: this was a request! hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3 ! haven't written a jk fic in such a long time, hope you guys would like this as much as you liked my previous one, and hopefully, the lovely person who requested this would like it too. hope i used your idea well! enjoy and as always, stay safe! xoxo
you'd be lying if you said you aren't a fan of your own friend.
you'd be lying if you said you don't know his every song word by word, if you said you don't try to go to his every concert and admire his legendary art that's expressed in flashy lights and embellished in high notes and guitar solos. you'd be lying, also, if you said that you don't have a crush on him.
and you're a good liar.
jungkook was born to be a rockstar, and most of the time, you dare think he was born to be your friend as well. only your friend, sadly. the theory that he was made for the stage was proven to you once again tonight, after he made a whole stadium scream all the words to his songs in a show that was nothing short of magical.
as you walk backstage, it's like the fiery buzz inside your body still lingers from earlier. your ears stuffed from the loud music, your throat raspy from singing, legs soft from jumping around a little too much. the adrenaline doesn't want to leave, holding on to every cell of your body like it would never depart.
it's stupid, you think. how after the years have passed, you never managed to confess to him, that you thought your little dumb crush would pass- even though it never did. you grew accustomed to every time that the butterflies in your stomach replaced the tired feeling after a concert when you went to see him backstage. tonight was no different. especially as his voice was starting to be heard from a room.
"tonight was fucking amazing, guys!" he exclaims happily just as you gaze inside the room.
"it sure was," you say excitedly, awaiting for his reaction. he turns around, his face lighting up even more when he sees you, legs already carrying him quickly towards your figure as he hugs you tightly with a wide smile on his face. "it's good to see you too!" you add out of breath as you wrap your own hands around him.
six years. that's how long you've been friends. you started out as nothing more than coworkers, back when he was at the beginning of his musical career and you were only an assistant to his old producer. things evolved fast, you had a passion for writing and producing, he was the only one interested in it, and that was one of the many things that brought the two of you together. the passion you both had for music.
you left the label just a year after you met, hand in hand, ready to take on the challenges that the industry was ready to throw at the both of you.
you wrote and wrote and wrote. jungkook sang even more. and in your little home improvised studio, you managed to write, record and produce what is remembered, even to this day, as his best album.
his career boomed after that. tv appearances, fully-booked concerts in big-ass stadiums, a lot of awards (he even took you as a date to the grammys that one time), and even movie castings. no one could get enough of him. not even you.
you both became a lot more busy after that, success was taking over your lives and so, you didn't have much time to see each other. but you still did once every couple of months at his concerts, or at your birthdays, or random dinners you would plan.
he writes his own songs now, what a pity. but he still asks your opinion for each and every one of them.
"you're here!" he says, leaning out of the hug. "you made it!"
"of course i made it!" you answer with equal excitement that you find in his tone while looking into his eyes.
"oh, don't you dare say that," the man scolds as he breaks physical contact with you. "i know how busy you always are."
you smile. it's true, but never too busy to make time for him.
sometimes you asked yourself if jungkook actually knew how you felt about him. if deep in his heart he knew one of his best friends had feelings for him, but didn't want to accept it. once in a while you caught yourself staring at him for too long, or answering him in a sweeter tone than you usually do, even trying to look your best every time you saw him. maybe he knew and didn't feel the same, so he chose to ignore it.
you liked to fantasize about how it would turn out if you ever confessed to him- if it would play out like in those romance movies and he will say that all this time, he felt the same about you. you'd go ahead and move in together, you would be with him during the tours, seeing his every concert, and he would be in your studio every time you finished a song so he can hear it first.
but jungkook was a precious friend. you could never ruin that with your stupid crush.
you greet the members of his band, which you already know too well. jungkook took great pride in being your friend, so he made sure you got to meet them even before he played his first show. you congratulate them for the amazing show, and then go back to catch up with jungkook.
"so there's this after party," he says, looking at you with a demanding look on his face. it makes your heart skip a few beats. "you coming, right?"
his hair is a lot different than the last time you saw him. he used to have this beautiful medium-long black hair that went just below his pretty eyes but now he shaved his sides, bleaching it on top and dyeing it in a beautiful minty color. he sent you a picture right after he got the new haircut a few days ago, saying that he needed "a pop of color in his life now that he got to see you so rarely.". you thought about that message for days. he had a new piercing in his brow, and a few more tattoos on his hand.
"so you can ditch me again for some girl?" you huff, rolling your eyes at him jokingly.
although fame took over his life, jungkook never abused his power, but still, he was a man with needs who knew how to take advantage of his looks to take any girl into his bed. it was of no surprise when he looked way above hot even before he was a star. it never really bothered you, seeing him with all those pretty girls. it's not like you ever confessed to him.
"i never did that!" he says, hand over his heart, taking fake offense to your words. you raise a brow and he laughs. "okay, fine, I'm all yours tonight."
it makes you laugh too, knowing that at the end of the night, this will be proved as a lie and it will be just another thing you can shove in his face the next time.
"c'mon it's a good opportunity for us to catch up with each other," he pleads as he places a hand on top of yours, making your skin burn right underneath his touch.
"all right then, playboy," you say while slapping his firm shoulder. "you're lucky I'm in the mood to get wasted."
in no more than half an hour, you already arrive at the club where jungkook's party takes place. the place is crowded, filled with pretty models, different artists that you recognize from tv, and even artists you collaborated with. you see a few fellow producers that you greet with the wave of a hand and a bright smile. as you look around, you realize that the place is filled with celebrities and you might just be the most mundane of all.
you follow your friend who aims straight for the bar, greeting the bartender with a cozy handshake. he says something close to his ear, making sure he is heard even with the loud music playing in the background. the other man nods and places two shot glasses on the bar, filling them right after with clear liquid.
"cheers!" he shouts as he hands you a shot, while he takes the other one. you click the small glass to his and throw your head backward as you let the vodka pour down your throat, burning its way to your stomach.
"i'm just gonna go and say hi to some people around, that ok?" he asks as he gets closer to your ear. you remain petrified for a second, getting a whiff of his perfume as all your attention goes to how his shoulder leans into yours, the simple gesture making your heart beat faster.
you manage to nod, and with a smile on his face, jungkook makes his way through the crowd, greeting people left and right, as he makes it known that the real star of the night has arrived.
time passes by and you're left with no other choice than to drink some more, or to hold conversations with a few familiar faces that recognize you as well. you're about six shots and two cocktails down and everything starts to feel more familiar. the dance floor filled with people having fun, the bright colorful lights that shine on you every now and then as you sway your body left and right to the rhythm of the song playing...what feels the most familiar though, is how jungkook has ditched you yet again. when you see him in the corner talking to a beautiful red-haired girl, flirting his ass off as she can't stop smiling at his words, you just scoff, realizing you need another drink.
you make your way to the bar, pushing past the sweaty bodies until you reach your destination and ask for a drink.
"haven't seen you around," you hear a husky unfamiliar voice from next to you.
you turn your head to find the source and you're met with a pleasing sight. a tall man sitting straight on the stool next to you as he drinks from a glass of whiskey. his hair is dark brown, swiped away from his beautiful face, making his sharp jawline more prominent than it might be in reality. in your drunken-daze you realize that you've never seen him before- he would be a recognizable sight for you have rarely seen men as handsome as he is.
"i could say the same," you say as you raise your glass in front of him. it takes a few seconds before he touches it with his glass and drinks some more of the brown liquid.
"i'm kai." he says, beautiful smile adorning his features as he offers you his hand.
"y/n." you reply, shaking his big hand shyly. he has a soft hold on you, not making it last longer than a few seconds so you don't become uncomfortable.
"what brings you around here, y/n?" he asks curiously, and fuck, your name sounds so delicious rolling out his pretty mouth.
"ah," you begin while pulling a stool closer to him before plopping down onto it. "he is what brings me here." you complete, pointing to jungkook who seems to have a business yet to be finished with the redhead.
the more you look at him the more your heart sinks down your chest. how could he abandon you again? he could be such an asshole sometimes.
"didn't know the man of the hour had such a beautiful girlfriend," kai purrs the compliment as he leans closer.
"oh, no, no, no," you quickly blurt out with a chuckle. "i'm not his girlfriend."
he raises his brows, intrigued by your answer. you take the time to scan his features more, wide eyes framed by long eyelashes, rounded chin, and plump lips- very kissable at that.
"what?" he asks, amused by your own involuntary giggle that came out of you at the sound of your thoughts. the room spins around a little as you look into his eyes, he is definitely a charmer.
"i was just thinking," you blurt with a stupid grin on your face. alcohol in combination with a very hot man that seems to be interested in you might not make such a good combination.
"do tell," he urges as he suddenly moves one strand of hair from your face, tucking it safely behind your ear. your heart skips a bit, forcing your eyes to widen as you look at him.
"your lips," you say shyly, drifting your attention back to the meaty element plastered on his face.
"what about them?" he asks as his face comes closer to yours. he intimidates you, not in a bad way but in a "you're really drunk and you don't think you can resist him" kind of way. but then again, his attractiveness might be something you could not resist even if you were the most sober woman on earth.
you dare say nothing more as you place a hand on his muscly bicep, not knowing if you should push him away or pull him closer. time seems to be frozen in place as he awaits for your answer, and you have none other to give.
things are quite different on the other side of the room. jungkook's attention has been fully on you since the moment you sat on the bar stool, ending any conversation he had right then. his eyes were fully fixed on you, and of course, the stranger at the bar who was so obviously flirting with you. you seemed to be flirting back as well, fluttering your eyelashes at him any chance you got, and a certain unidentified feeling started to burn in the pit of his chest, making him rush to you when he saw you getting closer and closer to him. there was no way in hell you would hook up with that man in the state you're in.
jungkook often mistook jealousy for worry, but now was not the time to debate on that, not while you were almost kissing the man in front of you.
he came out of nowhere, grabbing you by your arm as he excused himself in front of kai and dragged you to a quieter hallway. a darker one that most probably led to the bathrooms, which no one was even interested in.
"what are you doing?" he growls into your ear, and if you didn't know him better you would say he sounds jealous.
"what?" you ask confused as you piece things together. "the guy at the bar?"
"yes. what was that?" he demands to know, his chest pressed against yours as he traps you between the cold wall and his sturdy body.
you start laughing, trying to push him away, but he doesn't move an inch. you look up to him in the dim lighting of the club, his cold features traced by the shadows, his wet lips that you'd wish to kiss instead of that one guy who now sits alone at the bar, you notice as you turn away from jungkook.
"can you answer me?" he asks again, this time in a softer tone as his hands cup each side of your face.
there's nowhere else to look than into his eyes. you feel mad knowing that he suddenly feels betrayed by the one thing he always does to you.
"what? i was just blowing some steam off for fuck's sake! am i not allowed? are you the only one who gets to ditch me?" you spit, feeling frustration take over your body. the audacity he has, to account you for his action when he is reckless with his own.
"just go hook up with some girl around here and leave me alone," you add as you slap his hands off your face, pushing him away as you try to maintain your balance enough to walk away from him.
"you're drunk." he remarks.
"so?" you ask.
"so you're gonna fuck some guy you just met in this state?"
maybe. maybe not. what's his deal anyway? you're a fully grown adult who can make decisions for yourself.
"i don't see how that's your problem." you reply, turning your back on him.
you take two, maybe three steps before you feel his hand pulling you back, pinning you in the same spot against the wall, trapping you again with his muscular body.
for a second you think you are dreaming. that he is not there, and neither are you. that his lips on top of yours are just a figment of your imagination, and the smell- no, his smell, is just a ghost of all the times you were close enough to him to smell it.
your nails dig into your palm just to make sure you're not imagining, and this is really happening.
his hand brushes your cheek, soft lips searching your own for some kind of resistance- which they are not met with. you melt into it, it's something you craved for such a long time, isn't it? jungkook's body presses further on yours, leaving you breathless when his other hand hugs your waist, and his tongue pushes past your lips to play with your own wet muscle.
he tastes sweet, you realize, not like alcohol the way you do, but sweet nectar that gathers on his tongue every time he slides it on your own. your body feels hot, jungkook's might be even hotter as your hands place themselves on his torso only to feel his hard abs.
no. this can't be right.
"no, no, no," you say quickly, snapping back to reality, causing jungkook to quickly stop his actions. "what are you doing?" you ask, searching his eyes filled with confusion to find an answer.
"didn't you say you wanted to blow some steam off?" he asks innocently, waiting until you roll your eyes to show you one of his smug smiles.
true. but is this the answer? you keep thinking that this must come at a price. that you will give in to temptation and end up regretting every decision you've ever made.
his face gets close to yours again. you close your eyes, preparing for another kiss, but it doesn't come. jungkook's nose brushes your own softly, then your cheek, then it grazes against your eyelashes sweetly. it tickles in a pleasant way so you giggle quietly, but he is so close that you bet he can hear your heartbeats, even over the loud music.
"come home with me," he says after a low chuckle. "please." the man adds, whispering close to your ear just so that his hot breath fans over your sensitive skin.
his voice is trembling as he pleads for you to grant his wish, and you barely manage to keep your knees from shaking as you think about his proposal. it would not be the first time you go to his home, of course, but it was the first time when it actually implied something more than just staying over.
"what for?" you tease, placing your hands on his wide chest.
you get to feel more of him as he chuckles in response to your words. you feel his muscular chest, his irregular breaths, his warmth, and even the way his heart beats.
"to blow that steam off," he answers smugly as his hands take a hold of you again, finding comfort on your hips.
"you mean you want to fuck me?" you ask bluntly. maybe the alcohol was starting to affect you a bit now.
"you don't?" he pushes, pulling you closer by your hips until there's not even an inch in between your bodies.
you do. it's like a wish come true, in reality, and in the magic of the moment, you don't even bother yourself with overcomplicated existential questions like "does he even like me, or does he just want to fuck me?" or "what is going to happen if you do it? will you still be friends? will you even talk tomorrow?". you decide to handle these questions another time, right now you aren't going to say no to something you want to do anymore.
"let's go then," you say as you lace your fingers with his, leading him out of the club. he follows closely in your footsteps, holding your hand tightly as his body comes in contact with yours once every few people decide to not make space for both of you.
you find a cab as soon as you're out of the noisy club. the driver- a middle-aged man that was polite enough to turn on the radio loudly as soon as you and jungkook started kissing, seemed to have no idea who the man accompanying you is. the exact same man who was now touchier than ever, sliding his smooth palm all over your body.
"we're in a cab." you remind him quietly when his ear comes in the proximity of your mouth.
he only chuckles darkly, scooting closer to you as he makes sure the driver doesn't see any part of your body in the mirror. his hands slide slowly up your thighs as he makes eye contact with you, lips adorning a wide smile.
"i'm sure he's seen worse, baby," he assures you as his palm climbs up your leg, until it reaches the zipper of your jeans. he pulls it down slowly while kissing your neck, his hand sneakily toying around with the elastic band on your panties.
you bite your lower lip in disbelief, trying to contain shaky breaths as jungkook's mouth becomes more insistent on your neck, leaving wet kisses and red marks blooming on your skin as he sinks his teeth into it. his smell is driving you insane, expensive cologne scented like musk and bergamont that invades all your senses, leaving no room for anything other than him.
fuck, you think as soon as his hand slides past your panties and finds a hold of your aching clit quickly, way too quickly. he smiles when your hips rise to meet his touch, craving for more as his fingers start rubbing smooth circles on your bud, igniting a certain heat in the whole entirety of your body. he kisses you again, drowning your silent moans with his mouth, his lips, his tongue, his teeth. you can't get enough.
your hand trembles as it reaches out for him, going straight to the erection in his slacks, rubbing it in the same rhythm he rubs you. you're surprised by the length and the girth of it, making your mouth water instantly as you think how it would be to have him inside you. your pussy craves it, and aches for it as jungkook's hand shows no mercy in rubbing your clit with immense hunger to see his purpose fulfilled.
you start zoning out, already feeling your body sensing everything at once when your orgasm is just near the corner, only a few more strokes and- the car stops. you jump alerted as you look out the window.
jungkook removes his hand rapidly, letting you zip your pants as he does the same with his and inches away from you. mere seconds away from him let you feel empty, unfulfilled.
"we've arrived." the driver dares to say shyly as he lowers the volume of the music.
jungkook mutters an awkward thanks as he hands him the money for the ride- way more than it could've ever cost to bring you home, but that should make up for what the driver witnessed on the way home.
you both get out quickly, and your friend is quick to come by your side and hold your waist, pulling you closer to his body, as you both start laughing.
he opens the door to his home and you enter, immediately feeling his touch as you step inside. jungkook pulls you up by the back of your thighs, and you hug his waist with your legs in your time. his palms hold you in place by your ass, stroking it sinfully as he latches his lips onto yours once again, carrying you through his empty rooms until you reach his bedroom. where he places you gently on the mattress.
he sits at the corner of the bed, removing his shirt with a single move as he looks down at you. his body is slightly illuminated by the moon shining outside his big windows and you do nothing but glare at his toned abs as you struggle to remove your shirt as well. he giggles at your clumsy attempt to do so and quickly comes to your aid, pulling it from your body. he unbuckles his belt, stepping out of his pants as his body is left only adorning his boxers. you admire him once more, taking more than a few seconds to look at his thick thighs and the half erection he has while he stands looking at you in his full naked glory. fuck, he's so hot.
the next article of clothing tossed away is your own pants, which he so masterfully gets you out of as he kneels on the ground, between your legs which he now spreads. you support your weight on your elbows as you look into his eyes, not able to mutter even a single word as he pulls your panties down with a swift movement. he pulls you closer to him, starting to place wet kisses on your thighs as he gets closer and closer to your core.
"you're so wet," he says as he slides a finger down your folds, parting them while he gathers all your wetness on his digit. "seems like you've been wanting to do this just as long as i have." he growls lowly just before latching his lips to your clit, stroking it with his tongue.
you're too busy being overwhelmed with pleasure to analyze his words for more than a second, your mind goes entirely blank as all you can focus on are the movements of his muscle. he sucks it gently, licking his way down your hole, and then back to your sensitive bud again sucking it more forcefully every time.
two fingers slide in easily, massaging your velvety walls as they make your core throb, tightening around his slender digits as you feel the pressure to let go in your whole body. he curls them inside you, brushing them against a sensitive spot you believe no one has reached ever before. his mouth shows you no mercy, he uses it to lick, and kiss, and even nibble on your clit, making your whole body spasm under his touch.
"cum for me, baby," jungkook murmurs, fastening the pace that his fingers drive into you effortlessly. "i wanna lick it all up." he adds, and his wicked words aid you in coming closer to your release. like a desperate slut, you grab his hair in a fist, while moaning awfully loud as you feel your whole body tremble. just like that, stars explode in your whole body, the electrical feeling making you feel like you're ascending to heaven as your walls pulsate around his masterful fingers. you've never had such a godly orgasm.
a man of his word, he indeed licks all of your sweet release, not letting even a drop go to waste. he rises slowly, bed shifting under his weight as he picks you up by your waist and plops you on the center of the bed. his chin is glistening, thanks to the mix of his saliva and the juices he squeezed out of you. taking your bra off, jungkook stops for a few seconds, admiring your naked body as his hands travel from your neck, to circling your nipples and then back to your thighs as he pulls you closer to his form.
"you're so fucking beautiful," he says as he smashes his lips into yours, kissing you with the same hunger that he used just a few moments earlier to devour you. his compliment make your insides twirl, heart beating faster than ever before as you swirl your tongue around his, tasting yourself on it.
your hands scratch his wide back slowly as they travel south, moving downwards just until they meet his fully erected cock. you slide them inside his boxer, finally stroking his veiny shaft. jungkook groans into your mouth, and you take pride in the fact that he acknowledges your touch and deems it pleasurable. his hips start moving as they create friction between your soft hands and his twitching member. fuck, he wants this just as bad as you do.
not being able to resist your touch any longer, jungkook gets rid of his boxers immediately, throwing them somewhere on the floor before he reaches for the drawer of his nightstand. he opens the red foiled package and slides the condom on his cock skillfully. he positions himself between your legs as he gives himself a few starting pumps.
"is this ok?" he asks all of a sudden as he stops abruptly.
"you think i'm going to stop this when you're about to fuck me?" you ask back, amused of the situation and the abrupt change in his attitude.
he chuckles, as he teases your entrance with his tip, leaning over you and taking one of your nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before biting softly into it. it makes you shiver, moaning his name filled with pleasure and a burning desire to feel him take over you completely.
"do you want me to fuck you?" he asks, voice laced with sin as he looks up to you, focusing his attention to the other nipple.
"fuck- yes!" you moan as a reply just when he lets out your nipple with a loud pop.
"how?" he interrogates further, using kisses to climb up your chest.
no one has ever asked you this before, all the men you encountered in bed until now were always selfishly chasing after their own pleasure, so they never asked what were yours.
"rough," you manage to blurt out as you feel him up again, touching his biceps and feeling muscles contract due to him supporting his weight above you. "hard...i want you to ruin me," you say before his head shoots out in surprise and he looks at you, his expression morphing quickly into a satisfied one before he kisses your jaw softly.
"never took you for someone who would enjoy that," he whispers close to you as he pushes up, aligning himself once more with your entrance.
he thought about it before?
"just tell me to stop if it becomes too much," he says just before his hands hug your waist and turn you around, your face buried instantly into the pillows as he positions your ass up.
he pushes in slowly at first, letting you grow familiar with his cock as your breath hitches from the amazing stretch. he goes in and out lazily, brushing his palms over your ass cheeks as he does so. you're already out of breath when he starts bucking his hips faster into you, setting an incredible pace that makes you hold his sheets tighter in your fists. his cock slides against your walls smoothly, hitting the newly discovered sensitive spot over and over again.
there's not much room for talking, the room is filled with moans from both of you and pleads of each other's names- they sound just like desperate prayers. he grows impatient, violently smashing his hips against your ass just like you asked, making you feel close to cumming again with each and every drive inside of you. your body burns, jungkook's body does too, making beads of sweat fall down on his white and clean sheets like a reminder to both of you of what has happened when all of this will end. you don't want it to end.
but contrary to your wishes, the man's hand finds your sensitive clit for the third time tonight, urging you to release a high-pitched moan as he starts rubbing again, faster, rougher than before. it takes a few moments before you come again under his touch, and when you do, it downs you both, his own hot seed filling up the condom as he tries to regain his breath, collapsing over your drained body. you both crumble like sand, melting into each other like you are one single being.
you feel him soften inside of you just before he pulls out, leaving your hole feeling lonely and empty as you finally drop your ass into the mattress, sinking your body into it as you roll around, managing to see him.
he's removing his condom, tying it before he throws it on the ground. "gross!" you'd think in other circumstances, but not now. he lays back into the bed, next to you, as he looks at your body like a hunter looking at a beast he managed to finally tame. sparkles are dancing in his eyes when he finally looks into yours, cupping your cheek lovingly before kissing you. he pulls you closer, but doesn't say anything, so you don't either. you nestle comfortably into his side as he hugs you warmly, the surfaces of your bodies sticking together because of the sweat.
he strokes your hair gently and you let yourself be taken to sleep in his hold as you inhale his perfume again, this time filled with the pure smell of his sweat filled with pheromones.
morning comes like a punch in the face. your head hurts because of the alcohol, and your body feels sore because of the sex. jungkook still sleeps, a few inches away from you as his chest rises slowly with each breath he takes. he looks so different, so peaceful from his usual self that is on the stage, singing his heart out onto the mic while all the lights shine on him. now, the only light shining on him is the one of the morning sun, stroking his features gently.
you get up slowly, searching for your panties quietly and putting them on.
"are trying to sneak out?" you hear his raspy voice. your attention goes to him again, laid out on the bed as he stretches, legs fully spread out and his body only masked by a piece of the blanket that covers his manhood.
"not really," you smile, as you put your shirt on lazily. "i was cold."
you get back on the bed, wrapping your own body, as well as jungkook's with the blanket. you scoot closer to him, and he instinctively hugs you like it's all he's done his entire life. minutes of silence pass before he says something again.
"would it be weird to ask you on a date now?" he chuckles.
you do too, placing your head on his chest in order to hear his heartbeats. louder than you could ever imagine jeon jungkook's heart could beat for you.
"you ask all the girls to dates after you fuck them?" you ask amused, thinking about just how many women have been in the exact same place you are right now. how many of them got to experience the magical touch of your friend?
"not really," jungkook says as he hooks his finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him in hopes that you would be able to read the honesty in his eyes. "just you." he whispers as he kisses your forehead gently.
"careful, kook, if somebody hears you they might think you like me," you say with a grin on your face as you push your weight into your elbow.
"and they might be right." he replies, same cute smile on his face as he brushes your hair out of you eyes and tucks it behind your ear.
the same gesture offered by kai last night, only it does not make you feel the same way. last night it made you intimidated, maybe even fearful of what may come next, but now it feels loving, and calming, putting your heart at ease as it does with the rest of your body.
"i do like you." he states clearly, staring into your eyes and waiting for your reaction. he doesn't know where it's coming from, but he's sure he can't ignore the way his heart] gallops faster around you anymore, nor can he forget the jealousy he felt last night. you belong with him, not some random guy at the bar. not anyone else, for that matter.
it's such a cliche, you think as you remain petrified upon hearing his confession. you lived in fear of confessing only to realize that you lost years and years wondering what could be instead of what can be.
better late than never, right?
"i like you too." you say back, kissing him after what feels like an eternity.
pairing: fem! reader x choi san (ft kim hongjoong)
genre: angst, friends to lovers, smut
general warnings: depictions of a depressive state, mourning of partner, self-blame and slight ptsd
sexual warnings: dirty talk, pet names, manual stimulation, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie,
word count: 12.6k
summary: they say moving on is hard. you find that it's even harder when in the process of it, you have to accept your feelings for your friend as well.
less important a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like 5k long 🙃🙃...chile, anyways. uhm, this came from me bottling my emotions up for the last 5 months and I just wanted to let some of my suffering out in some kind of way. even if it is far from what I feel (I feel the need to specify that the events related below aren't inspired from my life, happily so). read at your own discretion, for I have tried my best to make you feel horny and miserable at the same time 🥰🥰🥰 stay safe xoxo
a/n from long later: hi i wrote this about a year ago and i found it in my drafts and hey why wouldn't i post it after not posting something in ages? haha. enjoy! altough it's probably rlly bad and full of mistakes hihi, i ain't reading this again to correct it. i love you muah
The cold air felt like needles poking at your bare skin. You ran as fast as you could, barefoot in the woods, feeling every little scratch that was tearing open the skin of your soles and staining it with fresh blood. Your lungs were holding hostage a fire as you were inhaling the cold night air, and the sweat you felt dribbling down your face and back was only of help to make you feel even colder. You looked behind, once, twice, and then a third time too, slowly reducing your pace until it came to a halt.
"What am I running away from?" you ask yourself looking around. There was nothing, no one after you. So why were you running for your life? Your heart starts to beat faster as you hear screams coming from deep within the trees. But you don't run. You can't run anymore. You just fall to the ground, embracing your knees to your chest.
"Me!"
You don't turn around. That voice is way too familiar to make you turn around. Your mouth hangs open as you try to scream but no sound comes out as your muffled moans remain drowned in the deepest point if your throat.
You gasp for air as you wake up shaking your head relentlessly, in order to try to snap yourself back to the reality you're in- so your heart would stop beating so damn fast. You groan as you look over at the watch on your nightstand and see it spell 3:37 AM. You grab your phone from next to it and shut your eyes closed at the sudden brightness the screen displays. You manage to decrease it and open your contacts.
"Still awake?" you ask, and you know you shouldn't. He always offers you more than you can give back, more than you deserve. But you can't help yourself. You cannot deny yourself the little peace you still have in your life.
"Yeah, wassup?"
"Can you call?" you hit send and it's a matter of seconds between him receiving the message, him reading the message and then his name popping up on your screen. You answer.
"Again?" San questions from the other end of the phone. You only hum in affirmation. He sighs softly as you lay down on your side, phone trapped between your ear and the pillow. You hear the clicking of the keyboard and mouse clearly, he must be working late again. And yet he always answers. More than many people you've met did for you.
"Tell me a story." you ask once again. For the...well you've lost count.
"You know, one day I'm going to be out of stories," he answers and lets out a chuckle. Bathing in your silence, he takes his time to think about what he could tell you. As he begins, you close your eyes and imagine whatever he is helping you picture inside your head. Be it the times when he was a little kid and used to walk with his grandparents down the side of a river, or the times he was a teen and was always struggling to get out of trouble, San always gave you a vast amount of details that made you worship his each and every story. And they always made you dream something pretty when you dozed out of consciousness with him still talking on the other end. This night was no exception, so when you wake up, you send him a text that expresses your gratitude as always.
"Listen, if you still want a contract renewal you need to publish something within next year," you look at your boss and feel every word he lays out weighing your body down like you're going to fall through the floor. "I get writer's block, I really do. And we gave you time. You took your time. But it's been almost two years now..." his words stop reaching your ears as you're reminded. One year, ten months and twelve days. And still counting. The count will never stop, you realize, as the event it started from cannot be reversed. You will always be stuck in a period of time since it happened.
"You're one of the biggest names here in our publishing house, Y/N. We don't want to lose you but at the same time we can't keep focusing on you if it will be to no avail." he is right. He is always right, your boss. Always had a strategic mindset, and that always helped both of you. Except now. Now he was asking for something you couldn't offer.
"I'm sorry," you manage to blurt out. "I'm trying my best and I know it's not enough." if you had to be honest, hearing yourself say those words out loud made your heart break even more that it already was. Partly because it was true, and the rest? Because it sounded like you were asking for compassion, which you thought was pathetic. You never liked people looking at you the way you caught yourself looking at homeless individuals.
"I'm gonna get something out, ok? I promise you, just please have a little more faith in me. I need you to trust me to be able to do this."
You look up and make eye contact with him. Park Seonghwa was never one who showed compassion. But as his gaze traced over your fingers picking at your cuticles, the dryness of your lips and the shadows of your hollowed eyes, you felt something you grew too accustomed with in the last almost two years of your life.
Pity.
"Come on, let me take you out on Thursday." San pleaded as he was following in your steps down the hallway of the company you worked in. You didn't expect your little trip to talk to your boss would end with this. "You literally have nothing to lose." He completed and you stopped, facing him. You met his familiar and comforting eyes, which always reminded you of a cute fox, and his dimpled smile as he watched you keenly. It has been almost four years since he started working at the same company you did, but since the beginning, you two were more than just work colleagues. It was the type of connection where you would understand each other from simple looks into the other's eyes or where you could easily finish each other's sentences. You liked to consider him your platonic soulmate but you knew that if you hadn't had a relationship at the time you two met, you would've have surely gone out together and maybe made a good couple.
Well...now you didn't have a relationship anymore but you weren't exactly in the right headspace for one.
By now, you and all the rest of your workmates knew how big of a crush he had on you, but you never let it get out of control. You were feeling kind of guilty, to be honest. Knowing that in a way, you were using it to your advantage for your sleepless nights or the ones in which sleep was ruined by nightmares. But you were sure he was getting his benefits from it as well.
"Look, I want to but I really don't wanna be a bitch to you if I suddenly feel like shit." you reply, and in all honestly, it was true. Your mood hasn't been so stable lately, understandably so.
"Well, how about this: if you wake up in a good mood on Thursday and decide it's okay to hang out, you text me, and we do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if we do go out and do something together and you end up feeling like shit then you'll tell me and I'll get you home in the fastest way possible for a human being. How does it sound?"
Not bad. He is giving you every little piece of comfort that you knew you needed but you never asked for. So you agree. It wouldn't be the first time you hang out with San, sure, you never called them dates, because to you they were not. But you knew that for any outsider it looked exactly like that. And who is to blame? You two always worked hand in hand just so well. These no-pressure type of meet-ups you two had always made you feel comfortable so that was why you were considering it this time as well.
Days pass and you spend them stuck in your home, drowning in your bitter memories and your regrets. The taste of guilt never becomes sweet, you think. Not like how alcohol does when you drink more and more of the same kind. No. Guilt only grows in bitterness and in how it burns down your throat, feeling like it swirls all of your insides once it reaches your stomach. In a way, guilt feels like the long estranged sister of love. Both let their essence hover in your mind for however long they like.
As you rise from your bed to make some hot coffee you think of what day it is. Between the mix of reliving the moments long gone in the same apartment you still stand, and the countless intents to come up with something that you could present to your boss, you didn't know which one made you lose track of time more. You checked your phone for a bit of clarity. No new messages or notifications. At this point, everyone knew better than to bother you with their worries.
Thursday.
Well, seems like you had to cancel out on someone, you thought as you tried grabbing the coffee pot on the stove, but lost in your thoughts, you pay no attention to the handle and drop the pot on the kitchen tiled floor as soon as you feel the skin on your palm burn. You swore and quickly took a few steps back so the burning coffee on the ground wouldn't get to your bare feet. You shook your hand trying to get a cold breeze to the inflamed skin but it only made it feel worse. As you stopped to look at the damage you realized it wasn't all that bad, but it sure stung like a motherfucker. You ran your hand under the cold water of the sink and looked to your right. The brown liquid on the ground was expanding, getting in every little crevice in between the tiles.
****
Coffee was getting everywhere. It splashed on the kitchen counters, it was slowly getting under them too. You froze for a few seconds after your mug made contact with the floor, shattering to dozens of pieces.
"Well, that can't be a good sign." your lover said from behind you finishing with a low chuckle. You smiled, turning on your heels and taking in his form. You woke him up, well, the mug woke him up actually. Approaching you slowly, with a slight limp in his walk and his shoulders dropped all the way down, his hair was fluffed up and his skin a nice shade of pale with a few lines from the pillow on his left cheek. He always looked so angelic, you never could put it into words, how it made you feel, seeing him first thing in the morning. It was something that made your insides crazily stir up but made gave you a sense of tranquility, at the same time. That was how loving him usually was. Two opposite sides walking hand in hand. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him, softly pressing his lips against the crown of your head. You joined your hands behind his torso and inhaled deeply. Your heart skipped a beat as your lungs felt intoxicated with his smell.
"Today is the big day, huh?" his voice was still hoarse as he spoke, every word of his drumming in your ears. You nodded.
"I'm really nervous." you answered and let your forehead drop against his shoulder. He hugged you tighter with the hand around your waist and gently pat your head with the other.
"I know, angel. But it's gonna be alright, ok? Your friends will be there, your parents will be there and I will be there. You can lean on me." he said kissing your cheek. "You know that, don't you?" his face right in front of yours, you responded with nothing more than a slow kiss. A kiss that was rehearsed so many times before that your lips and tongues already knew what they had to do, how they had to move around each other. Sometimes it felt like a dream, how everything came so easy with Hongjoong. How you didn't have to think twice about what you wanted from him and with him. And for all you knew, and all he had shown you across the time spent together, he didn't do that either. Every morning next to him felt like the luckiest one, and every night with him ended just the same. And you knew that if you were to live a hundred more years alongside him, you still wouldn't get enough of his embraces, or kisses or just simply him. There was nothing in the world that could cure the insatiable love you felt for the man in front of you.
As he pulled away from the kiss he gestured with his head behind you. "Now how about I clean the mess you made, and you make coffee for both of us? We have a book launch to attend, after all." you laughed and kissed him again.
*****
As your breath got heavier and your eyes started to burn up you unconsciously took your phone from the kitchen counter.
"a picnic would be perfect" you text your friend. The desire to get out of the prison your house has become, growing bigger by the second.
"Tell me if this isn't an appropriate question," you heard the man next to you say, derailing your train of thought as you directed your attention towards him. The weather is hot today, it really was a good call, suggesting a picnic. You haven't been on one in a long while and you missed feeling of how the calm of the nature overwhelmed most of your senses. Also, you couldn't handle a complicated social situation on this day. So it was perfect right now, laying on a blanket, stranded in a flower freckled field with none other than San. You turn your head towards him. " What made you want to go out today?" he completed, not looking at you. He was laying on his back, with one arm under his head and his eyes closed, as if he feared the reaction you were going to have to his words. You didn't blame him for asking. In a similar situation where the roles would be reversed, you knew for sure you would ask too. After all, you and San were made of many of the same things. " Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you agreed, but it didn't seem like you would." he adds.
"Some days my house feels like a torture chamber." you say turning on your side and facing him, supporting your head on your angled arm. He was so still, you could barely even notice the way he slowly breathed in and out. It was as if the sun was painting his portrait and he was afraid to move, to not mess it up. Every ray that was falling on his exposed skin seemed to caress him the way a lover does.
"And some days it does its job." you completed after returning on your position on your back, mimicking his. "Today just didn't felt like one of the days I'd like to be tortured." you finished and felt his gaze on you right before you closed your eyes. If you thought he seemed worried, you made sure not to address it.
"One time when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine," you smiled, realizing this is just the beginning of one of his captivating stories. "I don't remember how we got to that point, but he left me in a room and said he was gonna lock me there, and so he got out and he did." a bit darker than what he usually tells you, but still intriguing.
"At first I thought it was fun, that we would take turns locking each other in the room but he wasn't coming back. The room had only one window but it was locked when I tried to open it and get out. So I just waited. I think hours passed, it was getting dark and I was getting worried and hungry, thought I'll be stuck there forever, until it crossed my mind. I never even tried to open the door. Turns out it didn't even have a keyhole."
"San, if you're trying to put me to sleep with this one, just know it doesn't really work." you say smirking, still holding your eyes closed as you let the sun bathe your face.
"I'm not, Y/N. I'm trying to tell you that most of the times, the doors aren't locked. We just think that they are." he responds and you open your eyes to look into his. His look is full of compassion, and a bit of sadness that you choose to overlook. You finally understand what he means to tell you and you realize he is right. But even if a door isn't locked, you shouldn't open it unless you're ready to do so. You gently touch the back of his hand, and he is quick to caress your fingers with his thumb, changing his focus to where your hands are joined.
"Thank you," your words came out more like a whisper than you would've liked. "I know I don't do much for you...but I'm hoping I'm not that much of a nuisance, like I feel I am." he turns his hand, joining his fingers with yours and making eye contact with you. The simple gesture of affection made your head dizzy in a way you haven't felt in a long time. Your heart creaks up a little.
"You couldn't be one even if you tried," he said, his gaze lazily tracing the outlines of your face. You were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, even now. Even after all the hardships you've been through, and that you're still going through. The adoration his heart held for you never stopped burning, no matter how much he wished for it to do so. For San, loving you was as easy as it sounded and as hard as it could get. Setting his eyes on the bags under your eyes he recalled a memory that stood like a scar on his brain. Your eyes were so dark that day, your eye bags a shade of purple he hadn't seen on any painting quite yet. Your lips were pale and chapped and your skin looked like it lost all its pigment.
Black didn't suit you so well, he thought. Not when it was worn the way you were wearing it then.
But the worst came when it was time to say goodbye. He still remembered your cries and wails and it made the skin on his spine tremble in its place. Could he ever forget how, on that day, you looked like the angel of death?
Now you looked better...like life was coming, little by little, back into your body, and the pure sunlight was definitely helping it. He should let the sun see you more often, he thought.
You pulled your hand from his when you felt like his eyes were analyzing your features for a bit too long. Rising in a standing position, you started examine the insides of the basket he prepared.
"Oh my God! You brought me watermelon!" you shouted loudly as you took the container holding the red pieces of fruit in it. The only thing San could do at your reaction was laugh, throwing his head back to look at the puffed up white clouds.
Four days since you brushed your teeth, three since you showered, two since you changed your clothes, one since you ate, and one year, eleven months and fourteen days since you've last held the love of your life in your arms. But, hey, who's keeping count anyways?
Time loses all its meaning when you confine yourself like you are some dangerous animal meant to be locked up in a cage. Between the moments you try to stay awake and the ones you try to sleep, you have little to remember. The only thing that gives a little light to the fog in your brain is San. His stories in the middle of the night, conversations you happen to have during the day and occasional meetings that you're always the one to initiate. He always makes you feel good, always picks the right words to say and you don't know how he has the patience for such things. You love and hate him for it. You love him for being such a considerate and kind person, and you hate him for making you forget. It's strange when you get home and reality dumps on you at the front door. The reality you actually live in and not one you indulged yourself to have with San for a few hours. It's just...with him everything is colorful and melodic but when you get home the only thing you hear are your sighs echoing off the walls back into your ears. You wished you could be stuck in the feeling you have around him forever, but at the same time, every time you have that feeling you feel guilty for it. Like it's impossible to allow yourself any sort of break.
The last days have been impossible to get through. All you did was look around at the mess that was around you. A mountain of clothes, waiting to be washed for weeks now, a sink full of dishes and mugs, lots of crumpled sheets on the ground ( proof of all your tries to put something together). Everything was a disaster, inside and out. You had no willpower to do anything about it but you knew that the more you would stay in a shitty space, the more you would feel like shit. So for the first time in months, you opened the window.
*****
He placed the two mugs on the windowsill as he opened the window, allowing the cold breeze of the morning to brush over the exposed skin. He watched you closely as you made sure to turn off the stove and place the coffee pot in the sink. Your eyes met his as you felt the cold air run down your back, giving you shivers. He smiled contentedly at the sight of your body slowly shuddering. The "window" habit was a thing Hongjoong let into the relationship since the beginning of it. It was crazy for you how sometimes you caught him doing it first thing after waking up. You loved to watch him open the window and inhale the morning air with his elbows pressed against the wooden frame. Those moments wouldn't last long, but you treasured them more than he maybe thought about it. There was a thing about this domestic life, and seeing him do his own rituals that had you turn into quite the observer.
"You love to make me cold, don't you?" you smile brightly getting closer and closer, until you reach the space right in front of him.
"Angel, you're so hot in the morning that I'm afraid you might overheat. I need to cool you down a little, don't I?" he says on his usual cheeky tone, the one you grew to love in such little time. As he places his hand on your hip, you take a sip of your coffee. Like your actions served as a reminder of the hot liquid resting in his mug, he does the same.
"I can think of some other ways you could cool me down..." you say as you hook your finger on the front waistband of his pajama pants, sliding it from left to right. He chuckles in his mug and pulls you closer. Your chests rise in unison as you look each other in the eye, you don't say anything but this moment feels like a promise neither of you wants to break.
He looks to his left, at the city and at the people. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you place a few slow kisses on his jaw.
"I want us to find a new place," he says scooping you up as you squeal in surprise. You hook your legs behind his waist instantly while he walks towards the bedroom. "I want a balcony." He completes before kissing you and you laugh into the kiss, thinking of the many ways you two could make use of said balcony. He sure was thinking the same thing you did, giving how he started laughing as well.
His laugh was the only thing you ever wanted to hear again.
*****
You look down at the windowsill and see the brown marks in the body of two circles imprinted on the wooden surface. You always told him to use the damn coasters. Now the wood was stained. Permanently stained. Permanently ruined. Just like you were.
As you get on with cleaning you try to keep your brain busy with thoughts like what you should do after you finish a task, and what you should do after that one is finished as well. You thank yourself for choosing to clean, as you get out of the shower and throw yourself into the bed. Not only does it now smell like flowers, but you're also tired enough for sleep to steal you the minute you close your eyes.
"Ha! Check mate!" San exclaimed from the other side of the table you both were sat at. This was an odd activity that you had never done before. Playing chess, in a park, fully exposed to the summer sun. And you weren't even middle aged. Crazy to see how far the desperation to get out of the house will make someone go. But if it was with San, you were sure that there weren't many place where you wouldn't go.
"Your mind seems to be elsewhere," he said, angling his head innocently like the little puppies do when you tell them not to lick the outlet. His black hair was swooped out of his face, making his cheekbones pop out in a way you didn't think it was more humanly possible.
"Oh, you know damn well I suck at chess, San." you said kicking his queen with your finger. It became clear to him that you were an unfit partner for this game after like, the half of the first match. As the piece made contact with the chessboard, San tittered, making his eyes turn into crescents and his dimples scar his cheeks again.
"You just don't want to learn," he said as he started picking the pawns. You gave him a hand, collecting all the pieces on your side.
"You play the pawns when you still have the queen..." he offered a dramatic sigh as he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. True, it was more comfortable to lose with the pawns than with the queen.
"How's the book going?" placing the game of chess in his backpack, he made eye contact with you as he pressed his elbows against the surface in between. You sigh.
"It's not," you admit thinking about all the documents you've erased the last month or every manuscript you tossed in the trash. Nothing was coming together and you hated every word after writing it. Not only was this process driving you mad but it also made you doubt all your abilities as a writer. People would expect more from someone who had a bestseller out there, you thought. But it wasn't your job to rise to anyone's expectation.
"Maybe I was just a one hit wonder." you say smiling sadly. It really did pain you to think that you weren't able to do the sole thing you ever thought yourself good at. But maybe, after you lived in a thousand realities in the past two years (as of today, maybe the reason why you wanted to get out of your home so bad), this was your new one. A reality in which you weren't able to write anymore. Fear was not even close to describe how you felt about the future.
"Don't kid yourself, I know you'll make it eventually." San offers, grabbing your hand in his. "You know, you should be the last person who is hard on yourself." he rubs your hand with his thumb. You wish you could pull away from his touch, or to at least want to pull away. But you don't. His touch is comforting and not a lot of things in your life are that way right now. As you look at him there is a sudden desire to punch yourself in the face, for the only thing that comes through your mind is to thank him again. As you did countless of times before. He did say he grew tired of it.
"You know what I'm in the mood for?" you avoid the subject successfully as he rises his eyebrows, showering you in all his undivided attention. "Drinking my sorrows at a shitty bar." you finish off, painting a big smile on your face. He mirrors it as he sighs through his teeth, letting go of your hand. He notices your intention to avoid talking about anything serious. Anything that might actually help you. You always do it, that is exactly why you talk to him only about nonsense and why, when you call him in the middle of the night (and when he always, always answers) you make him tell you a story. Leaving him to be the only one to talk as you doze off. Never leaving room for him to ask you what is wrong or what you dreamed of. Is how you got on until then, and maybe that is why it went so slowly, the whole "moving on" thing everyone was telling you about. But it was the thing that worked best for you, you figured. Not talking about the elephant in the room got you this far, you can go a little more like that.
"Well, I happen to know the perfect place for that," rising from his seat, he extends his hand towards you. "Shall we?"
You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the bar lights or simply just him. Honestly, you couldn't tell the difference between many things anymore, but as you looked at San talking, you felt more attracted to him than ever. The mole near his eyelid seemed more prominent now, and so did his muscular arms under the fitted shirt he wore, and oh, the freckles painting constellations on his neck. His eyes were sparkling brightly and his teeth were showing from time to time. You looked closely as he licked his lips after taking a sip of his beer. The way he was doing it seemed almost erotic. That one part of your brain that would feel bad for having these thoughts has died when you drank your fourth shot, but you were glad it did. You felt more comfortable now, and with San here, there was not a lot more that you would wish for. Not realistic wishes anyway.
"I need to know which side you stand on," he says angling his body towards yours. "Socks on or off during sleep?" San asks with a serious face, as if he asked if you enjoyed kicking puppies in the face or eating toddlers for dinner. You burst out laughing at the mix of the question and his expression.
"Off, I'm not a psychopath." you answer through your stilled laugh. He frowns.
"Oh no, you're definitely a psycho. Do your feet not get cold?" a bit of frustration could be heard in his voice.
"How would I know? I'm asleep the whole time." you sip from your drink. "Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza as well..." you plead looking at him.
"And what if I do? It's a good combination! It's like mint chocolate, de-li-cious." San smiles proudly at his outrageous statements. Maybe he is not the person you thought he was. God, he told you so much and yet you still knew so little. That was one of the most intriguing things about him. That you felt like a lifetime wouldn't ever be enough for you to get to know him completely. Like everyday he would pick another thing to like, or something utterly new to do so he doesn't get bored. He always told you how he gets bored of things and people so fast. And yet there he was, still by your side. Maybe you were the mystery he didn't get to solve yet.
"Dude, not toothpaste too.." you cry out as you push his arm, but instead of pushing him, you push yourself. You almost lose your balance off the bar stool, but San's quick reflexes kick in and grab you by the arm, pulling you back in sitting position. He cackles as you try to maintain your balance.
"Maybe we should get you home." he says laying some bills on the bar. You hum in approval and get to your feet as you follow him out of the bar, which was indeed shitty. San is a man of his word.
The walk home was short and calm as you focused more on seeming sober than to what was happening around you. It already got dark as you two strolled past the abandoned streets laughing about things you unwillingly forgot as soon as you finished laughing. This moment, you thought to yourself, is the one that you would remember when a certain song plays. One that will give you the same sensations you feel in this moment. And far away from right now, when you know you will be better, when you listen to that certain song, you'll think wow, so much has changed. That moment could happen 10 days from now, or ten years. You don't know yet. But something about this uncertainty makes you relax somehow, knowing that you still have hope. And most of it is thanks to San. He may not be aware of all the things that he is helping you with, but you are. It's like a mental list that you never stop writing on. Could you ever repay him for any of it?
"Here we are," he says as he places his hand on your shoulder and you take a hold of his arm as he rattles on about not drinking anymore and going to sleep and whatever else he decided to nag you about. Your focus is only on his lips, and then his eyes, and his lips again, and his hand on your arm, and then feeling his arm flexing underneath your touch, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. You realize you don't want this night to end quite yet.
"Do you wanna come in?" you interrupt, and observe his quick reaction of rapidly shutting his mouth and widening his eyes.
"I could use a live storytelling session right now." you add.
What where you asking for exactly? As you looked at him hesitate for a bit, you weren't sure that you knew either. But after a few seconds of looking around, he hums in approval as he nods and follows you inside your home. It's not as clean as you would wish but not as messy as to apologize for anything. You both take off your shoes and walk into the open space living room. Feeling San's presence close behind you, you turn and signal for him to sit down on the couch as you go to a little counter.
"I have vodka, whiskey and some cherry liquor," you turn your head back towards him. He was sitting on your couch now. But not how someone who entered their friend's apartment for the first time would be expected to sit, no. Because he didn't have that posture of "oh, I don't want to make myself comfortable because my presence here is out of place". No. He looked like he fucking owned the place. Like he payed the bills. Like he chose every single piece of decoration there was inside your home. And you weren't mad about it, if you were being honest. The everlasting confidence that was emanating out his every pore always looked good on him. His legs were spread apart, and you didn't forbid yourself to spend more than a few seconds scanning his thighs, thinking of numerous ways you could make use of them. Prominent Adam's apple marked his throat as his head was thrown back over the backrest. It seemed that he moved in slow motion, lazily pulling his head up and in your direction.
"Glass of whiskey would be nice." he answered through a half pout as his hands splayed even more on the higher edge of the couch. Obeying his orders, you unconsciously let his choice be the one you make as well, so you pour the liquid in two glasses. The strong scent hits you immediately, and you know you won't be able to drink it, the alcohol in your system will reject this on the spot if you dared adventure too far. But you decided back when you invited your friend into your house, tonight was the night you were going to test your limits.
You sit yourself on the couch, next to the man you hide your desire for not so well, closer than you usually would. And he seems to observe regarding the fact that he appears to be leaning a bit into you. Maybe it's in your head. He sips from the glass you hand him, licking his lips again, the gesture he did at the bar seems to be hitting you in a certain, already wet, spot in between your legs as it did a little time ago. He hums right after swallowing the drink, you follow with interest the way his Adam's apple moves up and down. Why is he being so unworldly attractive tonight? Is it really the alcohol or has the sexual tension finally built up enough for you to not be able to take it anymore. You feel an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, ache in your heart and stomach and definitely in your pussy. He places the glass down, with careful fingers, on the table before you and resumes his previous stance, except now one of his hands chooses to rest on the thigh closer to you. You admire it from respectable distance, one which you weren't sure you'd be able to maintain for too long. His hands were clean, nails kept short on his slender long fingers, and the rings adorning them only completed the way his veins were traveling down the back of his palm. Will there ever be a time where you could look at Choi San and not like what you see? Highly doubtful.
"That's some good shit," finally his face catches your attention, and happily so. He looks at you through his lashes, smirking with one corner of his beautiful mouth. You wondered how his lips might feel. On yours, on your neck, your chest, everywhere. "never took you for a whiskey person."
"I'm not," you say through a bittersweet smile and you realize that maybe you really, desperately need the alcohol right now, so you chug some of it down. "it's been laying around." you finish the sentence and then the glass of whiskey and you place it down the table, next to his. The contrast of the glasses, one empty and one half full, makes you amused in some kind of way. It let's you reminiscence of the many times that you heard from a certain someone, how you were always rushed in the most unfit situations. It was true.
As you look back to San, you feel like you are left with no choice than laying on your back and placing your head on his lap. So you do, maybe slower than you feel you move in your drunk-dazed mind. As you nuzzle the back of your head into his thighs, you close your eyes, for your vision was getting blurry and the room slowly spun around.
"You can begin anytime." you sigh out and feel him shifting a bit underneath you. He chuckles lowly and it takes him a few moments to adjust to the situation presented before him, it would be strange to you too. These were exactly the kind of things that you hesitated to do with San, because you partly knew his feelings for you, so you didn't want to give too much water to the well. Exactly the kind of intimacy that would leave room to hope for more, want more.
And not only from his side.
"I met this girl a while ago," he starts and softly places his hand on top of your head, massaging your scalp and slowly pulling at strands of your hair. "she's the whole package. Smart, funny, kind and so fucking hot." , safe to say you don't expect his last words to hit you like they do. A tad bit of jealousy makes its presence felt in the bottom of your heart, thinking that there might be a possibility that he doesn't refer to you. But the slow strokes his fingers offer your head make you feel too good to give it any importance.
"She's got this thing about her, I don't know how to even say it. It's like every time we talk, we knew each other since birth and like the first time we ever met, all at once. It's incredible, really." the way he talked was how you only heard people talk in movies. Hopeless romantic to the very end.
"Sounds like she's got you head over heels." you huff out slightly annoyed.
"Yeah, you'd be shocked," silence following his words, words that had a heartbroken nuance to them. He continues to massage your head and his touch feels so good, so comforting, so familiar. Like he did it every time he saw you, like he at least imagined doing it every time. "she really loves my stories." he adds after what seems to be like forever, and his hand stops, pulling itself out of your proximity. Your eyes shoot open and you find his gaze upon you. At the same time he looks sad, his eyes are also filled with anticipation, of what is to come, of how you would react to the fact that he just confirmed it was you he talked about. You sit up, trying not to let the slight dizziness in your head get the best of you and turn to him. Faces close to each other, studying him one last time before things change between you two. He wants it. And you clearly want it. Both of you so bad that it's not even a surprise how you meet halfway into a kiss. You thank the universe in your head, for it being this way. For you to not beat yourself up too much later that you initiated anything. So you let yourself sink into the feeling of him, his smell intoxicating. You know that it will be hard to not feel it in your lungs for a long time after this, and you were happy for it to be that way. Your lips are shy at first, not used to kissing anymore, not used to someone who hasn't kissed you before. But the feeling is more than pleasant. He takes his time, slowly nipping away at your bottom lip, swiftly pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your teeth clash and you both smile, licking into each other's mouths a bit more. His lips are soft and so warm, this feeling has long been forgotten by your mind. He pulls away and you gasp for air, he reaches to brush the hair out of your face and cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a glimmer you were sure you haven't seen on him before. But you knew exactly what it meant.
"I don't want it if you don't." he says, assuring you once again that his actions will only be made for your comfort.
"I can't even tell you how bad I want it." your voice soft as it answers, and after receiving your words with wonder on his face, San downs the whiskey left in his glass, only to rush kissing you right after he gulps it down. If the first kiss was both of you navigating uncharted waters, now you were both desiring more. Hungrily devouring each other, whiskey tasted so much better on his tongue. You climbed into his lap as he pulled you closer to his chest. Serving as a reminder, you needed to get that shirt off of him. And as you helped him get rid of it, you weren't even surprised of how he looked even better than what you kept picturing all night. He returned the favor of undressing you of your shirt, and briefly cupped your breasts through your bra as he pulled you into another kiss. His hands quickly running to your waist, pulling you deeper into his lap, feeling him get hard underneath you, moment by moment. One of his palms traveled down to massage your butt cheek through your jeans, and the other quickly moved up to unhook your bra deftly with steady fingers.
"You must be popular with the ladies." you whisper close to his mouth and he chuckles.
"Not with the ones I want." he replies and you jokingly slap his bicep in response. He pulls the bra off throwing it somewhere nearby and admires your chest for a second too long before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You throw your head back and whimper at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive part of your breasts. You tangle your fingers in his hair as you try to slowly ride his thigh, feeling the need to get rid of the tension in some kind of way. He let's your nipple out of his mouth with a lewd pop and laughs as he glues his hand to the back of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"Darling if you want something you just need to ask," he brings his mouth over to your chest, planting sprinkled kisses along your collarbones. "my thigh? my fingers? my cock?" he asks in between suctions on the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. You were so sexually frustrated that you thought you were going to cry, and his words definitely didn't help. If something, they only made the tightness in your belly feel even tighter. "Which one will it be?" he asks finally as his eyes find yours again. You barely manage a pathetic whimper as he let's go of your head to unbutton your jeans. His hand slides slowly until it meets the band of your panties, but it doesn't go further, his eyes stopping on your face.
"Fuck, San, I want everything." you finally verbalize for him, your words laced with desperation for him to take things further. He closes his eyes and smiles in satisfaction when hearing your words, resuming the attack on your neck, biting down some marks here and there. His fingers finally get a hold of your clit and you shudder at the sensation. The circular motions he starts only make you moan his name quietly, through whimpers. It's been so long since you touched yourself like that, let alone somebody else. Masturbation was a thing you couldn't get back into since everything happened. Every time you tried, your mind only pictured Hongjoong, and it always ended with you crying without releasing in any kind of way. That was how you spent the last two years of your life, no wonder you were sexually frustrated. But now, the only thing on your mind was San, and how you could get him to make you cum faster. The position wasn't really a favorable one, he didn't have much access and so, his movements were limited and slow. San sinks his hand further down, teasing your hole with his middle finger, coating it in your arousal.
"You're so wet baby," he slowly pushes his finger into you, wandering into your inside, and your tightness. It did definitely feel like rain after a long drought. He pumped his finger inside you a few times, adding an extra one after a few seconds, stretching you in a way that has become unfamiliar but satisfying all the same. He fastened his pace and you unconsciously started to ride his fingers, chasing after your long awaited release. It wouldn't last too much, taking in consideration that you haven't orgasmed in so long. Your left hand was on San's nape, anchoring you to some sort of reality that he was indeed there, and the other one was on his chest. It wasn't much longer until your body conjured the estranged feeling in your tummy, you were close. San seemed to read your thoughts once again as his movements came to a halt, you offered a frustrated whimper in return. He lifted you up of his lap and placed you on your back next to him. He helped you get rid of your jeans and then your panties.
"I know you want to cum, but I want you to do it in my mouth." his face in between your thighs, breath fanning over your aching core. This time he didn't wait for a verbal response anymore, and you were glad he didn't. His warm tongue licked a long swipe starting from your hole to your clit, his mouth latched to it with sensual movements, sucking and licking at it, taking all the time in the world.
"Ho...ly fu-fuck," you gasped as you threw your head back into the cushion of the couch, arching your back under his ministrations.
His tongue was skilled, and so were his fingers when they slid inside you for the second time tonight. He curled them up, hitting your g-spot every time he pumped them in. Your body shuddered hardly at the sensation.
"Feel good?" he asked looking up at you, for the first time since he positioned you like this, you looked down at him. And what a sight for sore eyes, so lewd that if you looked at it for long enough you would cum without him needing to do anything to you anymore.
"So good," you reply and place one of your hands into his raven hair when he continues abusing your sensitive bud in the best way you could think of, he continues his movements with his tongue and his fingers, and it's only a matter of seconds until it builds up. You pull at his hair as he deepens his head in between the thighs that are now clenched around his head and it finally all becomes too much for you.
"Fuck....San....ahh," you cry out whilst shutting your eyes tightly, thing that makes you see stars in the back of your head.
You feel proud for satisfying his wish. San seems too feel so as well. You come undone on his fingers, and he pulls them out quickly to attend your releasing wetness with his inpatient tongue, you feel as if you could pass out from the soft stimulation. Such a long time since you've had an orgasm and this might have been the best way to have one.
"Fuck, you taste so good," he says as he slowly rises and takes his place above you, letting you have a taste yourself as he kisses you, swirling his wet muscle in every corner of your mouth, making sure none of it is getting left untouched by him. You sure do taste better on his tongue. Feeling his hard dick press on the inside of your thigh, in all its dizziness, your brain only wants more.
"Can we go to the bedroom?" you ask nicely, only to be met once more with San's surprised face. Like the thought that you still might want more never crossed his mind. He helps you up by the waist and lets you guide the way to the room. As you enter the it you quickly run to the bed, throwing yourself on it as you giggle like you're high, and you might as well be. High hormones had the same effect as weed for you. San only shakes his head with a smile on his face, while looking down and getting his belt off. Shit, this is really happening. Really finally happening. He slowly approaches the bed, ridding himself of his pants as he reaches the edge of it. Your friend pulls down his boxers as well, and you watch closely as his erect member is finally out of its entrapment, it springs up vividly, slapping against his torso. You're left in surprise at the sight of his girthy, definitely above average long, cock. You bite your lip involuntarily and he laughs to your reaction.
"You don't need to," you quickly blurt out as soon as you see him pulling a condom from his wallet. "I mean...I'm clean, if so are you then..." well it's safe to say you've became quite a desperate little thing during your two, deprived of sex, years. "then, we don't need to worry." you finish your sentence.
"You sure?" he asks for confirmation once again.
"Yeah, 'm sure." you respond and beckon him with your index finger. He muffles out a swear word you don't quite register as he drops the condom from his hold, quickly climbing on the bed. He crafts a better position above you, kissing you gently as he lines up his tip with your entrance. You whine in anticipation, lips still attached to his own, softer ones. He slowly pushes himself inside, taking lots of time to make sure your tightness grows comfortable around him. It hurts. Not only it is the first time with San, it felt like the first time altogether. At first, it seemed like your damn hymen grew back. Ironic, considering the amount of sex you used to have. You frowned as you whimpered softly into his mouth. He quickly broke the kiss, watching you with a slightly panicked look on his face.
"Hey, you all right?" he brushed the hair out of your face with his right hand, holding his weight on his left arm. You slowly started to get used to him, your whole body relaxing noticeably when seeing his face.
"Yeah, you can move." you stated with a voice glazed with desire. He did as asked, moving his hips in slow strokes, every time trying to deepen himself more inside you. He groaned each time his dick reached a new part of you.
"Fucking hell, how are you so fucking tight?" he lets out in a tone that almost seems annoyed with the state of your pussy.
"You...are the first...since then." you speak in between craving moans. He shudders at your words, stopping for a second, as he buries his forehead in the crook of your neck.
"Well, damn, princess. Should've let me stretch you out sooner." he whispers into your ear. And that is by far the most obscene thing that has left his lips tonight. He started moving again, this time picking a pace that had you crying out for his name. You couldn't think of much else when San was fucking you, his cock kindly brushing over a certain sweet spot every time it reached its depth. His dick and your pleasure occupied most of the place inside you and your mind, respectively. But at one point, you did try to recall how exactly you ended up right there. Somewhere along the way of finding the answer, you realized it didn't matter how, it mattered that it did. And the strokes that San was driving into you only made you thank the universe that it happened. Following after his release, he increased his speed. His voice was starting to get raspy after groaning and moaning, as did yours, both of your throats dry now.
"I...I think I'm gonna cum..." he whispered in your ear, and you immediately understood the question hiding behind his words. Your mind was in a state of debate for a few too many seconds. In or out? The only person that ever came in was him. In or out? But you wanted San to cum inside you so badly. In or out? That wouldn't be fair. In or out? But why wouldn't it be?
"Inside." you determinately say. His movements begin to grow messy, losing rhythm. He immerses into you deep, almost knocking you out with the way his cock is so richly stuffed inside you, and he let's out an angelic cry as he fills you up with white ropes of his hot seed. With his forehead glued to your shoulder, San pauses to catch his breath for a few seconds, before pulling his body up to get better vision of you. He cups your cheek and kisses you softly once again, pulling himself apart from you quicker than expected.
"You're so beautiful," he brushes his thumb over your lips. "I could look at you for all eternity." your heart thumps heavily when hearing his words. It made no sense for you how someone who looked like him, could tell you that you're beautiful. It seemed so far away from your reality, but still, you were thankful. At a loss for words, and only giving a shy smile in return, San mirrors it as he ascends and then throws himself in the empty space next to you. The only thing that is heard the next few minutes is both of your breaths as your chests heave. You nuzzle up into San's side, he embraces you with his arm as you grab him by the waist, laying your head on his chest. He kisses you on the crown of your head as he starts humming a melody that you don't think you've heard yet. Nonetheless, sleep gets a hold of your tired body and mind quickly, and you don't know if it's the alcohol that creates an illusion, or if it's just San's presence, but throughout your dreams you feel as if you are guarded by an angel.
Easily the best sleep you've had in a while. You are reminded of how easy it is to fall asleep on someone else's shoulder, just as you wake up.
*****
Before you met him you always thought you were better at spending time alone than you were at spending time with others. Now your thoughts had changed about the matter. It was like you were made only for being in Hongjoong's company, and when you were, you felt at peace. Like nothing could affect you ever again. The moments after sex were the ones you loved most, it almost felt like after your bodies were joint, your souls were getting combined as well, while laying on one another. He had his warm hand draped against your waist, playfully tracing circles on your soft skin, humming whatever song came to his mind. Your hand was on his bare chest and your head in the crook of his armpit. If you would be stuck in a time loop made only of this moment, you would never get sick of it.
The heat his body was emanating seemed to strangely warm you up from inside out, and the smell that was around the two of you was making your mind dizzy and your lungs crave for more. Feeling his chest rise as he inhaled and exhaled made you realize that your breaths were in sync, and hearing his heartbeat, you were sure they were too, in sync with yours. For you, loving Hongjoong was such a natural thing to do, like you two were extensions of each other and worked at full capacity only when together. His fingers slowly took a hold of your hand which he brought to his lips, he kissed it and then squeezed it tightly. You looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes sprinkled with love and adoration as he watched you.
"I think that every day I spend with you, I find a new meaning to love." he brushes your cheek gently and you stay silent, your mind in a stage of awe at how greatly he sums up the things you feel, without even talking to each other. You smile as you kiss him again and again and again.
"Then let's find a new meaning to love together for the rest of our lives," still standing close to his face, you see him smile and you do as well. You knew that even in the darkest of days, his smile would always lighten up your whole world. He pecks your lips again and suddenly tries to get up from the bed, the coldness you feel not only in your body, but your heart as well, wraps around your mind and you quickly grab his hand. He stops and kneels on the bed, looking at your uncovered body still on display for the flame that takes ahold in his enchanting eyes.
"We'll be late..." he says as he gets closer to you. That wouldn't be a problem, you think. The author should be allowed to be late to their own book release, right?
"Ten more minutes," you plead as you pull him towards you. He smirks and let's you take control of both his mind and body, as he lays on top of you, filling you up with the heat emanating from his body once again. After all, ten minutes wasn't that much, right?
*****
There it was. The selfishness that has made you lose him. The selfishness that brought you here with San. Everything was your fault. You lost so much of yourself the day you lost Hongjoong, but you were sure your last bit of humanity was completely lost the day you let Choi San believe that you could love him the same way he did. How could you be so reckless? You couldn't even blame the alcohol anymore, only your fucking stupidity. You used the only friend left that you cared about, as a rebound. And he doesn't even know. You looked up at the man who was holding you tight against his chest, as if not to lose you. He was still asleep. His natural unflawed beauty made your heart exclaim in agony as you traced his features with your gaze. As thoughts were overwhelming your mind, you placed your head in its initial position. Your eyes were starting to sting when tears started to form up.
You were the worst there was, weren't you? You killed your boyfriend and you deceived your friend into being your distraction, from all the pain and guilt, in more than one way. You didn't recognize yourself anymore, not after so much time of ignoring all your thoughts and suppressing all your feelings thinking it would get better. It didn't get better, the opposite actually, seeing where you stand right now. It was all because of you, and your selfishness, and it could've all be avoided if you didn't wish for fucking ten more minutes.
You started quivering and sobbing.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" San confusedly asks. This should be a sight to see as soon as you open your eyes. The girl you were balls deep in the night before, crying in front of you the morning after. Comforting you came natural to him, like he has been doing it for all his life. And you realized he did do it, not for all his life, sure, but since it happened. He has done his best to comfort you in every way he could. And he always succeeded. And this is how you repaid him. How could you be such a fucking asshole?
"San you need to...you have to leave...I'm sorry." you say through sniffles as it gets harder and harder for you to control the tears pouring down your face. You cannot look him in the eyes but you do get a peek at his grave look, how he looks down, unsure of what to do.
"Did I do something?" he quietly asks with a certain thread of fear in his voice, as if he was terrified of what his question might cause. You wish you could tell him that at the same time he didn't do anything, he also did too much. His kindness and love were too overwhelming for you in the state you were in.t. No matter how much he tried, his love couldn't repair you. You were the only one who could do that, but for what felt like the longest time, you didn't want to do it. Maybe it was time to try now.
"God, no..." you barely manage to blurt out. Speaking seems like the most tiring thing to do right now. "I just have to be alone right now." trying to stop your tears briefly, you look him in the eyes as he retracts his hands off of you. And you can't help but feeling it again, even if you know that it's not the case. Abandoned. Once again, and like the first time, it was all because of you. He got up from the bed, quickly dressing himself in the heavy silence that was surrounding both of you. You slowly hugged your knees to your chest, slightly burying your head in the space that you created. Maybe it wasn't for the best to be left alone but you were afraid of what might happen if you weren't. You saw San walk to your front door, put on his shoes and look at you for a last time. You looked up at him with teary eyes.
"Y/N, I..." love you. He didn't need to enunciate it, you could already see it on his face, how much it hurt him to leave you in this mess, all alone. Whatever you felt for him was so hard to decipher in the amalgam of things that were dwelling inside of you. And it was even harder to accept that you did have certain feelings for him, stronger that you would've liked. He sighed and slowly shook his head, looking down. You saw him leave and then you didn't see much anymore. As bitter tears that flooded your eyes slowly slid into your mouth. Painful screams were tumbling out of your chest giving you no chance to control them. As you get up off the bed you start grabbing whatever comes first and throwing it around. Cradled papers, books off of shelves, tiny decorations on your desk. You reach a framed photo of you and Hongjoong and stop for a second to look at it. Back at the beginning of your relationship when you went to a museum. It started snowing so much that his black coat turned white. You still remembered the cold weather of that period but the warmth of his smile was burning still, even through the damn picture. A few of your tears stained the glass of the photo and after you whimpered in the discomfort you felt around your heart, like someone was squeezing it in their fist, you threw it on the wall across from you. Did you really have to destroy everything nice in your life? As soon as it shattered to pieces you rushed towards it, as if you were not expecting the completely obvious to happen.
"No, no, no..." you whisper to yourself in disbelief. You slowly pick the broken glass in your shaking hands as your crying only gets louder, rivers of tears flowing down your face when your eyes can't seem to look anywhere else but at the old photo.
"I miss you so fucking much..." you whimper in pain, like a dog being beaten.
It's pure torture, you realize, what you're doing to yourself. It takes a lot for your now bloody palms to make contact with your face and wipe your tears, only leaving more of a mess behind. The flesh, now torn from picking up the thin pieces of broken glass, stings when your salty tears slide over the bloody trails and as you rise up with wobbly legs to throw it in the trash, you find yourself looking out the same window you stood with your lover on his last day beside you. Your tears suddenly came to a halt as you looked at the city lights near and far away; your breathing steadied and you remembered.
I want a balcony.
How were you supposed to move on, when you haven't even moved out?
You never felt so nervous for anything in your life before. The microphone was waiting for you on the warmly illuminated stage. You took shy steps towards it as the people started to applaud loudly, you were sure you heard someone whistle from the crowd. As you got in front of the microphone stand you placed one hand on it, dragging it closer. You were not sure how to do this. It should've been your second time, but due to the incidents back then, it was the first time in your life you had to speak at your own book release. Or even attend it. You inhaled deeply and looked through the crowd once more. Your eyes met Seonghwa's as he slightly raised the glass of champagne towards you. The pity he laid upon you with the help of his gaze a while back had turned into pride. You couldn't help but remember the surprise on his face when you went not to his office, but his house, at two in the morning, when you finally finished writing.
You spent the night together, he began reading and you fell in and out of sleep on his couch. When you woke up, he made breakfast for you and he told you how great it was, with the little eternal side notes from his side. He was proud.
"I have no idea what I should say," you offer a strong beginning, everyone starting to chuckle at your awkward comment. "I've been through hell and back writing this book. Two years and a half ago I lost the love of my life in a car accident, and for a long time I thought I lost everything." the room became suddenly tense as you spoke the words.
"But this should be a reminder that some doors aren't closed. We just think that they are." you finish off raising your glass and looking at a familiar pair of eyes. Everyone cheers as you get off the stage, and after receiving compliments from your boss, your team and other people as well, you follow the suited silhouette that you've been secretly chasing with your stare all night, outside.
"Hey," you greet as you find San on a bench right next to the venue. His eyes meet yours and for a brief second it's like all the nerves you had on stage came back, but they were doubled this time. It was hard going through everything without San. He tried to contact you, of course, but you weren't giving him much and the only times you saw him were when you ran into each other at work. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't recognize yourself anymore, but he? He was just the same. Dressed for the occasion, his black hair swiped back neatly and his face...as gorgeous as ever, and the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
"Hey," he greets back as he drags his body on one side of the bench, signaling for you to join him. You sit beside him and look forward, feeling his eyes on your figure. "how have you been?" he asks, his voice glazed in worry. You made him suffer for the last time, you tell yourself. The whole ghosting thing and all the times you avoided him, those summed up the last time you were going to ever hurt him. For now you were working towards slowly healing the wound that has scarred you, which gave you more clarity about a lot of things.
"Better." you answer, looking in his direction. "I finally got it out!" you add smiling, a bittersweet smile that you held inside for a long time, it was for him only.
"I told you." San mimics your smile and looks into the distance.
"You did," moments of silence accompany as you think of the best way to embody your thoughts into words. "I never got to apologize." you start and his head shoots right at you. "I'm sorry. For using you to try and fuck my pain away." finally saying it aloud to him and getting it off your chest make your lungs finally not burn up when you try to inhale.
"I should apologize too," he begins and it's your turn to look at him with confusion.
"A part of me was aware that you were trying to do that and yet I wasn't able to stop myself." he adds. And it's like some part of you already knew, and already forgave him for it and that was because you knew you had way more blame than him, but you learned to come to terms with it, like you did with many things in your life. Learning to forgive yourself wasn't an easy process, but with the help of a good therapist, you slowly learned how to do it. You were at peace with a few of the things that kept you awake during the night. Slowly getting better.
"I'm sorry." he says and you're sure that more honest words had never left his mouth.
You take his hand into yours and place it on your lap. For the first time since you know him, his hands are cold. You use your other palm as a blanket and cover his hand from the cold winter breeze outside. He nurtured for you enough, it was finally time that you were ready to return the favor.
"I read the book," he says, looking at your hands holding each other.
"Lots of them are inspired from your stories," you refer to the poems, thinking of how many more were written with your mind only thinking about him that didn't even make the cut into the book. "and lots of them are inspired from you." You look into his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently. Maybe you didn't yet know what you wanted. But you knew what you didn't want. And you didn't want to lose San. Not again. Not ever.
"Can I take you out on Thursday?" he asks as his gaze stills down on your warm face. If he asked you this on a bad day, you still weren't sure what your answer would be, but today was a good day. You never got to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but that didn't mean you couldn't say hello to anyone ever again. "You know, in case you need more inspiration for your next masterpiece." he adds and you laugh shortly while nodding quickly. You spend a few more minutes in silence, enduring the cold air, silently revealing to each other the most vulnerable parts of you. You look down at your joined hands and then into his eyes. You smile, partly because you do feel happy, and the rest because you know he'll do the same, and hell, you fucking missed that dimpled smile of his.
The man doesn't say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, but you are almost sure you can hear his heart beating faster. "I missed you so much." you finally say, letting your feelings pour out in front of San for the first time, leaving you vulnerable in a way no one has seen you since then.
And for the first time, while looking at the bright clear sky above you, you think for yourself that...He would be so proud.
Warning! Sexual content ahead! Minors pleas dni!
pairing: jeon jungkook x fem! reader
genre: established relationship, rich!idol! boyfriend jungkook, heavy smut
word count: 4.3k
warnings: manual stimulation, oral sex (both giving and receiving), unprotected sex, overstimulation, back scratching, face riding, slight hair pulling, creampie.
a/n: i'm down bad in my jungkook phase rn...........he is so hot i feel like crying istg. anyway this is one of my favorite fics because of the jet ski bit which might or might not be inspired by a true story *laughs awkwardly*👀👀👀👀👀 anyways, hope u guys enjoy and make sure to leave some feedback! i love to read it! xoxo
___________________________________________
serendipity.
maybe (only maybe) it was a stretch to think that something so simple would make you feel this way. bathing in the morning sunlight, opening your eyes from time to time to stare at the blue sky or follow the flight of occasional seagulls that would enter your field of vision. any other day and the sun would've felt too hot, but today it was crisping you up just enough. stationed somewhere in the ocean, laying on the deck of your boyfriend's unnecessarily expensive yacht, glass of equally expensive and fancy champagne next to your head. what a life to live, huh?
these little escapades were a rare occurrence in your life as a couple. you were a busy woman and jungkook was triple the amount. living life as an international star had its pro's seeing how both of you were now lavishly vacationing on a big yacht, but it had even more con's.
everything in between you was a secret, something you had to learn to live with. something that didn't make you disappointed anymore when you would plan a week ahead and get your plans cancelled the night before. all because he couldn't prioritize you. but you knew all that was for the better and with time, you learned that the things you thought were detrimental to your relationship were actually the things that would make it work, at least for the time being. if it ever got out it would've been done and over with.
the last thing you wanted was for you and jungkook to break up. if you had to admit, the bond in between you was like nothing you ever had with anyone before. and that includes any type of relationship, be it friends or lovers. you found it peculiar at the beginning, how easily he would say the things you were thinking or how you discovered him to have most of the same principles you had. strange how to people so different from one another are still so much alike, needing only a glance to understand what thoughts gather in the other's head.
you were endlessly challenging each other in different ways. be it how jungkook (the adrenaline eater on toast for breakfast) would make you do bungee jumping off a bridge or how you would show him what you do in a yoga class and make him sit mostly still for an hour so he can relax, each of you were helping the other grow in different ways and you were thankful for that. even more thankful for him. for you were not only connected with jungkook's mind, but his body as well. him being by far the best lover that dared join you to bed.
the feeling of his fingers grazing your soft skin would linger on your body and especially on your mind for weeks on end, until they would find themselves in the same place all over again. his wild personality was mirrored in his unique style of making love, being rough yet passionate, intense yet comfortable. it was familiarity that you would always encounter when any of your love scenes took place, no matter the odd locations where they did. seeing how he lived a turbulent life, you had to adapt to it. but you were not complaining, both of you had become accustomed to quick sex in restaurant bathrooms when he gets an unexpected call during dinner. or steamy sex in the shower to get two things done at the same time when he would have to prepare for a concert. as for the latter, one of the tasks would be successfully failed seeing how you would need another shower in itself after the deed was done.
jungkook made you feel things no other has. his love was heating you up just like the sun did, sun which you felt was stolen away from you.
you open your eyes, coming in contact with a jungkook that wears a smile too excited for your own good. he's sat on his heels, slightly leaned over you as his broad shoulders cast a shadow over your skin. you frown, trying to figure out whatever mischief his pretty head might've came up with this time.
"you're blocking the sun." you slowly mutter out, dragging your eyes over his body, admiring his faintly golden skin under his tattoos and his toned abs, slowly dragging your gaze down to the waistband of his shorts and his muscular thighs. you can't help yourself and drape your hand over his torso, resting it on waist as you rub it slowly. you sigh heavily as you look over to him again. all for you.
"i think the sun has stared at you enough," the man says as he cups your cheek, lowering himself enough so his face rests right in front of yours. "my turn now." he adds before capturing your lips in a slow, soft kiss. one that arises a certain heat inside you, feeling his tongue shyly swirl inside your mouth as yours tastes him with hunger. you feel him groan into your mouth as you pinch his side jokingly.
he chuckles as he breaks the kiss, staring at you for a few seconds. looking into his shiny eyes, you realize that whatever he would ask of you right now, you won't be able to give him a no as an answer.
"wanna take a ride on the jet ski?" the question comes, reading your mind like always.
"i don't know how to ride the jet ski."
"yeah, but your boyfriend knows how to do everything, doesn't he?" jungkook adds as he displays a smug smile. you chuckle upon hearing his words, looking in the opposite direction at the ocean stretching far, far away.
"what if i fall?" you ask genuinely concerned.
"if you fall then i'll jump after you before the sharks get to eat you alive." he answers, starting to laugh when he sees your face distorting as fear overwhelms you. "but that won't happen!" he comforts through giggles as he takes your face in both of his palms, kissing you once again.
"i'll show you how to ride it, c'mon." he says as he gets up to his feet, extending his hand towards you. you gladly take it and let him yank your weight up, helping you in a standing position as well.
"okay, you're doing good baby." manner of praise that you're used to hear in a completely different context resounds in your ears from behind.
after securing the life vest tightly around you, jungkook wasted no time in getting you on the jet ski, quickly telling you how to maneuver it with his strong arms on top of yours showing you the acceleration and the brake, thoroughly explaining how everything works.
"you can go faster, you know." he chuckles as he presses your hand resting on the accelerator. you laughed in terror, intending to resist the way his hand was hugging yours tightly, trying to reach the full speed of the watercraft. as much as you enjoyed the adrenaline, you couldn't look past at how the ocean stretched as much as you could see, even his boat being a little further away than what you'd be comfortable with. you closed your eyes, letting the droplets of water splash your face in a refreshing manner as the air breezed through your hair.
you could get lost in the feeling, the one of freedom, if you wouldn't feel your boyfriend's palms resting on your bare thighs, massaging them slowly as his breath, hot in comparison with the ocean breeze, fans over the soft skin of your neck. you open your eyes and look in the right mirror, his doe-like eyes begging more of you once again. something that you'd be happy to endorse as always. you slow down your hold on the accelerator, the bumps that you felt every time the jet ski came in contact with a wave growing less aggressive as the watercraft went smoothly on the surface of the water. you raised your brows curiously when his hands climbed towards your heat, that was barely covered by the bikini you chose to wear. jungkook only smiled before starting to kiss your neck, slowly making his way up to your jaw, his hands keeping up pace, reaching your clothed pussy at the same time his lips sucked the sweet spot where your jaw and earlobe joined.
"is this part of teaching me how to ride a jet ski?" you ask, already turned on by the sight of his plush lips feasting on your skin in the mirror. his lip piercing brushed over your jaw as he looked at you, fingers pulling your bikini to the side as swiftly as the jet ski moved through the clear water.
"nah," he answers rubbing slow circles onto your awaiting clit. you couldn't help but get comfortable under his touch, leaning your back on his chest as your legs spread wider apart instinctively, letting him caress your sensitive bud just the way he knew perfectly well by now. "just a little reward for being such a quick study."
your fingers weaken their hold on the lever as jungkook's own start building a pace, the freshness of the situation toying with your head in a different way altogether, thinking of how easy it would be to just fuck right there and then. he clicked his tongue three times before stopping his movements the same time as the jet ski did.
"you gotta take us back to the boat if you wanna cum, babe." his voice deep as he whispered into your ear, eyes not leaving yours even for a second, pierced eyebrow rising expectantly as he finished his phrase. you huff as you roll your eyes with a smile on your face.
your hand grips the lever tight, making the jet ski rush through the water, jungkook's tattooed fingers mimicking the action as his pads trace circles over your clit faster. you let out a moan into the cold air as he latches his lips back to your neck when his other hand grips tightly on your thigh. your concentration fades, your mind dizzying itself up even more as you speed up the jet ski to its limit, jumping over each wave that comes your way. your ass smacks itself down on the seat violently with every impact and you are wondering if jungkook's body is being thrown into the air the same as yours but you draw a negative conclusion when you feel his hand pinning you down on the leather seat.
"rushing somewhere?" he sneers into your ear and you finally come back to your senses, only capable to give him a whimper as answer while slowing your grip on the lever as you realize the boat is getting closer to you, or you to the boat. you couldn't tell the difference anymore, not with how your high was building up rapidly, your legs shaking uncontrollably around the saddle seat of the jet ski. you struggled to keep your eyes opened and to maneuver the watercraft to the side of the boat as the waves of orgasm washed over you the same way the ones of the ocean washed over the hull of the white yacht. you threw your head back against jungkook's shoulder as loud moans were being ripped from you, his hand carrying you to overstimulation as his other one was digging crescents into the meat of your thigh.
"holy fuck!" you mutter out as you grab a hold of his knees, trying to pull yourself out of his touch as you arch your back but to no avail. because you didn't really wanted him to stop. every second passing by was sweet torture, jungkook's ministrations being able to bring you on the brink of exhaustion in only few moments.
his fingers stop slowly, your body still jolting under his touch as he dives for your hole, coating his fingers in your release before pulling them away from you. you make eye contact in the mirror again, his hand precisely making it's way to your lips, fingers waiting excitedly for you to open your mouth. you obey to the silent command and take his fingers inside you, swirling your tongue over and in between them as you look at jungkook. his eyes are filled with lust, his prey-like gaze from before long gone, being replaced by one of a predator.
"good girl." he whispers into your ear as he gently slaps the outsides of your thighs. removing his fingers from your mouth, he gives you a one sided smirk as he places his hands on the handlebar of the jet ski, maneuvering it closer to the boat so you two can get out of one floating thing and onto the other.
"oh my god!" you screamed loud enough for people to hear you on each side of the ocean. "i think that's a shark." words that come out way too pitched at the sight of what was most definitely a shark. shock takes sudden control of your mind and your body as you remain petrified, watching as the big animal swims right next to the hull of the yacht.
terrifying, you think to yourself, just as you always thought them to be. and suddenly all the times that you were met with a dismissive response of "yeah, but you'll never actually see any sharks" when you told people your greatest fear, turned out to be untrue.
"really?" you hear from behind you, the only thing keeping you connected to the current reality being the sweet voice of your boyfriend.
sweet voice matched along with mischievous actions as you feel strong hands pushing you forward into the water and pulling you back just before your torso made contact with the edge of the boat. you scream once again, now a sound that seems ripped from a horror movie. your eyes keep wide as your heart starts beating uncontrollably whilst your tensed back is being pressed tight against jungkook's firm chest. his hands keep their place on your shoulders, rubbing slowly as you hear his croaked laugh from behind you.
"i-i'm breaking up with you." you mutter out slowly and he only laughs harder to your comment, turning you to face him.
"you said that when i made you paraglide and here we are." he says through a pout, gesturing down with his eyes when enunciating the last three words.
"not for long if you're gonna feed me to the shark." you reply and he throws his head back in laughter again, long black strands of hair flowing as he moves. this time you join him too, heart still beating fast. you knew it was because of him, but you weren't sure if it was him fake pushing you into the water or just him.
yeah, you got scared, but in reality you knew he would rather throw himself in the water than risk losing you. if you thought about it, a heart attack would've been worth it just to see him laugh the way he does now, smile brighter than the sun in the mid-day, the mole under his lower lip ever present and ever stealing the show as his naked chest heaved for air upon his last chuckles.
"let me make it up to you." he whispers close to your ear as his hands find purchase on your hips, pulling you closer to him.
"well, you could make it up to me by not trying to feed me to the shark." you whisper back, pressing your hands on his chest not only to feel him but also to put some distance in between the two of you so you can look into his eyes again. he hums as his lips twitch in a wicked smile, looking to the side as if considering the option you just gave him, eyes laying back on yours with a far more dangerous gaze than whatever swam in the water beneath your feet.
"or i could feed on your pussy on the deck of our very expensive yacht." he suggests, latching his soft lips on your neck, the metal of his piercing stroking your skin again. you don't know what gets your heat pooling most: the sudden erotic statement or the mutual attribution of his possession and how he chose to say our instead of my, when in reality it was his yacht. you hum in return, interlocking the fingers of both of your hands at the back of your boyfriend's neck as you let yourself swayed by him in the place aforementioned.
he's quick to lay you down on your back, taking his rightful place in between your parted legs as he kneels on the white shiny surface. jungkook leans over you, smashing his hungry lips onto yours, making sure to reach beyond any point his tongue has reached before. his fingers tickle your nape as they untie the string of the top of your swimsuit, leaving your breasts naked under his sight, nipples all hardened up for him. he moans as he takes one of them into his mouth, licking it painfully hard while he massages your other breast. you whimper, arching your back as your right hand finds a hold of his head, pulling him closer. you feel the vibrations of his moan down to each and every end of your nerves when your other hand scratches his back a little too harshly, letting your nipple out with a loud pop, he rises to his knees again, eyeing each part of you closely whilst untying the strings of the bikini bottom as well.
"fuck, your body..." he whispers as he slightly palms his growing length. you could say the same about him, all sweaty from the heat, golden skin highlighting your favorite parts of his body even more- his collarbones, the defined line in between his muscular pecs, his toned abs and oh, so beautiful v line. maybe gods really did walk on earth.
"i know i said i'd eat you out," jungkook articulates as he sits beside you, giving you an all knowing look. "but i changed my mind." he adds, helping you get up and over him, laying down on his back right as your thighs hug each side of him. he hooks his strong hands under your thighs and pulls you as close to his face as he can, letting you do the rest of the job as you quickly realize what it is that he wants. still a manner of eating someone out, you think, but you understand what he meant to say: i won't feed on you, you'll be feeding me yourself.
you rise off of him a bit, so you can place yourself better on top him, wet pussy hovering right above his mouth. your thighs straddling each side of his face as he pulls your weight down, wasting not a second more as his eager tongue licked a smooth path from your clit to your hole, collecting all your nectar in his mouth. he groaned into your core, devouring the sweet flesh of your pussy as his tongue delved deeper inside you. you began slow motions of your hips, thanking whatever gods forged jungkook for making his nose the way it was, for it was now brushing perfectly against your clit as you grinded on his face. his smooth palms place themselves on your ass cheeks, encouraging you even further to make a mess out of him as his veiny arms moved in tandem with the rolls of your hips, pushing you further down his mouth.
the sun was the only witness to the erotic scene the two of you were displaying, hot rays grazing your back as you were desperately chasing your high. jungkook was sending vibrations into your core as he murmured in satisfaction upon hearing your high pitched moans, working harder in the process of tongue fucking you with each second passing by. your hips move frantically when the ticklish sensation in your lower abdomen starts to make it's appearance and you find hold of the metal railing in front of you, squeezing it as tight as jungkook is squeezing your ass. you let go with a breathy moan, tilting your body forward as your boyfriend laps up every drop of your hot release with hunger. you feel yourself jolt, not being aware of any other part of your body except where jungkook's tongue is, teasing your contracting hole. he takes it out slowly and licks his way up to your clit again, gasping quietly for air as his face gets itself out of the entrapment of your thighs. you look down at him, taking in his glistening jaw and wide smile as you give him one in return.
"if you ever decide to kill me, please do it this way." he says motioning his eyes down to your still pulsating core and back to you. you chuckle tiredly, slowly removing your body from his.
getting up to your feet requires more control from your thighs than you've ever needed, burning soreness making it's presence felt in between them. you extend your hand to him and he takes it, making no effort in rising to his feet. you walk down into the cockpit, pushing his chest slowly when you reach the cushioned bench on one side of it. he sits down, legs spread apart, giving you better vision to the bulge in the thin material of his black shorts. you vigorously collapse to your knees, taking less than two seconds to yank the only material covering him down to his ankles. you place your hands on his knees, slowly rising them to the erect member resting it's tip on his torso, head glistening in pre-cum as you get your hands to the base of it, rubbing it in slow up and down motion as you feel the skin shift underneath your tight hold.
he releases a moan through his bitten lower lip and you smirk up at him just before your mouth comes in contact with his shaft, engulfing it as you try to venture yourself deeper down. his length reaches the back of your throat, making you gag around it as you cover the part of his dick that just wouldn't fit in your mouth with your soft hands, jerking it slowly as you start bobbing your head.
"fuck..." he groans, taking a fistful of your hair, guiding your head smoothly down his cock, soaking it with your spit. you moan around him, tightening your grip of both his cock and thigh as the rhythm increases in pace. tears form at the outer corners of your eyes every time his tip brushes pleasantly against the back of your throat. you look up to him only to find his sight already upon you, eyes studying the pretty image of your soft lips around his cock through heavy lids and a grunt filled with tension. you bop your head faster, sloppily taking in whatever inch you can reach and he moans again, abruptly stopping your movements by yanking your head away. he leans in to kiss you, pinching his tip in between his thumb and index finger as he groans into your mouth.
"you almost had me there." he chuckles as he breaks the kiss, rising you by your armpits and anchoring you on his lap. you laugh as you place your knees on the surface he was sat on, his hands on your waist as he helps you up. you quickly align his wet tip with your even wetter entrance and slowly slide down with a quiet whimper, throwing your head back when the feeling of him finally stretching you out is given to your craving body. he grabs a hold of your ass cheeks again, creating space in between the both of you so he can thrust into you, at first slowly but increasing pace rapidly as you buried your nails in his muscular back, leaving long red trails when you slid them towards his shoulders.
you thought to yourself that your screams definitely traveled to the shores, reaching the ears of people as jungkook was drilling his hips into you at an ungodly speed, making sure to fill you up to the brim every time his hips went up. it was fast and passionate all together and every time you closed your eyes you seemed to forget where you were. nothing bore importance anymore other than jungkook and his sweet voice into your ear as he moaned louder than ever before, music to your ears. he seemed to take advantage of the fact that the two of you were stranded alone even more than you did. his movements grew messy as his groans grew deeper and in no longer than seven more strides, jungkook stilled his hips, pressing them upwards so his cock was as deep as it could be inside of you. hot ropes of white liquid were painting your velvety walls, the feeling making your head dizzy.
jungkook was breathing hardly, head buried in the crook of your neck as your hand was in his hair, brushing through his luscious, black strands. although you didn't cum again, your pussy was convulsing around his softening member, clit still aching from the two orgasms you had before. the feeling was as sweet as honey and you delighted in it, wishing for time to never pass. to leave you and jungkook in this moment as you looked at the ocean and the sun slowly starting to set down, painting it a pretty shade of pink. you remained hugged for some time, not muttering even a word out as your boyfriend traced lazy circles on your back with his soft fingers, you still massaging his head softly as your own started to pulsate shyly.
"i think i got a sunstroke." you say as you pull away from his embrace, only to place your hands on his chest and kiss his lips softly. he giggles quietly into your mouth, taking a hold of your nape with his tattooed hand and deepening the kiss.
"don't worry baby," he whispered close to your face, mouth traveling down to your jaw, neck, chest, slowly planting wet kisses along it's way. "i'm gonna fuck it away for you."
Warning! Sexual content ahead! Minors please do not interact!
pairing: jeong yunho x gn! reader
genre: pure filthy smut, very innocent reader, dom! yunho
word count: 2.3k
warnings: oral sex (m receiving), slapping, throat-fucking, choking, dacryphilia, cum play, cum kissing, cum eating, words of praise but also degrading???? (don't ask, my childhood trauma went both ways).
a/n: i'm back ! second yunho fic in a row woah woah woah. imma let u in on a secret about this fic, my friend actually did this to me and i didn't even end up having sex with the man😃😃😃. i still hold a grudge against her. all that being said, i hope the person who requested this enjoys it, as well as the rest of you. ly guys, stay safe! xoxo
"i refuse to believe you've done this." you exclaim in all seriousness to your friend, sitting in front of you with the most innocent of looks while sipping from her foamy cappuccino.
"why? it's not even that bad!" she replies, offering you the most cunning smile.
"you basically told the man that i want to have sex with him! he's going to think that i'm desperate to get laid!" you sigh, covering your face with one palm while you lay back into the chair.
"that's not what i told him!" she defends herself shocked that you could believe something like that.
"well, that's what you told me." you offer while you watch her shake her head rapidly.
"wrong." she says rising her index finger in the air.
"it went like this: i asked 'hey are u taken?' and he said no...so i saaid 'a pal of mine thinks you're kinda hot' and he asked who, and i gave him your instagram." she takes a break to let her work, in which she seems to take great pride, sink in. "then he said that he's not looking for a relationship, which is great! cause y'know...you're not looking for one either. so i told him that you don't want nothing serious and that was it."
"that was it?" you ask as you stare at her defying smile. "you're fucking insane and your face right now makes me want to murder you."
"oh, come on, the worst thing that can happen is he's not interes-"
"no!" you cut her off. "the worst has already happened! and it's all because of you." you sigh again as you place both of your palms on your face in sign of defeat.
"first of all, you're such a drama queen. second, try and see the good part, he might be interested and you're gonna end up having hot steamy sex with my ex-classmate yunho and then i will be your best friend in the whole entire universe," she says as she offers you puppy eyes and you can only sigh in embarrassment yet again.
"i hate-"
ding
"well, fuck." you say as you inspect the notification on your phone.
yun_ho has started following you
"what?" your friend asks curiously.
"he just followed me." you answer.
your friend squeaks in shock right when you receive a new notification.
'are you free tonight?'
your eyes widen and you feel all the blood in your body rise to the apple of your cheeks.
"you didn't tell me he's got such a big ego." you tell your friend.
assuming that he doesn't even need to introduce himself before initiating any kind of relationship between the two of you told you more than enough about the man.
"what did he say?" your friend asks again.
you don't answer...her.
'nice to meet you too' you send back to the man on the other end of the phone.
why the fuck does he type so slowly?
"nothing interesting yet," you finally reply to your friend trying to distract yourself from the way your heart beats faster than before in your chest.
she starts talking about something but you certainly aren't listening to her, and as soon as your phone vibrates in your hand, you can't help but checking it immediately.
'i think we can skip the introductions seeing how you already know me and i already know you. a little birdie told me you'd like to meet me, so i'll ask again. are you free tonight?'
holy fuck. that right there. a fucking message turning you on in the middle of the coffee shop while you're sitting right in front of your best friend. heat starting from your chest and spreading in your belly as it tingles it's way down between your thighs and to your toes.
you sigh.
'yes'
somehow, you still can't believe that the man who you were joking about having sex with is now standing right next to you, driving quietly with you in the passenger's seat and following the direction to his apartment.
"not much of a talker?" he asks, making a turn to the right.
usually, you don't find yourself in this certain type of a situation. going with a stranger to his home. in his car. when you haven't exchanged more than five phrases with him.
safe to say you trust your friend. and that you're extremely horny. especially for the tall man with blonde hair and big veiny hands that looks like a cute puppy and a home wrecker at the same time.
"you make me nervous." you reply shortly.
your honesty was the trait that you hated most about yourself at times.
"oh, really? why's that?" he asks while curling his lips.
you lick yours instinctively.
"because." you say again as you turn your head away from him, trying not to give too much away in such a short time.
"because what?" he asks again.
"no reason."
the quickness of your replies give away just how nervous you are.
"i'm sure there must be one." he insists as his hand lowers to shift gears, the back of his palm brushing intentionally on your knee as he does so.
it's dizzying to think about how the man you fantasized about a couple of nights ago, was now making an effort to touch you.
"if there is then i'm not going to tell you." you answer again trying to ignore how you crave internally for his touch.
"playing brat, are we?" the words leave his mouth more like a groan and you're not sure whether you notice the car stopping before or after you hear his voice again. "we're here," yunho whispers close to your ear as he unbuckles your seatbelt and you can feel his cologne without even turning your face towards him.
"are you gonna look at me or do i make you that nervous?" he whispers again, his hot breath fanning over the exposed skin of your neck.
you remain petrified as your heart beats so fast that you think he can hear it. a few seconds go by, seconds that feel like hours, and he chuckles as he pulls away from you.
"come on, let's go upstairs." he orders and you obey, following closely in his footsteps.
you take the elevator to the fourth floor, enter the apartment, take your jacket off and sit on the couch presented by yunho in his living room. he shows up with two glasses of red wine and places them on the table in front of you before heading to the bathroom.
you get up and inspect his living room. from the drawings on the walls to the pictures of him on the shelves. you laugh to yourself, sipping from the glass of wine as you think to yourself if the innocent kid in the pictures has any idea of the intimidating man he will grow up to be.
"what's so funny?" you hear from right behind you and your body processes the scare before your mind gets to, so in result you drop the glass as you squeal in surprise, breaking the fragile object in tiny little pieces at your feet.
you turn around and see yunho, at an arm's reach, looking very unsurprised- like he expected it to happen.
"shit, i'm sorry," you say, quickly kneeling down to grab every piece that was within your reach. "i'm going to pay for it." you add, and hear nothing but yunho's footsteps as he goes into the kitchen, coming back with a dark piece of material, which he places right on top of the puddle of red liquor.
you continue cleaning your mess, placing every small glass on top of the cloth, until the tip of yunho's feet enter your field of vision and stand there, not moving an inch as you feel his presence growing stronger and stronger.
you finally raise your head, looking at him from way down and meeting his heavy lidded gaze drinking the way you're on his knees before him. he grabs your chin gently, softly brushing his thumb over your lower lip.
"you wanna fuck me?" he says, bending until his face is close to yours.
you nod.
"how bad?" you groan close to his mouth as you try kissing him but he is faster to yank your face away from his by pulling your hair. your heart never beat as fast as this.
he makes an expectant face, not needing to repeat himself for you to understand what he wants to hear.
"really bad, really fucking bad." you sigh.
"yeah?"
you nod again.
"if you want to fuck me then i'm going to need to fuck your throat first. is that okay?"
you can't believe that he's asking for your consent when you're already kneeling before him, willing to do anything just to have him inside you.
so you nod yet again.
he straightens up and unzips his pants as you help him pull them down to his knees. one of his hands gets lost in your hair, the other takes ahold of his erect member, and it takes nothing more than a second for you to open your mouth obediently and let him drive his warm girth right into your wet cavity.
you swirl your tongue around his tip, relaxing your jaw as you let your head be guided by his gentle hand, pulling you into and away from his pubic bone slowly, giving you time to grow comfortable to his length.
"not so nervous anymore, huh?" he mocks as he smirks down at you. you look up to him with doe eyes, making his grip on your head tighter.
"you look like you've been wanting to do this for a while." he groans as you fasten the pace of your head motion, sucking along his shaft as you try to take him in entirely, feeling like it is impossible. "i bet i could do whatever i want with you and you'll thank me afterwards," his words boil the blood inside your veins and your heart rushes even faster when his other hand grabs your throat, squeezing it just enough to make your vision blurry. "right?" yunho mutters as he starts fucking into your throat ruthlessly, hitting the back of your throat over and over again, making your blurred vision even blurrier as tears form in your eyes.
the room is filled with wet choking sounds, muffled gags and groans from yunho, who stuffs his cock into your throat greedily, like he may never get the chance to fill it with himself ever again. you feel saliva drooling at the corners of your mouth with each thrust of the man's hips, and you fist your hands trying to ignore the burning sensation in your throat and jaw as they go numb from all the cruel fucking.
yunho seems to notice and he pulls away from your mouth, leaving you to gasp for air like you almost drowned moments before.
"you're doing such a great job," the blond male says as he grips your hair tighter. "might be my best toy yet." he adds and slowly slaps your cheek, awaiting for your reaction.
you moan involuntarily, starting to feel like you were going to cum without even touching him. the feeling of him inside your mouth, the feeling of his touch burning imprints all over your skin were messing with your brain already.
he slaps you again, only this time harder, and you look up to him wishing you could dislike that. but you don't.
"look at you, so beautiful," he says softly, brushing the pink tip of his cock all over your wet lips. "crying just because of my cock." he finishes as he buries himself fully inside you in one go, letting your nose brush against his short pubes and nails dig deep in the palm of your hands as you struggle not to choke on the feeling of his veiny shaft tickling the back of your throat in an oh, so pleasurable way.
tears pour again, this time seeming not to stop when yunho fucks into your mouth yet again, this time searching for his release. one last look into your teary-eyes is enough for the man to groan as his eyes rolls into the back of his head and hot ropes of liquid spill into your throat and mouth, drooling out the corners of your mouth as he pulls out with a pained sigh.
you wait for him to stop cumming, eagerly collecting everything into your mouth as you study him closely: the sweat on his forehead, the frown that took over his features, his soft pleased exhales. he looks down at you, and at your shyly opened mouth, filled with his hot seed. first, he brushes away your tears. second, he collects all the cum dribbling down your chin with his thumb and slides it back into your mouth. third, he bends down and kisses you, which takes you by surprise.
lips smashed hard upon yours, tongue swirling greedily inside your mouth, brushing against yours and mixing his semen with your saliva, as well as his before collecting it into his mouth when he pulls away. he opens your mouth gently with his thumb, letting the mix of fluids drip down on your tongue.
"swallow." he commands, and you don't need to hear it twice before doing it, feeling the burning sensation of swallowing in your sore throat just like you feel it in your tummy, awaiting for something more so you can have your release as well. you look into his eyes as you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, letting him see you'd done as requested. the dark look from his eyes compels you into forgetting everything you know about yourself, and the fact that he is there, right in front of you, becomes realer by the second.
"well done," he says as he pats your head gently. "now, how do you want me to fuck you?"
warnings: !!!cheating!!! (which i do not condone or think it's right in any way, shape or form but yk...it still happens), unprotected sex in a public bathroom, explicit language, praising, a bit of banter, choking, creampie, manual stimulation.
a/n1: hi i haven't posted in a thousand years but here's my peace offering! a little birthday present for both yunho and me cause my birthday is tomorrow lol. hope you guys enjoy this, i wrote it in between work shifts🤠🤠.
a/n2: if you're wondering 'is this bitch ever gonna post the last chapter of 'the real ◜멋◝'..........yes, i will. i'm gonna quit one of my jobs actually cuz this shit's just too much for me. so it's gonna come pretty soon me thinks hihi. love you guys, stay safe! xoxoxo
"we should stop fucking around," you say as you let your hands travel down to his belt, doing their best to unbuckle it.
"why?" yunho asks, lips burrowed deep in the soft flesh of your neck.
his hands grip your hips roughly, pulling you closer to him and leaving no space for air to travel in between your heated bodies.
"hmm...maybe because you have a girlfriend?" you tease when your hands make their way into his boxers, stroking the already erect member. "a girlfriend that is my boss." you complete as you brush his sensitive head with your thumb, feeling how he jolts under your touch when he stops devouring your neck and opts in exhaling a groan.
"maybe you should find another job then, so we can keep fucking around without you worrying you'll get fired." the tall male stands straight as he looks into your eyes.
you scoff as you roll your eyes as a reply to his words. being a barista was one of the little things that brought you joy in your life. quitting, even for yunho, wasn't much of an option. of course, fucking your workmate (who also happened to be your boss's boyfriend) in the lunch breaks may be one of the things that makes the job more enjoyable, but still, your pride stands tall in the face of some things.
"or you could stop working for your girlfriend like a loser and make it better for both of us, right?" you sing-song into his ear as you hold a steady position on your tippy toes to reach it.
"oh, so i'm a loser?" he raises a brow as his gaze darkens when he pulls away to look into your eyes.
you already know what you've caused.
his strong arms turn you around quickly, pressing you against the wall in the bathroom, your hands are pulled away from inside his pants and you quickly place them on the cold tiled wall. he grabs them quickly, holding your wrists with one big hand behind your back, right above your ass, when he presses himself on you.
"let's make a bet," he says as he rubs his clothed dick on your ass, you exhale abruptly, excitement already building in your lower stomach when you feel him. "whoever cums first loses," yunho adds.
you anticipate his words with accuracy. working with yunho for six months, and fucking him in secret for three of them, you already know him well enough to make more than assumptions.
"we already know what the loser has to do, right?" he whispers in your ear as he uses his hand to roughly pull down your pants and leave your ass cheeks bare for his eyes.
somehow, every time you have sex with yunho feels like the first time. the same butterflies in your stomach, the same terrifying excitement that you are going to be caught any minute but every time, tenfold the pleasure you felt last time.
undoubtedly, you sometimes wonder if what gives yunho the amazingly desirable allure is the fact that he has a girlfriend, and that you feel like you are taking someone's toy away, and making it yours. but every time you remind yourself that you would've fucked yunho under any circumstances given.
you realized from the way his gaze always dropped down to your lips while you were talking, or from the way he was licking his own secretly whenever he watched you do your thing at the coffee machine that someday, somehow, there will be something between the two of you.
it was a pretty quiet day when it happened, not many costumers, not many things to do, so you both decided to clean the storage room. the problem was when you got down in front of him to tie your shoelace, and looked up to him with every ounce of lustful intention hidden behind your eyes. he hooked his index finger under your chin and brushed his thumb over your lips, and you realized that all the perverted jokes and insults you always threw at each other were already bloomed in both of you when he said "maybe you should stay there a little longer".
and you did stay there a little longer...and sucked his dick. something every respectable woman should do at least once in their life if they come in contact with yunho and his astonishing dick.
yunho's hand snaps you back into the present when it brushes over your ass cheek sweetly, squeezing it gently as he is contrasting the gesture by holding your wrists tighter. you feel him shuffle behind you as he pulls his own pants down, pulling out his dick and positioning himself better behind you so his head brushes over your entrance in a teasing manner, not rushing to get past the wet patch staining your panties
yunho was building it up inside of you so he could get you to cum in a matter of minutes, and the awareness of it brought adrenaline inside your veins.
"are you afraid you're gonna lose if you put it inside, big boy?" you tease on a superficial tone, almost sounding like you pity him.
the scoff you hear from behind you is enough to let you know that you're in for a good one, the more you teased yunho, the better he fucked you.
he pulls your panties to the side and pushes himself inside you swiftly, eliciting a too high pitched moan from you when he buries his whole member in the comfort of your throbbing hole. his girth stretches you deliciously and your warm walls embrace every inch of him as he starts thrusting in and out at a rather fast pace.
he positions himself so good behind you that his dick reaches your g-spot over and over again, making your back arch involuntarily, a silent way of your body begging for more.
"you feel so much better than she does." yunho groans in your ear and you moan loudly upon hearing his words, your core clenching with lust around yunho's cock at the same time your chest swells with pride. "so much tighter, wetter...you even taste sweeter, have i ever told you that?" he whispers in a tone filled with desire, snapping his hips harder into you and creating a rhythm that has you crying his name out loud.
his words help you realize just how seriously he takes this bet and you wish you would lose your hearing sense right then, so you could last longer in the entrapment yunho has made for you in between him and the rigid wall. the man's movements don't falter even for a second, his dick gloriously sliding in and out of you with an insatiable need to bury itself deeper in the velvety warmth of your pulsating walls.
the hand that was keeping your hands pinned in place suddenly disappears and you are quick to search for support with your palms against the wall when yunho's skilled fingers come in contact with your aching clit. the fingers you admired many times before as he was steaming the milk were now trying to milk an orgasm out of you. it seemed that cat got your tongue, how the feeling was so good that you couldn't even moan anymore, but desperately gasp like you were coming up for air from the bottom of the ocean.
yunho's wide chest comes in contact with your back as he kisses your temple, sliding his other hand upwards on your torso and wrapping around your throat. he pulls you towards him as he starts squeezing the air out of you, making you lean back on his chest as his hips roll into you slower, matching the pace of his finger on your clit.
when you woke up in a good mood today you didn't think it would get even better by yunho fucking you slowly in the bathroom.
even if all your senses are now being overwhelmed, you still realize that you would hate to lose any bet that involved yunho- so when you feel like the air enters your lungs slower as his grip tightens on your neck and his fingers draw unknown shapes on your clit, the only thing you can do is squeeze your walls as tight as you can, eliciting deep moans from him when his hips stutter at the same time you feel your high tip off the edge and fall down into a pit of dizzy pleasure that takes over your whole body. yunho's warm seed shoots inside of you right when you coat his cock with your own release and your body starts to tremble in his hold.
as if he feels your legs buckling beneath you, yunho hugs you from behind and holds you steadily, his member softening inside of you as he strokes your abdomen.
"did we just cum at the same time?" he asks raspily, and you smile with a little huff of air coming out your nose.
"yeah, we just did," you answer, patting his thigh behind you as he nuzzles his nose in your hair just behind your ear.
"who's gonna quit then?" you ask after a few seconds, reminding yourself of the bet and what the loser had to give up.
the problem was that you were both losers now.
"i think we're gonna have to try that again and find out." yunho answers with a sly voice.
well, there are still fifteen minutes left of that lunch break, right?
genre: ceo! san, assistant! reader, smut, angst??, fluff???, weird 'fwb to strangers to secret lovers to who knows what comes next' type of relationship
word count: 7.3k
warnings: !!!cheating!!! (which i do not condone or think it's right in any way, shape or form but yk...it still happens), fingering, slight hair pulling, slight degradation, pet names, oral (m receiving), creampie, deepthroat.
a/n: dude EVERYTIME i write i start with an idea and end up doing the complete opposite. this was supposed to be the lewdest most shameful thing ever and i ended up making it......sweet&cheesy. i hate it here. but i still like how it turned out. san has been on my mind a lot lately, but can you blame me? anyways, i hope u guys enjoy this and as always, stay safe!!!! xoxo
"you asked for me?" your soft voice fills the cold room, question bouncing off the walls and into the man's ears.
you did not dare take more than a few steps into his office and yet, the feeling of the room swallowing you up whole was already present. you couldn't quite digest the symmetry of it all- the mahogany desk (big enough to serve as a dining room table to a small family) that was paired perfectly with the same colored floor, the old oil paintings that you never got around understanding the meaning of, the big windows that were on each side of the wall you were facing, the black leathered desk chair fitted exactly in between the two windows making it so every time you entered, san would stand in a soft shadow casted by the back of the chair and over his suited form, making you feel like you were met by the fallen angel at the very gates of hell.
each of these details carefully crafted to perfection, which also perfectly bothered the shit out of you.
"close the door."
you find yourself acting immediately to his order, more of an instinct to follow it than any actual desire to do so. your body carries itself smoothly to the door and you slowly close it before turning back on your feet and resuming your place and position. he's leaned over the desk, supporting his weight on his arms as he studies closely the many sheets laid out on the wood surface. his tailor fitted jacket resting on the back of his chair, sleeves of the dress shirt rolled up to just beneath his elbows and black hair slicked back-san was the epitome of how a ceo should look...in movies, at least.
but if you were being honest, he was more dashingly handsome than any of the actors that you've ever seen on screen.
"only a man in love or a fool would not see all the mistakes here, which one do you take me for?" he demands to know, voice sounding a bit too rough for your liking. maybe you could somehow lighten the mood to make up for your mistake.
"well, one is pretty much the other, right?" you say jokingly with an awkward giggle. he fixates you with his piercing gaze, rising it from the pages on his desk. your blood goes cold in an instant as you play with your hands behind your back thinking of how your attempt couldn't have been any worse.
sometimes you seem to forget who san really is. that even though the lines have been crossed a long time ago and in a sort of manner which would (most of the times) allow you to make such comments, the relationship between you two chose to defy any of the standards that were implied by anything deemed socially normal.
to put it shortly, even though he was the man you were having an affair with, san still held the title of your boss, and he took his job very seriously. that is if you were to forget all the times you were sitting on his desk with your legs spread out and his head in between them.
"i don't think you're in love, no." you answer shaking your head shortly. way to make things even worse!
he cocks his head to one side as he raises an eyebrow, still maintaining eye contact when all you want is to avoid it. his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he straightens his position, visibly annoyed at what your answer is implying.
he scans you from head to toe, his mastery at poker face helping him not divulge any of the thoughts inside his mind, and you're stuck like a deer caught in headlights, not being able to move and definitely not being able to process the situation completely.
funnily enough, you remember the times when the roles were inversed.
way back in college days when san used to have a crush on you, he would use your current stance on a daily basis. always tampering with the fine line between friendliness and complete and utter awkwardness whenever he talked to you, not being able to concentrate on a subject for more than two minutes.
you gave in at some point, he liked you and you also liked him back, even though it was not in the exact same way he did. the thing lacking was not chemistry, but a certain kind of agreement as he wanted a something you weren't ready to offer-commitment. so you made it clear from the beginning that if there could be a relationship between the two of you, it would be a strictly physical one-no strings attached. he agreed but couldn't last for long, confessing his feelings were growing stronger after only a couple of months, so you agreed to break it off and hang out as friends, but that didn't last too much either seeing how the awkwardness of the past events would float in the air every time you would meet. in your head you labeled it all as "right person, wrong time".
san was completely different now. much more passion burning inside his eyes, more perseverance and definitely more sex experience. he won't take no as an answer now, not that he insisted too much for you to fall victim to his new charms. if you were to be honest, you threw yourself right into his arms. which made everything even worse.
it took you three days to write your wedding vows. you forgot them in three seconds in the presence of san.
"you're funny today." he says as he calls you over with his index finger. you hesitantly walk to the front of his desk but after seeing the unpleased look on his face, you realize that's not what he meant. you stroll around the big furniture piece, coming to his side but leaving a respectable amount of space between the two of you. ok, up to this point it's great self control.
you try not to inhale too much of his beautifully intoxicating cologne, for it would only make you relive all the sins you committed with the man next to you. but it's impossible to not breathe as your heart starts beating so fast around him when your gaze lingers on his veiny forearm and his splayed palm on the desk as he leans on it, turning slightly over to face you.
"let's skip over the small talk and just tell me why you didn't correct this report before sending it to me." it was nice of him to assume that. it showed you he was aware of your capabilities of never allowing any mistake to slither in between the rows. only for today, when you send it in, you took your chances in thinking that the person who wrote it might be a little better than this. seems like they weren't.
"i was late." you replied, looking into his eyes with a knowing look only to be met by a mocking one. yeah, you prick, i was late because you were fucking me in the backseat of your fucking rolls royce last night. but all of that is conveyed in a nice spoken "sorry, won't happen again."
he scoffs while looking down at the sheets, not even bothering to pinpoint any of the mistakes, all too knowing that if you would've opened it, there wouldn't be any. instead, he looks back to you, straightening up completely to look you in the eyes. although he was not much taller, san always made a point when he looked down to you, making it seem like the difference between the two of you was like the one from sky to ground.
"i thought we already established that we won't let our relationship interfere with our jobs," he whispered in a low voice, placing his cold hand on your jaw as he took enough steps towards you so your body was stuck against his and the wooden edge of the desk. the walls started to cave in as you looked into his eyes, the feeling of helplessness taking over you once again as his his pressed into yours.
"has any of that changed?" san asks curiously as his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, giving you shivers all along your spine. he smiles smugly at the sight of you quivering before him.
the quiet buzzing snaps you out of it. saved by the bell, you think to yourself just before
san reaches behind you, his freckled neck right in front of your face as he slides his hand into the back pocket of your pants, pulling out your phone. in the daze you were trapped in, you haven't even realized it was your phone that was ringing. he splits himself from you, taking a close look at the screen.
"uh-oh," san dramatically exclaims as a low chuckle leaves his throat. "you might wanna get this." he adds, turning the phone's screen towards you.
your face flushes red when your heart starts beating alarmingly fast in your chest. in some way or another, when you read your husband's name on the screen, you feel like you're finally caught in the act. that the moment you dread most is occurring right here and now. you reach for the phone in his hand and try to slide yourself away from the entrapment but san rapidly places his hands on your hips, pinning you down on the desk behind you as he raises his eyebrows expectantly. you're silently thankful for his act of placing you on the wooden surface, for the devilish grin on his face in combination with the realization of what he was actually asking would've made your legs give up on you.
you want to oppose him but you can't, you don't. it feels so wrong and yet so right, exactly how you would describe the relationship in between the two of you.
"hi, babe!" you say cheerfully, trying to mask away all the emotions that were nipping at your brain in the moment.
your husband's voice greets you from the other end of the phone, telling you things that are far from reaching your ears when san unzips your pants, sliding them down until the middle of your thighs, making sure your panties were accompanying the garment. you watch in shock, unable to move any muscle as his palm cups your heat, fingers going straight to your aching clit. your breath slows down as your heart rate builds in pace, making your body hot all over. his moves terrorize you even more when he slides two digits inside you, dragging them against your walls with slow, thought out moves. would it have gotten here if it weren't for your husband's call? was this his plan all along or was he just trying to prove a point?
"are you okay?" you hear your husband ask when you try to mask your whimper as a pathetic attempt to clear your throat.
"yeah, 'm good." you need everything in your power to respond to him. san only looks back to you with a smirk on his face, knowing exactly how good you feel.
"are you gonna be held up today? or can i start making dinner when i get home?" the voice from the other end says once again and you almost cry thinking about how you are betraying the man you swore yourself too in any way, shape or form. not only because of the infidelity that is happening right now, with san knuckle deep inside you, but with how you don't stop, how you don't want to go home after this. what would your husband think at this show of unfaithfulness you're displaying for him to hear if he would just be a little more attentive? would he be able to forgive you? would he be able to work towards things to be the same? maybe it's not too late for you to start seeking redemption.
"yeah, i'm gonna come home right after work." you manage to get out, only to be met by san's defying gaze and even more defying actions as he slides his curled up fingers deeper inside you, reaching a sweet spot he loved to caress every time he got his hands on you. you immediately jolt, removing your phone from your ear and stretching your hand as far as possible as you release a frustrated moan through your bitten lip. san leans forward and kisses your neck, still continuing his hand movements, building up your high with every gentle stroke of his fingers.
"better let him know your dinner plans." san whispers, hot breath fanning over your neck as his lips latch to it once again. you take a deep breath, trying not to let yourself too captivated in the moment as you stick the phone back to your ear.
"actually i think i have an extra project that i'll have to stay for a little while and finish." you weren't sure about the little while part. san's vibrations tickle the sensitive skin of your neck as he hums in approval upon hearing your answer. "i'm sorry." the regret can be felt in your voice way more than usual, apologizing for something way bigger than a late day at work. only if your husband knew it.
your mind was trapped between the feelings of remorse and pleasure. once again you have fallen victim to your lust and greed. once again the man in front of you has made you reach a new point of absolute shame in your life.
"don't worry, i'll see you at home, ok?"
"yeah," and for the next words you say, tears form in your eyes as you come to the realization that you speak them out to not arise any suspicion than feeling the need to actually say them. like this pressure of pretending that everything is still the same between the two of you, you muffle a quiet "i love you."
"love you too, bye bye." and with that, the disconnected tone plays in your ear.
fuck, you think as san drags his head up and looks into your teary eyes, retreating his fingers from inside you, leaving you hungry for your release, but given the situation, not enough to beg him to offer it to you. somehow, seeing you this vulnerable in front of him makes a new expression take over his features, one that almost reads pity. almost, being a keyword in this.
"oh, come on, doll," he sneers as he cups your face, using both of his thumbs to wipe the salty tears off your cheeks. "it's not like it's the first time you're doing this." emphasis on you're, because in truth, san wasn't really doing much to influence you on doing what you alone decided on taking initiative for. it all started and ended with you, therefore you were the only one to blame for all of this. but it was the first time you were doing this. making your husband unconsciously take part in his own betrayal. you didn't know what made you cry exactly. was it the part that you were cheating on him or the part that you had the audacity to pretend that you weren't?
"meet me in the parking lot after you're done." san adds as he helps pull your panties and pants up, dismissing you with the same two fingers that were inside you after he makes sure you look exactly as you did when you walked inside his horrific office.
this would be the last time.
or at least that's what you tell yourself to have some sort of mental peace. the option of stopping right now, going home and not fueling the inappropriate relationship between you and your boss is, of course, on the table. but you didn't bother giving it any thought before, why do it now?
your feet carry the rest of your body to his car, and you eagerly look inside, only to find no sight of him. you lean on the hood of his expensive car, silently drowning your mind in the reliving of your earlier actions, thinking if there would really ever be forgiveness for you. you wish to feel bad about it but for the most part of it, you don't.
"get in, we're going to my place." you hear his all too familiar voice from behind as you turn around. startled not only by the sudden impact of his strong echo in the quiet atmosphere of the dim lit parking lot, but by what exactly he was stating as well. that was a line you never crossed before.
there were the multiple times in his office, the occasional times in his car and the few times in hotel rooms but never have you invaded the other's personal space. that was a thing you both silently agreed on, just so to not complicate things even more than you already did.
he opened the back door first, throwing his suit jacket on the backseat and then climbed right into the driver's seat, looking at you through the window. still baffled by his earlier words, you get inside the car with careful movements, furtherly avoiding his burning gaze as best as you can by securing your seatbelt and looking out the window. you don't even know when you arrive, even for a short ride to his house, being lost in your overwhelming thoughts made you not memorize even a single thing from the outside world you were passing by.
as you step out of the vehicle, you come face to face with a big body of architecture. his house was white, modernized by wide windows that went from the floor to the ceiling letting you see all the insides of the house. of course san would choose this type of exposure. he was quite the exhibitionist, after all, even though his nearest neighbor was at least half a mile away.
you feel his hand occupying space on the small of your back, pushing you in the direction of the entrance as he walks beside you. you let him coordinate your every move, your mind still being half absent as it debated again whether this was an appropriate thing to do or not.
funny how you thought going to his house wasn't a proper thing to do, but you never took more than two seconds to suck his cock whenever you got a chance. your morality compass was really fucked up, wasn't it?
but of course, it was not this simple. the visit in question was not just a simple visit, it implied more than that and you weren't even thinking about physical aspect of it all but of the emotional one. of why san would want to bring you into his safe space and let you see the side of him that you should not see. that you shouldn't feel so curious to find out about now that the choice to do so lies within your grasp. but you do, and that is just one of the thousand of reasons for you to feel guilty later.
"welcome!"
you think you're going crazy when you sense actual excitement in his voice, a thin thread of it braided in between the coldness of his speech. the interior of the house surprises you by not mirroring the inside of his office. the atrocity of the room you have found yourself in before was of no liking to the house you stepped inside. strong scent of bubblegum air freshener hit your nostrils from the first few steps you took in the direction of the pretty black and white pictures hung on the walls. taking a closer look you manage to see each one of them had a date and san's name on the left bottom corner, good to see he still held on to his hobbies.
he walked over to the open space kitchen, leaving you to study the art and you did with utmost interest until you turned your attention to the living room, gazing over the fireplace and the couch that, to be fair, was way too big for someone who lived alone and spent most of his days at work or fucking you in who knows what odd place.
"let me show you around," his voice sounds from next to you. you turn around to be met by san holding two bottles of the shittiest beer you used to drink in college days. it also happens to be, to this day, your favorite one.
"you just...had this lying around?" you scoff as a sudden smile takes over your features, taking the bottle of beer held towards you from his warm grasp as you follow him down a spacious hall.
sipping from it awakes so many moments that you worry you may start feeling melancholic. it's been so long since the bitter liquid enchanted your buds that you forgot just how it tasted. san mimics your gesture, drinking a good amount of the drink in the recipient and swallowing with a loud satisfied sound as he looked at you.
"it was your favorite, right?"
you nod, letting yet another sip flow into your mouth and down your throat.
"you never had too good of a taste, did you?" he asks again and you can't help but roll your eyes, a chuckle being forcefully stolen from your lungs as you slap his bicep. takes you by surprise how he smiles too, like being in the comfort of his own home finally allows him to take off his mask. his dimples are still as beautiful as ever, making you stare at him while he stares everywhere except you.
he gives a few details about every room you enter and you try to remember the same amount about each one, be it the plushie that rests atop the chair in his study or the entire collection of videogames he keeps displayed, they all fulfill their mission of reminding you who san used to be-who he still is, if you would've ever bothered to look through the draconian facade he prefers to display nowadays.
"...and finally, this is the master bedroom." he says before swinging open the door to the only room that rests at the end of a set of white marble stairs. you follow in his steps, walking inside the room and scanning the tidiness of the space, covers laid up neatly on the bed situated in the middle of the room, framed by two sturdy nightstands on each side; a white rug adorning the expensive beauty of the dark nuanced floorboards. once again you come in contact with a framed photo on the wall facing the bed, only now you seem to recognize the jacket that the person in the focus point is wearing.
the first question that comes to mind is 'when did he even take this?' but two more seconds of analyzing and you remember; the sunny day at the lake, when he so much insisted on going on a walk when you suggested to just go to his apartment and get on with your needs. leaning over a fence, wind brushing the hair off your face as you looked left at a family of ducks that swam cutely in the bright water-there you were, in all your unaware glory of living the peaceful moment, realizing that sex with san might not be the only activity that you enjoyed doing. if only you wouldn't have been such a coward back then, to let your feelings grow for a man that was more than capable to fill in the position in which you imagined him so many times.
you were young. love scared you. but not more than it did now.
"i still have the jacket."
you find that these words are the only ones that seem adequate of speaking. san huffs from somewhere behind you, struggling to pull something out of a drawer, choosing to ignore your words as if they would connect him back to a time in his life he long had chosen to forget but to no avail, and seeing the picture of you every night before he fell asleep surely didn't help either.
"i was thinking we could try something new today."
his voice snaps you out of your trance and you turn to him, cringing at the sight of him wearing a proud smile as he holds a bottle of lube high up in his hands.
"i'm not having anal with you."
your words only make him shake his head in disapproval as he sighs and looks down, eyes searching around the room for words to articulate his thoughts. a completely different side of the one he showed in the office, one that you're not sure you've seen way before you worked for him either. if back then he would just say whatever was on his mind, now it was the complete opposite. he picked his words carefully, making sure each one had it's own weight to it.
"god, it always has to be sex with you, doesn't it?" and the soft, slightly disappointed tone in his voice makes you wonder if he refers to how things used to be between the two of you in the past, rather than how they are now. now it was established that something emotional between you was far off the table but back then...back then you knew that thinking you broke his heart was not much of a stretch. he practically begged you to give him a chance on your last night together, a chance for something more, something better.
you didn't do it. too scared of what it might mean, too afraid that you're going to drown if you were to swim in those sorts of uncharted waters. to say that it kept you awake some nights would be an understatement.
"i want you to give me a massage, y/n. my back hurts." he states as he looks you in the eyes and you sigh in relief at the stupidity of the situation, feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you nod your head in agreement, trying to hush away your shame as if it were obvious that you already knew that.
containing yourself around san was clearly something you were never good at. especially when he laid underneath you without a shirt on, each of your thighs straddling the sides of his narrow waist as you were pouring the cold oil over his naked back. your hands found occupation quickly, spreading the liquid over the entire exposed area in front of you, spending extra time on his wide shoulders. you kneaded his muscles with smooth movements, applying pressure in points you knew would be in need of. he didn't hold back any of his groans or satisfied moans that were stumbling out of his mouth as a result of you working hard and in silence to loosen his muscles. your fingers massaged his shoulders slowly, making sure not to neglect his nape or his lower back when you were draping your fists along the longitude of his spine.
choi san was the embodiment of temptation; the warmth he was radiating in combination with the glow of his golden skin veiling the muscles of his back and his godly moans were playing a certain number on you, making you wish your legs wouldn't be splayed out the way they are right now. the touch you were providing him-you were providing yourself, was definitely to no help in stopping the heat that you felt was pooling between your legs, somewhat afraid that it might actually leak through your panties, pants as well, and onto his naked back.
"you might want to consider a career change," his voice somehow sleepy upon saying the words, revealing the relaxation he was feeling thanks to you. "you're surprisingly good at this." he continues as you concentrate on your palms flowing smoothly over the sides of his torso. "let me do it too." the man adds as he taps your hip.
you remove yourself from him, kneeling on the bed as you watch patiently how he rises up, mirroring your position.
"are you gonna..." his words trail off as he points his index finger to your top in a quick motion of up and down
"oh! ye..yeah!" you awkwardly exclaim in the realization that for this to work, you have to shed any layer of clothing that dares hide your chest from the beautiful man in front of you.
san pays close attention to how you swiftly remove your garment, hands going around your back to unhook your bra as you let it fall to the floor, laying on your tummy as fast as you can. feeling his gaze on you times and times before is to no help when you come to face with the act again. there was always something about how san looked at you, through star sprinkled eyes filled with adoration and curiosity, that made your heart feel heavy as it beat in your chest and your head feel airy in the same exact measure.
he climbs on top of you, making sure not to support his weight fully on your lower back as he squirts the oily essence on your bare skin, warm supple fingers spreading it with soft movements. it was his turn to snatch satisfied groans from you as his hands were carefully pinching large spots of the skin of your shoulders, massaging away all the tense knots in their way.
"do you love him?"
it's almost like a hit to the gut, really. like all the stress he massaged away had come back in a second only from a few words. never before has san asked such question, maybe because he was terrified of the answer or just because he thought you might not even bother to answer at all. and his cowardice in doing so has prevented you to imagine such scenarios in your head, excluding the option of you not batting an eye to his words and preparing an answer to his question.
"yes." a short whisper, filled with skepticism nevertheless.
how much of the love you held for your husband was still true? how much of it was deep affection rather than the familiarity established in both of your lives along the years? how much of it was a lie?
"not enough to not cheat on him, it seems." you continue after a while under the same whispery tone. it sounds almost sad to your ears, hopeless, or more fittingly, disappointed in your own actions. the ones you couldn't stop despite the awareness of your wrongdoings. you liked to think that your husband hid the same dirty secret from you, questioning your trust in him just so you wouldn't be the villain of the story and him, a martyr wronged by the person he blindly chose to spend the rest of his life with.
"leave him."
his tone is determined, committed entirely to the sacrifice he is asking for, like he spent more than a few times imagining himself in the situation you were in. he stops abruptly from caressing your back with his strong hands and opts in lying on his back right next to you as he lets out a heavy sigh, looking to the ceiling.
"just leave him and come stay here, we both know you'd be happier." the slight shakiness in his tone revealing just how unsure he is with his statement. maybe he is right, but even if he is, how long will it last? you were happy at the beginning of your marriage as well but much of that dissipated way before anything started with the man next to you. will happiness with san last forever? could he grant that to you?
"i can't,"
short and true, which seems to break his heart when he turns his face towards yours. his eyes show more emotion than they ever did before, allowing you to peek into his soul and see the fragment that has never left him-the young man who was still in love with you no matter how much he tried to deny or forget. the one who still wanted more of you even though you already offered him had a big part of yourself.
back then, and still now, you gave yourself to san only physically but what he craved was way beyond that.
"you know that i can't."
'but you can' you imagine him saying it, but he doesn't, being well aware of the complexity of it all. you never weighed the option, for it was never given to you.
but now that it finally laid in front of you, considering it might be a dangerous game to play, only because you were afraid that the decision you might take would turn out to be completely detrimental for your current relationship, which you tried so hard to protect-to shield or rather, to hold on to.
san's hand comes into your field of vision and one delicate index finger brushes your cheek gently as he sighs deeply one more time.
"you haven't changed one bit," he begins a whisper, looking into your wide eyes with an emotion you can't quite pinpoint. "everyday i look at you and you're just the same as i met you. everyday you take my breath away and the fact that i can't have that just for me- that you won't allow me to...it fucking kills me." his words would suggest that he's angry but his eyes, his voice- they prove you otherwise. he speaks from a place of hopelessness somehow, like he lost all his chances.
fragments of his current behavior were shown to you in your previous meetings, but they were much more toned down in the forms of innocent whispered compliments at work or loving praise during sex where you were too blinded by the pleasure to give it any thought. however, his blatant confession still surprised you in some way, more because you didn't expect it to happen rather than not knowing of it's roots.
"you haven't changed either," you manage to finally get out, trying to move the spotlight away from you. "a part of me thought you did until today, but seeing your house, seeing the pictures..." it's all so hard to speak into existence between deep breaths and loud heartbeats. "...seeing you. i realize that you're still the same man, only better. and it kills me too, the fact that i didn't give you a chance way back then. but now, san it's...it's so complicated." you sigh again, your eyes not leaving his for a moment. you were no longer playing crushes at this point in your life. these were real people, real decisions and even realer emotions that you were talking about.
"i know that you think i can't even fathom what you feel. what i said was not meant to add to your pressure, it was just...an intent to make you see how things could be. that if you think you're not happy with him anymore, you could try that with someone else. even if it's not me. i just...i want to see you happy."
it takes san a lot of convincing to say the next words.
"that's why we can't keep this going. i see how it's eating you from the inside out every day and i hate it. i think that, for everyone's sake, you should make a decision after today."
his hand still on your cheek now brushes a tear away. you knew it would get to this at some point, but it hurt more than you imagined before. of course, not to the point where you would feel heartbroken but also not too far from that. his words are sweeter than what you expected from the man, making your heart tremble upon realizing that, for the first time in a long while, you were being seen. that san so easily picked up on what your husband has decided to ignore- or not pay attention to, all together.
...if you're not happy with him anymore...
would it have ever gotten to this point if you were happy? would you ever try to find what you were lacking in the arms of another man if you were given in return exactly what you were offering? you highly doubt that.
the problem was that now, you found what you were lacking and even more. a kind of connection that you and your partner couldn't establish before. an understanding that ran deeper than words, one that found itself in the mere look into each other's eyes. or at least that's what you think in your half enamored brain.
you support your weight on your elbows as you drag yourself closer to his body. if this could potentially be the last time, might as well make it one worth remembering.
you say nothing as you press your lips down on his, nipping at his bottom lip until he gives you access into the warmth of his mouth. your tongues swirl around each other, a well known dance learned in the nights when you chose to be held in arms that you shouldn't have craved. his warm hand takes ahold of the back of your head, pressing you further into the kiss that was slowly becoming a messy mix of clashing teeth and heavy breaths.
san's hands are quick to pull you over him, immediately going to unzip your pants after you're placed in between his strong thighs. even though it just left your skin, you find yourself craving his touch badly, making it harder for you to go along with your plan. using every bit of convincing on your mind, you follow your steps and drag your body down, placing open mothed kisses on his chest, abs and down to his pelvic bone as you rid him of his fancy pants.
left only in his black boxers, san struggles to keep a steady breath as he watches you kiss his sensitive tip through the thin material. you look up to him as you pull the garment off, his dick now free of the confines of his boxer only to find itself in the confines of your mouth. no second wasted from your part as you got to work immediately, placing his tip on your tongue and tracing it slowly with your wet muscle, following by licking long stripes from the base of his length back to the tip, placing your lips around it as you took him into the wetness of your mouth. bobbing your head in agonizingly slow movements, his tip brushed softly against the back of your throat every time your nose would bury itself in his pelvic area.
san's groans were nothing short of delightful for your ears, making you sloppily deepen his dick inside your throat. his dick was one of the few things you couldn't get tired of, its delicious taste ghosted your mouth for days on end every time you performed the outrageous act on the man. he grabs your hair into one fist, guiding your head at a faster pace than what you set in the beginning until he stops your motions entirely and begins thrusting deep inside your mouth while holding your head in place.
feeling him smack against your throat was exquisite, leaving many of the thirsts inside you quenched as tears slowly slid down your cheeks and with one strong pull of your hair, san groaned as he threw his head back, trying very hard not to cum. you gasped for air, wiping all the drool on your chin with the back of your hand while san was trying to rise his back off the mattress.
you placed your hands on his chest immediately, pushing him back into the pillows, communicating to him with the help of lustful looks as you undressed yourself of your pants. you climbed on top of him for the second time tonight and yes, him facing up with a hard dick in between your legs was definitely the preferred option. you held his length up with one hand, aligning his tip with your wet warm entrance as you slowly slid down on his erect member.
moans stumbling out both of your mouths as you laced the fingers of one of your hands with his, placing the other one on his shiny chest while his opted out to stroke your hip.
in all your times fucking san you found out that riding him was one of your favorite things to do, all thanks to his dick that was shaped perfectly for this position. you felt him fill out every crevice inside your velvety walls as his veiny shaft was coming in and out of you with every lift of your hips.
"holy fuck," he exhales through gritted teeth as he tightens his hold on your hand.
"tell me baby, does he get to see your tits bounce around like i do when you ride my cock like a little slut?" he sneers as he cups one of your breasts, fondling your nipple in between his thumb and index finger. shame makes your head dizzy and your body even hotter against his, but all his degrading words only fuel your selfish wish to get off by riding his beautiful girth.
"no," you answer, every ounce of common sense leaving your body as you smack your ass harder against him, feeling his dick fucking deep inside you, making you throw your head back in pleasure when it hits that sweet spot.
"and he might not get the chance to." you add through whimpers as you look down into his eyes, brain too fuzzy now to comprehend the weight of your words. he grins as he throws his head back again, sliding his hand down your torso until it meets your sensitive clit, rubbing it deftly.
"san-i'm...close." you cry under his touch, pressing harder into his hand, still locked with yours.
"me too, baby." he admits with an airy tone.
you press your lips to his, moaning into his mouth as sweet release leaves your body, spreading it all over his length as you don't stop grinding against him. with the help of your walls tightening around him, san spills right after you-painting your insides with his seed for the first time since you met.
maybe tonight you finally gave yourself to him in a completely different manner than you did before.
he hums into your mouth and you swear you can taste the undertones of his satisfaction as he holds you tightly to his chest, lovingly caressing your scalp as he continues kissing you, delving his tongue into every corner of your mouth. you slowly drag your weight off of him, taking your place next to him, lying face up just as he does.
a wide smile takes over your features as you look to your side, seeing san adorning his now disheveled hair and sweaty forehead. his eyes were closed as his chest rose in tandem with yours, trying to regain the rhythm of before both of your orgasms washed over you. he turns his head to you, mirroring your expression. you study closely as his dimples dent his cheeks, a single drop of sweat sliding down from his brow to his temple. still the most beautiful man that you ever laid eyes on.
"i love fucking you." you state through your smile while brushing the trail of sweat off.
"i fucking love you." he says back, the glimmer in his eyes more honest than ever before. and it makes it clear for you; where you want to be, where you should be, and who you should be with.
who you should've been with from the beginning.
this is the last time you would cheat, you think to yourself.
not to help you sleep better at night this time, but because starting with tomorrow it will no longer count as that.
warnings: dirty talk, pet names, double penetration, cum eating, safe sex, slight degradation?, voyeurism, handcuffs, oral sex(f giving).
authors note: y'all don't know how i ACTUALLY debated naming this jingle balls only to fit into the aesthetic with the other fics. but it sounded silly so i stuck with this. anyway christmas present from me to you, hope you guys enjoy! have a nice christmas! xoxo
"wait, i thought you guys were gay." you say, voice coming out a bit stunned upon what you just heard.
"labeling in the year of 2021? so old fashioned." wooyoung huffed as he dismissed you with his hand.
"see woo this is exactly why she thought we were gay." his partner added. san always was the more aware half of him. they were as different from one another as they could come. one was at the bottom of the deepest ocean and the other at the highest peak, but sometimes, shores would find themselves at the foot of the mountains. and for them it worked that way. together they painted a landscape you didn't see in any other relationship quite yet.
"we just asked you to join us in bed and that's the first thing at the top of your head?" san completes as he turns his head to you.
"you better humble yourselves, queers, it's not the first time i've been asked to a threesome." you say throwing a smug smile their way. their heads jolt in surprise.
"oh?" san exclaims.
"you? in a threesome?" wooyoung teases as he points his index finger your way, moving it up and down.
"jeez, i thought you were a nice girl and we were gonna corrupt you with our dirty little minds." the same man added as he smirked your way.
"oh, it wouldn't be my first rodeo." you open up, saying it like you just told them what you ate for breakfast. back when you had breakfast you wouldn't had thought that this is the reason why they would ask you over for coffee and chatting.
"what i'm hearing is that you want to ride one of us." san shrugs as he crosses his arms, looking over to you expectantly with his brow arched. his lover starts laughing as he slaps him on the arm, the high pitched sound resembling a fox's laugh. you feel the blood rush to your face as you direct your attention into the coffee mug, quickly drinking some of the hot liquid.
"oh, look at her, san. she wouldn't be able to take both of us, not even in a thousand years." wooyoung sings into his ear, as he sneers to you. he knew how to play with someone's pride, this wooyoung. you haven't known him for such a long time, but you often found yourself wondering how much joy he actually got from antagonizing everyone around him, including san. and especially san.
"you haven't heard my answer yet." maybe you should think about it more, but you don't. it doesn't sound that bad, having a threesome with them. now that you give yourself permission to look at them in a kind of way you haven't before, due to how you sincerely thought that you weren't on the spectrum of people they would be interested into, you found them not half bad. sure you found them beautiful before, but now you found them attractive. each one of them in different ways.
san was more on the rough side, his hair black and slicked back, his jaw sharp and posture always one that demanded obeying, thanks to his broad shoulders. his narrow eyes always reminded you of a fox, just as wooyoung's laugh did. he emanated power every time he entered a room.
wooyoung, on the other hand, adorned brown hair with blond streaks, parted in the middle, always fluffy. he reminded you of a cat, ever the one to annoy and to do and say as he pleases. he loved the bickering, the foreplay he did on the daily with every little mouse he could get his hands on. and for him, everyone was a mouse.
"so is that a yes?" wooyoung asks as san looks at him, and over to you again.
"depends on when you wanna do it." you reply effortlessly.
"well, what plans do you have for christmas?" san interrogates as he props his arms on the table in between you, leaning forward into it.
"none, really. i'm trapped in between work days so i can't do much." you answer. they make eye contact and give each other a smile. one that told you this has been talked times over again.
"then you won't mind helping me give this one a christmas gift, would you?" the same man asks once again as he signals to his partner with his head. wooyoung laughs like a little kid who has finally got his candy.
you made it clear that you won't buy them anything for christmas and yet you still did. they said your presence would be enough of a gift in itself, but you didn't want to witness the awkwardness of showing up empty handed. so why are you feeling anxious as you stay at their front door? it might be that the nice lingerie you put on makes you feel kind of like a fool, or the shot of tequila you drank home to find some courage went straight to your head. a thousand thoughts go through your mind as you remain frozen. you wanted to do it and it build up so bad in the course of the couple of days that had passed since you talked to them, that you didn't know how much you could take it. you didn't know where the sudden desire came from. maybe it was the lack of sexual intercourse you were having, or maybe the idea was so inciting that it made you crave them more than you ever thought you'd crave two dudes in a relationship.
but why doubt anything now? you've thought it through and through every night before bed since then, and you came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with a bit of messing around. even if it was with a couple. even if they were your friends. so you finally pressed the doorbell.
"hell..oh!" san's greeting turns into an exclamation as he opens the door. "you look gorgeous!" he adds as he leans to kiss you on the cheek, right when you enter their home. the dress you decided to wear was one of your nicest ones. if you were to admit, you put more thought than usual into what to wear today than you ever did before when you ever went by theirs, so hearing his words brought joy to your heart.
"come in! dinner's ready." you hear wooyoung's voice from the kitchen. you follow the man's instruction and walk behind san into the dining room as you hand him the gift bag.
"merry christmas! hope it suits your tastes." you say with a laugh as san looks into the bag. wooyoung makes his appearance from the kitchen, untying his apron.
"a gift!" he shrieks as he comes bouncing next to his partner. san pulls out the bottle of, way too expensive, cabernet and smiles. you take in both of their forms, both dressed exquisitely nice in dress shirts and black trousers. san opted for an all black look, shirt buttoned all the way up, a beautiful red velvet tie around his neck. wooyoung on the other hand, a white dress shirt, leaving a few cheeky buttons undone to expose his beautiful shimmery chest. ever the opposites.
"well, this definitely suits my taste." he says, thanking you afterwards. looking into the bag as well, wooyoung pulls the next item faster than you'd ever seen him move. a pair of handcuffs decorated with red fur all around.
"and this definitely suits mine." wooyoung adds as he throws a quick knowing glance to you, and then turns to san, kissing him softly on the lips.
dinner goes on smoothly. the men make flirtatious comments from time to time, at which you respond greatly, to your own surprise. but as wooyoung gets up to clean the table half an hour later after eating dessert, you're taken by surprise when san leans forward into your side, placing a hand on your exposed thigh, slightly supporting himself as his mouth comes to level with your ear. he brushes the hair that frames your face, warm fingers grazing slowly along the skin of your neck.
"you didn't hear it from me, but wooyoung kind of wants us to put on a show for when he comes back." he whispers into your ear on a seductively low tone. you get shivers along your spine at the thought of it, your pussy already clenching around the nothingness presented before it. maybe it's the arousal, or the wine that you gifted to the pair that ended down everyone's throats, but you find yourself reacting upon the sudden piece of courage that you feel and you climb into san's lap.
"then we should put on a good show, right?" san nods and pulls you closer as he kisses you with fervour. the thought that wooyoung could come in at any time and find you two this way makes a pool in between your legs as you start rubbing yourself on san's thigh. his hands find a hold of your ass, slowly pulling up the dress you chose for the night.
"i'll be the one fucking you tonight, darling." he says close to your ear as he drags you along the length of his muscular thigh. "but you'll have to take care of my pretty boyfriend in other ways." san adds, mouth going straight for the exposed skin of your neck, softly biting marks and kissing along the way to your chest. a moan escapes your lips as tension starts to float around the room, encapturing the both of you in its spell.
"let's take this to the room, shall we?" san asks but gives you no time to answer as he rises from his seat with you still glued to him. you cross your legs behind his waist as he holds you steadily, walking through the hall that seems to have grown hotter. his nails on your exposed thighs dig deep into your flesh, making sure to leave marks for you to relive the things you're going to do for at least a few days after today.
san gently lays you on the bed, remaining on top of you for a few seconds before dragging his body off you. he lifts up your dress, helping you get it off your body. san's soft fingers brush on your skin tormentingly slow, taking their time on the soft skin of your breasts, and the curves of your hips. he studies your lingerie with hunger in his beautiful small eyes.
"he's gonna love your set. might ask you to borrow it for himself." san says as he pinches one of your nipple through the black lace. you squint and mentally laugh at his remarks. he kisses you again, massaging your breasts, his other hand traveling up on the inside of your thigh. he cups your clothed core smirking against your lips. he moves your panties to the side and gathers your slickness on his middle finger and you shudder at the sensation.
"and we were thinking we're going to be the ones excited." san whisper as he retreats his finger from you and sucks it hungrily. you stand in awe watching his action, one that makes him a hundred times hotter, and you a hundred times wetter. he smiles seeing you as you bite your lip, kissing you sloppily once again so you can taste yourself on his tongue. your taste buds are satisfied at how you taste even better in his mouth. he spins you to lay flat on your stomach and you immediately position your ass up for him. he takes his place behind you and you hear his belt unbuckle, and him unzipping his pants. san puts on a condom and is quick to prod his erect member at your entrance. you hiss in pleasure when he slowly slides it in, not making any abrupt movement.
"god, you're so tight." he groans out, pulling you slowly towards him by your waist. you accommodate his girth into your warmness, thinking of how he sure is bigger than you ever imagined. his strokes begin to build a pace, finding you moaning under him when his cock brushes against your sweet spot. you bury your head deep within the mattress as he fucks you faster, fists crumpling the sheet underneath and breath as rasped as it could be from all the moaning.
"look who decided to show up." you hear from behind as your hair is softly pulled up by the man fucking you, removing your head from its hide. your gaze meets wooyoung's and you maintain eye contact for a moment. as you drag your eyes down his body you're surprised to see how he was stroking himself slowly, his dick already hard as it could get. your pussy instantly clenches around san, wooyoung showing a perverted grin as he catches your gaze linger on his cock for a second too long. he starts moving from the door frame towards the bed with cat-like motions, slowly ridding himself of his clothes.
"aw, you got all dolled up just for us." wooyoung said as he hooked his finger on the lace of your bra, pulling it aside to reveal your nipple. he pinches it in between his fingers and laughs as you hiss out to his action.
he climbs the bed and positions himself in front of you, taking notice quickly, you rise to fully support your weight on your arms, now being fucked doggy style by the man behind you. you direct your attention to wooyoung as he cups your soft cheek.
"would you suck me off, doll?" you couldn't say no even if you tried. so you wrap one of your hands around the base of wooyoung's cock and pump it a few times, brushing your thumb against his tip every time you reach it. you slowly take him into your mouth, starting to bob your head as his fingers get lost in your hair, pulling your mouth further down his length. you gag when san's thrusts from behind you make wooyoung's dick come in contact with the back of your throat. you start to moan around wooyoung's length as san adventures even deeper inside you, making your insides stir up every time his pelvis smacks against your ass. the sounds now are completely out of a porn, you and wooyoung moan and san grunts loudly in between swear words.
"i think we could make some good use of your gift." woo says as he swings the arm bracelets in front of you. "would you do the honors, baby?" he adds handing them to san, who doesn't hesitate even for a second as he takes your hands and places them on your back, skillfully securing them on your wrists. he holds you suspended by the chain connecting the two cuffs, and you feel your tits bouncing as san wrecks you from behind, and wooyoung from the front.
"look at how she's being a good slut just for us, woo." san says from behind, and all you can do is moan with your mouth stuffed as you hear the words. words that makes your walls clench around san once again, and while he fucks into you faster, you feel your orgasm starting to build up. "fuck, i wish you knew how tight she is. she's almost got me cumming." he completes as he rocks his hips into you desperately.
"i'm close too, baby." wooyoung replies to his lover as he moves your head faster on his cock. "should we let her cum as well, or should we make her beg for it?" he further asks him. the pressure on your wrists increases as san pulls you towards him, making your back arch even more. you feel a pleasant pain in your shoulders as he keeps you in the position.
"let's give her what she deserves, she's taking us both so well." talking as if you weren't there, san smacks your ass right after finishing his sentence, as if to bring you back to reality. his hand finds a hold of your clit and you almost scream around wooyoung's cock when he starts rubbing fast circles on your sensitive bud. if he kept going like this, you couldn't last for much longer.
"i wanna cum in your mouth." wooyoung said as he pulled you off of him. can i? was the thing he was going to say next, but he didn't need to ask anymore as you violently started to nod, all your senses being a captive to pleasure, especially your common sense. you open up your mouth, giving kitten licks to his tip as he starts to rub himself off. he cums in a few seconds, painting your mouth and cheeks with hot strands of his white seed. you feel him shuddering before you and look up to him. his head is thrown back, one hand on his cock and one on your head.
"you're such a pretty little cumslut." he says, gathering everything that's on your face, to push it into your mouth with his thumb. " don't swallow." he adds and you're not sure your fuzzy brain understands him as you feel the knot in your tummy quickly coming to its release. and just as you open your mouth, moaning loudly upon your release around san's cock, wooyoung bends down and takes your mouth into his. swirling his tongue along yours, gathering everything you hold in your wet cavern into his, mixing it with his spit, as well as yours. the gesture alone is so hot that it makes the orgasm you have ten times more ravishing, none of the men you've been with before has done that with you.
san doesn't stop fucking you until a few seconds later, your walls tightening around him so much that they milk him dry inside the condom as he settles deep inside you groaning. you're not sure you'll ever feel any other man the same way you've felt san tonight, filling up every single inch of your aching pussy.
you fall down, arms still held together, as you turn on your back to look at the men. they both look at you contently before doing, what to this point is (and you think will always be), the hottest thing you'll ever witness. san places his hand on wooyoung's jaw as they start kissing passionately, cum sliding down their chins from the corners of their mouth. their tongues switch fields from one mouth to another as they dance around.
"oh my god," you whisper to yourself as they pull apart, strings of cum mixed with saliva still connecting their mouths. you feel your core softening once again upon the sight. they turn your attention to you and laugh quietly as they position themselves on each side of you, but not before san removes your handcuffs. he places a hand on your thigh, tapping it proudly, telling you "you did good" and wooyoung only nuzzles his head in between your chest and arm, throwing one leg against yours, pulling himself closer. you look down and realize that you're the only one who has any pieces of clothing on, the lingerie held on proudly through the night. wooyoung seems to read your thoughts as he looks up to you.
"you've got to let me borrow this sometime." he says signaling to your lace set. you and san laugh, a quiet i told you so, floating through the air. it feels good, this moment. it's not awkward or out of place. it's just as if it's meant to be and you're sure you're never going to forgive this christmas.
"oh, after tonight, trust me, i'll give it to you for free." you coo.
"merry fucking christmas!" san exclaims on a playful tone, and you all start laughing in the hot air that settles in the room.
warnings: dirty talk, pet names, food splosh, oral sex (f receiving), impregnation kink, unprotected sex.
a/n: this is kinda sweet (hahaah just read the fic and laugh with me or else i'll feel very stupid). LISTEN 😤i don't fuck with marriage but for seonghwa🥺.......for mr park i would reconsider🥴.....i would ask for his hand myself🤧.......and throw myself out an airplane if he says no🤕. anyways, hope you enjoy xoxo!!!!
maybe having your families over for dinner wasn't such a good idea. as well you and seonghwa got along, as easily your families did not. always in disagreement, always squabbling about whatever topic was in the recent news, always draining both you and your husband of any energy. you wouldn't have planned it, the dinner, if christmas wasn't so close. you'd say it was a rushed decision the two of you made when you were high on pheromones after fucking right next to the newly decorated christmas tree. a decision both of you have come to regret now as you are cleaning the mess they made, in complete silence.
"i fucking hate when they're over."
you knew. you felt the same. ever since before the wedding, both of you were worried about how it's gonna work out between your families. the few occasions you brought them all together before ended catastrophically and you both came to the conclusion that the best thing to do in the situation was to visit them separately.
"i know baby, me too." you say walking over to him. his backside leaned against the kitchen top, wide shoulders seeming even wider in the black dress shirt he chose to wear, his slightly ruffled hair rested cutely atop his head, everything about him was making you feel butterflies in your stomach. like it was the first night you met him. you join your hands behind his waist and hug him tightly, pressing your cheek on his chest. he drags his arms up your back, slowly rubbing it with his delicate hands. you inhale seonghwa's scent deeply, smelling his familiarity makes you feel at peace almost instantly, and you imagine it works the same for him when he presses a tender kiss on the crown of your head.
"i think we ruined the chance of giving each other the best christmas present of not having them over." he mumbles, mouth still close to your head. you giggle and push yourself even more into his touch.
"it's okay, we'll manage to get over this headache somehow." you say and lift your head, pressing your chin on his chest. he pecks your lips softly and stares into your eyes contently for a few moments.
"everyday i love you more." seonghwa says, and your heart feels like it could burst out of its cage any second. it was moments like this that you thought the universe had a will. you couldn't blame luck for meeting seonghwa. it was not until recently that you've come to the realization that it was actually fate. you and him were meant to be together just like water and land were meant to meet.
"i love you too. you make me the happiest human being in the universe." you give in return, hoping that it's enough for him to understand the feelings you have for him, the ones that overwhelm any others. "but i fucking hate your mom." you add jokingly and he laughs in return, before joining his soft lips with yours once again.
you remain hugged for a few moments longer, swinging from side to side slowly until turns into a dance. there is no music, but you don't even need it, not when you have seonghwa by your side. you're reminded of the dance you did at your wedding, a not too complicated one, seeing how you were at the bottom of the list of good dancers, but one that you held close to your heart nonetheless. now you were performing a similar choreography in front of the oven and the pans, chuckling from time to time when seonghwa picked you up to swirl you around, or when he told you to lean down on his arm. could you ever get enough of him?
he pulls you into his arms once again, kissing you with a different passion this time, one that told you exactly what he wanted, especially with his hands travelling down to cup your ass. he pushed you until your back reached the same kitchen top he was leaning on earlier, parting your lips from his own to make room on it, moving the plates to the side so he can place you on top of the cold surface. your mouths were slowly melting into each other, tongues immediately invading each others space. his kisses slowly traveled down your jaw and neck, kissing the area where you tickle so easily with thirst. a sudden rattle sound filled the kitchen as you jolted in surprise looking to your left. you laughed seeing how seonghwa's hand had come in contact with one of the uncleaned plates, the whipping cream decorating the unfinished piece of cake was now coating your husband's fingers.
you turn your face to him only to be met with a smug look as he held up his hand, smearing the sweet paste on top of your lips.
"baby-" your protests are cut off by him crashing his lips on top of yours again, devouring the whipped cream as well as your lips. seems like your husband has another innovating idea when he gets rid of your top, as well as your bra with quick movements. you return the favor and excitedly unbutton his shirt, sliding it off his muscular shoulders to reveal his magnificent torso. he takes more of the whipped cream on his fingers, and paints your already hardened nipples white. he digs deep into your chest, taking your nipples one by one into his mouth, swirling his mouth around to collect any of the sticky residue. the feeling of his teeth slowly grazing onto them was making you dizzy all around, headspace now in a void yet full of the familiar ministrations of your partner. he rid you easily of the tightness of your pants as well as your panties, not needing to spread your legs apart for you already instinctively done it yourself. he dragged a chair from nearby and sat down on it in between your legs, hooking his arms under your thighs to position you closer to the edge and looking up to you as he once again dipped his fingers in the leftover dessert. no porn in the world would get you off like the sight of him right now.
he tainted various spots along your thighs with his fingers only to dip down after his fingers were partly clean to lick your skin with his warm tongue, working his way dangerously close to your core. he stopped once he reached it, mentally debating what his next move should be, seonghwa reached his fingers that had only a few strands of whipped cream left to your mouth that was slightly parted as it let little moans out. you took them in without hesitating, swirling your tongue around his digits, sucking them clean as you did many times before. only now it wasn't yourself that you tasted on him. he pulled them out of your mouth gently, dragging his hand along the curve of your body till it reached your pussy. you gasped at the sudden touch he offered as he gathered all the slickness awaiting at your hole to part your folds. he latched his mouth right onto your clit, fingers now teasing your entrance. you shrieked under his touch, hand going straight to his messed up hair that was pulling him closer or pushing him away. you didn't know anymore seeing how his fingers were now deep inside you moving in and out, angled the way only seonghwa knew. he worked you up until your legs started to shake around his head, his mouth sucking your clit sloppily and fingers moving into you harder. you tumbled over the edge pulling hard at his hair as you shook violently, pleasured screams escaping your mouth as your orgasm came unexpectedly. seonghwa only dragged his wet muscle down after removing his fingers, licking at your hole to make sure not even a drop of your cum doesn't rest on his eager tongue.
"fuck, you're way more delicious without it." he says as he leans back on the chair, wriggling out of his fitted pants. your face lit up at his words and even more upon seeing his pretty cock spring out of his boxers, excitedly hitting his torso.
"would you ride me princess?" seonghwa questions like he doesn't already know the answer.
"my pleasure." you jump down from the place you were pinned on, quickly placing your legs on each side of him and hooking your toes on his knees after you place your own on the chair to craft a better position for the following action. you slide down on his erect cock eagerly, moaning in pleasure at the familiarity of the heavenly stretch. he quickly squeezed your ass cheeks trying to help as you grinded on him with ease.
"maybe tonight's the night i should fuck my babies into you." he says lowly, starting his own movements of thrusting deep into you. one minute you declare your love for each other and the next you're horny beasts trying to figure out new ways to fuck. it was a pleasant dynamic of the relationship, one that could never get you bored for reasons already stated.
"maybe you should fuck them into me right here and the on the dining room table and then maybe once again in the bedroom." you say through swallowed back moans.
"does your mom know how you talk to men?"
"does yours know you play with your food?"
he smiles as he throws his head back, your hands digging into the skin of his shoulders as he starts thrusting himself faster into you. he pulls you into a deep kiss that makes your lungs burn due to your lack of oxygen. you quickly gasp out for air as he buries his face into your neck, hands finding purchase on your hips when his movements grow erratic. he paints your walls white when his hot seed spills out and when you expect him to slow down, he does exactly the opposite, cock going into you faster as he makes you lean down on the counter, his fingers travelling to your already sensitive clit to start rubbing small circles against it as he fucks his cum deep inside you. still fragile from few minutes ago, you come undone yet again around his cock, crying out his name as both of your releases mix inside you. no feeling quite as coming around your husbands cock in the kitchen of your own home. he kindly waits until your walls stop clenching around him, holding you tight in a hug while patting your head until his member feels soft inside of you. you pull back to study the face of your man under the yellowish light in the kitchen. as beautiful as ever.
"i love you so, so much." you state proudly as you hold his face with both of your hands and plant kisses all around.
"maybe we should have our families over more often." he sighs and you laugh as he gets up and carries you to the dining room table, to further fulfill your desires.
