Ork space pirates in action on a storm-wracked world (Paul Bonner cover art for Freebooterz, Space Ork army lists for Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader, Games Workshop, 1991)
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Ork space pirates in action on a storm-wracked world (Paul Bonner cover art for Freebooterz, Space Ork army lists for Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader, Games Workshop, 1991)
Humans are one of the longer lived animals on this planet, outlived by only a handful of things. So instead of humans as space orks, rapidly and aggressively spreading, please consider the following:
Humans as space elves. Ridiculously long lived, even compared to the Redronia who were previously envied for their long lives of 7.5 large galactic time units (approx 37.5 terran years). They are often willing to wait years, MULTIPLE YEARS! for projects to complete or plans to play out. Each one is possessed of more life experience and the accompanying wisdom than a Quixlan could attain in 3 lifetimes by the time they reach their age of maturity. Never let them borrow something however, as it may be half a lifetime before you see it again.
Armageddon
Skrullnok Grimchewa and his pet hoomie, Snipe Arnold. Snipe is the only survivor of his platoon after a brutal battle against Orks. Skrullnok found Snipe half conscious and decided he would make a fun war prize to decorate his choppa!
(and then Snipe reluctantly falls in love and they hug and kiss and kiss and hug and FU-)
How'd you like it, human?
Entry 72
Humans are so annoying. They want to touch everything. The human on ship keeps touching animals even. Nobody asked them to. They just do it.
Human! Stop touching animals and making weird noises and pick stuff up and do human related things!!
Entry 79
Human is still touching animals and making bizarre vocalizations at every opportunity.
It occurs to me that they'd soon give up if it happened to them.
I have an amazing idea. I wills tart petting the human! They will soon desist in their annoying behavior.
Entry 80
I have made a terrible miscalculation.
And now a random idea. An Ork Painboss who spends his time curing diseases not for some medical duty, but because diseases are just another enemy to krump.
His boys get into a battle with Nurgle Daemons and he's like "Oi! Dis 'ere sickness is in need of a good kickin'!!!" And he proceeds to take out organs, replace them with whatever tough parts he can fit in the ork, and smacks it a bit with his concoction of lighter fluid, fungus beer, and a live squig in a bottle and uses it to "give dat disease a good krumpin!" And Nurgle just hates that a being can overcome his gifts not with medicine, but with brute force.
Well call it M.O.S.H (Mobile Ork Surgical Hospital)
(Radical) Ordo Xenos Inquisitor Graham Van Der Hel
This is the unit/model/dude that ties together various otherwise disparate elements of my Imperial Guard army. If you donât know what an Inquisitor is in 40K, imagine if Spectres from Mass Effect had even more unchecked power to do whatever they want with the absolute trust that whatever shit they get up to will be âfor the good of the Imperium.â There are several different sects or âordosâ of inquisitors, each specializing in different mass threats the Imperium faces. The Ordo Xenos is the one that specializes in aliens.
âRadicalâ Inquisitors are ones who have reached truly preposterous and nigh unthinkable conclusions in their study and action. Some radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitors, Van Der Hel among them, have even proposed that cooperation with alien races could be beneficial to humanity when facing the threats of Chaos and the Great Devourer.
Like I said before, Inquisitors can do basically whatever they want and virtually any administration in the Imperium has to listen to them. They can commandeer entire Imperial Guard regiments, for example. The 62nd Crisis Prime Mechanized Division, due to the regimentâs already-borderline-heretical slight openness to the idea of ceasefire and negotiation with xenos races, are his go-to when his mission calls for a sledgehammer. They go where he tells them, and reports of the regimentâs various breaks from protocol end up mysteriously erased or lost.
Another one of Inquisitor Van Der Helâs connections is the Bloodaxe Ork Kommando known as âBig Boss.â
(Guardsman for scale)
The Bloodaxe Klan of orks is one of the rarer ones, as other ork klans mostly donât trust them or consider them pansies for doing things like âwearing camouflageâ or âusing advanced strategy.â They are also known to do mercenary work for the Imperium on occasion.
Big Boss and his Bloodaxe Kommandos are another army that Van Der Hel can call on, because he knows where some of da best fightinâ is, which means that the 62nd and Big Bossâs Bloodaxes occasionally fight side-by-side.
I donât have an actual ork army, Big Bossâs Bloodaxes just make certain Imperial Guard units within my Imperial Guard army, with Big Boss himself using the datasheet for Nork Dedog.
Wonder of wonders, a very rare infiltrated imperial guard (I'll even post the rules). All they had to do was wear khaki pants and the blood axes orcs hired them! On their backs you can see their testimonies of love for the orcs. These Imperials are clever! I hope you like them