#xtayxx

[minniepetals]

The recent chapter left me speechless! It was amazing, im glad they’re finally taking steps to earn forgiveness and see who she actually is. Yoongi saw enough from her that I think he understands her differently , sees her differently and I think it might be the catalyst to them working their way to earning forgiveness.

I love that she breaks her cold character for kids, she genuinely just wants what’s for them. I can’t wait to see what happens next I love your writing so much

i'm so glad you enjoyed it! y/n is certainly seen in a different lighting by the boys as compared to the beginning chapters. there are definitely lots of layers to unravel with y/n but in the way the boys have gone through their own shares of traumas, they certainly understand that forcing someone to break down their walls and speak their truth isn't the right way to approach them.

yoongi and y/n are similar, though yoongi can't grasp that concept just yet since there are lots of facts he has yet to know of, and there are lots of more things they have yet to discover about her. the reason why i'm making them approach her slowly without the urge to find out the truth so suddenly and forcefully is for y/n, so that in a world where she feels everything is out of her control, her own experiences, her traumas and story, is the very thing she can control, and if she loses that control, if someone (anyone) finds out the truth on their own, it'll only do her more damage than good

people are like "bruh why're the boys so slow?" and "imagine if they found out her secrets by snooping" etc etc., and i'm just here like noooo, that'd be bad because our y/n doesn't want that and it'll not only ruin the relationship that's slowly beginning to heal, but it'll also stop any sort of healing on her part.

part of y/n's journey to healing is opening up her heart willingly and letting others in on her truth willingly.

if things turn a different tide, if the truth came out against her will, how will that do her any good?

everyone's journey to healing is different but this is y/ns' and the boys, in a way, understands that, hence seokjin's monologue saying that they're going to wait patiently until she's ready -- if she's ever ready. and if she's never ready, then that's alright for them as well.

it's for the sake of their relationship and for the sake of her healing.

[minniepetals]

I just finished reading cry me a river chapter 16 and it was a lot to process.

My heart breaks for the boys given that they actually loved her and namjoon put them in the position that was like between a rock and a hard place. It was a painful read seeing as how he fell out of love simply because he wanted the deep dark secrets but I feel his concern for her in that time that he was in love was over shadowed by a jealousy because he thought she had such a good upbringing and therefore he had less patience when it came to her because of his perception of her life when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Poor hobi got the short end of the stick where she tried to protect him while they broke her but in then end he was also broken because of all of them, and you can see he still cares based on how he acts in previous chapters.

Y/n is such a broken character, I’m waiting for the ball to drop where they find out what she actually lived through and feel like shit because even now, she’s still broken over them, namjoon’s words hurt her and they chose him over her, and she’s so terrified of being abandoned and them finding everything out that she’d rather lie about killing jungwon because then namjoon hates her and can’t leave her again. But she needs to learn you can’t run from your problems and killing people who hurt you only creates a bigger list of enemies because those people don’t care that they hurt her.

all chaos is mixed into one single bowl and everything's so complicated lmao.

an anon pointed out namjoon's feelings in a way that i felt described him very well -- in terms of being valid in how he thought (his approach was wrong but he wasn't at fault for everything). in a relationship where he was able to open up and show her his vulnerability, broke down his walls, cried and relied on her, y/n in turn couldn't do that for him. and that wasn't her fault either, but because namjoon was left in the dark, he felt as if perhaps what he was giving her wasn't enough, and questioned whether his own love for her was right and whether she was actually happy with them or not -- because remember, the boys were the first to fall in love and when she joined the relationship, she was still figuring things out and trying out how it felt to accept love.

in all honesty, y/n wasn't ready for love because that anon was right. relationship goes both ways and because she wasn't able to accept their love in full, their (namjoon's) insecurities came out in a larger context and eventually, he just stopped.

love was a strange word in her vocabulary, because while she did have her mister butler, he was ripped away from her, and he was the only one who taught her what it felt to be loved in turn but at a young age. y/n's been surrounded with hate and disrespect and people looking down on her and she's always been rejected when she loved (her mother, her father, even the people the worked under her), so to be brought into a different environment doesn't mean she can easily accept that. the boys loved her unconditionally but she didn't know how to open up, how to speak up, to accept what it was they were offering to her, and returned to shutting herself away from them, just as she's been taught to her whole entire life.

even towards the reapers that cares a lot for her, she's unable to accept all of them -- their love. she refuses to see it and barely utters a word about anything about her and when she does, they're always in vague terms. in the reaper's case, they were with her during a lot of the abuse her father had put her through but if anyone else were to look at her from afar, they would see her as nothing but this powerful woman who killed her father for the throne, not understanding at all where she came from

[minniepetals]

I saw the post about putting y/n into more angsty situations. I just wanna say I appreciate you and the warning 😂 I’m so attached to the story and need to emotionally prepare for whatever you throw at me. You’re incredibly talented, the way you’re able to bring out such emotions in your audience is incredible, I hope you’re happy and healthy 💕

haha thank you. to be honest, getting into reading cmar itself already has a warning because of how angsty it is lmao 🫠

[minniepetals]

I just wanna say I love the latest chapter of cry me a river. I can’t wait for the next one. The chapter had me hanging onto my seat it was so intense, she breaks my heart but I’m curious to see how the boys react to her speech after she left

pretty sure it'll stir up some memories oop but hey, they kinda needed that wake up call, don't you think?