I have a plot for a yandere story im writing, tell me if its good? Plot is, we have the main yandere adriel. He knows mc from a past life thing. They were together in past life, but bc he committed crimes, he was punished to remember his past life while he was reborn. He went to find mc, and spends all his life doing so, eventually kidnaps her to prevent her going away again, which is his worst fear. Hes more an abusive prick than a yandere, with some bpd in there. Is this a bad plot or nah?
Hey anon, it’s Julie here. I read about your plot… it’s really good. I like it. Based on your character, Adriel, I wouldn’t say he’s a yandere based on Kai and I’s definition of a yandere. Still, I’m not going to discourage you from writing this story or changing Adriel’s character, because l feel this is a interesting story and Adriel is an interesting character to explore. Again, just know that Kai and I don’t consider him as a yandere. Anyway, here are some suggestions that I have for your story:
1. If Adriel is abusive as you say, then you should try to make his backstory explain why he acts this way. It shouldn’t just be a brief explanation either. The backstory should be very detailed; like one of those backstories your read about anti-heroes.
2. I feel like the story would be better if Adriel is the protagonist instead of a female main character. The reason being is because if the reader sees from Adriel’s point of view, he’ll gain more pity points. If you were to write from the female MC point of view, then Adriel will only look like a villainous abuser.
3. I’m not sure if you have an OC for the female MC, but I suggest in making her more of a jerk. This is so that it seems reasonable for why Adriel is so brutal towards the MC. Maybe make the MC an abuser?
Anyways, Kai and I wish you the best of luck with your story. I hope our suggests helped you with your story.
I’m going to pass the microphone over to Kai now.
Hey there anon! Kai here.
Julie and I talked about your plot together. We agree that it’s a good idea; since we don’t like to discourage others from writing and we believe that people have the right to write what they want. But the issue here is that Adriel doesn’t sound like a yandere based on what you’re saying. I’m sure you already know our yandere criterias. A character could break one or two criterias and still come out as a decent to good yandere in the end. But the one rule that is the defining line between was is a yandere and what isn’t a yandere is this: Is the character abusive. You said it yourself, dear anon, Adriel is more of an abusive prick than a yandere. Julie and I are firm believers that a true yandere wouldn’t abuse their S/O.
You had us for a moment, anon, with the past life concept. We really like the use of past lives and what not for stories and it makes for a solid reason as to why a yandere would like the MC. But unfortunately, you lost us once you stated that Adriel is more of an abuser. Personally, this sounds like another “MC vs. the yandere” plot that you see in every other yandere fic. Regardless of how you paint it, the plot boils down to: “The MC is kidnapped by the yandere and now she has to find a way to escape/defeat the yandere.” Again, I’m not saying to abandon this plot or anything. If you feel strongly about it, then go ahead and write your story. But… this would be a pass for me (sorry anon).
I also want to mention that if you do go through with this plot, I suggest not tagging this as “yandere”. Again, Adriel doesn’t sound like a yandere and I don’t want to encourage people in the thought of “yanderes= abusers”. Perhaps angle this towards psychopath more than anything. I also want to say that having BPD does not automatically make a character be a yandere. Yes, I agree that BPD is probably our closest to a “real world yandere” mental illness but someone with BPD can easily not be a yandere. As Julie and I like to say: “A psychopath is not a yandere. But a yandere could be a psychopath.”
Well, that’s my opinion. In the end, this is your story. Do what you want as long as your happy doing it.
