Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest pop-up event Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Happy Pride, everyone!) | Prompt: Yellow | Song: [redacted spoiler - revealed at the end] | Word Count: ~950 | Rating: T | Characters: Corroded Coffin, Eddie Munson, Gareth Emerson, Jeff, Doug, Fluffy | CW: Crack fic (almost literally), slightly lewd language, pure unadulterated nonsense | Tags: Corroded Coffin, on tour, Eddie has a crisis | Summary: Eddie’s no slouch when it comes to dressing up on stage, but this time even he thinks he may have taken things too far…
My masterlist
It’s the first night of Corroded Coffin’s new tour, and, true to form, Eddie’s having some kind of crisis. Tonight, it’s about his outfit.
“Look, I know the low slung red rubber trousers went a bit far. And that studded harness was a health and safety nightmare…”
Gareth scoffs, grinning,
“You’re telling me, when I tried to hug you after the gig you almost pierced a lung!”
Eddie winces. He really should’ve considered the practicalities of that one a little more. He adjusts a strap and continues his machinations.
“And that Lurex jumpsuit was great, but I kept getting the flares caught in the cabling… I almost fell off the stage way too many times, and I thought I was gonna strangle and die at one point.”
He looks sideways at himself in the dresser.
“But, this new thing… Are you sure it’s not… too much?”
Eddie turns so he’s fully facing the mirror. Tonight, he’s in a mesh bodysuit, the wide neckline allowing him to pull it down around his shoulders, and his favourite high black leather boots. He’s strapped his torso into a new harness, one with somewhat smaller and less… aggressive studs. The steel through his nipples glitters under the lights, and his dark tattoos are brought into perfect relief against his pale skin, peeping through the gaps in the harness and the netting. He knows he looks good, and ordinarily he’d just add some PVC hotpants and maybe a leather codpiece and be good to go. But tonight, overtop, there’s a special new addition that even he’s nervous about showing off.
Jeff assuages his fears, knowing a confident Eddie is a rockstar god Eddie.
“Nah, man. You can totally carry it off.”
Gareth agrees.
“Yeah, do it!”
Doug adds, spreading his arms wide for emphasis,
“Fuck it, man. YOLO, right?”
Eddie remains unconvinced.
“I dunno… It’s pretty revealing. And it’s also a little… snug. In certain… areas. Especially when I’m holding Sweetheart...”
It’s late. They’re due on stage any minute. They all know that if Eddie has to figure out a whole new look they’re gonna fuck up the schedule… So, Jeff seals the deal.
“Okay, how about this. If you wear it for tonight’s gig, I’ll donate my cut to that dog charity that helped us so much with Fluffy when we toured the UK, and I’ll wear one of their pins for the whole tour. Their awareness colour is yellow, right?”
On hearing her name Fluffy, the fully baptised fifth member of Corroded Coffin, stirs. She looks up, intrigued, as her tongue flops out the side of her wide Staffie grin and her tail thumps heavily a couple of times against her comfy, monogrammed bed. After concluding the anticipated treats aren’t on the immediate horizon, she snuggles back down, her yellow bandana shifting around her thick neck - still her signature style even if she doesn’t need it nearly as much as she used to.
There’s a low clamour in the room as everyone else concurs, searching their bags for the souvenir enamels that they all purchased last year. Eddie still doesn’t seem entirely comfortable, but with an offer like this on the table, for his favourite girl? He can’t help but agree…
🎶🎵 Bop bop bop bop, ba-dop-pop-pop-pop-pop 🎵🎶
He was afraid to come out of the green room
He was as nervous as he could be
He didn’t want to come out of the green room
He was too scared that somebody would see
🎶 Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore 🎶
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini
That he wore for the first time tonight
An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini
So, in the green room, he trembled with fright
🎶 Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more 🎶
He didn’t want to come out in the open
And so behind Gareth’s drumkit he sat
He was too scared to come out in the open
And so he squatted behind the high hat
🎶Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore 🎶
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini
That he wore for the first time tonight
An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini
So, by the drumkit, he stayed out of sight
🎶 Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more 🎶
Now he’s afraid to remove his guita-ar
And they wonder what he’s gonna do
He doesn’t want to take off his guita-ar
Though his poor little balls have turned blue
🎶 Two, three, four, tell the people what he wore 🎶
It was an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini
That he wore for the first time tonight
An itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, yellow, polka dot mankini…
Then he said, “Fuck it!” and strutted all night!
[SOCIAL MEDIA INTERLUDE]
Corroded Coffin’s frontman Eddie Munson WOWS crowds with daring new look!
Mankini sales soar as rockstar Munson brings back the iconic garment
Pantone announces Mankini Yellow as next year’s colour of the year
UK changes Union flag to Yellow, White and Blue
Vogue ditches supermodel cover to feature scantily yellow-clad metal band
Coldplay frontman Chris Martin reveals that Yellow was actually about Eddie’s banana hammock all along
Fluffy launches designer pet wear range - yellow bandanas a top seller!
Donations to charities for nervous dogs reach an all time high - one says they can keep going for a decade on recent contributions alone
🎶 From the green room to the drumkit
From his guitar to the stage
Eddie Munson’s a new icon
His mankini’s all the rage! 🎶
🎶🎵 Bop pop pop 🎵🎶
[Song used: Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Brian Hyland]
Thanks so much for reading! 😃
A/N: Yellow Dog UK is a real charity that promotes awareness and understanding of “yellow dogs”, who may be nervous, in training, recovering from an injury or illness, being rehabilitated or simply prefer to keep their distance from people and other dogs. Yellow ribbons, leads, harnesses or bandanas can indicate that a dog may be anxious or in need of space. It signals to others to be gentle, give room, and avoid sudden or intrusive approaches.
A/N2: This might be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever written and I AM NOT SORRY
Holy shit and here it is. The first comic. I'm dying and super nervous. I really super hope this goes well. I'm still testing out what drawing style I want to use, so it may change over time. For now, please enjoy William being silly.
Day 2: strange Combination of two animals. I went to the group chat for ideas with this one, and ended up with lots that I liked. I drew them all together first, then put my favorite in my yellow book. The Ciraffe. I’m not as happy with it as I was with the first one I drew, but that’s okay. Other creature are: Flion, Earkey, whamster, and Starpus
